Waylaid

I had so many exciting things to tell you about today, like that the Great Scrabble Wars are alive and well (in case you were wondering, HOMEY is acceptable, but HOMEYLIT as the genre that results from rappers writing books is—for some reason—not) and that we’ve already nearly demolished the leftovers from the Super Bowl party, but I’m afraid that will all have to wait. My folks are getting ready to leave and head back up north this morning, and not a moment too soon.

(No, not because we want them gone. For their own safety.)

When my alarm went off this morning, I was in that place of deep, deep sleep where the alarm first incorporated itself into the dream I was having (I was in the university dining hall and my account was overdue, but I was REALLY HUNGRY) and then finally woke me, flailing and confused.

I lay back down for a minute trying to get my bearings and shake off the dream. Once I felt like I was truly awake, I headed upstairs.

While my parents have been here, they’ve been in Chickadee’s room and she has been temporarily bunking in the playroom that leads into Monkey’s room. So I opened the door to the playroom, flipped on the light, continued through to Monkey’s room, got him up, then came back through the playroom and woke Chickadee. Neither child is a morning person, so I didn’t find it surprising when both of them greeted me with nothing more than stretching and grunting. “Everyone up?” I asked, before heading back down the stairs.

“Mmmph,” they replied.

Satisfied, I went down to the kitchen, turned the lights on, and continued on into the office to check my email.

A minute later, Monkey appeared, bearing the missive every parent dreads:

“Chickie says she thinks she’s gonna throw up.”

I ran back up the stairs. Chickadee was huddled in the bathroom, clearly Not Having A Good Morning. (Does it make me a bad mother that my first thought was “Oh crap, did I kiss her on the mouth?”) I stayed with her for a minute and then came back downstairs to bleach my mouth and hands fetch her a bucket, and I was back upstairs just in time to hold her hair back. Lucky me!

Oh, there is nothing more pitiful than a child with a stomach bug. NOTHING.

So. Um. All my plans for today—the stuff that seemed important, a couple of hours ago, the catching up I’d finally be able to do now that my parents are leaving—well, I can kiss those goodbye. Preferably on the cheek, so as to avoid the spread of any more germs.

Chickadee is now resting comfortably in the big bed. Otto didn’t seem completely sold on this course of events, but I explained that the ONLY benefit of being sick is getting to rest in Mama’s bed. And also that I’d tucked her in with her own pillow, stuffed bear, and a bucket.

Monkey was fine this morning, but I don’t expect THAT to last. When something like this happens, I just go on high alert until everyone has fallen. You know it’s inevitable and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it except wait and stock up on Lysol.

But yesterday Chickadee’s new glasses FINALLY arrived. After searching high and low the only frame we’d found that we both sort of agreed on was this ridiculously-named Disney frame (remember? princess sparkle pretty pants?) only carried by the most expensive shop in town, so I’d ordered it for her online from someplace a little cheaper. Apparently they broke a lens while making them, and also they were made by a single wizened troll who lives under a bridge in Iowa, because it took a MONTH for them to show up. By the time the UPS man dropped them off, yesterday, Chickadee had become convinced they were NEVER coming, and it was SO! EXCITING! to finally have them.

Let me tell you something. I knew something was seriously wrong when we opened the box and instead of a glasses CASE, the glasses came in what appears to be a little PURSE. A plastic-and-velvet purse, yes, that says DISNEY PRINCESS on the side in CRYSTALS.

Thank goodness the glasses are just normal glasses, but I suppose I can’t pretend to be surprised that there’s barfing happening around here, now. Whether the little purse contained actual germs or just made us nauseous with the over-the-top PRINCESSNESS, the result us that now I have a bucket in my bed.

Pray for us.

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36 Responses to “Waylaid”

  1. 1
    Jenny February 5, 2008 at 8:56 am #

    You know, before I got to the last paragraph, I thought, “well, that’s why she’s barfing.” My two nieces are firmly in the throes of Disney Princessdom, no matter how much I try to resist. I’m sure by now they can’t stand my gifts because there’s nary a tiara in the mix.

  2. 2
    Becky February 5, 2008 at 8:59 am #

    Ouuuch about the stomach bug. We just received an alert e-mail about an “influenza breakout” on campus, which is just lovely.

    Personally, I think you’re awesome for giving Chickadee your bed. My parents would stick me on a blanket on the floor because there was no way they wanted me infecting their bed with germs, despite how normally there’s nothing better for a sick child to do but watch television (which…was in their room).

