Party planning can be stressful business, because there are so many factors that go into hosting the perfect event. Can you manage all of the preparation on your own? Do you have the time and resources to clean your house? What food do you have planned for your guests?
Well, let’s face it. None of that really matters. If you want to have an evening of entertainment for a group of people, all you really need to do is make sure that you have Balderdash on hand, or—if you were lucky enough to pick one up at a yard sale for a quarter, like me—Beyond Balderdash. These games are guaranteed hilarity and entertainment, played properly.
But played IMPROPERLY, they’re even better. And I am willing to rent out members of my family to enhance your Balderdash experience. We feature low rates and a guaranteed laugh-until-it-hurts experience.
If you’re unfamiliar with Balderdash, the rules are pretty simple. Each round has the “dasher” reading off an unusual word (or, if you have Beyond Balderdash, maybe a movie title or date or something else, but let’s talk about words), after which all the rest of the participants have to make up a definition for said word. The dasher then collects all submissions, writes down the real definition to include in the pile, and reads aloud all possibilities. Points are awarded both for guessing the correct definition or to whoever manages to write a crazy definition that others vote for. There is an ENTIRE SECTION in the rules about not giving away which definition is the one you wrote, as this hampers potential voting for your entry. There are also suggestions about how to come up with something plausible and other useful tips.
Bearing this in mind, here are the options we have your enjoyment:
Option 1: Self-Hilarity. Choose this option if you feel your game would best be served by a small boy who guffaws uncontrollably the moment you start to read his definition. He is JUST SO FUNNY, he cannot help himself! Also, his definitions almost always include the words “buttocks” or “fart.” Sometimes both. No wonder he can’t stop laughing.
This model is available for the low, low cost of a handful of potato chips.
Option 2: The Guilty Party. Select this model if you feel gameplay is best enhanced by every definition reading being followed by a solemn hand raised in the air, followed by the deadpan declaration, “That one was mine.” When paired with Option 1 this is still crazy annoying, but you can’t help but laugh. (Seat them across the table from each other for maximum enjoyment. He writhes around in his seat with delight while she insists that really, that one is hers. As is the next one. And the one after that. Which means he keeps laughing.) If playing Beyond Balderdash and inventing a persona for a person, she’ll probably claim the fellow in question was a past president of the United States. But then, all of the answers are hers, so who’s counting?
This model is available for the low, low price of somma that grapefruit.
Option 3: Totally Obvious. Select this option if you’d like all definitions to utilize a part of the target word verbatim or to feature an object in the room where the game is being played. We suggest this option if you enjoy a bit of mental calisthenics, as this is actually a cutthroat strategy; “Nah, that’s too obvious… isn’t it?” Many will fall for these made-up definitions.
This model is available for the low, low cost of a glass of iced coffee.
Option 4: History, Geography. Although slightly different than Totally Obvious, this model is also useful if you’re looking for some official-sounding options. Most answers center around semi-plausible events in history or little known geographical facts. Players can only avoid being suckered in by remaining vigilant for periodic (terrible) puns, the telltale sign of this model’s handiwork.
This model is available in exchange for being quiet and letting him watch the entire Formula 1 race uninterrupted, beforehand.
Option 5: Officially Silly. This model provides endless strings of very serious-sounding definitions, assuming those definitions were all for things located in a Dr. Seuss book or a Viagra commercial. No, I can’t explain it any better than that. As an added bonus, Officially Silly is embarrassingly prone to voting for Self-Hilarity’s definitions, which further convinces Self-Hilarity that he is 1) hilarious and 2) AWESOME!, so that’s a valuable side benefit you get here for absolutely FREE!
This model available in exchange for a single, plaintive, “Please, Grandpa?” But sharing the potato chips is probably a good idea, too.
Option 6: Wordy McWorderson. This model gives your thesaurus a workout, operating on the principle that more words sound more official, and bigger words somehow create a kind of confusion where the listener is left feeling like “That one must be right because it sounded kind of important.” Unfortunately, this only works for the first few rounds, after which Wordy resorts to writing borderline-dirty definitions whenever one of the kids is the dasher, just to watch them squirm while having to read it out loud.
This model available as a free companion to any of the other models, or for a square of dark chocolate.
I totally just saved your next party. You’re welcome!