Unintended repercussions

I would say that first and foremost, I am the queen of unintentionally sticking my foot into my giant mouth. I am forever saying things I should not, and I really don’t even have the excuse of being stupid. I’m not stupid. My mouth just happens to work faster than my brain. And in a somewhat related vein, despite being something of a planner—some might even say a neurotic, perfectionist one, at that—I am often queen of choosing a course of action without fully understanding ALL of the ramifications.

The saddest part is that it’s invariably something where I feel so PLEASED with whatever I’ve done right up until I realize I’ve completely screwed myself. Accidentally.

Example the first: Granted, I was sort of having a hissy fit when I wrote it, but this post? Appears to have cost me a dear friend. Which sucks.

Example the second: While deep down I thought I was being kind of brilliant, taking away my daughter’s bedroom door, once again I only proved that my capacity for the long view is somewhat myopic.

What’s that, you say? You say I should’ve known better in the first example and what in the world am I talking about for the second? Well.

Remember Licorice? Licorice is awesome. Licorice also sleeps with Chickadee, except that with no door, the dog has wisely decided there is no reason to stay in her room. And as noted previously, allowing her to sleep with Chickadee has ruined her for sleeping in her crate.

Yes. Yes, this is a story of how we’re completely at the mercy of a 12-pound dog. Shut up.

So, the thing about Licorice is that if she wants to get into our room when the door is closed, she doesn’t bark or whine or anything. That would be annoying, but I believe I could eventually tune that out if I really tried. No, if Licorice has been closed out of our room and wants in, she commences bodyslamming the HANDLE until her needs are met. That is to say, she doesn’t just ram the door—she LEAPS INTO THE AIR and THEN rams into the door.

It sounds like the Mongol hordes have arrived, is my point.

She can’t sleep with Chickadee, because there’s no door to keep her in. She can’t sleep with Monkey, because I still worry about the height of his bed and the fierceness of his flailing, and the safety of all involved. So she’s back in with us.

To be perfectly clear: My child misbehaved, and in a move that I thought was totally clever and logical, I made sure that my husband and I have to fight for the covers, tune out the dulcet tones of incessant nighttime licking, and forget about doing anything other than sleeping in that bed until this punishment is over. I AM SO SMART.

Licorice, however, thinks this is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to her. Every night she wedges herself between Otto and me and licks and licks to her heart’s content while we yell at her to stop. Then she spends the wee hours draping herself over our feet and our necks, alternately. Finally, when the alarm goes off after that super-restful night’s sleep, there’s nothing better than whacking the alarm clock, turning over, and… having a tongue jammed into your eyeball. Except (possibly) being the OTHER person in the bed, who gets a waggy tail up the nose while your eyeball is being violated.

Note to self: Stop doing stuff until you can better suss out the causal relationship between actions and consequences. Love, Me.

[Edited to add: I do not think y’all understand the impressiveness of Licorice’s vertical leap. The baby gate idea is a great one except I would need to stack THREE OF THEM to make it work. Heh.]

76 Responses to “Unintended repercussions”

  1. 1
    Sabrina D March 30, 2011 at 2:02 pm #

    Can you try baby gates to keep Licorice in? You can stack 2 high if you’re worried she’ll jump them and it maintains the lack of privacy that Chickadee hasn’t earned back yet? Plus bonus points for driving the kid nuts having to put them up and down!

  2. 2
    Donna March 30, 2011 at 2:03 pm #

    Crate in Chickie’s room…

  3. 3
    Scottsdale Girl March 30, 2011 at 2:05 pm #

    Yep Baby gates.

  4. 4
    Little Bird March 30, 2011 at 2:07 pm #

    I really like Sabrina’s suggestion.

  5. 5
    jennamom2boys March 30, 2011 at 2:09 pm #

    Dude. So, so sorry to hear that sharing your feelings honestly cost you a friend. FWIW, I 90% agreed with you, but I do find it a bit comforting to think about how good/easy I have it by comparison (after as much wallowing as I want or need to do, which most of the time isn’t much, thanks to Lexapro and a fantastic and supportive special ed dept at my son’s school. And the occasional medicinal jigger of Absolut.) It’s good to have people in my life that get it.

