I arose this morning with a heavy heart, for it was time to go find myself a new bank. I’ve mentioned here before that I had a bit of trouble starting when I switched to a Big National Bank, and then yesterday was the straw that broke the camel’s back in my prolonged banking saga. I was looking forward to getting AWAY from my current bank, but I wasn’t particularly looking forward to all the paperwork and figuring out how to manage the switch and everything.
So I dawdled as long as possible and then left to go visit the bank I’d chosen.
Here’s the thing: Big National Bank promised me the CONFIDENCE of a NATIONAL CHAIN and in actuality delivered the SOULLESSNESS of the BORG. Only in a much less efficient manner. They just kept screwing everything up and I could never reach an actual human there and then they started charging all of my accounts with service fees for things that were supposed to be free and, look, believe me when I say that I RILLY RILLY RILLY wanted to find a way to make it work, but they drove me away.
So today I drove down the road to Small Local Bank and it was like walking into a Twilight Zone episode, compared to the repeated rape I’ve endured at the hands of Big National Bank.
Small Local Bank was quiet and not busy and I was greeted and helped immediately.
Small Local Bank offered me a cold beverage!
Small Local Bank listened to my tale of woe and assured me that they were different. I was skeptical, but Small Local Bank stroked my hair and told me I’m pretty.
Small Local Bank gave me a mug!
In under an hour, Small Local Bank had set up all three of my accounts INCLUDING my business account, properly configured, and also waived the hold on my deposited checks so that I can pay those pesky little bills like those mortgages (yes, still plural; SHUT UP) immediately and I won’t have to stay with Big National Bank any longer.
I ran out of time to run over to Big National Bank to close my accounts and tell them what they can do with their service charges, the checks I never received, and the ATM card that I never got to use before their stupid machine ate it, and that was too bad, but it was for a good reason. Instead of doing that, I drove downtown to meet Leandra for lunch.
Leandra is a frequent commenter here and was kind enough to reach out to me after my move to say hello and suggest we get together. We actually made lunch plans earlier than this, but it just so happened that Chickadee’s head started spinning all the way ’round while she spoke in tongues (funny, I didn’t understand most of it, but the UNADULTERATED RAGE seemed to come through most of the time) and I cancelled with Leandra because I thought I should probably stay home and sit on my daughter until I felt reasonably confident that she wasn’t going to set fire to the house or anything while I was out.
But this morning I was ready to actually go out and have some fun, and so I emailed Leandra to say, “Okay! I’m wearing a white shirt and my superhero necklace!” so that she could spot me. She immediately emailed back, “Okay! I’m wearing a mint green top and black capris!” And a normal person then would’ve though “Great, now I know how to find her,” but—being me—I immediately thought, “Should I clarify that I am also wearing pants?”
After my lovely experience at the bank, though, I was floating on air as I headed off to meet Leandra. My trusty GPS told me where to go, and I was doing great until I made my first loop around the restaurant and couldn’t find a place to park. As I made a second, wider circle it occurred to me that I might be looking for a spot for a while. Fortunately, as I rounded the front of the restaurant again, there sat an adorable woman in a green shirt and black capris, so I waved her over to the car and made her ride around with me to find a parking spot.
Eventually we parked, walked back to the restaurant, had sushi and tea (sweet for her, unsweet for me because my northern teeth cannot take the sweet version), and a wonderful time. I could’ve happily stayed for several hours, but she had a JOB or something to get back to, I don’t know. I think she was just sick of me. (Also, I suspect that many people who read me think I am just joking about what a tremendous dork I am, and then when they meet me, there’s really NO HIDING IT.)
I came back home and Otto headed out to do work stuff for a while, leaving me with the kids. I did a little work while they asked wheeeeen they could go swiiiiiimiiiiiing, and eventually I gave up on work and took them out to the pool. They swam for about twelve hours (well, it felt like that, anyway) until it was time to come in for dinner.
At that point I decided to check out my online banking with my new wonderful bank, and discovered that only two of my three accounts were showing up. A couple of phone calls later it was determined that I do have to make another trip in to sign something else, which I guess is fine because I still have to go deposit my funds from Big National Bank after I tell them to bite me, but it was a bit disconcerting. Still. I have that nice new mug and they did fix the problem pretty much right away.
And I got to leave the house without my children and go eat sushi, so really, I’m not complaining about anything.