  3. 3
    Jessica @ A Bushel and a Peck February 5, 2008 at 9:08 am #

    Ugh, poor Chickadee, I hope she’s feeling better soon and the germs are weak and unable to infect the rest of you!

  4. 4
    tori February 5, 2008 at 9:11 am #

    We had the “puking virus” a few weeks ago, and luckily it was a fast one. I believe it lasted about 12 hours for each child. Unfortunately (fortunately?) they all had it on different days. I haven’t caught it yet and am knocking on wood right now as I type that. Good luck!

  5. 5
    Megan February 5, 2008 at 9:11 am #

    Ooof. Well, that calms down the demands for Chicken Crack (and other) recipes for the moment! A leeeetle difficult to beg/plead/demand something food related when the very next post contains Princess induced up-chucking.

  6. 6
    Nic February 5, 2008 at 9:12 am #

    Wow, what a great way to start your morning. Here’s hoping your folks get the heck out of Dodge before a stray germ hides in their suitcases.

  7. 7
    Flea February 5, 2008 at 9:19 am #

    Stomach bugs are the absolute worst, especially when they’re so weak that they fall asleep on the floor in front of the toilet. On the upside, they’re usually quiet and still all day. Mine crash on the couch when they’re sick, which means I can be near them.

  8. 8
    Burgh Baby's Mom February 5, 2008 at 9:19 am #

    Yup, an overload of princess pink will make ya’ puke everytime. It’s the law.

  9. 9
    Rachel May February 5, 2008 at 9:24 am #

    Poor Chickie! Hope she feels better soon and is caring enough not to share with the family… :P

  10. 10
    birchsprite February 5, 2008 at 9:26 am #

    Poor thing! Fingers crossed for the rest of you!!!

  11. 11
    Otto February 5, 2008 at 9:26 am #

    After consultations with colleagues, I’ve decided to make a defensive move: Monkey and I are staying at a hotel this week. We’ll send you a postcard.

    -otto

  12. 12
    Heather February 5, 2008 at 9:30 am #

    Here’s hoping it passes quickly!

  13. 13
    Leandra February 5, 2008 at 9:47 am #

    Okay, you definitely get the mommy of the year award for letting her have your bed. I make mine stay on the couch with an extra blanket/sheet as a puke protector. I have been known to move Punkin’s toddler mattress to the living room floor and make her stay there. And at least Chickie is old enough to know to go to the toilet. Toddler’s don’t quite get that just yet.

    Hope Chickie feels better soon — and that nobody else gets it!

  14. 14
    Amy-Go February 5, 2008 at 9:55 am #

    I am feeling your pain…I currently have TWO puking small people and am waiting with trepidation for the school nurse to call me about number three…meetcha in Jamaica? ‘Cause I’m seriously considering running away from home.

    Oh, and you are CLEARLY a better person than I am…NOBODY gets to stay in my bed while puking. NOBODY. Unless it’s me.

  15. 15
    All Adither February 5, 2008 at 10:06 am #

    I’m sorry about the vomit. The only saving grace about stomach bugs is that they’re usually short lived. Don’t eat anything too colorful for the next few days.

  16. 16
    Aimee February 5, 2008 at 11:23 am #

    I shall loft my anti-puke prayers heavenward on your behalf.

  17. 17
    Laura February 5, 2008 at 11:29 am #

    Oh, ouch. I caught that bug on the last day of our trip to Arizona. The day I had to get on a plane and fly home. I’m heaping praises on the local doc who gave me a prescription for Zofran, the miracle anti-puking pill.

    The flight (and the two-hour wait in the airport) was still hell, but at least I wasn’t throwing up. (which I’m sure all my fellow travelers also appreciated.)

    If it gets too bad, and you have a local doc already, I highly recommend requesting some Zofran. It may give you a headache, but is better than twelve straight hours of throwing up every 20 minutes.

    Here’s hoping Chickie just ate something bad, and will recover quickly!

  18. 18
    Headless Mom February 5, 2008 at 11:39 am #

    Smart move, Otto!

  19. 19
    Jamie AZ February 5, 2008 at 11:53 am #

    I think Otto’s got the right idea! Hope Chickie is feeling better soon and it somehow skips the rest of you. Unlikely, but we can hope, right?!