  6. 6
    Aimee March 30, 2011 at 2:09 pm #

    I like the baby gates solutions, too! Because yeah, the lack of sleep and surplus of tongues-in-eyeballs and/or tails-in-noses could get to be a bit much after, oh, a single night.

    I’m really sorry about the other thing, and don’t really have anything to suggest. Maybe he/she will cool down and reconsider? I know you were upset when you wrote that post, but I hope the friend will be able to get past it.

  7. 7
    Javamom March 30, 2011 at 2:10 pm #

    Parenting is such joy. Reactions and consequences….

    lol

    I TOO am on this never-ending yoyo-ing of parenting where my reactions to some stupid crap are way out of control and not at all suitable for small children to witness all the while I preach to them that we do THIS when someone does THAT to you and not copy mommy’s reaction when she is in a bad mood. And you do not call someone an a__hole either because he’s too ignorant to move the truck so I can get OUT of the parking lot…my own gigantic mouth not only labeled the idiot in question at the top of my lungs in front of the kids, but my mother was sitting beside me in the van.

    huh.

    And then I have insomnia running the scene over and over in my head and kicking myself for setting such crappy example of parenting which makes my moods even, um…swingier.

    argh

    But Licorice? Incessant licking? Eyeball abuse??

    LOL

  8. 8
    Mama Bear March 30, 2011 at 2:13 pm #

    The eyeball licking/tailwagging in the face image was awesome. Thanks for the giggle!
    Sorry about the friend. I admire the your fortitude with the door though!

  9. 9
    MamaChristy March 30, 2011 at 2:14 pm #

    All I have to say is that you deserve to have people in your corner. And if the people in your corner are telling you to suck it up and aren’t being helpful? Well, maybe it’s the right thing for them to head to another corner. And I’m so sorry it hurts.

  10. 10
    kat March 30, 2011 at 2:14 pm #

    We have a pet gate that is pressure mounted in the doorway but then has a door in he middle so you can walk through without having to move the gate. It keeps my 80lb puppy in place (although he could probably step over the gate without much effort. )

    I’m sorry about your friend. I think a heart to heart wih a bottle of wine is in order.

  11. 11
    Bridget March 30, 2011 at 2:15 pm #

    If the baby gate idea is too challenging/bothersome, how about temporarily installing a cheap wood screen door on her room? Still completely see through but operates with a more normal door action.

  12. 12
    Emily in IL March 30, 2011 at 2:17 pm #

    two words: baby gate. $10 at Walmart or Target will get you your basic pressure mount one.

  13. 13
    Mamadragon March 30, 2011 at 2:19 pm #

    I too have a 12-pound dog who LOVES LOVES LOVES to sleep with us. He has recently taken to hiding out with the children until the reading light goes off in our room, and then under the cover of darkness he stealthily worms his way into the warm spot between our bodies. He then proceeds to hog the covers all night and makes me wake up with an allergy-induced sinus headache.

    He does go in the crate when the bedroom is going to be used for something, um, athletic. And whenever we catch him on our bed. He doesn’t like it, hence the sneaky nighttime behaviour, but you know, tough crap. I have found that the occasional treat buried in the blankets at the bottom of the crate goes a long way to making him more eager to get in the crate.

    As for the friend – I’m sorry. I thought that post was well-written and not accusatory, but maybe the person in question had a guilty conscience. Maybe she’ll come around after a little cooling-off period.

  14. 14
    Beth March 30, 2011 at 2:19 pm #

    Mir, I’m wondering where I can send the bill for my new monitor? I think it’s only fair that you pay for the replacement because you ruined the first one by causing me to spit coffee all over it. Or perhaps just send Licorice here to lick it all up. Dog slobbers make everything better, no?

