It turns out my life is dull

I don’t know if my life used to be more interesting than it is now, or if I just used to believe it to be more interesting. (Maybe don’t tell me. Allow me my fantasy that my life was once better than it is now.) I keep thinking, “I’ll write once something fascinating happens.” But guess what! I suppose this is middle age, yes? When you realize that your life is just not all that exciting…?

(To be fair, I actually had that epiphany over the weekend when Otto was watching Formula One and I plunked myself down on the couch next to him. The coverage cut to a new thermal imaging camera they’re using to show how hot the tires get on the track, and at the same time both of us went, “Ooooooooooh!” That was when I realized that what passes for excitement in your 40s is really nothing like what you imagined when you were younger. It was also when I realized that true love is also a far cry from what I once assumed.)

So until something thrilling happens (haaaa), you get snippets.

* * * * *

Homeschooling is fun, part 1: Monkey sometimes giggles while doing his work at the computer, and then shares with me the various mirth-inducing answers on the quiz he’s taking or whatever. His biology class often has multiple choice questions where one or two of the available options is just ridiculous. At one point they were doing a unit on chemistry (in biology! because I don’t know why!) and one of the questions was about the term we use to refer to water. While “the universal solvent” was the correct answer, “the great wet briny” and “the ultimate moistener” were also available answer options.

Now whenever I don’t know the answer to one of Monkey’s questions, I say, “The great wet briny!” And it’s still funny.

Also, “the ultimate moistener” is now how we refer to Licorice.

* * * * *

Homeschooling is fun, part 2: Currently they’re doing a unit on ecology. One of today’s assignments was to go through some sort of test-your-eco-friendliness quiz which required him to ask me a gazillion and one questions about our house, our salaries, etc. In spite of the fact that we recycle, compost, grow our own vegetables, buy secondhand, blah blah blah BLAH, at the end of this LENGTHY quiz, Monkey was informed that if every family in the world lived the way we do, we would need “4.5 earths.”

I get that the point is to help kids understand that we’re killing the earth, but man, I think he might be scarred for life. (It got worse when the quiz also told him that statistically speaking, we’re doing better than most Americans. I guess they need even more extra earths.) Also, where would we put 3.5 more earths? And do we need that to live forever or what? I have so many unanswered questions.

* * * * *

Homeschooling is fun, part 3: As of this morning I officially want to punch myself in the face. One of Monkey’s teachers wasn’t following the accommodations that he’s supposed to get until the special ed coordinator stepped in and clarified, and NOW things are on track, EXCEPT that he turned in a bunch of work late around the time of said intervention and it was all marked way down for being late… right after it was explained in painstaking detail that he’s to be given extra time and not penalized. And so I had to be that parent I hate who writes to the teacher to ask for my precious snowflake’s grades to be raised.

No only do I want to punch myself in the face, but the teacher probably thinks I’m a complete loon. I was falling all over myself to find a way to communicate, “Yo, NOT COOL because NO” at the same time as “I would never grade grub for my kids; it’s not about the grades, it’s about following procedure and also not making my kid so discouraged that he stops working.” It’s a delicate balance and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I am not particularly delicate. So that’s awesome.

* * * * *

Homeschooling is fun, part 4:

Public school is off today so that teachers can have meetings, which means that Chickadee is home. But Monkey’s online classes are NOT off today. As a result, he’s supposed to be working on classwork and she is supposed to be doing homework and instead of either of them working they’ve mostly been bickering over leftover pancakes and chores, with the occasional break to hassle the dog.

I am going to start shooting video so that the next time Chickie wants to know why I can’t homeschool both of them, I can just roll some highlights of The Day I Nearly Killed Them Both.

* * * * *

If I ever start a rock band, I’m going to call it The Banana Window. One of my children will only eat a banana if it is THE PERFECT AMOUNT OF FRECKLY, and I believe we have established that this window of Banana Acceptability is only about 6 hours long. This has nothing to do with anything, but I think it’s a great illustration of how the smallest things your loved ones do can make you feel things which are decidedly not at all loving.

