Good news! I survived.

I did half an hour on the elliptical trainer, then collapsed onto the floor weeping stretched out for a while. While my hindquarters are still markedly jiggly, I’m feeling the burn, baby.

Unfortunately, Mary only placed second in the Minnesota-wide mathematics competition, and Laura’s bundt cake fell apart. It was touch and go there, for a bit. In the end it was okay, though; the town welcomed Mary back with open arms and some dude in a tophat declaring in a thick Scandinavian accent, “Tank you, Mary Ingalls, for putting Walnut Grove on da map!”, and Pa said the cake still tasted “mighty fine.” Phew.

In other news, Big Company strikes again! They must’ve heard I’ve kicked the sugar and all, because even though I turned them down on their offer to be a Vice President of Finance, they’re back begging at my door, again. Today they’ve contacted me to let me know I should apply to be a Vice President of Management Effectiveness. And let me tell you, it’s about time they recognized my abilities.

My first decree as VP of Management Effectiveness shall go like this: Hey, get your heads out of your butts and try actually matching people to jobs for which they’re qualified, and then when they apply for those jobs, call them back and hire them. Big Company–heck, most big companies–could use some work in this area. I’m gonna have my work cut out for me.

Also, once I’m a VP, I don’t think I’m allowed to use the word “gonna” anymore. Pity.