  15. 15
    Karen March 30, 2011 at 2:19 pm #

    Dear You – do you have a baby gate hanging around? You can get them real cheap at the Salvation army or second hand stores, etc… put it in doorway of Chick’s room, problem solved….and you can do more than sleep in your bed again.. or atleast sleep without licking and draping. And that sounds really bad, but I’m leaving it. You’re welcome.

  16. 16
    MaryP March 30, 2011 at 2:23 pm #

    Have you ever read the Dave Barry piece on his editor’s dog, Augie? If not, seek it out. You will Love! It!

  17. 17
    Jan March 30, 2011 at 2:26 pm #

    May I combine the two topics?

    We have a 70-pound German Shorthair Pointer who believes the only appropriate place for a dog of his import to sleep is UNDER the covers in our bed.

    So what I’m saying is, your dog problem could be worse. Maybe you should keep that in mind.

    :)

  18. 18
    navhelowife March 30, 2011 at 2:27 pm #

    Baby Gates. They contain my two boxer/hound puppies quite well, actually.

  19. 19
    Janine March 30, 2011 at 2:35 pm #

    We are all our own worst enemy! I like the idea of the baby gate, they work wonders. As for losing a “friend”, sounds as if they could dish it but not take it. Friends should be able to say how they feel. Doesn’t seem to me like you lost a real friend. Hopefully it’s just a bruised ego for you calling them out. Hang in there!

  20. 20
    amy March 30, 2011 at 2:43 pm #

    Yep, I agree with pp; baby gates to keep her in Chickadee’s room, or go through a few nights of hell and re-crate train her. I, personally, wouldn’t have a dog in my bed; ours sleeps on a dog bed on the floor.

  21. 21
    The Mommy Therapy March 30, 2011 at 2:47 pm #

    Scatter dog treats all throughout Chickadee’s bed right before you go to bed. That way Licorice will spend all night digging and squirming into her bed instead of snuggling with you and Otto. This could be part two of her punishment.

    Though, perhaps an overtired Chickadee might be another element of punishment for you? Maybe baby gates are the solution as everyone said.

    I can’t believe (and am so sorry) that your relationship with a dear friend has been negatively affected by Hardship Olympics. I loved that post and think of it often. It actually really helped me through a time when I was feeling really guilty for some of my “hardships.” I actually had someone reference it in one of my blog comments as the go to source on not judging other people’s bad days, etc.

    So, I know it probably doesn’t help, but it was a fantastic post and I am really glad you wrote it, just sorry it made something else tough.

    Good luck with your doggy sleep!

  22. 22
    Headless Mom March 30, 2011 at 2:56 pm #

    That post was brilliant. I’m sorry that it may have ended a friendship. I shared it with my friends…one specifically because she was playing it with me (unintentionally) and I said that we all have our stuff…

    I’m not trying to make this about me, sorry. I just wanted you to know that it helped. Not just me, but way beyond your rant it contained a lot of truth.

  23. 23
    Flea March 30, 2011 at 2:58 pm #

    Sounds like you’re royally screwed. Wow. I’m still all for taking that door off the hinges, though. You rock, sleep-deprived Mir.

  24. 24
    Christina March 30, 2011 at 3:09 pm #

    If your post truly cost you a friend, perhaps they weren’t such a good friend anyways. We all have our moments when we may not agree with a friend, but the whole point of a friendship is to accept and support each other, even with your differences. I’m sorry you lost a friend, and I hope you don’t get an infection from the dog tongue in the eyeball thing. :)

  25. 25
    Melody March 30, 2011 at 3:17 pm #

    I do not allow my cats to sleep in my bedroom. They used to claw at the door in an attempt to get me to open it. They hated the vacuum cleaner, with a capitol H! So I would tiptoe to the door where I had placed the vacuum on my side of the door, and plug it in. It would roar to life, and they would take off downstairs. I only had to do it a few times for them to be retrained, and I didn’t feel too guilty because they had no idea that “I” was doing it. Is Licorice afraid of the vacuum? Would your kids/husband be apalled at your scare tactics?

    I feel for you because sleep for me is top of the list for having a good day.