* * * * *

If I’m completely honest, another reason I haven’t been writing much is that The Great Medication Adjustment is ongoing and maybe not quite as idyllic as I’d hoped it would be. We all know that my husband is a good and patient and kind man, and when he put his hand on my knee a few days ago and gazed into my eyes and lovingly whispered that some of the things coming out of my mouth recently are better suited to my inside-the-head voice, I had to concede that I am PERHAPS just a touch more irritable of late. But mostly because people are annoying and stupid, you understand. Ahem. Still, he may have a point.

The problem (as if there’s only one…) is that by nature I maintain a certain baseline hatred of people, I think. [Otto: You do not hate people. Me: Yes I DO. Otto: You do NOT. Do you hate ME? Me: YOU ARE NOT PEOPLE! Otto: I give up.] This can make it hard to discern when my regular hermit-tendencies have crossed over into murderous rage towards my fellow humans. Although when I write it out like that, I guess I can see where that could be… alarming.

I’m working on it. Though I suspect my doctor is a little tired of hearing, “Yeah, well, I’m kind of tired? And also I hate everyone? Is that fixable?”

* * * * *

Speaking of the ultimate moistener, I think I mentioned a while back that Licorice’s nails are too long and she hates having them cut and I am a big wuss about tending to her pedicure needs. Well, I decided to put on my big girl panties and just cut her nails a tiny bit every weekend so that we get her nails shorter and she hopefully gets used to having it done.

In response to this plan, Licorice has become a great big dramatic liarpants who yelps and yips and cries the minute I touch her feet. The first time she did it, I’d just snipped a nail and was afraid I’d gone too deep. But the next time she did it when I just touched a foot pad with my finger, so then I knew she was being a drama queen. Perhaps we should call her the dramatic moistener, instead.

* * * * *

I have no idea what we’re having for dinner tonight. What are you having? Even though I apparently hate you, I might want to steal your dinner plan. Because that’s the kind of jerkface I am.

68 Comments

  1. Jen

    Ok dear jerkface (ahem), I have a hunk of beef in the crockpot turning itself into Italian Beef sandwiches. Except I have no gluten free rolls (or glutentastic rolls either, for that matter…damn…this means I have to put on makeup and go to the store).
    I may take video next Monday of “why I don’t homeschool both of you.” So yeah.
    Also? Sometimes life and homeschooling and all that just sucks. And that’s ok. Kinda.

  2. Maria

    Bananas, man. This.

  3. Amanda

    Psssttt….I hate people too. I expressed as much at least three times while driving on Saturday. My son even said, “By the way, do you hate people?”

    I have no delicate tendencies when it comes to procedure either (Aspie much? Probably.) I’m very much this is the way it is, NOW DO IT, DAMMIT. (Or DUMBASS, whichever fits the situation. Probably both.)

    We’re having a mixture of tacos and Wendy’s for dinner for the gluten eaters and the non. Either way, it’s all done, and I’m not cooking.

  4. Chewie

    I’m attempting ground turkey Asian lettuce wraps…I predict I abandon that and go with potato soup instead…it is finally cold here….:)

    Finding the joy in homeschooling and not killing children while adjusting meds is some serious full time work…so…doing actual work too…you are like a genius and I bow to you.

    Chew

  5. Sharon

    I just discovered that we are psychic twins. Murderous rage toward my fellow humans hidden behind I am tired is what’s for breakfast around here :)

    • JMH

      Then I am your triplet :)

  6. Andrea

    I’ve been hating everyone a lot lately, too…but I can’t even blame medication for it. I’m just a big dumb grumpy hateful head. We’re having a pork roast for dinner tonight. It went into the smoker before we left for work this morning. As for what we’re having WITH the roast, I have no idea. And frankly, I don’t even care! HARUMPH.

  7. Katie

    Tacos. Easy weeknight meal. First time in a few months because we WAY overdid tacos back in the spring!

