Traditional; modern; cerebral

By Mir
May 11, 2011

We have arrived once again at the portion of our program where life needs to pause, briefly, so that Otto and I can contemplate our life together. The fact that I have been half-joking for weeks that thinking too hard about this past year can only lead to madness was not a deterrent to my handsome husband; today’s our anniversary/familyversary and that means CELEBRATION.

Regular readers may recall that last year on our anniversary, Otto looked up the traditional 3rd anniversary gift and found that it was leather. Not wanting to deal with a vegetarian-staged protest over his gifting attempt, he elected, instead, to buy us all crystal sun catchers for the kitchen (crystal being the “modern equivalent,” though I’m still wondering how leather turns into crystal, exactly).

I had a feeling that perhaps a tradition had just been started, but I didn’t know for sure until this morning.

Apparently the traditional gift for the fourth wedding anniversary is either fruit or flowers. I would’ve been happy with an apple, but leave it to Otto to make sure we get something that lasts—today at breakfast, the kids and I each received our own rose bushes.

Red for me, pink for Chickadee, and yellow for Monkey. (“Sorry, I couldn’t find any green roses,” Otto told Monkey, before he could complain that they weren’t his favorite color.) They’re perfect. Beautiful and thorny, just like the people I love best.

It’s been 90 degrees here for the last few days, so I felt a little silly presenting Otto with his gift of some new “wicked good” slippers from LL Bean, but he’ll need them this winter. “I don’t know if I always keep your heart warm,” I told him, “but as long as we’re married, I promise to keep your feet warm.” He laughed, which was the goal.

Besides, that wasn’t his real present. I gave him his real present yesterday, as evidenced by this unretouched IM conversation we had when I got back from my doctor’s appointment:

Mir: When the doctor asked me today if there was any particular stress that precipitated this depressive episode, I said “My son has Asperger’s and my daughter… is thirteen.”
Mir: That seemed explanation enough.
Otto: HA
Otto: So, you got a truck load o’ meds?
Mir: More like a pocketful. But yes.
Mir: And a list of therapists.
Otto: Good.
Mir: yep
Otto: And good again.
Otto: I know it isn’t about me, but thank you for going and talking with her.
Otto: I just want you to be happy.
Mir: Happy anniversary! I got you some… LESS CRAZY!
Otto: How did you know?
Mir: Hooray!
Otto: It’s EXACTLY what I wanted.

I already got what I wanted, four years ago. But the roses are nice, too. And I’m looking forward to the Less Crazy.

Happy anniversary, Otto. I don’t know why you put up with me, but I’m so very glad that you do. I love you more all the time, and you’ll always be my favorite.


  1. ccr in MA

    That’s awesome. LESS CRAZY would make a good gift for a range of occasions. Though I do also love roses.

  2. Leandra

    Happy anniversary, you two! Less crazy is always good, no matter how you get there. Here’s hoping the next year is less crazy, too.

  3. Lisa

    Happy Anniversary! I love a good love story, and you two are it! :)

  4. Jenna

    Happy Anniversary you two!!

  5. Mary

    Happy Anniversary! I love when people are TRULY in love – like you guys!

  6. bob

    Congratulations and happy anniversary.

  7. Lynn in Mass

    Happy Anniversary, Mir & Otto!
    Sweet story and love that the whole family is included in the Anniversary

  8. Daisy

    Sigh. This type of conversation is common in my household. I am under treatment for depression, my 19yo has Asperger’s, my job situation sucks, but my husband is the most wonderful on Earth.

    Aren’t we lucky?

  9. Hally

    Happy Anniversary Mir & Otto! I love that he gets the kidlets presents as well. Congrats!

  10. Em

    Happy Anniversary!

  11. Teresa]

    Is it too late to start the anniversary tradition? Because I LOVE that. Even though we don’t do gifts for anniversaries. Of course our next one is the 4th, and I kill plants and it is in January. So I don’t know how well that will go. But its still awesome.

  12. Michele

    Happy Anniversary and Happy Familyversary!

  13. Deirdre

    Happy anniversary! Great gifts from each to each. Love the rosebushes, especially because my family is beautiful (to me) but thorny.

  14. Damsel

    Happy anniversary!!! What an awesome post. I’m all teary at work, AGAIN. :)

  15. Leslie

    Happy Anniversary! I, too, am working on that Less Crazy thing. The IM conversation made me laugh. I don’t have an Otto right now, but I hope when I find one he is as great as yours, Mir. Enjoy your day!

  16. Tracy B

    ♫♪♫HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!♫♪♫ I love the traditional gift giving…it makes it easy! ;o)

  17. Kristi

    Happy Anniversary to you all!

  18. Aimee

    I think there are probably a lot of people who would like to get LESS CRAZY for a gift.

