Weekendishly

I always find myself looking forward to the weekend with a fervor that borders on religious, particularly by Thursday or Friday. It’s going to be SO NICE, I think, and I will SLEEP LATE and RELAX and RECHARGE. And then Monday rolls around and I am just as exhausted and cranky as usual. It seems unfair.

[Side note: I did finally make an appointment to see my doctor, on account of recent life stressors do seem to be taking a slight toll on my health, possibly. Weird, right? I mean, who knew that constant months of high stress might make you less than perfectly healthy or something? So I called my doctor in August to mention that hey, um, my hair is falling out, among other things. (Good thing I have a LOT of hair, even in its currently shorn state.) They gave me an appointment in October. I'm hoping to not be completely bald or, you know, DEAD by then.]

Anyway. The weekend. We spent most of Saturday with Chickie, which was lovely, and involved a lot of eating, seems like. (Hey, that Buy One Blizzard Get One For $.99 special at Dairy Queen is not going to EAT ITSELF, man.) (I know; when we take her out of the hospital for the day I always want to feed her something healthy, but then ice cream is the language of love, right? So healthy lunch, ice cream later. It’s a compromise. Sort of.)

We ran some errands and the children marveled over the fact that their feet are now the same size while we tried to find a pair of clearance sandals for Monkey Bigfoot. At one point Monkey insisted that we were not allowed to call him Flipper Foot (as we had his sister when she had her foot growth spurt that he’s having now) because 1) that’s HER name and 2) his feet are far too skinny to be flippers. So we settled on Ski Foot, which delighted him and somewhat confused the rest of us. Though he has a point—his feet are kind of long and skinny. Maybe it’s just the fact that none of us ski, or that trying to picture Monkey skiing just makes me laugh and laugh.

Saturday night we came back home and watched Being Elmo, which was pretty much the warmest, fuzziest, feel-good-iest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Go watch it with your children RIGHT NOW. Monkey scoffed when I suggested it (he’s far too old for Elmo, dontchaknow) but even he really enjoyed it.

On Sunday we had a Hippie School potluck to go to, so while Otto did Manly Outdoor Things (I tell him all the time that I married him for his big… throbbing… LAWNMOWER) Monkey and I made a batch of zucchini brownies. Actually, Monkey made them. I just assisted. And he was FILLED WITH GLEE because 1) BROWNIES! and 2) he spent half the day concocting various plans on how he would tell people they had ZUCCHINI in them… or he would NOT tell them! Or we could make a sign, but then switch it with NORMAL brownies and TRICK people!

I tell you what: that kid makes his own entertainment.

So we went to the potluck, and as I’ve mentioned before, this year Hippie School has a LOT more kids. Between the increased enrollment and the fact that Monkey only goes three days a week, there’s plenty of kids and parents I hadn’t even met before. And of course it’s always entertaining to watch Monkey navigate amongst this group, where he pretty much has the most friends he’s ever had in his life.

Otto and I hung back, watching him flit from here to there, perfectly at ease in a way he never would’ve been just a year ago, and then Marmoset’s family showed up.

Monkey talks about Marmoset a lot, which was already interesting because Marmoset is multiple years younger than Monkey, and my darling son is prone to doing things like referring to the younger kids at school as “annoying midgets.” But “Marmoset is REALLY SMART for a kid his age” and “Marmoset knows a TON of stuff about Minecraft” and “Marmoset and I are working on a D&D campaign” and basically, by the time I met Marmoset, I was expecting him to float on air and have a glass dome where his head should be, containing a glowing, pulsing brain sort of like some sort of science fiction overlord.

But no, Marmoset turns out to be a skinny little kid who pretty much looks like Monkey did at his age. And as soon as his family arrived, the boys sat down and started discussing Minecraft, and I found myself chatting with Marmoset’s parents. They wanted to tell me all about how Marmoset just LOVES Monkey and talks about him ALL THE TIME, how whatever Monkey does, Marmoset wants to do, too. Marmoset is a homeschooled only child, and has never run the public school gauntlet—which means he’s not been diagnosed with anything, because without society trying to stuff him into a particular box for eight hours a day, there’s been no reason to bother with any of that—but if I had to guess… yeeeeeeah… I’d have to say my Aspie-meter pings pretty high with this kid. Needless to say, I adored him immediately.