  8. AlisonC

    Totally agree on the bananas which is why I don’t buy them. If you don’t get to them in that 6 hours then they are too hard or too squishy.

  9. Chewie

    Also…the bananas…YES. The tiny window of acceptable banana-ness makes me want to cry.

  10. Kelly

    Um I have chicken defrosting. If I figure out what to do with it, I’ll let you know. Or you can send ideas… thinking I can say they need to be grilled and assign it to my hubby instead.

  11. Holly Gault

    I’m thinking of chicken tagine — I just saw this: http://ruhlman.com/2013/10/chicken-tagine/ and I have chicken defrosted. It could be sweet potato tagine for the vegetarian inclined.

    Much luck with your cranky. Wait until you see how exciting your 60’s are — whoa!

  12. Aimee

    I have no idea what I’m having for dinner tonight, but tacos sound like a good gf option with some sort of beans or something for your resident vegetarian and delicious meat for the rest of you.

    No amount of you hating humans, even if the humans include me, can make me not love you. So there, crankypants! xo

  13. js

    My daughter is in Running Club. It’s an after school program to see if they might like to join cross country when they get older. Cute. My child is NOT athletic, but her friends joined the club so she wanted to as well. So, the other day, my child, who does not run, had to run many miles from the school to McDonald’s (?!) as part of their practice. When they got there, she was red-faced and winded because, Duh. So her teacher sent my daughter back to school early with her teenage son as her ride. (There are so many things wrong with this.)Then she sent me a very polite email that said, I’m so concerned about your child and does she maybe have some health concerns that would make this your fault? Try writing a polite email to that.(I was home and happy to pick up my child early. She should’ve called me first. Also, junior in high school who has not had his license very long driving my tween girl baby alone?!) I hate people.

    Thank you for this post. I am all cheered up now, thanks to your snippets. I remain convinced I am actually a grumpy, 70 year-old man. Now, I don’t feel so alone. Also, we are having Buffalo Shrimp Caesar Salad because it’s still, like 80 degrees here. We’re holding on to summer, man!

  14. Rebecca

    I’ve had dinner (living on the other side of the world) and when I decided that two chocolate bars and peach gummies were not enough it was too late to start cooking so I supplemented with granola and yogurt.
    And your dramatic moistener story is the best. My own dramatic moistener has to get ear drops every so often and used to run and hide when she saw the bottle. With much persistence from the humans she has given up all ideas of fleeing and now flops down on the carpet with what can only be a big doggie sigh and takes the drops. Poor puppy.

  15. parodie

    My significant other (who I am actually rather annoyed with, bah, but I am happy to hear I am not alone in that) has developed a marinade/sauce which seems to be delicious on just about any protein (successes include pork, chicken, and tofu): chop a big handful of cilantro, several cloves garlic, a generous piece of ginger root, and a hot pepper (or more, depending on size of recipe & hotness of pepper). Mix with soy sauce, a dash of fish sauce, … and that’s it. Spread on stuff. Add a dash or two of water to thin it out if you want. Lovely.

    Or there’s my fallback lazy soup: fry some chopped sausage with garlic & onion. When they’re getting nice and lightly browned, add beans (white beans are nice), fry for a sec, then add broth (chicken or veggie). Finally, throw in a bunch of kale, cook until wilted. Delicious.

    • Brigitte

      I make that soup too! I also tend to throw in leftover veggies or pasta if I have any lying around.

  16. Katie K.

    I told someone at the store I work at today that walking past the Christmas decorations (many of which play music that is motion activated) before Halloween makes me hostile. I think I scared him a little.
    I think we are having quiche with shredded potato crust. I may cut up some apples and make a dip (cream cheese, peanut butter and brown sugar) for them. Not sure yet…

  17. Rachel

    We will also be having tacos tonight. But ours will be on blue corn shells. And we dye the sour cream to suit our whims. It’s gluten-free and can be carnivore or vegetarian. My darling middle child has become a vegetarian. I even made veg gumbo last night. Which she hated. The shrimp/sausage one was delicious, though!

