I didn’t mean to wander off and forget to post for so long. This is the part where I should apologize and tell you how completely fantastical and over-full my life is, I guess, except that:
1) I believe that YOUR life is probably interesting enough that me not posting matters to you pretty much not at all, or at least it shouldn’t, and
2) I have absolutely no idea what I’ve been doing, and I’m sure it wasn’t that exciting or I would remember.
The second one is kind of a lie, actually. SOME of what I’ve been doing is having flashbacks to high school math, because OH GOD ALL THE MATHS. Did I mention that my darling daughter is taking this insane math class? Two or three or fifteen times? Listen, if you told me to pick between the math class my daughter is taking OR receiving a Brazilian wax administered by drunken toddlers, I would be hard-pressed to tell you which one I would prefer. By the time she finished the first week, she was all “I think I’ll work ahead this weekend! This is going great!” and I was just silently weeping in the corner.
I’m not sure I could pass this class again if I had the whole academic year to do it—I mean, I’m pretty sure I took this class back in 1987 or so, but my brain was younger and more elastic back then—and here she is, whipping through it in 6 weeks. One day it was all “MOM, I NEED HELP WITH THESE 3-DIMENSIONAL GRAPHS” and the next day it was “Okay, that unit’s over, what do you know about standard deviation?”
[Sidebar: I know a lot more about standard deviations than I do about plotting 3-dimensional graphs. But my real strength lies in lamenting—loudly—that the so-called “teacher” for this online class seems to be mostly unavailable and never actually grades anything. I often suggest Chickie mail the teacher with her questions, and the teacher always responds to her email… after the assignment due date, usually, with cheerful exhortations like, “Well, I guess you figured it out!” Um. Useful. Hence my being plunged back into math-infested waters.]
So, anyway, there’s been a lot of math for her, and many nightmares, for me. She seems to be enjoying it, though. (The math. Not my nightmares. As far as I know.)
Meanwhile, Monkey and Otto headed out for their annual Testosterone Voyage (or guys’ trip, but I’m working on a new name and trying this one out) (I don’t know that Testosterone Voyage is the right one; kind of sounds like they’re sailing the open sea, killing sharks with their bare hands), and because this is the first year that Monkey has had his own cell phone, it’s like I’m RIGHT THERE. First he started texting me from the car while they were en route, doing a charming combination of both all-caps and LOLspeak, until I asked him to please stop screaming at me and also to remember that English is his native language. Then on their first museum excursion where people had the NERVE to bring SMALL CHILDREN who were BREAKING THE RULES, I was treated to a series of Aspie-fueled indignations, which were shared via texts like “One kid just ripped down the DO NOT CLIMB sign” and “some girl is yelling out numbers at this hourglass.” THE HORROR.
Teachable moments! They’re EVERYWHERE! Like, right here on my cell phone, as I explain to my darling son that patience is a virtue and Otto could take him outside for a break if he needed it, but mostly he needed to stop worrying so much about what everyone else was doing and focus on his own good time, damnit. (I did not say damnit. That would’ve been wrong. Also, Siri probably would’ve corrected it to daikon or something.)
And then this morning Otto Facetimed me about five minutes after I got up so that Monkey could see me, and I feel confident that any lingering homesickness he may have been feeling was completely cured by being confronted with my pillow-creased face and bedhead.
In other scintillating news, it has been raining a lot and my hair is unhappy. (Or maybe it’s very happy? Is frizz happy? I am unhappy with my hair, but it’s entirely possible that my hair is THRILLED with itself, all “YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!” and stuff.) My garden is going nuts, though, and in addition to being sick of snap peas, Chickadee and I had our first roasted Japanese eggplants of the season a couple of days ago and they were delicious. There’s approximately seven gazillion green tomatoes coming along, too, though we have a ways to go before they’re ready.
My life is fascinating, I know.
So in addition to math, and actual WORK work (I am still doing that, I think…), Chickie and I are preparing for our own excursion. More on that in a few days. Right now it mostly consists of doing laundry and her looking up from her homework and declaring, “I need socks before we go! Can we go to the store?” (Answer: Yes, we can go to the store after you finish your work. Also, have you looked under your bed? Because DUDE.)
Basically this summer is such a HUGE improvement over last summer, I have (comparatively) little to say about it. Last year I gave Otto a birdhouse and we hung it up, and lots of birds came and went, but it was unclear if any tried to nest there. This year a pair of birds definitely set up shop, and this weekend I discovered that there is finally a nestful of (loud) babies inside. I peek in as often as I can without freaking out the parent birdies, because when there’s a handful of miracles dangling off the side of your porch, that deserves a certain reverence.
Everything starts over again eventually. It’s normal and boring and simply lovely.
