You know what’s weird? This coming weekend will mark Otto’s and my 6th year wedding anniversary. Married for six years! And still speaking to each other! And also making out occasionally (you know, when there’s nothing good on television)!
This makes me an expert on all things remarriage and such, of course. Except not. At all.
Naturally this means that I have a new post up over at Alpha Mom, all about the secret to successfully blending a family. My advice is worth exactly what it costs you! (I hope you’ll come check it out, anyway.)
Happy Anniversary!!!! And let me say, you are lucky that Otto wasn’t married before and had children. Being a completely “both sides” blended family is NOT easy! He has 3 and I have 2. Youngest was 12, oldest was 19 when we got married. That was 11 and half years ago….wasn’t always unicorns and rainbows, though! :)
Happy Anniversary! I described my upcoming (11th – yikes) anniversary to my mom as honoring the fact that we haven’t gotten divorced yet. Much like congratulating someone on their pregnancy is kind of like saying “HEY! You had SEX! And you made a person! YAY!”\
I just realized that I’ve been reading your blog longer than I’ve been married (almost seven years).
Happy anniversary! :)
Congratulations on the anniversary. A good partner is so precious!
The triumph of optimism over experience, and all that ;) Happy anniversary!
Happy Anniversary! Here’s to six years, blended families, and still wanting to make out with your husband. xoxo
Loved that piece and could write for decades on the subject. P.S. I also do divorces for a living. It always surprises me how many people don’t get the “don’t talk bad about the ex anywhere in the presence of the children”. They get it in essence, but not in practice. It is totally bad news. Just. Don’t. Do. It. Not even when the kiddos are adults and want to dish about the other parent. My husband calls me a saint for dealing with twin boys and a gal for 18 years plus, but I kind of, sort of, not really at my age at the time, knew what I was getting into. I was prepared as the gal of a divorced/somewhat blended family to know how to (1) interact with the kiddos; (2) try to imagine that real mama was somehow a saint (even though we saw her through drug rehab, self righteousness, etc.); and (3) realize that I loved my husband way more than the proverbial rocks that were being thrown at me. It is important to note that life was indeed tough for several years.
But, and the but is the most important part, if you get rid of the personal baggage (or at least store it away in a closet that you say you will clean out one day), life can be fun and funny. The biggest advice is to get rid of your ego-whether you are stepparent or parent married to stepparent.
And the rest is love (even if someone has to fake it for a minute), respect (again, even if you have to fake it for a minute), fun (and I don’t mean amusement park fun, but every day fun), and patience. Patience heals!
Your family seems to have hit on those high points. I love that your daughter made fun of that book and basically said, “this may be what your little book says, but I am calling BS because I am not Dora the Explorer, but thanks nonetheless”. Chicky rocks! Otto rocks too as his assertion may be the best way to deal with stepchildren-made it about you and not him. Wanna teach a course to our soon to be divorced vitriols?
I’ve really been reading your blog for over six years? Really? It can’t be. It started with the grotesque cat spider, which I still have nightmares about… and I remember your dress and the American Idol Jordyn Sparks wearing the exact same one. Happy anniversary!