It may be time to rethink my default email closing. It’s supposed to look like this:
First of all, I’m a little concerned that in some unconscious corner of the brain, that gets read as “I’m the best, yeah, me, that’s right, I’M THE BEST MIR!” And I don’t want to come off like a pretentious egomaniac in an email, when there’s PLENTY of time to give that impression in person, you know? (Kidding! Totally kidding. I’m pretentious but I have esteem issues, dontchaknow.)
Second of all, there’s simply too much potential for butchery as my fingers fly.
What am I betting them? Or am I asking them to bet ON me, like I’m a good bet? Confusing.
There is so much wrong with that I don’t even know where to start. I am a beast? I LIKE beasts? I am calling THEM a beast? So wrong. Naturally, it is my most common error when trying to type out those two words and hit “Send” in a hurry.
I should put a masque on my face while I’m just sitting here. I’m waiting on a couple of checks in the mail and EVERYONE KNOWS the fastest way to summon a postal carrier to your door is to smear clay all over your face.
[HAND OVER MY HEART: I put it on and the postlady pulled up. Works every time.]
I need to pack tomorrow. Okay. Wait, when was the last time I did laundry? Need to do laundry first. After I finish this assignment. Wait. What was I doing?
Working. Laundry. Thinking about packing.
Looking forward to smuggling my hair gel through airport security again, I must say. It’s become my personal little badge of
Hungry. Too early for lunch? No! Yay! Oh, I hate all the food in the fridge. And the pantry. Possibly because none of it is covered in butter. Could I have popcorn for lunch? WHY NOT? This is why people work from home. Awesome.
My iPhone was acting wonky so I did the Reset Settings thing but now it’s doing a hundred little things that drive me nuts because apparently there were settings, before, and I had fixed them but now they’re undone. Like, I really don’t want to hear the number tones when I dial on the keypad, but I can’t seem to figure out where to turn that off. Because I am stoopid.
Facebook is screwing with me. Periodically I get a “report” on how Want Not’s fan page is doing, and then it will say helpful things like “Mir, Want Not has only had two new fans this week. YOU’RE A LOSER.” Well, I may be paraphrasing a tad, but it’s something like that. So I set out to up the number of fans because apparently I am supposed to care about this, and I put a reminder on Want Not and then I go do The Dreaded Thing.
The Dreaded Thing is where I click the “suggest to your friends” button and invite people to fan Want Not, which always reminds me of Joshilyn’s post about a jerk she met who then proceeded to send out invitations to his fan page that basically read Big Jerk has become a fan of Big Jerk and thinks you might like to be a fan of Big Jerk, too.
But NEVERMIND, I will puff up my chest and tell everyone OH HAI, I’m a fan of ME, would you like to be a fan of me, too? And then I click and YAY, more fans on Facebook! But wait, the number of fans among my friends dropped. WAIT. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?
I refresh again and the numbers change and I have not lost friend-fans but I strongly suspect that Facebook is just reminding me that every time I ask people to fan my page, God kills a kitten.
Oh, well. Popcorn for lunch it is!