    I think next time I’ll just fry tofu if we’re having a meat dish like the gumbo. But after she had steamed tofu and white rice for dinner Saturday night, I wanted her to have more food. (she who is vegetarian and hates Asian food was not fun to eat with at our local Chinese/Japanese/Thai restaurant)

    Tomorrow night, though, shall be lasagna.

    Good luck with the homeschooling! I may be doing that one with the same special snowflake child. She can’t handle the big bad high school, so it will either be homeschooling or private school.

  18. Damsel

    Oh, bananas. My husband “doesn’t like bananas”. I think he chooses not to eat them in hopes they’ll magically turn into banana bread.

  19. Heidi T

    Indian butter chicken for dinner – over rice I assume. And I might even go to the store and get Naan.

  20. diane

    Throwing mixed chunks of butternut squash, pumpkin and potatoes all covered with olive oil in the oven to roast. I suppose I should have a protein to go with it? Maybe a pork chop, with applesauce as a side.

    It got fall-ish here for all of one day; now it’s going back up into the mid-seventies. Boo.

    • Patricia

      Did you see the part where they showed the thermal on Webber’s car as it burned? Um — yeah — fire is hot! Thank you F1 for reminding me of that. (Followed quickly by the “that’s not the safety car”)

      And Mir — I have no idea what dinner will be — I can’t be bothered with trivial things like feeding my family, because they are just going to demand being fed tomorrow night and the night after that….Seriously, I’m basically willing to do this one night a week.

    • Pamela L

      That is awesome – Ooooooooh! is what I say, too.

  21. Issa

    I like the dramatic moistener.

    Um dinner…hmmmm, something with the chicken that I defrosted and didn’t use last night? Maybe fajitas since I have mini peppers that are molding and well I should salvage what I can. Or probably I should go buy new little peppers, because my kids know ours are molding and if I use them, no children will touch dinner. *eye roll*

  22. Brenda

    I don’t know if someone has asked this, but have you tried using one of those pet nail grinders for Licorice? I never tried one with our cat because his nails were white so I could see how far to cut.

  23. Brooke

    Sunday Night is traditionally “Mom’s Diner” night. It’s a lame attempt to make eating leftovers seem appealing! :)

  24. bonuela

    as someone who has made it through to the other side of THE GREAT MEDICATION ADJUSTMENT trust me that when you get there, and you will, it will be wonderful. after 2 years of trying this one and that one and then the one that made me worse, i found THE ONE. two months later i became the first person in the world to have to stop taking THE ONE for a side effect that 3 medical professionals swore it did not cause. it made me so dizzy i had to stop driving and hold onto walls while standing. (it worked so well otherwise that i actually considered hiring a driver and using a wheelchair) a couple more tries and i got it right. so……long story longer. changing meds is frustrating and annoying and might seem easier to settle for one that works kinda ok-ish, but don’t.

  25. Brigitte

    My meds have reduced the hatred and rage, but not the tired.

    We’re having mac n cheese (really the wagon-wheel shaped pasta and cheese) with broccoli mixed in so I don’t feel as guilty.

    I know I’m boring when FB reconnects me with people I haven’t seen in 20 years, and I really have nothing new to tell them!

  26. Suebob

    I love your scattered family tales. This is the kind of blogging I remember from the early days and still love best.

    At some point, comfort trumps excitement, at least for me. I mean, I’m up for a little excitement, but if you offer me a comfy chair and a comfy conversation, I’m going to chose that over standing in line for 4 hours to get into a music festival.

    I love the homeschooling tales. I may go swimming in the Great Wet Briny sometime soon. Or that may be too much excitement. Wanna come sit on the couch?

  27. Brigitte

    Oh, and if I could get rid of all those icky, pesky, extraneous humans, just one earth would be plenty! ;-D

  28. Alix D

    Mr. The Jeef had a biology prof who tried to take some of the pain out of doing punnet squares – you know the biology torture where they make you figure out the ods of John and Mary having a blond child if they both have the gene recessively, and all that? His quizzes included punnet squares for Red Hot Chili Peppers and Black Eyed Peas.