  26. 26
    Katie in MA March 30, 2011 at 3:26 pm #

    I was going to suggest putting up a baby gate in Chickie’s room, but it sounds like she might be able to leave over that!

  27. 27
    Debbi March 30, 2011 at 3:33 pm #

    HAAAA!!! I spit out my tea at the “shut up” part!

    First, so sorry about the dear friend. But a true friend can get upset at times but always comes back :-)

    And the whole thing with licorice reminds me of my doggy and just makes me laugh so hard!! Yeah, baby gates would never work unless you went to the top of the door!

    Good luck!

  28. 28
    Sharon March 30, 2011 at 3:38 pm #

    I wondered about what happened with your friend(s) after your post, which I thought was heartfelt and well written. Nine years ago I was honest with my best friend, who knew she could always count on me but somehow I often wound up at the bottom of her list. She didn’t disagree when I shared how much that hurt, but she didn’t offer to do anything differently either, so I let go of our friendship. We touched base with each other a few times a year after that for two and a half years. Then she needed me in her life and, because she knew she could always count on me, she called and asked me to forgive her. I told her I’d always love her and would always be there for her, which I was. It was a hard lesson for both of us; sometimes we have to be honest with ourselves and those who mean the most to us.

  29. 29
    RuthWells March 30, 2011 at 3:47 pm #

    Ooh boy. I’m sorry about the friend travails — perhaps a cooling off period will help the situation? Sucks, either way.

    At least you’re getting plenty of eyeball sex….

  30. 30
    jami March 30, 2011 at 3:53 pm #

    No advice whatsoever, as sadly, we sleep with a neurotic shih-tzu who has the incessant licking disorder as well. She licks the couch, she licks the bed, she’ll lick you…. lick lick lick. Also, she’s old, has one eye, and is mostly deaf, so shouting stop licking! gets you nowhere. And if you reach over to gently pat her and tell her to stop, she acts like you sneaked up on her and tried to give her a heart attack, and you just feel bad. So, yeah. Shih-tzus. Can’t live with ’em, but they’re cute as hell.

  31. 31
    Ani March 30, 2011 at 4:14 pm #

    Licorice would be hilarious if it weren’t so horribly frustrating to go through life with no sleep!

    Here’s hoping Chickie straightens out in a hurry so the door can come back.

  32. 32
    Karyn March 30, 2011 at 4:18 pm #

    I haven’t posted for a while, but i read all the time. I have to agree that if they weren’t going to be there sticking up for you (the friend) and helping you out by being in your corner its best they are in the other. If they can’t be honest with you when you are being honest with everyone then whats the point of carrying on a charade?

    with Chickie i totally get where both you and her are coming from! I gave my mom and dad hell for a good solid 5 years. I was a brain. I had endless potential. I screamed, i yelled, i slammed doors, i cried, i cursed. It was BAD. I lost my door several times. If the worst that happens is that you sleep with the dog now you’re getting off easy. I blasted punk music (since there was no door to keep the noise in) and talked on the phone endlessly until i had to have that taken away too.

    It wasn’t until many many years later that i ended up becoming very good friends with my parents. So there is hope yet for her! Being a teen sucks. Just as much as being a mom of a teen sucks. One thing that will be invaluable for her though is knowing that she can trust you and come to you with absolutely anything no matter how bad it might be. :)

  33. 33
    Lisa March 30, 2011 at 4:23 pm #

    And the baby gate would give a subliminal message to the teenager. (acting like a baby). Maybe a laundry basket in front of the baby gate, so L has more trouble leaping it?

  34. 34
    Angela March 30, 2011 at 4:26 pm #

    My little poodle likes to sleep in the bed with us, but she also has her own lil’ doggy bed next to ours, under my nightstand. We kick her out if she’s being licky/wiggly/annoying and she goes to sleep in her own bed. It works well for us, maybe you can train her to her own bed.