  20. 20
    hollygee February 5, 2008 at 12:01 pm #

    Can we see a picture of the Princess glasses. You know we all have to praise Chickie’s good taste. Not a picture on her — although that would be best, but just the glasses?

    I would be fun to see the glittery purse, too.

    I hope that you all are well and that Chickadee recovers quickly.

  21. 21
    StephLove February 5, 2008 at 12:18 pm #

    Feel better soon, Chickadee!

    Fingers crossed for the rest of you. My son had a stomach bug about a week ago, very short in duration and nobody else in the family got it. I was shocked, really. May she have the the same bug.

  22. 22
    Julie Stiles Mills February 5, 2008 at 12:31 pm #

    My 7 year old daughter HATES to vomit! She has opted for the “nausea shot” twice in the past. The first time, she was only 4 years old. That’s a kid who HATES to throw up.

    Good luck with the germ fighting!

  23. 23
    Rachel May February 5, 2008 at 12:50 pm #

    I thought of you a few minutes ago… I stepped out of my classroom, only to see a student from another classroom tossing cookies into the trashcan in the hall.

    Yum.

  24. 24
    Katie February 5, 2008 at 1:34 pm #

    Poor kiddo!

    And I think parents can break the speed of light when it comes to kids puking.

  25. 25
    Momma Em February 5, 2008 at 2:01 pm #

    Otto, I’m surprised at you! Showing the white flag so soon? For shame. *wink*

  26. 26
    Heidi February 5, 2008 at 2:20 pm #

    Otto, you may want to re-think your plan. Just how much would you enjoy your hotel time with Moneky if the bug were to bite HIM, eh? “MIR!!”

  27. 27
    Nancy R February 5, 2008 at 2:29 pm #

    My thought exactly, Heidi. The only thing worse than a puking kid is being away from HOME with a puking kid.

  28. 28
    Sheila February 5, 2008 at 5:42 pm #

    Is BARFDOM an acceptable word for Scrabble?

    Either way, I hope Chickadee is on the mend sooner rather than later and that no one else falls victim. May the Lysol be with you all.

  29. 29
    Lacey February 5, 2008 at 8:07 pm #

    We were allowed in my mom’s bed when sick as children too and I am continuing it with my babies. It just makes you feel better when you are sick! Hope it passes quickly!

  30. 30
    Daisy February 5, 2008 at 8:28 pm #

    Poor chickie — and poor mom. My family and my students have all been falling ill with a flu-type upper respiratory thing. At least they’re not puking in all the wastebaskets. Hope all is well soon at your home!

  31. 31
    The Over-Thinker February 5, 2008 at 9:07 pm #

    I hope Chickie feels better soon. Maybe she could puke in the Pukey Princess Purse?

    I’ll cross my fingers that the bug doesn’t spread any further…

  32. 32
    Bri February 5, 2008 at 10:39 pm #

    My mom always let me stay in her bed when I was sick, it is very comforting, I think it’s the Mom smell. The first time I was really sick as an adult living on my own was awful, no one to bring me juice or a cool cloth for my head.

    Chickie is a lucky girl to have such a caring mama.

  33. 33
    Christy February 6, 2008 at 2:01 am #

    I’m a Georgia Voter! Signified by a large peach. Which does NOT mean I’m an ass, even though it looks like one. about 8 hours ago from web

    Just had to respond to this because the first thing that I thought when they gave me my sticker today was,

    “My humps, my humps, my lovely lady humps…”

    Oh, Georgia. You’re such an ass man.

  34. 34
    Christy February 6, 2008 at 2:07 am #

    Or maybe it’s lady lumps? I never sing the words right to anything! :)

    I hope that Chickadee is feeling better. We have a stomach virus going around here in East Cobb, too. Of course, both of mine have the respiratory infection right now- I’m sure it will move to the stomach soon. Sigh.

  35. 35
    jen February 6, 2008 at 3:52 pm #

    My husband has brought the Death Virus of Doom into the house. We are now in lockdown mode and we will not move out of the red zone until we’ve all had it at least once. Poor Chickadee; hope she’s feeling better soon.
    And I’m convinced that ALL glasses are constructed by that one wizened troll, for my sunglasses took nearly four months to get to me. He’s a busy little bugger.

  36. 36
    carson February 6, 2008 at 11:29 pm #

    I am so glad that my daughter never saw the pretty pretty princess glasses. No, we just have metallic hot pink frames.

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