    The Peanut will yelp on principle alone if you try to pick up her back feet. I think overly dramatic is a small dog default state of being.

  29. jen_alluisi

    Three things: 1. THE UNIVERSAL MOISTENER – HAAAAAAAAAA!!! My littlest monkey dog, who is Licorice’s x-ray version (identical except white instead of black), is also TOTALLY the universal moistener. TOTALLY. Her latest moistening talent involves chasing the 11-month-old around licking the bottoms of her feet as she crawls. 2. As a former teacher and current manager of certification exam programs, I am appalled by the hilarious-yet-clearly-incorrect answers on Monkey’s test! I mean, that is like educational assessment 101 – it’s not a good assessment if the test-taker can automatically rule out two of the multiple-choice answers! Bad teacher! 3. For dinner I imagine we’re having leftovers: pan-fried turkey kielbasa, kale and apples, and cauliflower mash. That’s all we have prepared, and Mondays are not a good day for cooking afresh…

  30. Mary Fran

    I hate all the people today, too! But I really hate Mother Nature today because my plan for dinner WAS Mexican Chicken Soup. You know, because it’s OCTOBER. And I live on the OCEAN in NEW ENGLAND. So it SHOULD be soup weather. Instead, we have Atlanta humidity, winds, maybe some tornados and some rain coming. So I’m eating chocolate and I really don’t care what the rest of the humans who dare to share the house with me today eat.

  31. StephLove

    Cauliflower-pea curry, with this crazy orange cauliflower we found at the farmers’ market. I’m not sure if it will stay orange when cooked.

  32. Stacy

    I hate people too! I mean, seriously, have you met people?!? I completely understood your logic because that’s how I feel. And, we’re having meatballs sandwiches and salad for dinner.

  33. Eileen

    My kids are with their dad tonight and I will be having Life cereal for dinner. You’re welcome.

  34. Billie

    Spaghetti! All of the Taco answers has me thinking of switching. Maybe I should make both and put them together. :)

  35. not supergirl

    Dinner? Take-out. There’s a yummy noodle shop that has a discount on Monday nights. My older daughter has her last volleyball game tonight, so we’ll be rushed. I really needed no more reasons to go this direction. I’m pretty sure I cooked the last two nights. In a row. Also, when we attempting meal planning before grocery shopping yesterday (I hear the big kids do that, so i wanted to give it a shot), my younger daughter specifically requested this takeout for one of our nights. Um. OK.

    The Universal Moistener makes me think of Moist from Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog, the offer, “do you need anything dampened, or made soggy?”

    Also, tired and hating people. Check.

    However, I got to meet with a mom this past weekend who has two kids who share a language-based learning disability with one of my kids, and it was so sad and also validating to talk to her. Still, having your sadness validated isn’t terribly uplifting. At least I don’t feel quite as crazy now. Wow, this was supposed to be my cheery, optimistic response to my typical hateful/murderous mood, and it’s not really cheering me up. I need to rethink my approach.

    Regardless, I enjoyed and sympathized with your blog entry, and your hair looks especially nice from here.

  36. Tenessa

    I don’t like people much, either. I hear introverts generally don’t. So I feel better about my silent hatred.

    I am the same way about bananas. I don’t like them too ripe. I can’t stand the texture.

    For dinner I am making this http://shrinkingkitchen.com/sneaky-cheesy-taco-macaroni/

    My notes to myself on this recipe are as follows: “I salt and peppered the butternut squash after rubbing it down with coconut oil and then roasted it in the oven for close to an hour at 350 degrees. Then I pureed it. When I made the recipe above, I doubled the cheese (colby jack instead of cheddar) and added corn. Also, I used pinto beans, ground chicken, and homemade taco seasoning (1 tblsp of chili powder, garlic powder, onion powder, ground cumin, and half a tsp of red pepper flakes. I used two tablespoons in the recipe and I salted the chicken with sea salt when I was browning it. All in all, super tasty and super easy.”