    So sorry about your friend. People are hard to understand sometimes, aren’t they? I had a best friend years ago who sent me an email ranting about what a loser my boyfriend was (we’ve been married now for 5 years and he’s fantastic), and even though I calmly explained: 1) I didn’t appreciate her tone and 2) she did not have factual information about the situation she was speaking of because she heard it secondhand from someone else, and 3) I told her the truth about that situation, she still quit talking to me! I even handled it appropriately and with compassion for her feelings, and I still lost! I later figured out that she only was friends with people whose lives were peachy keen, and apparently I wasn’t peachy enough for her anymore. Nice, huh? Oh well, you never can tell what people will do.

    To me, it seems that friends come and go in cycles in my life, very few are for a lifetime.

  35. 35
    Daisy March 30, 2011 at 4:26 pm #

    I was about to suggest the baby gate, too, but that’s not going to help in your case. We actually have a door tipped on its side to keep one pet rabbit from another. Trust me, you won’t want it to be permanent. It may last until Chickie earns her door back.

  36. 36
    getsheila March 30, 2011 at 4:26 pm #

    How about installing a simple screen door? Forgive me if someone already mentioned it. You are too popular for me to read through ALL of your comments. :) It may also be some form of passive/aggressive punishment for not telling us what she did to earn the punishment, which I know you can’t, but I’M STILL DYING TO KNOW.

  37. 37
    Tenessa March 30, 2011 at 4:38 pm #

    Crate, ftw! If Licorice becomes too vocal about that, put the crate in the bathroom and shut the door (perhaps the one across the house). It won’t take long for Licorice to reacclimate to a night in the crate.

  38. 38
    bonuela March 30, 2011 at 4:45 pm #

    i’m sorry about your friend. based on the number of comments on that post, she is clearly outnumbered. although now she can add losing you to her list of woes. that should be worth at least a 9.5 from the german judge.

    p.s. i’ve heard that doggie saliva is excellent for dry eyeballs. maybe those contacts will work after all!!

  39. 39
    MomCat March 30, 2011 at 4:55 pm #

    It’s a proven fact that dogs lick louder at night. I’d guess it’s equivalent in decibel level to a jet engine. Cats also purr louder, but at least it’s closer to background noise.

  40. 40
    Amy Kate March 30, 2011 at 4:56 pm #

    The sleep licking is obviously a small poodle mix thing, because our maltipoo does the same thing. He also nips if you move around too much. One thing I have discovered about him is that even though he can jump HIGH he doesn’t realize he can jump over a baby gate since he’s never seen us over step one or been lifted over it.

  41. 41
    Stimey March 30, 2011 at 4:56 pm #

    Dogs ruin everything.

  42. 42
    Lynn in Mass March 30, 2011 at 5:13 pm #

    I too am very guilty of open mouth and insert foot. I hope after awhile your friend calls and you two can work it out.
    My hubby and I used 2 baby gates when we first got out cat to keep him downstairs in our house. We took them down after we saw that he climbed up and over. I’m guessing it would be more difficult for a dog to get over 2 gates though.
    Good Luck!

  43. 43
    Christine March 30, 2011 at 5:41 pm #

    I come from the other camp. The “I’m so petrified of offending someone I’ll think through all possible repercussions before I say a bloody word” camp. It’s no picnic there either.

  44. 44
    Jean March 30, 2011 at 5:50 pm #

    Yeah, that whole punishment thing always manages to come back and bite us parents in the backside somehow. No TV for a week! Now I have to listen to the child whine about what he’s supposed to do instead. Door off hinges! Child figures “it can’t get much worse, I might as well pull out all the stops.” You’re grounded! Now child is home all. the. time.

    It’s no win when you parent. The best we can hope for is to come out without too many scars on either parent or child.

    I have found that giving writing assignments to the child in trouble often gets them to think (at least a little) about the problem at hand. And it’s good stuff that you can pull out years later and read at family gatherings, too.

    Love your description of (not) sleeping with the dog… Quite the wordsmith you are, Mir.

  45. 45
    Shannon March 30, 2011 at 6:12 pm #

    Do you still have a baby gate left over from years gone past? Block puppy in the room, yet child doesn’t gain a door.

