Sorry, I’ve been cleaning

It’s a funny thing about putting one foot in front of the other; it works just fine until you get to a point where you realize you can only keep doing it if you shut out everything else. Then you put one foot in front of the other with your fingers in your ears and your eyes closed and people look at you funny.

So that’s what I’ve been doing since last Friday. I’m still doing it, to some extent. My parents are here, which is fantastic, but there is now some question of whether Chickadee is coming home for Christmas, as she has managed to come down with a mighty case of The Crud at precisely the wrong time. I maybe didn’t realize how badly I need to see her until it became possible that I wouldn’t, and that on top of everything else… well, it’s just been a long week (hello, understatement).

So mostly I’ve been vacuuming and dusting and scrubbing. Also, I’m over at Feel More Better, talking about not talking about it. I’m still feeling a little unsteady, but my house is really clean.

24 Responses to “Sorry, I’ve been cleaning”

  1. 1
    liv December 18, 2012 at 8:31 pm #

    i’m sorry. :( :(

  2. 2
    Anna December 18, 2012 at 8:47 pm #

    Ugh. So very unfair.

  3. 3
    Lylah December 18, 2012 at 8:58 pm #

    I hear you. I didn’t realize how badly I (we) (OK, I) needed to see our big kids until I learned we couldn’t make it happen this year. Sending you lots of love. My house is filthy, though.

  4. 4
    Kate December 18, 2012 at 9:04 pm #

    Oh, Mir, I’m so sorry :(

  5. 5
    Beth R December 18, 2012 at 9:18 pm #


  6. 6
    Katherine December 18, 2012 at 9:44 pm #

    Oh no! I hope the crud clears up and out fast, both so Chickie can come visit and so she doesn’t feel rotten. Prayers for you both.

  7. 7
    Lise December 18, 2012 at 9:59 pm #

    I’m sorry. Sending many get-well-soon vibes to Chickie and hoping like crazy that she’s able to come home.

    I totally understand the urge to clean when the rest of your world is out of your control.
    i’d be doing that myself except (and here’s a bit of schadenfreude for you) i had surgery to fix a broken finger yesterday. i broke it, not on an apple, but on the ocean floor when i was caught by a big wave while playing in the water…..while on my honeymoon. And merciful heavens, I have no idea how you worked and parented and coped with life when you went through this. I don’t think one can understand how painful a hand fracture can be until they experience it. The fact that you had to endure physical pain on top of all the emotional pain this year is incredibly unfair.

  8. 8
    Sheila December 18, 2012 at 10:05 pm #

    C’mon, 2013 already! Enough with the 2012 for our dear Mir!

    I do hope your girl can get home and if not, that you can get to her. Fingers are crossed for you.

  9. 9
    Korinthia Klein December 18, 2012 at 11:07 pm #

    I, and several people I know, found we were compelled to clean after 9-11. There is something about getting something accomplished and in order… It feels good to have control over something when we feel helpless otherwise.

  10. 10
    Brenda December 18, 2012 at 11:31 pm #

    Ugh. I’m so sorry. :(

    I totally understand the need to clean. After my first stint in the hospital, I wrote on my crisis plan that if I was starting to feel out of control, one of the things I could do to calm down was clean my dorm room. My counselor questioned that, and I said that I always feel better when there is order around me. It’s something I can control, it makes me feel productive, and there are immediate visible results.

  11. 11
    Damsel December 19, 2012 at 12:48 am #

    I ALWAYS clean and organize when other things are out of my control. It’s therapeutic to control the things I can, and it’s mindless enough so that I can work on mentally letting go of the things I can’t. Plus, I feel less stressed if my HOME – the place where my family and I LIVE and come to be loved and accepted and helped and relaxed – is orderly and peaceful and clean when I look at it.

    {{{HUGS}}} and praying that Chickadee is able to make it home!!!

  12. 12
    Stephanie Stenner December 19, 2012 at 4:53 am #

    I’m sorry Mir. :( I hope Chickadee gets better and makes it home soon. I can’t even imagine how difficult things are for you, right now. Please know that you are in my thoughts, daily.

  13. 13
    AlisonC December 19, 2012 at 6:08 am #

    I hope Chickie gets better in time to come visit.
    Love to you all – roll on 2013

  14. 14
    Katie December 19, 2012 at 8:03 am #

    Another stress cleaner here – and you’re right, all you can do is put one foot in front of the other. Maybe some ear plugs are in order so you can have your hands free?!? :-)

  15. 15
    Arnebya December 19, 2012 at 8:57 am #

    Heading to FMB, but had to say — I keep putting my feet in front of one another but I’m going in circles. And my house looks like shit.

  16. 16
    Karen R December 19, 2012 at 9:13 am #

    Oh, no! Tell her to suck down some oil of oregano — STAT. It tastes vile, but knocks out those cold germs.

  17. 17
    Peggy Fry December 19, 2012 at 10:00 am #

    why don’t you guys go and see her? Or just you go and give her some mama-time?

  18. 18
    Genevieve December 19, 2012 at 11:32 am #

    Sending out tons of wishes/vibes for her to get better quickly and come home to see you.

  19. 19
    Elizabeth December 19, 2012 at 12:06 pm #

    Wherever her father lives has to have hotels. Frequent flier miles?

    Also have been cleaning manically– but it takes three times as long postsurgery. Really. Some of it is catching up– I used two different cleaning ladies while I was down and neither cleaned satisfactorily. Some of it is I just have to take breaks, darn it all! My bathroom looks awesome….until you get in the tub. So tubscrub is for today.

  20. 20
    NTE December 19, 2012 at 8:55 pm #

    Bah. Humbug. I hope she feels better, and that it’s in time for visiting. Hugs.

  21. 21
    deva at deva by definition December 19, 2012 at 10:52 pm #

    I clean whenever I feel like my world is too crazy. it helps. I hope Chickie can come home for Christmas, Mir. I will be holding you and your girl in the light.

  22. 22
    karen December 20, 2012 at 7:44 am #


    Maybe take a trip up there.

    Sorry Mir, no words of mine are sounding comforting.

  23. 23
    Katie in Cali December 21, 2012 at 11:27 am #

    Every time I see your title, I think of The Princess Bride, “twuuuu luuuuuvv,” from the marriage scene towards the end.

  24. 24
    Daisy December 23, 2012 at 7:43 pm #

    In season, I garden to cope with the world. In winter, it’s harder. Baking helps. I baked bread, made ice cream, and otherwise showed my family how special they are. When I’m ready, I’ll start on the road to action. Gun control? No – appropriate and early recognition and treatment for mental illness.

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