Many exciting things

By Mir
May 28, 2011

Memorial Day weekend is fast shaping up to be a barn-burner, over here. I don’t really even know what that means, but hey, I am taking a lot of drugs, so it seems appropriate somehow.

First, fence update! Guess what! No, really, you will NEVER GUESS. Oh. You guessed. Hmph. Yeah, that’s right—the fence is still not done. Oh, technically there is now fence all the way around the pool area, at least (though even that was looking doubtful until shortly before we left town), but we have yet to negotiate the fixing/replacement of all the damaged stuff, so that awaits us on our return. Awesome. I am planning to take EXTRA drugs before that happens, fall into a deep stupefied slumber, and make Otto deal with it.

Second, camping update! Guess what! Okay, this one you may not guess. We hitched up on Thursday and towed here to South Carolina (state motto: Super pretty, and right next door to Georgia), and then we set up camp and tried to decide what to do first. Only, before we could decide, the heavens opened up and it POURED. But then it stopped, and that was okay, because we figured we would do something fun on Friday. Except on Friday, it poured again! And today is looking decidedly gray. So. I have renamed this camper Our Very Expensive Mobile Board Gaming Unit.

(On the bright side, Qwirkle expertise is growing by leaps and bounds. And really, can you put a price on that? You cannot.)

Third, tongue update! In desperation I brought the pain pills the doc had prescribed, even though they upset my stomach the other day, thinking that perhaps if I took them with food I would be okay. Well, the good news is that I was right—taken with food, they don’t make me sick. They just make me unconscious. So I spent most of Friday asleep. Which I’m guessing was preferable to my family to me sitting around whining that it huuuuuuuurts, how can one little cut in my tooooooongue hurt sooooooo muuuuuuuuch?

Furthermore—squeamish people, do not read this paragraph—I woke up with my face and bedcovers encrusted in blood, terrified I’d ripped my tongue out in the night or something. But no! I had merely (I am not kidding, STOP READING IF SQUEAMISH), um, chewed off two of my three stitches. One of them was stuck in my teeth and the other one is MIA. YOU ARE WELCOME FOR SHARING. The good news there is that I think the stitches were more uncomfortable than the wound, because it doesn’t hurt quite so much today. And if a large chunk of my tongue falls out of my mouth I guess I’ll call the surgeon to inquire, but otherwise I’m just going to take a lot of Advil and call it good.

And finally, Licorice is a happy camper, so there’s that:

She would like you to know that regardless of stupid fences or rain or bloody tongues, there are many squirrels here that require watching.


  1. Navhelowife

    You know you’re in my state, right? And probably in the same section of it :) We are seeing the same clouds, but I’m hoping no rain.
    Enjoy your camping and I will try to order some nice SC weather for you. And I’ll have all the dogs run the squirrels out of my yard and send them your way. Apparently if you are a squirrel or a robin, my dogs hate you. Grackles and Terminix men? You’re just fine.
    Have a nice weekend!

  2. Varda (SquashedMom)

    Wow, what an update! I am hoping that: the weather clears up, your tongue feels better, the fence fairies show up at your house and magically fix everything while you are gone. Well, 2 out of 3 ain’t bad. Have a lovely (unconscious) weekend!

  3. Megan

    Hey, these days, unconscious sounds FAB to me!

    We have waaaaay too much sunshine here – I’ll put in a request for a transfer, but I’ll warn you, the weather ’round here works almost as well as fence crews!

  4. Groovecatmom

    Here’s hoping everything–weather, tongue, fence–clears up soon. You poor, poor bunny. Yikes.

  5. Shannon

    Like Helowife, we’re in SC, too. Drop an email if you need an excursion. We can meet you for a meal, show you a museum or other public attraction that’s empty this weekend while everyone’s at the beach – or you’re welcome to pop by and we’ll toss all of the kids and dogs into the backyard and pour deep drinks. We have no pool but we do have a full fence, LOL. Licorice can mingle with ours who are currently intent on drowning out the fire engines’ sirens with the howling.

