Whoops, it’s okay

By Mir
November 17, 2015

I realized I may have—in my attempts to be privacy-shielding and vague—accidentally left the impression that the sky was falling with that last post. And no, I wasn’t smart enough to figure it out on my own; rather, after a bunch of concerned emails followed by one from my dad asking what was going on, it occurred to me that sometimes I need to distinguish between “feeling miserable here” and “genuine crisis here.” So. Um. Oops? I’m sorry! And thank you for the concern!

Long story short, Monkey has been ill, but in that special Monkey-licious Aspie way of “NO I AM FINE I JUST HATE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING AND LIFE IS TERRIBLE!” It doesn’t matter that we’re coming up on 16 years of this, every single time I have to go through this trajectory of “Oh my God what is WRONG with him?” and “Wait, I think he’s sick” and “But no, really, WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM??” before we get it figured out. And in the meantime, it’s frustrating and he’s in pain and everything sucks. (Long story even shorter: Did you know that a severe Vitamin D deficiency can make you feel like garbage? True story!)

In the meantime, life marches on, and as we continue preparing the other kid for college (hey, at least she can tell us when she’s sick, so she has that going for her), I made sure that even though things are going really well in Chickieville, I still have something to worry about. I’m great like that. Fellow parents of ADHD kids, you’ll want to check out my post at Alpha Mom today.


  1. Carrie on

    I was recently diagnosed with Vitamin D deficiency. I thought it was my thyroid, and I told the doctor that something had to change because I was tired of being exhausted and depressed. I felt better after just a few weeks of taking prescription supplements, but 2 months later I feel mostly “normal” again. Monkey will feel tons better in no time.

  2. StephLove

    How long did it take to find the right ADHD drug and the right dosage? Our son’s psychiatrist wanted to start anti-anxiety meds before ADHD meds in hopes that it might help both with social issues and with his paralysis in the face of any homework that involves writing. It’s been about a month and results have been modest at best. He does have an ADHD diagnosis so I’m wondering if a more traditional ADHD drug is the way to go.

    I’m glad you found out what was wrong with Monkey.

    • amanda

      I think that your psychiatrist might have the right idea. We’ve done the exact opposite and the anxiety is through the roof and leading to complete freak outs from my son. It might be time for you to add the traditional ADHD drug. I’ve taken my son off the stimulant and am hoping to get some kind of anti-anxiety from the doctor at our appointment this week. It is so hard. Hugs to you.

    • Mir

      Psychiatric meds are as much art as science. We started with a non-stimulant because at the time we were still in eating disorder territory and didn’t want any appetite suppression. It didn’t help at all. We eventually went the stimulant route and it was like someone flipped a switch. Bonus: She eats more, on it, because she doesn’t forget to eat! There is a fine line with stimulant levels and anxiety, though, and that’s the tricky bit. Lots of trial and error here, especially when doing dosage changes. (Sorry, I wish I had a better answer!)

  3. Arnebya

    I’ve had headaches and dizziness and other issues the past few years. The only thing that ever shows up in bloodwork is a vitamin D deficiency. I was taking supplements for a bit but I didn’t notice a difference, so I stopped, because I’m a doctor.

    • Mir

      EXCUSE ME MA’AM, I am pretty sure you’re not a doctor.

      Also it apparently takes a while. Take your damn supplements.

      • Angela S

        It took a LONG time to “heal” my vit d levels…like a year or more. 6 years later I still take a maintenance level dose but feel way better. But watch out because other immune responses can jump out of nowhere and tank your levels again… I learned that this year. So yes take the stinking supplements because you’ll feel better eventually!

  4. Mary K. in Rockport

    Pills ARE an issue at college. In addition to the forgetting, there is the taking too many to stay up all night, there is the possibility of selling them for big bucks and then running out prematurely, and there is the possibility of theft so that the thief can sell them to someone who needs to stay up all night or be superalert for an exam or as a dieting aid. These things can and do happen. There, I just gave you more to worry about.

  5. LizD

    I have a terrible time remembering to take my melds. I basically want to kill myself mid-afternoon if I missed the morning pills.

    What works for me is keeping the pill case on my nightstand. Glass of water goes bedside every evening, and I take my evening Ned’s then. In the morning, when I wake, the first thing I do is take the morning pills, even before getting out of bed.

    Sunday morning is pill case filling time. Again, I do this as soon as I get up.

    Just another suggestion for managing one’s own meds.

  6. Kim

    I have one daughter on stimulants, and one (younger) one on anti-anxiety. I myself am on both. My younger is 5, and her anxiety and sleep apnea have combined for a social delay. It’s clear to me that her meds are helping. It is also clear to me that she continues to have ADD symptoms, and I need to develop more strategies to deal with those.

    The thing with meds is that they need tweaking. My daughter does great on methylphenidate (Ritalin) – I do ok on it, but amphetamine salts (Adderall) works much better for me (it’s like wearing my backup glasses, from a prescription ago – I can still see, but it’s clearer and sharper with the current pair.) Neither of us did well on extended release – it didn’t clear our systems fast enough and made it hard to sleep. I upped my anti-anxiety meds last week because I was struggling. I think lots of people try one med and stop, and that won’t work. You have to keep adjusting.

  7. Brigitte

    Oops, I’ve been slacking on my vitamin D, maybe it’ll help me out of this funk from lying around indoors for a month with pneumonia or something – thanks for the reminder. Oh, and glad the sky isn’t falling! ;-)

  8. Jean

    I can’t tell from your Alpha Mom post–have you/has she tried setting an alarm on her phone to remind/ask herself “Have I taken my meds?” That, and carrying spares in her purse/backpack so if she forgets going out the door but remembers 20 minutes later, might help.

  9. Daisy

    Rumor has it that Aspies and stomach ailments are in the same overlap corner of the Venn diagram. I have no proof, however. I hope Year 16 for Monkey is healthier than it was for my Amigo. He’s very healthy now, but oh, that was a tough year.

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