Making things is both awesome and scary

Whenever my children are being buttheads—and trust me when I tell you this happens plenty often—the default tension-defuser is for said child to declare, “YOU MADE A THING!” Translation: “I’m a butthead, but you made me, so clearly this is your fault.” (Monkey also loves to follow it up with a gesture towards his sister and the addition of “You made TWO things!” Har har.) And it’s true, I made two things which are apparently now full-fledged individuals whom I cannot control. TERRIFYING.

I feel compelled to make LOTS of things. Some of them work out, some don’t. Some are successful, some not. Some are scary, like when I decided it would be a FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC idea to purchase this mushroom-growing kit because HOW FUN! Mind you, I am the only person in our immediate family who even LIKES mushrooms. But SCIENCE! We watered it and peered at it for about a week, wondering if our kit was a dud. But then… look, I’m just going to hide this under the fold in case fungus freaks you out. It’s freaky. But if you dare, click through and behold the FUNGIPOCALYPSE.


I MEAN. It’s freaky any way you slice it, really, but consider that we went from having NOTHING to the last picture there in THREE DAYS. That’s not right. Nothing should grow that fast. The kids are cracking jokes about the mushrooms eating them in their sleep and I’d be lying if I said that hadn’t occurred to me.

Don’t worry, though—I think I’ll harvest them tonight. We’re having burgers and mmmm, sautéed mushrooms on burgers. Yum. Also I hope to absorb the mushrooms’ freakish power and be a fraction of how mighty they are, after.

This story is also an awkward preamble to another tale of us making things. Over at Alpha Mom, you can read about our familyversary adventure in pottery class. We made things. I made two things, and then they made things. And they (the things I made, not the things they made, though I suppose by some transitive property here, those too) make me happy, along with that guy who puts up with all three of us.

6 Responses to “Making things is both awesome and scary”

  1. 1
    Debra May 27, 2015 at 9:32 am #

    Let us know how they taste.

  2. 2
    Katherine May 27, 2015 at 2:53 pm #

    We had a mushroom log at one time. It sat in a corner of the dining room for weeks needing to be misted daily before it finally produced some plainer mushrooms. And no worries about them taking over the room, they were not super fast.

  3. 3
    Jeanie May 27, 2015 at 5:55 pm #

    Oh, I must get my sister a mushroom-growing kit for her birthday. She absolutely DETESTS them. I mean, you should hear her! When her daughter got married and they were choosing a caterer, she told each one that she didn’t even want to see a mushroom as an embellishment. Now, that’s hate.

  4. 4
    Ali May 27, 2015 at 8:42 pm #

    I was unaware that mushrooms creeped me out until today so thanks for the lesson in self discovery. But, seriously, kill it. Kill it with fire.

  5. 5
    Jessica (tc) May 27, 2015 at 9:04 pm #

    I just discovered this video this weekend, and it was hilarious, but you seriously have to give credit to fungi. Some of them are freaky! (Toad’s Deadly Secret from Super Mario Bros.)

    Did you know that Goombas in Mario are supposed to be mushrooms, too? Who knew?

  6. 6
    Mary K. in Rockport May 28, 2015 at 3:57 pm #


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