I finally interrupted the boys to suggest they go RUN and PLAY and ENJOY THE GREAT OUTDOORS, so they got right up from where they were sitting and headed off to the playground. Of course once they got there, they sat right back down underneath the play structure and resumed their discussion. Heh.

Meanwhile Otto and I found ourselves all but grabbing Marmoset’s parents and declaring that we would love them and hug them and call them George, because after we all fumbled through the initial getting-to-know-you stuff and the usual “well we didn’t want a program based on religion… not that there’s anything wrong with that!” sorts of things as we felt out each others’ proclivities, it became clear that THESE WERE OUR PEOPLE. Marmoset’s mom made some comment about how she’s always sticking her foot in her mouth and I was all “OH PLEASE COME SIT WITH ME, SISTER.” They were just completely awesome, so of course it turns out that we drive to Hippie School from one direction and they drive from another and we probably live an hour and a half away from each other.

Eventually it was time to go, and the boys came back around and Monkey crept up behind several people who were eating our brownies and shrieked “YOU’RE EATING ZUCCHINI! HAAAA!” and Marmoset found it hilarious. In other words, a grand time was had by all and it was kind of a bummer to leave.

Both Otto and Monkey are in desperate need of haircuts, so we headed home and I promised to cut their hair. Only… my kit is missing. I have the whole setup—clippers, scissors, a cape—and it’s just gone. We looked for it for a while but eventually I gave up and told Otto I was certain it would come to me in a flash of memory, where I’d put it. I mean, the house is not that big. It’s here SOMEWHERE. (It used to live up in the kids’ bathroom, but during the Remove All The Sharp Things From Easy Access phase we moved it into our room. I’ve cut the boys’ hair twice since then but somehow the kit went MIA since the last time. Puzzling.)

So: no haircuts. I am falling down on my wifely/motherly grooming duties.

But all was not lost in the hair department! I’d spent the day with a scarf tied around my head as a headband—because I’m currently in the grow-out phase where my hair must be contained in some way or small children become frightened—and while sitting on the couch and watching some TV before bed, I’d removed the scarf. What I didn’t realize until we turned off the set and headed in to the bedroom to get ready for bed was that the combination of removing the scarf and then resting my head back against the couch had made the entire front section of my hair stand straight up in the air.

I walked into the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror and LOST IT. I looked exactly like Don King. My hands went up, reflexively, to try to smooth my hair down, but then I noticed Otto standing there, pausing mid-tooth-brushing to chuckle at me laughing at myself, so instead I just ran my hands through my hair backwards to make it stick up even MORE and fluttered my eyelashes at him. “I don’t know how you can keep your hands off of me,” I purred. “You know you want SOME OF THIS! I am a VISION!”

Poor guy nearly choked on his toothpaste. He couldn’t handle the hotness, obviously.

And now it’s Monday and I’m wondering 1) where the dang haircutting kit is hiding, 2) why I am just as tired as I was on Friday and 3) whether or not I should just embrace the Don King look and pretend I totally did it on purpose.

32 Responses to “Weekendishly”

  1. 1
    Tarrant September 17, 2012 at 9:00 am #

    Yay for good weekends!

  2. 2
    elz September 17, 2012 at 9:11 am #

    Hooray! Marmoset and his family sound like good people. Hooray.

  3. 3
    Jen September 17, 2012 at 9:11 am #

    Rock the ‘fro. Own it. ;)
    And then call your doctor back and explain, with little words because I’m not sure they understand the seriousness, that you need help and you need it now and perhaps if the receptionist had an hour you could describe in great detail the pain of the last six months and maybe they could find you a cancellation for this week or something. Yes, I’m a fan of the run on sentence this morning. My dr did that to me last week (calling for depression help), and I’m scheduled for next week. Um, I’m in bad shape NOW, next week just makes it harder when it already took all I had to call in the first place. Yes, I’m calling back today.
    So, call. Please.

