Entire subscriptions, really

By Mir
March 22, 2011

I have trust issues.

(Okay, let’s be clear: I have LOTS of issues, all over the place. Not saying my only issues are with trust. But if I get into the rest of it, we’ll be here all day. Possibly all week.)

Anyway. I realized while writing yesterday’s post that I still have trust issues; it’s complicated, of course, but I am very quick to lash out if I feel someone has kicked me while I’m down. Although I meant yesterday’s words in a general way, I regret writing them as a reaction (okay, an overreaction). But then, lately I have a lot of regrets about a lot of things.

Today I have a post over at Off Our Chests about trust. Because I’m learning that not every hurt feeling means you can’t be trusted, but I’m kind of a slow learner.


  1. Christina

    I, too, am sometimes too quick to react at a perceived hurt. After the fact, I feel a little embarrassed, but in the long run I figure it’s better to get things off your chest when you need to. Hope you are having a better day!

  2. Rachael

    And perfection issues come from a feeling of rejection, wanting to please people and keep them all happy with you (so says a perfectionist, too).

  3. Nikki

    I just stumbled upon your blog yesterday.. What caught my eye was the title-woulda, coulda, shoulda- perfect life description(mine anyways). I really liked the Hardship Olympics post. I was just writing a couple of days ago on my blog about my struggles with depression. I didnt really say that friends and family are telling me there are worst things… I wrote more about myself thinking that. I have friends that have children with chronic medical issues, some life or death and as a mother I feel as though -yes my life could be worse, I should shut up and deal because I got it good. Yada yada. I need to cut myself a break.
    Although someone did say to me that I dont really know what it is like to be lonely-no kids, no wife(recently divorced, has kids only part of the time). Unfortunately I was participated in the Hardship Olympics, and lashed back.. He doesnt know what it is like to be lonely even though your home is filled with kids and love..
    Well, just wanted to say I like the post and I think I will reference it over at my blog-I think it is a good lesson.
    Cant wait to read more of your stuff.

  4. The Mommy Therapy

    Oh boy. Regardless of why you wrote it, Hardship Olympics was one of my favorite posts.

    I actually had a nasty comment on my blog yesterday, that I am still trying to get used to receiving from complete strangers since they can really hurt.

    (I’m so nice, why would anyone not think I’m nice?)

    Anyway, I immediately thought of your fantastic post and assumed that person was just going through too much to be kind and clearly they should have been reading your blog yesterday, not mine since they needed your wisdom.

    Reaction or overreaction, it’s the truth and you were honest and I LOVED it!

  5. Ruth

    I, too, have serious trust issues, and your blog made me stand up and take notice (again). I very easily toss people on the not-perfect pile. Some, I have found, need to stay there, but others I might have handled differently. I am hoping to get to the point where I can have that pause before action, or in my case, indifference, that relegates them to the pile. Thanks for turning my brain on today.

  6. Megan

    I have trust issues-ish, but far more on the other side where I write something, suddenly am CONVINCED it will be taken the wrong way (when, when will I learn that irony does not translate well in comments?) and then agonize all night long.

  7. 12tequilas

    This is so *not* the point, but: my mom kept sugar cubes in a glass canister, the kind you cork shut. They were visible and at eye-level, so very sneakable. I can’t remember if we ever got caught.

    -sigh- I totally want a sugar cube now. There are sugar packets here at the office but it’s not the same.

  8. Nancy R

    I didn’t think yesterday’s post was so out of line – and I didn’t even read the comments on the post before that…sadly, I’ve been reading blogs long enough that I could easily imagine.

    There seems to be so little consideration given to basic manners these days – slapping it out there in a blog post may just be the best way to educate people.

  9. Apocalypstick


  10. JennyM

    I think I trust, but cynically. As others have expressed, the forgiving is easy. It’s the forgetting that’s the hard part. It’s “strike-that-from-the-record” syndrome — I was telling a friend the other morning about how my ex-to-be (thank you mandatory 1-year waiting period!) had said things to me during the crumbling of our marriage that, although I can understand objectively where they were coming from, they were hurtful; criticisms of my family and my friends that were, by extension, criticisms of me, dealing as they did with the people I love and respect and spend time with, people who raised me. They were things that I can’t now *un*hear, and things I’m not sure I would ever get over secretly wondering if that’s still what he thought. I don’t know, maybe the essence of true forgiveness and pure trust is the willingness and ability to truly forget — not in the sense of absentmindedness, but in the sense of a mindful shutting the door on something and why it was painful. I’m afraid in some instances that requires a kind or depth of grace I don’t possess. And then I guess that’s where faith and God come in, and…. Oh, look something shiny over there. [crawls back in her hole]

  11. Lynn in Mass

    I too have trust issues.
    I agree with JennyM, The forgiving is easy. It’s the forgetting that’s the hard part.

  12. Daisy

    I’ve told people that an earthquake elsewhere may be a more serious hardship, but it doesn’t take their own hardships away. Those huge disasters in other places may put things in perspective, but it sure doesn’t cure my coworker’s cancer or save my job contract.

    That said, the downside of a good memory like mine is that I can forgive, but I rarely forget. It’s really hard to let go.

  13. Em

    You wanna talk about trust issues? (Is that the opening ceremonies to the Hardship Olympics? Must be! There goes the torch “My torch is heavier than your torch, you know!”) Anyway, I know I have trust issues but don’t trust a therapist enough to even go to one and work them out. Example of my trust issues: My children have not been the passenger of any driver but myself or my husband. Ever, Never had a playdate I wasn’t in attendance of, never had a sleepover even at my parents house. Basically, I am sizing them for a bubble.

    All of this to say – I hear you, girl. Your Crazy Hat fits me too!

  14. mamaspeak

    If you want, I’ll take the credit for yesterday’s post. I would love to be able to communicate so well. Doesn’t matter what prompted it, it was spot on. I even used it as an example to the anon comment (which was RUDE) The Mommy Therapy’s blog, bc it’s true.

    If you want me to re-post as my own, just let me know. I got your back. ;-)

  15. Brigitte

    Don’t regret yesterday’s post, it resonated with so many of us! It needed to be said, whether or not it was done as a reaction to a specific troll, I mean commenter.

Things I Might Once Have Said


Quick Retail Therapy

Pin It on Pinterest