So close, and yet so far

By Mir
March 23, 2016

Greetings from Day 17 of our 5-day bathroom remodel. HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA. HAAAAAAA. HA. Ahem.

It was the vanity, you see. Not vanity like hubris sort of vanity, but the physical cabinet/counter/sink thingie, and it was backordered, and so we had to wait. I mean, let’s pretend that’s why, and forget about the tiling and retiling and the third time the tile got done, finally. Because the tile looks great! The floor is lovely! The shower is complete! And we even have a working toilet! Let’s ignore the antibacterial soap pump on the edge of the tub because we have no sink. In fact, I’m pretty sure my kids are ignoring it, so why not?

Also let us not speak of the day the painters came and swore it was “all done” and later I found giant swaths of missing paint. “Sometimes when you’re painting a lot you just get tunnel vision,” said our contractor.

“Or complete blindness?” I suggested, looking for a more reasonable explanation. I mean, I do a fair amount of painting for someone who isn’t a painter. (I actually love to paint. It’s the one home improvement task I totally enjoy.) Never in the history of my painting various rooms in various homes have I ever packed up my brushes and rollers with a triumphant, “DONE!” only to discover that I’d missed huge patches of walls. Silly me, I figured if you PAINT FOR A LIVING that’s the sort of thing which… wouldn’t happen. Obviously I do not understand the grueling reality of having to use your eyeballs to survey your professional work.

It’s possible that a wee bit of bitterness is starting to set in.

But, listen, it’s not my fault. Because last week I was assured that the vanity was being picked up Tuesday morning and installed Tuesday afternoon and then the painters would also finish painting and Wednesday (TODAY) they would finish the trim, put up the towel racks, etc. It was all so close. I COULD TASTE IT.

Yesterday, they were late. And that was okay! Things happen! I AM AN UNDERSTANDING SORT. It did mean I had to just leave the house unlocked for them while I took the dogs to the vet, but that was FINE. I am FLEXIBLE.

[Sidebar: The dogs were due for vaccinations. Taking both dogs to the vet is an exercise in complete ridiculousness, as Duncan’s file says WARNING DOG BITES HAS BITTEN OWNER IS BITEY MCBITERSON BITESALOT, and he just wanders around all waggy, looking for treats; meanwhile, Licorice’s file says she’s calm and sweet and she starts whining the second we get there and spends the entire visit crying and vibrating and leaping on and off my lap. They got their shots and had their nails trimmed and Duncan got a new special ear infection treatment because of course he had an ear infection because Duncan ALWAYS has an ear infection, and $300 later I remembered why owning pets is objectively a very dumb idea. Thank goodness I’ve never been objective. Also, if you’re not a fan of the blog on Facebook, you should be—go here and click Like!—because that’s how you get to see extra stuff like Licorice being a dork at the vet.]

Anyhoo. I brought the dogs home from the vet. THE VANITY WAS RIGHT OUTSIDE MY FRONT DOOR. The heavens opened and the angels sang. I was giddy with anticipation.

Ten minutes later, the lead contractor walked into my office and sat down on my couch with an audible sigh.

“Oh no,” I said. “WHAT ARE YOU HERE TO TELL ME??”

He scrubbed at his face with his hands. “Well,” he said. “The vanity is… missing some pieces.”

Because of course it is!

Doesn’t it look great?


No? YOU DO NOT LOVE IT? You feel like it’s… missing a little something?

Oh, don’t worry. The sink and countertop are here. They’re on my front porch, albeit upside-down. I assume they’re lovely. But the problem, you see, is that there are… side piece doohickeys… designed to make this cabinet a solid piece, there, and look all built-in and nice, and those pieces somehow did not make it onto the truck. And you can’t finish installing the cabinet and then put the counter/sink on until you have those.

And you can’t finish painting until that’s done. And you can’t put on the cabinet handles. And you can’t install the trim back until the painting’s done. And you can’t put up the mirror. Or the new lightning fixture. Or the towel racks. There’s a hole in the bucket, etc.