  4. 4
    Brigid September 17, 2012 at 9:12 am #

    Feet grow in spurts. Good to know. I was afraid my 8YO daughter would be wearing size 20 by high school.
    Oh, and I think Mondays definitely call for a nap.

  5. 5
    heather September 17, 2012 at 9:14 am #

    LOL, Mir, I just love you So. Much.

    I’m glad to read about a good visit with Chickie, even if it contained 10 billion calories….I think somewhere in the stupid women’s reasoning rules of calories, there is something in there about calories not counting if they are consumed while visiting your loved one who’s suffering. I mean, if they can say things like “Broken cookies don’t have calories” then surely the above is also exempt, lol. Besides, you were balanced with the healthy lunch, then ice cream approach imho.

    Would’ve loved to see you with Don King hair….

  6. 6
    Chuck September 17, 2012 at 9:28 am #

    Even though I’m 6’3″, my feet are still big for my size. Ah well – got to keep those shoe salesmen on their toes! Glad you had a good weekend. I say, go with the Don King look for a few days and see how you like it. :)

  7. 7
    Arnebya September 17, 2012 at 9:49 am #

    My middle daughter, at 9, wears a half size larger than my oldest who is 11. She’s definitely Web Foot (flat and long and it looksl ike her long toes don’t fully separate. Well, ok, they don’t FULLY separate anyway but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN). I am so glad your visit with Chickie went well, so glad you had a good outing with Hippie School, met new people, and tricked them into eating a vegetable.

    Also, your hotness is overwhelming not just to Otto. Ahem. You’re pretty.

    (I called my dr to request an appointment for dizziness and blurred vision and was met with: “Oh, you need to be seen immediately! How’s Wednesday at 8?” Um, it was Monday afternoon).

  8. 8
    Meg September 17, 2012 at 10:03 am #

    I am stealing “You know you want some of this!” and plan to use it the next time I’m suffering from a fashion disaster!

  9. 9
    tarasview September 17, 2012 at 10:44 am #

    this post gave me happy tears.

    Also some sad tears but just because I wish so badly there was a hippie school somewhere near me that I could bring my Aspie son to – the down side of living in Northern Ontario Canada … no hippie school here! I laughed outloud and cried at the same time of your description of Monkey and Marmoset and the mine craft and the brownies etc.. love.

  10. 10
    Rocky Mountain Woman September 17, 2012 at 12:21 pm #

    I would totally embrace it.

    MAKE SURE YOU KEEP THAT DR. APPT YOUNG LADY!

    it’s important…

    xxoo,

    RMW

  11. 11
    suburbancorrespondent September 17, 2012 at 12:44 pm #

    Just go buy a new kit at Target (but keep the receipt); the old one won’t show up until you do.

  12. 12
    karen September 17, 2012 at 2:40 pm #

    What suburban said, probably true.

    A great weekend! Life is good!

  13. 13
    Varda (SquashedMom) September 17, 2012 at 3:05 pm #

    I love that vision of you with the Don King do and I love your son’s school so much it hurts. The vision of him at ease and with friends is so lovely. And I know what you mean about the exhausting weekends. It’s ALL exhausting around here.

  14. 14
    genevieve September 17, 2012 at 3:15 pm #

    Joining you on the Don King ‘do couch. Occasionally my hair decides to go flee my head Kwhile attached) in all directions at once.

    If you haven’t had a thyroid screening, it might be a good idea at your appointment.

  15. 15
    c September 17, 2012 at 3:17 pm #

    it sounds like a lovely weekend… yahoo

  16. 16
    Jeanie September 17, 2012 at 3:53 pm #

    Well, ya know, some people (cough, cough) try to get their hair to stand up but have a problem doing so because of the fine texture and slight curl. So, yay you! Wish you would have taken a picture for us.

