When inappropriate is a family affair

By Mir
May 28, 2013

This Monday-on-Tuesday nonsense is kicking my butt, today, but I just had to share a brief glimpse of the lovely family hike we took yesterday while enjoying the holiday:

Monkey: Licorice keeps pulling me ahead.
Me: She is a small dog. You are a medium-sized boy. You should be winning.
Monkey: No, really, she pulls REALLY hard! She keeps dragging me.
Me: Dude, she weighs twelve pounds. Maybe it’s time for you to grow a pair.
Monkey: Of what?

Which prompted this simultaneous response of:
Chickadee: TESTICLES!
Otto: Boobs. Your mother is suggesting you grow boobs.

After the laughter died down, we then had:
Chickadee: You need them so you don’t have erectile dysfunction.
Monkey: What’s erectile dysfunction?
Chickadee: It’s when your erectile doesn’t work.
[She’ll be here all week! Tip your waitress!]
Otto: Sometimes Licorice has reptile dysfunction.
Me: Yeah, it’s when the lizard she’s chasing refuses to get in her mouth.
Otto: Ba dum bum!

Also? That’s what she said.


  1. Jean

    Can I just tell you how much I love this? I am so glad that we are not the only family that would have inappropriate conversations.

  2. Amanda

    Is it bad that I found the reptile part the funniest?

  3. deva

    I’m inappropriately giggling.

  4. diane

    The only place it’s really appropriate to have inappropriate conversations is with family members. How else can they become part of family history and be brought up at inappropriate moments for the rest of your lives?

  5. Holly Gault

    Okay, you guys are TOO MUCH.

  6. Tricia

    I hope that when my kids are the age that yours are, we’ll have similarly funny discussions. Thanks for the laugh.

  7. Jamie

    I keep hearing “ball” jokes from my 9 year old boy. Oh, they never get old…

  8. Arnebya

    The family that is inappropriate together stays together. My girls are currently on the word dick being a source of much fun. As in hilarity at my reading to the boy Hickory Dickory Dock. Seriously? Or a poem I’d never heard of before in a random book he found that said something about two little dicky blue birds. Oh, and balls. Any mention of balls and they’re on the floor with laughter. The boy said, “Want to play with my balls?” and even though he was holding two plastic balls and a bat, his sister said, “Dude, don’t say that to girls. Or wait, boys either, I think.” Ah, to be young again.

  9. Tenessa


  10. Heather

    I want to “like” this conversation!

  11. kapgaf

    Happy days! And about the balls ? Here in France, there is a Panzani (does that brand exist in the US?) meatball sauce. It’s called Bolo Balls, pronounced “bollow”.to rhyme with “follow”. Does the “gattocks, gateaux, bolleaux” joke exist in the US? Does this comment sound weird ? I will happily explain if there’s anyone out there who doesn’t understand and would like to. In the meantime, I shall keep thinking about reptile dysfunction…. would that be an alligator in your pool ? Sorry, I know that’s a four-letter word for you right now but I couldn’t resist. Keep on laughing.

  12. Rachel

    Yesterday my husband & son were going golfing & one asked the other if he had any balls. I snickered. My son (13 years old) shook his head & told me that was inappropriate. =)

  13. Chris

    Wow my girls boobs discussion seem mild now. I am both amused and feel better

  14. Sonya

    My daughter is 4 and her new favorite thing is to say “boobs” and talk about hers. My guess is it is only the beginning. She is her mother’s daughter!

  15. Lindsey

    I can’t stop laughing at this, all of it. Especially the reptile part, but all of it! So funny. :)

  16. margaret

    Inappropriate should be my family’s motto. I love it! A friend was on a road trip this week with her husband and daughters ages 13 and 16 ish. They started reading all the phrases on the billboards following them with the phrase “under the sheets.”

    Can reptiles have erectile…nevermind.

  17. Djurdjica

    That was hillarious. XD

  18. Aimee

    heh. I love a good inappropriate conversation!

  19. Brigitte

    *snicker, snicker*

  20. Kelly

    My almost 4 year old thinks adding the word poop to anything makes it funny…

    I personally just keep giggling about reptile dysfunction – even typing that has my giggling.

  21. not supergirl

    Loving this! I can’t wait until my girls are old enough to feel comfortable admitting they get our inappropriate jokes. Right now, my husband and I just feel challenged to get them to react. I can remember watching Saturday Night Live (wtf?) with my parents and pretending not to get any of the jokes so that they’d let me stay awake. ;)

  22. macwade

    I am sitting at my desk crying because I am trying not to laugh out loud.

  23. Katie in MA

    Where is the application to join your family, and how much is the fee? If I claim to be a “pool repairman” will I get special consideration? (And will you kick me out if what that means is that I come with duct tape?)

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