  46. 46
    Crystal March 30, 2011 at 6:14 pm #

    What is it with animals and their incessant licking! One of my two cats who sleeps with me everynight (and I should mention that not only does she sleep with me but will sit on my night stand stareing at me until I fold the covers back on her side of the bed) will wait about an hour after the TV has turned off for her nightly bath. And it goes on, and on, and on, and on….until I can’t take it anymore! No amount of reasoning with her works. The only thing that seems to work is if I blow on her. (Get your mind out of the gutter) I get up close and personal (seriously, out of the gutter) and blow on her nose, big huge gusts, until she stops licking. Usually this can go on for a bit, I blow, she stops, I stop, she starts again, I blow, she stops, I stop, she starts again, yada yada, but eventually she will stop and go to sleep. It’s finally gettting to where I just have to do it once or twice and put my head down on my pillow and she will follow suit. The things we do for our pets. :)

  47. 47
    Jeanie March 30, 2011 at 6:36 pm #

    I understand Licorice’s leap and door-slamming perfectly. A friend of mine has a bull terrier who body slams everything. He fractured his leg doing this. He had a very nice neon green cast for quite a while.

  48. 48
    Chris March 30, 2011 at 6:40 pm #

    I’m just waiting for that friend to apologize to you first. Then you can say you’re sorry you hurt her feelings or whatever. But honestly, you deserve an apology.

  49. 49
    All Adither March 30, 2011 at 7:38 pm #

    Oh no. I hope you and your friend can move past this.

  50. 50
    Cele March 30, 2011 at 8:05 pm #

    I can imagine walking up in the middle of the night to the clatter of three baby gates crashing down around one fore said fiest mutt trying to get out.

    Good luck.

  51. 51
    Lara March 30, 2011 at 8:07 pm #

    I agree with MamaChristy and Jean. And I thought that post was excellent and a good reminder too on how to listen empathically. I hope you find a solution to the sleep problem!

  52. 52
    elz March 30, 2011 at 8:26 pm #

    I was thinking baby gate, but then I saw that won’t work. Damn, held hostage by a dog.

    I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but if someone is stonewalling or pissed off at you for your post well, then she either is very short sighted, extremely selfish, or looking for a reason to blame someone else for her problem(s). You’re better off. Maybe a new friend will buy you a drink or seven when she sees you in April?! ;)

  53. 53
    Debra March 30, 2011 at 9:09 pm #

    Love the screen door idea. I’m lucky that the lady who first owned our dog crate trained her well. All I have to say is “Izzy, bed” and she hops right off the couch and goes to her crate. And if she’s really tired she’ll go to her crate on her own. :)

    I’m sorry expressing your feelings has cost you a friend. That sucks hugely.

  54. 54
    Tara@DoTheseKidsMakeMeLookCrazy? March 30, 2011 at 10:04 pm #

    I seriously hate getting licked by animals first thing in the morning. It’s not like they’re immune from morning breath or anything. Plus, the whole dog-breath issue in general isn’t fun.

    And about the friend . . . I have no words of wisdom, but I do have sympathy. I’m sure that you will handle it with the grace and dignity that you do everything else.

  55. 55
    Brigitte March 31, 2011 at 7:12 am #

    A true friend would not have been so offended by the truth that she wouldn’t return to you. If she’s that offended, she wasn’t a real friend.

    As for Licorice . . . I got nuthin’.

  56. 56
    Joshilyn March 31, 2011 at 8:34 am #

    Bagel can get out of/over/through baby gates—but he doesn’t. He knows the gate means DO NOT PASS GO. We don;t even attach it anymore. We just lean it on the forbidden doorway and he does not go through.

    If you can train the dog to SNEEZE, you can train her to know what the gat emeans and obey it.

  57. 57
    Nancy March 31, 2011 at 9:27 am #

    I’m sorry about your friend. Even though you can feel justified that you were right, it’s still painful to have a falling out with a close friend. I hope she has a change of heart.