    Happy Anniversary, you two!

  19. Susan

    Happy Anniversary!

  20. Jill W.

    Happy Anniversary!

  21. parodie

    Awwwww. You guys are adorable.

  22. Michelle B.

    Happy anniversary and here’s to warm feet and less crazy (and everything in between)!

  23. Kayt

    Happy anniversary! I gave my husband and I less crazy for Valentine’s Day. My Celexa and I are very good friends now. Best family present ever!

  24. Christina

    I love it! All of it! Happy Anniversary/Familyversary to you all!

  25. Rachel

    Happy Anniversary!

  26. Megan

    And know what? Less Crazy always fits!

    The rose bushes? Way cool. Otto knows how to do anniversaries RIGHT.

  27. Sheila

    Happy Anniversary to you two crazy kids.

    Wait… er, I mean crazy in a good way. Maybe I should say LESS CRAZY kids? Ah, I hope you know what I mean. Enjoy your roses, thorns and all.

  28. suzie

    Happy Anniversary!

    I always tell my husband (my own version of your Otto) that he’s my favorite! But then I feel guilty that I’ve slighted the kids, and so end up adding all these caveats. ;)

  29. Jean

    Happy anniversary!!

  30. Lisse

    “They’re perfect. Beautiful and thorny, just like the people I love best.”

    I love this line! Happy anniversary.

  31. Monique

    Happy Anniversary!

  32. Karen R.

    Happy anniversary! And here is hoping for a little (or a lot) less stress. AS plus 13 — highly stress worthy. I used to joke about having one autistic daughter, plus one who was *really* difficult. :-) Said difficult child grew up into a lovely adult, so there is hope.

  33. Varda (SquashedMom)

    Happy Anniversary! How I love (and can relate to) this line: “They’re perfect. Beautiful and thorny, just like the people I love best.”

    Enjoy the “Less crazy,” working on that myself these days.

  34. Brandi

    I got my husband the less crazy too in January.. he said he’s happy I stopped yelling all the time. I’m happy that I stopped, too!

  35. Heather

    Happy anniversary, you two crazy kids <3

  36. Grace

    What a sweet story. I’d presented my partner with less crazy as a gift before, too, and I’m pretty sure it’s the best one I’ve ever given him. :)

  37. Melanie

    Happy Anniversary!!

  38. Dawn

    All I want for Christmas is a reasonable facsimile of Otto. He sounds like a keeper.

  39. Angela

    Happy Anniversary! Less crazy is always the best gift!

  40. Scottsdale Girl

    YAY! Happy Anni/Fami/Versary!!!!!!

  41. The Mommy Therapy

    I love the rose bushes, and adore the fact that you celebrate all of you coming together, not just you and Otto. Fantastic!

    Congratulations on unloading a little of your crazy. Therapy is amazing.

  42. Susan

    Love, love, love humor in a marriage ~ keeps you going during some dark and dreary times. Best wishes on this anniversary!

  43. Amelia

    Sigh. So, so sweet. I love it.

    And I’m glad you saw someone :).

  44. Nancy

    Happy Anniversary!

  45. Beth R

    Happy Famiversary!!!!

    You made me sniffle a bit :)

  46. amy

    Happy Anniversary!

  47. Beth in Iowa

    Hope your anni/famiversary has continued to be a lovely one!

  48. jennamom2boys

    Aww, how sweet. Happy familyversary! Love the rose bushes. (And congrats on getting meds. I am a big, big fan of meds, and less crazy in general.)

  49. Lara

    Aww .. You two are priceless together. Love the familyversary idea. Happy Anniversary!

  50. addy

    Happy Anniversary Mir and Otto. Keep at it you’re doing amazing together!!

  51. Lady M

    Happy Anniversary!

  52. Cele

    You guys are so cute to watch.

  53. Brigitte

    Happy, happy, joy, joy! And cheers for modern chemistry!

  54. Alison

    Happy, Happy Anniversary!!! Wishing you many, many more years of happiness and thoughtfulness.

  55. Otto

    At first glance, I thought the title to this post was, “Traditional, modern, cereal” and thought you were about to make fun of my preference for Grape Nuts in the morning. Again.

    But while less crazy is good, you as you is just better. And all three of you are beautiful and thorny – and that’s why I’m sticking around.


  56. Katie in MA

    Mir, we love Crazy You, we love Less Crazy You, we love all the Yous. And we especially love the You you are as half of Mir&Otto. Wishing you and the fam many, many crazyhappy years together. :)

  57. Nancy R

    Happy Anniversary! Totally thought you were leading up to a fruit flower bouquet.

  58. karen

    Oh, I just still really love that Otto. And grapenuts in the morning, with hot milk.

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