Rites of passage everywhere

Every time I think I’m getting the hang of this parenting gig (don’t worry, it doesn’t happen all that often; just the rare, delusional flash of perceived competence), something new comes up.

Chickadee’s been doing marching band for years, y’know, so I figured I had the routine down and everything would be old hat with Monkey. But I forgot that he’s a boy and she’s a girl. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t know, but I forgot that once they got into uniform fittings there are… ahhhh… different concerns for boys and girls. Marching band uniforms are… very form-fitting. VERY. FORM-FITTING. Do you get where I’m going with this…?

I had to buy my son compression shorts, okay? I’m pretty sure it was traumatic for both of us. There is no comfortable way to explain to your kid that no one wants to see his junk while he’s wearing his uniform (Me: “No one wants to see your junk while you’re wearing your uniform.” Him: “GOD! MOM!! WHY WOULD ANYONE BE LOOKING AT MY CROTCH??”) or to handle trying on and assessing fit without wanting to stab out your own eyes, afterward. We got through it. Now let us never speak of it again.

No less traumatic, but 100% less groin-related, was taking my kid to get a checking account. It’s almost like I expect her to be a fully-formed adult in the not-too-distant future. That’s weird, right? I think it is. We lived, and I wrote about it for Alpha Mom, because there’s no spot in the baby book to record Baby’s First Debit Card.


  1. Jen

    They are form-fitting because you are in Georgia. Up here, we have uniforms that allow for multiple layers of frostbite prevention. In college, my record was five full layers UNDER the uniform; it was zero degrees and dropping. There’s a reason I have issues with cold, and it’s called five years of college marching band.

    • Daisy

      My local uniforms are like that, too! Our kiddos march in December. Brrrrr.

  2. TC

    We got around a checking account for our high-school (gulp!) senior by getting her a Paypal card, onto which we can ‘deposit’ any amount of money, and she gets it immediately. But yes, eventually we’ll have to do that. Damn you. One MORE rite of passage for me to cry over. ;-)

  3. Lorie

    Sorry…first time visitor here via Karen’s blog, This old house. I have no children, so really can’t relate personally, but…you cracked me up and had me spewing my water all over my keyboard! :) Thank you so much – I really needed a good laugh today!!

  4. Brigitte


  5. Andrea

    I can relate! I had to get my 11 year old a cup for the first time last spring for baseball. That was…something. He’s been asking lots of questions lately and I’m trying to be very matter of fact so he doesn’t get embarrassed about coming to me. I think I’m being totally nonchalant and giving him factual, no nonsense answers, and inevitably, before I finish, he will say, “OK. Let’s not talk about this anymore. It is making me feel weird.” So, yeah, apparently I’m not doing that great.

  6. kapgaf

    Ha, you think it’s weird with your biological son? Now think about it again but replace biological with step. Been there, done that and can now laugh about it with him (36 yr old) without deep burgundy blushing.

Things I Might Once Have Said


Quick Retail Therapy

Pin It on Pinterest