    And my sympathy for the Licorice situation. I used to have a 20 pound nocturnal cat who wanted to “sleep” in my bed at night. She jumped on the bed, off the bed, on the bed, off the bed… She licked, slurped, slurp, slurp, licked. She sat on my head, draped her hot slurping self across my chest. Arrgggg. I finally started locking her in the bathroom at night and turning a fan on full blast in my room to drown out her yowling. My sister won the Hardship Olympics on that one hands down, though. When she was 10 our family cat gave birth to 7 kittens in her bed…on her pillow…while she was sleeping. That’s right, the cat gave birth ON HER HEAD!

    As for backfiring punishments, I look forward to using my mom’s wisdom one day. She quickly learned that grounding us didn’t work when we were kids because we were just underfoot and messed up the house. Instead, when she got tired of our fighting and bickering, she REVERSE grounded us. We were only allowed to go into our house for meals and then bedtime! We truly felt punished by having to play outside all day!

    Here’s hoping you get some sleep tonight!

  58. 58
    Amelia March 31, 2011 at 9:50 am #

    Gosh, I’m really sorry to hear about your friend. But if s/he was *that* offended by it, then maybe it was something that needed to be said. In my experience, the comments that hurt the worst are the ones that I know to be true.

    And as for the door…well, all actions have unintended consequences. You can’t beat yourself up for that. You can be sleepless, sure, but don’t beat yourself up for it :).

    [On a side note, my mom — the woman who refused to ground us because she said grounding was just as much a punishment for the parent as the child — was a BIG believer in taking the door off the hinges. Only she preferred not telling the child ahead of time, so that the next time the door was slammed, it would fall off its hinges. My mother, she is an evil genius. Strict. And all four of us turned out pretty well, if I do say so.]

  59. 59
    AngstyJen March 31, 2011 at 10:16 am #

    I’m a big foot-in-mouth girl myself…and I’m not even that talkative! So my regular conversation-to-stupid-statement ratio is really terrible.

    I’m sorry about the friend…it sounds like maybe your post struck too close to home. I hope things work out for the best.

  60. 60
    JennyM March 31, 2011 at 10:40 am #

    Wow, Jean’s comment just gave me a flashback — I had completely forgotten this, but I distinctly remember having to do research projects as punishment. As in: in your room with the encyclopedia, here’s a snack, don’t come out until you have X amount of words on the life cycle of the frog. Have fun! You father and I will be outside enjoying this nice sunny Saturday afternoon. Bloody brilliant, if you ask me. I haaaaaaated it, but it wasn’t ever like it was undeserved.

    Also, whoever suggested the screen door? I kind of want a screen door in my house now. Hmmmm…..

    Friend troubles suck, though. I’m sorry.

  61. 61
    Debbi March 31, 2011 at 10:54 am #

    OMG!! Jean #44 comment is AWESOME!!! A writing assignment as a punishment? Haaaaa I can’t wait to use that one. Thanks Jean!

  62. 62
    Rachel March 31, 2011 at 12:02 pm #

    I hear you on sleeping with a pet (we have 2 cats). If we shut our door they attack it & it sounds like the swat team is trying to break in. = ) Sorry about the friendship thing. Maybe not such a good friend if she’s upset about a POST that expresses your feelings? Sucks though. Hugs from dreary, cloudy, snowy but warm (shut up! 38 degrees! IS warm (it’s all perspecitve)) North Dakota.

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    Kim March 31, 2011 at 12:09 pm #

    This is sort of funny and sad at the same time. I’ve often thought some of these punishments are harder on the adults than the kids. That’s a conversation for another day. But what was making me laugh here, was the first thing I thought of when you wrote your post about the door removal, was oh no what about Licorice.

    Good luck – I bet you’ll all survive. Perhaps with some bags under the eyes.

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    Lulu March 31, 2011 at 12:44 pm #

    Aw, Mir, condolences on the collateral damage. I hate it when a lesson I’ve prepped for someone else turns into a lesson back at me.