I’ve been assured they’re tracking down the missing pieces and they’ll be here later today. We’ll see! And then… well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, I guess. I’ll just be over here, staring longingly at the nice new towels I bought for the nice new towel racks for my nice new bathroom that is just a pipe dream. So unfair. (Yes, yes, I know; I hope this is the worst thing that happens to me for a long time. I’m annoyed but I do realize that in the grand scheme this is not exactly a crisis.)

While I wait for hell to freeze over and my bathroom to be finished, you can head over to Alpha Mom to read about a different sort of unfairness, if you like. Hey, it’s good to have a bathroom distraction, I guess.


  1. Been there

    Re: the school situation. I just had a conversation with a teacher friend at local high school. Part of it was about one of her colleagues and the myriad issues students are having in her class. This has been a long-standing issue at the school, with parents warning other parents…you know the deal.

    Teacher-friend’s comment was that without parent intervention, these issues do not come into the attention of the administration. Student concerns can be attributed to teenage angst. Parent concerns are taken more seriously. So if you do truly think there is an issue, then it is YOUR activism as a parent that will make it be addressed.

    Don’t underestimate your power as parent to create positive change for not just your kid, but those in his/her class and those that come behind them.

  2. Laura

    This story is like the bathroom remodeling version of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. Hopefully it ends soon!

    • Rachel

      That’s exactly what I thought when reading this post! =)

  3. Ali

    My 17yo Lhasa is a nervous pooper so trips to the vet always result in me having to apologetically scoop poop off the floor the minute we walk in. But the minute the Vet releases her and we go to pay (oh the money this year alone), she is completely relaxed. And completely deaf, so the last time we were there and a woman with a pair of yappies kept apologizing while I looked like I owned the most well-behaved, nonchalant dog in the world.

    And I thank you for the pun post. I adore good puns and have passed it on to my kids. They loved all of them!

  4. joanne

    Good think you started early — hoping and praying for you that it will be done before the graduation party!

    • Mir

      At the current rate of progress I feel like maybe we’ll be done for MONKEY’s graduation party….

  5. Rachel

    We moved in to our house when it was 20+ years old. The bathroom cabinet doohickey’s were never installed… one side of the cabinet was flush with one wall, one side had a one inch space between the cabinet & other wall. A nice space to collect lint & dust…. gross. My handyman husband filled it in with a board painted to match the wall & now I don’t have to look at the hole filled with lint. =)

  6. Kristie

    Was the new ear treatment the one where the put the medicine in and it solidifies in the dog’s ear? They did that on my floppy-eared dog who had frequent ear infections, and he has not had one in a long time. I hope it works well for Duncan!

    • Mir

      Yes!! DARK MAGIC! (Glad to hear it actually works. Fingers crossed, here.)

  7. Michelle

    How is it that you have all the bad luck when it comes to projects like this (and the fence, deck, and the pool liner)? Really I can totally understand why you’re not up for spending money on projects like this. Oy!!

    Hope that things come together quickly today (and tomorrow).

    • Mir

      I think projects like this always take too long. I complain about it because it helps me realize how ridiculous it is. ;)

  8. Karen

    Ah – yes I remember having the bathroom done. But being the glutton for punishment that I am, I did BOTH downstairs baths. One a total tear out. I also hired a contractor who is so anal-retentive that I didn’t worry (much). He really checked on his guys. Plus, we were leaving for a week – so he had full run of the house!

    Soon you will be loving your new bath – I promise.

  9. Jena

    You’re so pretty. May I offer you some wine?

  10. Jeanie

    o grrrrr!

  11. Chris

    My other great hell of home ownership that they don’t really tell you about, it that when you finally fix something, the next thing breaks.

    If you are lucky, it alternates between big and little things but if not you could realize you need to paint the house this year AND two leaks seem to have developed in the roof that the roofer just said was good for another 3-5 years. I don’t want the full new roof if I don’t have but water dripping down into rooms is not a good sign (and we are also on our third repair effort)

    I am increasing thinking about updating the kitchen (which may become a moot point if roof needs to be replaced) but that is another project you know will end up being much worse than promised in the end.

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