  6. Michelle B.

    Despite the bad news it delivers – I love this post – it is genuinely funny and enjoyable until you remember the woes it describes. Bless your heart.

  7. Beth

    Any camping trip during which the rain waits until AFTER you have set up is one blessed by the weather gods. I hope they relent enough to let you have some fun as well this weekend.

  8. karen

    Well thank God for the squirrel population. OMG you chewed your stitches. More meds, Mir.


  9. MomCat

    Sometimes I long for unconsciousness. Tongue biting stories always make me squirm, because I bit my tongue nearly off during a fall from the monkey bars when I was a kid and had to have it stitched back on. Gahh. Bless your heart.

  10. Kathy

    YAY!!! Have a great weekend camping. You deserve to laugh and love and be loved! Take advantage! Can’t wait to see all the happy place pics on Tuesday. Remember the happy place as you deal with the damn fence!!

    And just so you know … I was not squeemed out by “the paragraph”! I can take it!
    The stitches in your teeth part was FUNNY. If it isn’t to you yet, trust me, it will be!!

    Have fun!

  11. Heather

    I didn’t pass out at the “squeamish” bits, but then again, I have a nurse for a mama ;-) I did, however, go, ohhhh poor Mir!! I hope your unconsciousness is very restful and healing!

  12. RuthWells

    See, that right there is why I don’t go camping. Too much gore.

  13. Julie

    GAWH! Fence STILL not done? Yup…they’ll be paying you to keep it at this point :) Hope you heal up soon!

  14. Sheila

    You might’ve tried leaving the stuff on your face until the next time you had to see the fence guys and subtly let them know that you were driven to TONGUE-RIPPING MADNESS by the fence install. I bet that’d get them working right quick, if only so they would not have to talk to you again.

    But I bet you’ve washed your face by now. Alas.

  15. Birchsprite

    Oh that sounds very sore… Hope the rest of the weekend is going well though, despite weather and hurty tongues !

  16. The Mommy Therapy

    The camping part sounds fun. The rest, maybe not so much.

    Just FYI, if you were thinking of trying to get a tattoo while you are in SC you are most likely out of luck. Last time I was there (about 12 years ago and in my early twenties) I thought I really wanted a tattoo and was very surprised to learn that can’t happen there.

    I have since never gotten that elusive tattoo, which lost it’s luster once I returned from vacation.

    Just thought I should warn you in case you were all planning to get family camping tattoos or something. You never know…

  17. Kira

    I really need to pay better attention to your warnings. I am very, very sorry, darling. Mostly, I am sorry that your tongue hurts, but part of the sorry is for me and the lurid mental pictures. Urg.
    Feel better! May the rain leave you alone and the fencing gods smile on you!

  18. Chris

    I have said it before, and I will say it again…your ability to match your personal suffering with inappropriate activities (tongue+camping=WTF) is unmatched.

  19. Liza

    You are very funny when all doped up. Not that you aren’t funny perfectly sober, but it is a new and diverting sort of funny, which I appreciate your sharing. And I look forward to you being off drugs, because quite frankly, I prefer the razor wit to the bloody descriptions. Even though both are very funny to read. (I strongly prefer reading about the blood to experiencing it directly, so thanks for reminding me how true that is.)

  20. Jessica

    Okay, so I just came over here to read this after I checked my email and before I went to bed, and I am now afraid I will chew my tongue off tonight! I mean, it totally sounds like it could happen, now that I know what happened to you. On the bright side, maybe your teeth grinding habits are now subconsciously attempting to make your tongue not hurt as much and somehow your teeth knew you’d feel better without stitches. (I mean, really, it’s not like your tongue’s guts are going to fall out or anything, right? There’s nothing loose in there or anything, so I think you’re safe.)

    By the way, I had to pass that paragraph on to my husband (and my niece, who happens to be staying with us for a few weeks), and you should have seen his face! That was priceless. ;)

  21. Katie in MA

    You know….perhaps if you stood outside and stuck your tongue out at the fence guys, they would finish the job a lot quicker.

    (Apparently, I can find the silver lining even when my material includes holey tongues. Heh.)

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