    As for the dog sleep problem, I once had a hard-hearted, desperate moment with a new puppy who would not sleep in a crate or with anyone or at any time at night. WHINE, whine, whine, OMG. Finally I put her in her crate IN THE CLOSET farthest from my room because I figured she could whine all she wanted but I wouldn’t hear it. The next morning I was sure she’d been quiet because she was, you know, DEAD from stress or suffocation.Turns out she liked it all cozy & quiet in there.

    Hang in there! Here’s hoping for some unintended Bonus somewhere, somehow — soon!

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    zobabe March 31, 2011 at 2:31 pm #

    I tried closing the door on my cats to keep from sharing the bed. They finally figured out that reaching under the door and clawing incessantly wasn’t getting them anywhere, and all was quiet for a while. Then somebody learned to pull up the a/c grate in other rooms and travel thru the ductwork instead, so I have been thwarted. Thoroughly.

    As for the friend, that is exactly why I don’t have anybody with whom I share my whole heart anymore. I have several close friends, but no one I trust enough to give all. It’s easier (if more destructive eventually) to just smile and pretend.

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    Chuck March 31, 2011 at 3:17 pm #

    I don’t know, it’s time for tough love, I think. Put her in the crate, close it, and put it somewhere that you can’t hear the whining. You might feel bad but you’ll feel bad while being properly rested. (I have had a small adorable dog in the past so I know this is not an easy option.)

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    Jenni March 31, 2011 at 4:20 pm #

    Put a screen door on Chickadee’s room. My parents did that to me in high school when they realized I was calling boys. :)

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    ben March 31, 2011 at 4:35 pm #

    Dammit Augie, go to sleep!

    (I am so glad I’m not the only person to remember that classic)

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    sarah March 31, 2011 at 5:18 pm #

    would a screen door work? when i was growing up, we had a screen door on the den so that we could keep the dog out but not have the room totally shut off from the rest of the house (and thus the den, with its big tv, remained an acceptable place for me to hang out with my boyfriend)

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    Heather Cook March 31, 2011 at 5:40 pm #

    Sorry about the friend issue, that sucks :(

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    Melanie March 31, 2011 at 11:00 pm #

    We have an 8lb shorkie who sleeps with us. He often tried to get to personal so we put a leash attatched at the foot of the bed with enough room to move around and be comfy but not lick eyeballs! Might work to keep him on Chickies bed as well??? Just a thought. Good Luck!

    I like the screen door Idea as well!!!!

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    ChrisinNY April 1, 2011 at 10:12 am #

    Instead of taking away the door on daughter’s bedroom- we took away her room. She had to take pillow and blankets and sleep on the floor of the family for week. All electicity/electronics were off limits including lights so when it got dark she was not able to read. It worked…..

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    Stephanie April 2, 2011 at 12:57 pm #

    Many years ago, I lost someone I considered to be a good friend, when I was honest with her. While I was sorry I had upset her, I was more upset to find that our friendship was that fragile and, ultimately, unimportant enough to her to try to work through it.

    I believe a *true* friend will ultimately try to work through misunderstandings. I don’t know if that is the case for you and your “friend”, and I don’t know if my perspective will bring you any peace about the situation, but I hope it will help, at least a little.

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    Sara April 5, 2011 at 4:55 pm #

    I have been reading your blog for a while, and I can’t believe what is prompting me to comment is the mention of incessant nighttime licking. My dog does not even sleep in my room and in the wee hours of the night, when all else is quiet, I can hear that sound from a floor away–ugh. I sympathize! (Honestly, there have been times I thought of commenting in the past, but sometimes I am behind on blog reading and I feel like the moment has passed… maybe it has for this post too!).

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    Pamela L April 7, 2011 at 7:26 pm #

    I feel your pain – I have a small chihuahua mix that stands outside the door and whines. I thought I could ignore her but she gets louder and louder until she’s screeching if you ignore her – still love my dogs with all my heart though ~

    Hope you can work out your issues with your friend – I’m sorry about that but you post was right on in my opinion.

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