    It was good to read that Monkey has so many friends at his new school. And I’m glad you had a good Saturday with Chickie.

  17. 17
    Andrea September 17, 2012 at 3:59 pm #

    One of my best friends in high school was ‘Hot Dog Feet’ due to some unfortunate flats that she adored. Her feet were loooong and skinny, and they did her no favors!
    So glad you had a good weekend! :)

  18. 18
    Kana September 17, 2012 at 4:37 pm #

    Aww, you have found your People, and they are Simians! Such social grooming there shall be :)

  19. 19
    erika September 17, 2012 at 4:54 pm #

    hahahahahaha!
    thank you for a genuine laugh out loud moment.
    i am so glad that you had good laughing moments this past weekend. ski foot.

  20. 20
    diane September 17, 2012 at 6:47 pm #

    There was a girl in school we used to tease about her very large feet by yelling “(kid’s name)! Lend me your shoe! I need a canoe!”
    Thankfully she took it very good-naturedly and laughed as well.
    Hooray for a nice weekend and the new friends at hippie school. :) And Don King hair. And zucchini.

  21. 21
    Melissa September 17, 2012 at 7:02 pm #

    What a coincidence! My blog post today was about hair too!
    I love your blog and look forward to reading about your family every day. Keep your head up, and just put one foot in front of the other.
    Much love and hugs.
    Melissa

  22. 22
    addy September 17, 2012 at 8:43 pm #

    Don King Hair – check
    Primate similarities – check
    Essential ice cream for well-being – check
    Nap time – oh hells yeah

  23. 23
    matinyoupi September 18, 2012 at 2:56 am #

    Stressed, Tired, Cranky, Hair loss: time for a thyroid check.

  24. 24
    Deb September 18, 2012 at 5:19 am #

    OMG!
    “I don’t know how you can keep your hands off of me,” I purred. “You know you want SOME OF THIS! I am a VISION!”

    I can SEE it!!! You never cease to make me laugh!
    So glad you had a great weekend.

  25. 25
    s September 18, 2012 at 5:58 am #

    Sounds like just the kind of weekend you needed!! And Don King…Whatta look!!!

  26. 26
    Korinthia Klein September 18, 2012 at 6:44 am #

    Your weekend doesn’t sound restful, but does sound fun. And I want to go to Hippie School.

  27. 27
    brigitte September 18, 2012 at 7:08 am #

    Hey, if you can’t laugh at your own hair disasters, then you’ll break!

    I think that I’m more amused than I should be over all the primate nicknames you use for the boy-children.

  28. 28
    zchamu September 18, 2012 at 9:01 am #

    You sound good. Even if it’s just a little bit of good, that’s good. I approve. :)

  29. 29
    Nancy September 18, 2012 at 5:25 pm #

    I look forward to every weekend like that, too. Then at 6:30 am on Saturday I am reminded that I have 2 early rising toddlers. And a husband who is in school full-time in addition to a full-time job. So then I start looking forward to Tuesday when I get to go to work again. And by Wednesday I am looking forward to the weekend again. You’d think I would learn.

    Yay for Hippie potlucks, ice-cream, and zucchini brownies! And Marmoset!

  30. 30
    Mame September 20, 2012 at 9:20 am #

    Thanks for the Being Elmo reminder. I meant to see it when it came out and then promptly forgot. I’m visiting my daughter and we enjoyed it last night. Thanks again!

  31. 31
    Linda Sherwood September 20, 2012 at 11:53 am #

    I totally wanted a photo of the Don King fro.

  32. 32
    mamaspeak September 21, 2012 at 12:31 am #

    Don King fro = pix or it didn’t happen ;-) PLEASE!!!

    I’m on the get the thyroid test bandwagon as well. (Are you sleeping very well? Poor sleep + high stress can equal things like hair loss. And don’t ask Dr. Google about it, just get your doctor to run some tests pronto.)

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