Boring is good. You didn’t mention the pool. *backs away prepared to sprint in the opposite direction*
SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Perfection is a life so uneventful that the beauty in ordinary things peeps through. Lovely.
No news as good news is how I’m taking it! A post filled with little miracles, green growing things and having your own good time (with or without the damnit) is totally acceptable, wonderful even…you deserve to have a life sprinkled with these happier keywords. Glad the math and frizz are all you have to fear in this post. There’s probably more below the surface, but as far as daily trials, I’ll take it as a win!
The men in my SILs family have a annual camping trip (just for the boys) that they call “Penis Keepers”.
Just in case you want to try that one on for size. You’re welcome.
+1 for the horrified noise that Otto will make when he reads this comment.
I love Jan! That is all.
I am reading this in a public place (okay, it’s a bar) and I just blew wine out of my nose (okay, it wasn’t wine it was snot). Thank you so much.
BWAAAAHAHA!!!!
I mean it in the nicest possible way when I say I hope you are very boring for a very long time
I KNOW WHERE YOU’RE GOING!
*big grin*
Ooh, where!?
:D
So, you are taking an Estrogen Voyage?
Estrogen Escape :D
…a kid ripped down a “do not climb” sign? Is this an actual example or a hyperbole example? Because I think I would have been similarly disgruntled at that sort of child interfering with my museum enjoyment.
It was unclear. It’s possible a kid touched it and then got taken away by a parent, y’know? Once he’s disgruntled the hyperbole is hard to distinguish.
To be fair, when I’m disgruntled, the cause of my disgruntlement is the WORST THING IN THE WORLD. I can hide it pretty well, but inside I’m telling off the parents of the kids who crying and fighting in my office. I mean…sometimes I feel a little annoyed at people in general. Nothing specific ever gets me irritated at work. At all.
I’m so glad you’re having a boring summer. Eh, you know what I mean.
You should call it the Testosterone Trek. More coolerer than a voyage.
Awesome Alliteration!
I don’t know. I don’t really think testosterone and museums go together, so maybe replace the first word with something else? Personally, I’d combine Otto and Monkey and make it the Otto-mon Trek. Or, Mon-otto Trek. Heh. Instead of mano a mano, its Mon-otto!
Boyage?
Depends on the museums. Car museums, science museums (yawn), one of those hands on places that lets you blow stuff up (I would go), I bet there’s a scat museum somewhere…..
Jan, you made my flippin’ day. Thank you!!
And enjoy the boring, Mir. I’m having a pleasantly uneventful summer as well.
I love your updates! Waiting for the next pool one . . . drip . . . drip . . . :)
Yes, normalcy is completely underrated.
Thanks, Mir! Thanks so much for putting the imagery of a Brazilian wax administered by drunken toddlers in my head. Really. Thanks.
…and ooh, such a beautiful thing. Amen, and Amen again. and I’m not even religious.
…um, not the brazilian wax. You knew that, right?
The Extreme Georgia humidity + extra rain + curly hair = HOLY MOLY with the amazing! spectacular! expanding hair! I am right there with you. I’m not sure exactly how much distance their is between our homes but I’m sure if you look toward the 85N direction, you’ll see my hair. I vote for Mancation. That way, they aren’t hemmed in by any testosterone adventuring.
Or perhaps *there* is between our homes…sheesh.
What kind of birds?
Wrens!
Do they not have the loudest voice per body mass? Enjoy! I was fortunate enough to be able to monitor a wild turkey nest with 14 eggs this spring along with the usual blue birds, phoebes, cardinals, mourning doves, and yes, wrens. Although I did have to evict one wren who built her nest between the grill and the radiator of my truck. My truck, my rules. (Also my only transportation, so not really a moment of pause on my part.)
Oh dear, your truck?? And yes, they are mouthy little things.
I graduated cum laude with a 4-year math degree . . and now can’t remember any of it past some of my 8th grade algebra.
50 points to Gryffindor (for being boring.) Love your comments about your hair being thrilled. Hair definitely has a mind of its own.
You make even the boring days worth reading about. Enjoy your trip with Chickie!
You do know about Khan Academy, right? Point Chickadee at it–might save you some agony.
Just reading about standard deviation gave me nightmares, and I wasn’t even that bad at math. I can’t imagine spending a whole summer doing it though!! +1 for Chickie for even attempting it.
OMG the rain! I told my husband the other day that I was unaware that Georgia had a monsoon season, and I whined about how soggy everything is.
The weather gods were listening, though, because now there is no rain, and it’s 5 million degrees outside. Yard should be dried out in no time!
p.s.-As a birder, I was going to ask what kind of bird, but see you answered that above with wren. The question begs to be asked now: Carolina or House wren?
Also, http://www.artofproblemsolving.com/ for their free videos.