    It’s great and makes lots of left overs good for freezing or lunches later in the week.

  37. Barb

    I hate people too. Well, except my husband and kids. Then again I hate them sometimes too, like when my husband gets all particular about that banana window. Is this as good as it gets? If you figure out dinner let me know. I’m still working on finding the ambition to even think about it.

  38. Cheryl

    I sat down yesterday and figured out a yummy menu plan for this week. Then I went shopping and bought all the ingredients for this menu plan. Then my daughter-in-law called to say that she had made a very large pot of soup and there was too much for the two of them. So……now I have this huge pot of soup simmering on the stove (instead of the planned meatloaf and scalloped potatoes), and a menu plan that may or may not get followed at all this week.

    Life – sometimes boring is good.

  39. RL Julia

    I am having a left over that perhaps your family would love!
    It’s this lasagna-thingy with savoy cabbage as the noodles and then layers of this pureed lentil mixture (lentils, diced tomatoes, Marscapone cheese, spices), fennel and gruyere cheese – then you cook the thing in the oven for an hour.

  40. Shannon W.

    Dinner: I planned for us to have crockpot chicken, butternut squash, and microwaved frozen veggies. Then I realized that my husband wasn’t going to be home and I didn’t want to listen to the kids whine about crockpot chicken and butternut squash alone. Some misery just needs company.
    New menu: hotdogs, chips, cantaloupe, and feeling slightly like a wimp.

  41. Sassy Apple

    I don’t hate people….I just hate going places. Is that the same thing?? This is not good when you have to go to work every day. Meds have helped, but it took lots of adjusting so hang in there.

    I have a chicken in the crock pot, along with carrots, celery and onions. Probably do a salad on the side…

    One of our ‘go to’ meals is a scramble: Turkey sausage, onions, peppers, mushrooms, spinach, tomatoes, eggs and cheese. One dish from stove to table. Obviously, Chickie would have to have a sausage free scramble.

  42. Mary K. in Rockport

    Beef stew to use up a partial bottle of red wine a guest left at our house. Bananas – my husband told our kids when they were little that the spots (on the inside) were honey, and he was very convincing. They told all the kids at their lunch tables. It took some years for our kids to discover the deception, then they were retroactively embarrassed.

  43. Mara

    ‘The great wet briny’ made me gigglesnort. Whoever wrote that quiz was having fun with it.

  44. Brittani

    Potato soup is what’s for dinner. My 3 year old may have learned a few new words today due to my hatred of others, specifically those who are poor drivers. And I have a bunch of bananas that are past their 6 hour window and need to be salvaged into muffins or something. Blah for rainy Mondays.

  45. Steph

    Dinner tonight will be chili… I’m ignoring the 80 degree weather in charleston. Ha!

    Steph
    Tailgate queen

  46. Tracey

    My new band name is: “I’m kind of tired? And also I hate everyone?” Or maybe that’s my mission statement. I don’t know. All I know is I identify with it deeply. :)

  47. Chuck

    Flying to Vegas today so no idea what I am having either. Steak, maybe?

  48. Jeanie

    We are pretty particular about our bananas around here, too. We prefer them without any speckles at all, nice and yellow with maybe a touch of green at the top. What am I having for dinner, you ask? WHAT AM I HAVING FOR DINNER??? Why, grilled cheese since my son and grandson ate all the delicious Shanley’s marinated chicken breasts I grilled yesterday with expectations of leftovers tonight. Not that I’m angry or anything. I hate everyone, too, sometimes.

  49. addy

    My body weight in salad cuz I’m lazy and all I have to do with that is throw it in a bowl.Our resident drama king will absolutely not let you near his toenails. Nope don’t even think about it. And if 75lbs of “I dont wanna” says stay away – you stay away. Make the vet do it – if you can get the big ole baby in the car…….

