You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry

Actually… most of you probably WOULD like me when I’m angry. But other people… not so much.

Anyway, I’m trying to cool down, but: I’m angry. Every day, in a dozen tiny ways, the world misunderstands my kids. That’s the nature of the beast and my mantra is to assume people are generally well-meaning and kind, and ignorance isn’t malice, after all. But every now and then, the ignorance is hard to bear.

I dusted off my soap box for this one, because disability is not laziness, and teachers—of all people!—should know that. C’mon. It’s 2015.


  1. Shannon

    This isn’t anything really about the article. I agree with you whole heartedly. I just wanted to mention something I learned as a professor, since your oldest is getting ready to go to college next year. Make sure she tells her professors if she has any accommodations from disability services. When I taught, we weren’t given the accommodation sheets. It was at the student’s discretion to tell us. If we didn’t know of their existence, we couldn’t put them to use.

    • Erin

      ^^^ THIS. I’m always more than happy to accommodate students’ needs, but I can’t do that if I don’t know what they are! I had a student in the spring who didn’t tell me until the morning of the exam (half an hour before it began) that he was eligible for time and a half and a quiet room. He hadn’t told me because he felt like asking for his accommodations was a “cop-out” (probably he had one too many teachers like the one you’re dealing with now!). He wasn’t asking for them at the eleventh hour (he understood there wasn’t anything I could really do at that point), but he was panicking and wishing he HAD asked. And–after I graded his exam–I wished he’d asked, too! I’m certain he would have performed better in a quiet space with extra time to think and write.

      So yes–faculty are happy to give accommodations, but we have to KNOW about them! There’s absolutely NO need to be ashamed.

    • Mir

      Excellent point, and something we’re already working on (we have visited Disability Services while doing college visits!) because, as Erin points out, years of being treated like she was copping out has made my daughter reluctant to advocate for herself. We’re getting there, though.

      Just to clarify, though, the comment the Alpha Mom post references was in response to a perfectly reasonable request based on IEP accommodations… which I know for a fact the teacher was already aware of, due to a recent meeting. No bueno.

  2. LizD

    I really DO like you when you are angry. Great comparison with the broken leg.

  3. Brigitte

    Mama bear has been awakened!

  4. Mame

    I would go with #3, just #3. That is all the teacher needs to know.

    My daughter has type 1 diabetes. I was bringing her home from school once when she was having blood sugar issues. A teacher told me she was never going to get over her diabetes if I continued to baby her. Honest to God, straight face. Apparently all that money spent on research for a cure is wasted. We just need to stop babying people with diabetes.

    There are good an bad in every profession. In the beginning I tried to educate the staff that my daughter had to deal with. I came to the conclusion that those who got it, got it one way or the other. Those who didn’t get it, weren’t going to get it. I didn’t need them to understand, I needed them to do what they were instructed to do.

  5. Mary K. in Rockport

    #1 – Right on.
    #2 – My daughter, as I’ve told you, REFUSED to admit to any need for help or accommodation when she got to college, and that particular college REFUSED to step up with help unless she asked because she “was an adult.” It did not end well.
    #3 – A slightly off-topic story. I was once at a meeting at our kids’ elementary school where the superintendent – the superintendent! – alleged that IEPs were a bad idea because then all the parents would want them for their kids so their kids could have an easy ride. I met eyes with another SPED teacher, and we countered with our opinions that, actually, most parents find the news that their child has special needs not that welcome.

  6. Tracy

    Mir, I. Love. You. Most. When. You. Are. Angry. Don’t ever doubt that your parenting skills are right on target. These are YOUR children, no one else’s and what ever you do as their parent is right, whether anyone else agrees. I hope you get right up in that teachers face and explain to her what she did wrong. She can’t get away with that! Not now, not ever. She is apparently in the wrong seat on the wrong bus. Not everyone is made to teach. And you are so right about how most parents don’t get involved, don’t care, etc. It’s your right as a parent to stand up and make others take notice when your child is being mistreated.

  7. Karen

    As the mother of a daughter with disabilities you can’t see (TBI) and having had similar experiences… and knowing because you said above you really like this teacher and so does your child, I think it’s fair to have an open conversation with said teacher before being totally horrified. I know this opinion won’t be a favorite among you or your readers, just giving you an honest perspective of mine from past experience – … when the incident occurred and I first heard it from my child’s complaint and became enraged… sometimes.. it turned out that it hadn’t quite been exactly as it was initially presented and I then regretted not hearing out the other party.

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