  50. Karen

    I’m 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant and I hate people as well. I in fact told my mother I was going to punch my OB in the face, so you are not alone.

    I made fettucine alfredo for dinner. It was very YUM. My secret ingredient is a pinch of nutmeg. It sends the sauce into a whole other Earth.

  51. karen

    Ooooh just hush. None of you people are people haters. You wouldn’t be here sharing and all if you didn’t have some sort of fondness for each other (people). Mir, you share yourself so generously here on this blog – trials and triumphs, victories, lumps bumps and bruises. I don’t think it’s a big giant ego that compels you to do it.

    And jeez, girl.. take the dog to your vet, they’ll do it in five minutes and it might cost you $5 or $10.

    Bananas – funny thing. Once they develop freckles around here they’re history. It’s that six hour period when they’ve lost any green-ness and are slipping toward that soft yellow with just the hint of future freckles that they are devoured around here.

  52. Sarah B.

    I hate people, too. Including the kids if they happen to piss me off, like the instant one of them gets off the couch and the other thinks that’s the time he should stretch out and put his feet in my face. Big, fat NO. They do the Window of Banana Acceptability thing, too. “The Ultimate Moistener” makes me cringe. Hang in there with the homeschooling. Oh, and for dinner we had ribs because I thawed them out and then realized I had to actually cook them.

  53. Chris

    The comments have made me covet many other’s dinners. We had Mexican casserole which is supposed to be made on crescent roll crust but we did it with tortilla chips to accommodate the gluten-free eaters. Tomorrow stickless steak leftovers and yesterday i made GF banana nut bread – once anywhere near ripe my girls will hold out for the bread option.

    Hang in there with the medication changes – hopefully you can find something that works.

  54. Elizabeth

    Just today I bought a journal. I used to menu plan each week, and then at the end of the week, I throw my plan out.

    From this day forward, all menu plans are made in the journal. After a month or two, I’ll have to think so much less. And if I keep going with this, when I go back to work after maternity leave, someone else can help with the shopping!

    Of course, the real trick will be sticking with it.

  55. Lily Starlight

    Thank you for this. I have a kid that is changing medication right now and he hates people…mostly he just hates me though. I will (try to) continue to be patient now that I know he can’t help it. I long for the day when I no longer sigh with relief when he leaves for school in the morning.

  56. jenn

    Hate people. Mostly my unreasonable clients. My children? Husband? Love them but would like to duct tape their mouths shut right now. Maybe it’s some weird phase of the moon.

    Dinner? Do people plan that before 6:30 pm? I have no idea.. .

  57. Monica

    Your children are correct about the size of the Banana window but wrong about it’s location. The banana must be yellow. Not green, not brown. I think the perfect family would be one in which each person had a different perfect banana window.

    As for people, individual people can be great. People as a group are morons and deserve your hatred. The medication might not be the issue is all I’m saying here ;)

  58. Kim

    I have mulligatawny in the crockpot. I was all excited about it until I realized that it’s from Foster Farms, and may be part of the salmonella outbreak, but we don’t really know because the government is shut down. I mostly hate the people in DC who are making really stupid decisions with no thought to the consequences right now. I;m pretty sure they know who they are.
    So I’ll may be poisoning my family tonight, or feeding them pizza.

  59. Kate

    School dinner tonight is baked turkey, scalloped potatoes, sauteed zucchini, salad/soup bar, and frozen yogurt. I doubt that helps – the food here, while good, still trends a bit institutional.

  60. Rosie

    My husband is an extrovert who hates people. I don’t understand it, either.

  61. Zuska

    OMG, the Banana Window!!! Same here!!! My freezer fills up quickly with bananas that are doomed to banana bread because they CANNOT BE CONSUMED in their overly ripened state! And when I try to sneak one in to her morning banana-yogurt shake, she actually can ID the days when an overly-ripe banana has been used.

  62. nicole

    people are the worst. and totally overrated.

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