The way the cookie crumbles

By Mir
July 6, 2010

“Must you MOCK ME so?” asked Otto, in response to yesterday’s entry.

I considered his question for a moment. “Yes. Yes, I must. Thank you for asking.”

[Do you ever wonder what keeps him here? I wonder, quite often. I mean, Otto is smart, funny, charming, capable, and totally hot. All I bring to this relationship is a couple of high-maintenance children, copious amounts of mockery, repeated requests for popcorn, and a dog with periodic digestive issues. I can only conclude that I must be positively mind-blowing in bed.]

Otto rolled his eyes. Naturally, I took that as a challenge.

“I think maybe we’re going to have Otto Week on the blog, in fact,” I continued. “All Otto, All The Time. This is going to be FUN.”

This happened in response to dinner last night, and really, he just makes it too easy. See, we were eating, enjoying our meal, no problems. I don’t know how the topic of milk and cookies came up, but somehow we started talking about it and Otto started talking about how he really wanted some cookies.

“So have some cookies,” I said. “We have cookies in the pantry.”

Otto hasn’t been eating cookies, because Otto has been low-carbing with me. (Otto’s idea of supporting me on my diet is to eat exactly the way he always has for six months while I give up everything that tastes good and struggle to lose 12 pounds, and THEN to decide to join me and promptly lose 15 pounds in the first two weeks. Jerk.) But it’s SUMMER! And I realized that Chickadee had never seen Otto have milk and cookies, and I wanted some corroboration that he’s a freak.

“Hey Chickadee, you’re going to LOVE this. Otto, tell her what you do.” He glared at me. I’ve mocked him enough on this issue that he knew exactly what I meant.

Chickadee turned to Otto, expectant. Otto rolled his eyes and cleared his throat. “Don’t you like to have milk with your cookies?” Otto asked her, a paragon of reasonableness.

“Sure…?” she said, gaze flickering back and forth between us, waiting for the catch.

“Exactly,” he said. “EVERYONE likes milk and cookies together. Do you DIP your cookies in the milk?”

“Sometimes…?” she answered.

“Well there you go,” said Otto, smug.

“Oh COME ON,” I exploded. “Otto, dipping cookies in milk is NOT what you do. Chickadee, let me ask you something. Have you ever dropped an entire cookie into your glass of milk, and LEFT IT THERE TO DISINTEGRATE?”

“EWWWWWWWWW!” She visibly recoiled in her seat. Otto threw his hands into the air.

“It’s the same thing as dipping!” he said. “Except it’s EVEN BETTER because the cookie flavors the milk, a little, and then it’s completely soaked and delicious after you eat the rest of your cookies and drink the milk! It’s COOKIE AND MILK PERFECTION!”

Chickadee was still writhing in her seat. I got up to fetch the cookies, because I knew it needed to be seen to be believed.

Otto poured himself a glass of milk and then dropped a cookie into it. It floated on the surface, and Chickadee peered down at it. “Do you want me to POKE it?” she asked, helpfully.

“No, just leave it. It’ll sink,” replied Otto, an old hand with this disgusting exercise. We returned to the table. Chickadee ate a couple of cookies. Otto bit into a cookie and sighed. “I haven’t had a cookie in SO LONG,” he said, blissful.

“OH REALLY?” I said, totally jealous of his wheat-filled cookies. “I haven’t had a cookie in a REALLY long time. Hmph.” It’s true, I’m bitter.

Chickadee leaned over to check Otto’s glass. The cookie in it had sunk to the bottom. We chatted about various milk-and-cookie combos while Otto ate the non-drowned cookies.

[For example, Otto continued trying to defend his disgusting habit by saying that everyone loves milk and cookies. I pointed out that you can have that combo by dipping your cookies—BRIEFLY!—in milk, or simply by taking a sip of milk and then a bite of cookie. Chickadee maintained that if she does that, the milk falls out of her mouth when she bites the cookie. I told her to bite the cookie first, then to sip the milk. She said if she does THAT, the cookie falls out of her mouth. And then I told her she’s clearly too stupid to eat cookies. Because I’m a loving mother.]

Finally, Otto finished the other cookies and drank the remaining milk, leaving nothing but a bloated cookie carcass in the bottom of the glass. “See,” he said to Chickadee, tilting the glass her way, “this cookie is perfectly milk-flavored, now. Total perfection.”

“It’s DISINTEGRATING,” I said. “It’s a giant chunk of cookie backwash.”

“It kind of looks like puke, Otto,” added Chickadee. THAT’S MY GIRL.

Otto shook his head at both of us, then tilted the glass a bit more so that the cookie began to scoot towards his mouth. He paused and added, “See how the cookie has taken on the curve of the side of the glass?” He said it reverently, as if Jesus’ face in a grilled cheese sandwich is interesting, but THIS right here was actually HOLY.

“It really looks like you’re drinking a glass of vomit,” Chickadee said.

Otto not only downed his milk-logged cookie chunk, he went so far as to insist that MOST PEOPLE would agree with him that it’s TOTALLY DELICIOUS to sink a cookie in the milk and consider it the final flourish on a heavenly milk-and-cookies session. I told him that he’s insane; enjoying the combination of milk and cookies does NOT, ergo, mean one enjoys a cookie which is completely sodden.

Readers, I call upon your collective wisdom. For ease of use, I give you this poll, but feel free to leave comments as well. The fate of mockery in my house is depending on you.

109 Comments

  1. Lori N

    Oh Otto, I think you’re going to lose on this one!

  2. laura

    I’m sure he is a perfectly nice man in every other way but the cookie thing…ICK.

  3. Holly

    I say disgusting but only because just the IDEA of milk makes me gag. I absolutely can NOT stand the stuff and anybody enjoying ANYTHING dipped in the crap is totally beyond me. Milk makes me shudder.

  4. Ali

    OOOh nasty. But also made me crave Oreos and milk (totally on my not allowed until I lose my baby weight list. So thanks a lot Otto!)

  5. diane

    I feel disinclined to mock, lest I be mocked in return. While I eat cookies and milk the normal (non-soaked)way, I occasionally do strange things with coffee and bread, thanks to my Sicilian grandfather.

    For breakfast, or for a snack, he would break up white bread (the cheaper and softer the better) in a bowl, add copious amounts of coffee, milk and sugar, and eat the resulting semi-porridge with a spoon. Children like nothing better than to imitate a beloved grandparent, so…

    Every so often, when in need of comfort, I revert to a bowl of coffee and bread.

  6. Karen

    “bloated cookie carcass” – enough said!

  7. Sue @ Laundry for Six

    I only do this by accident when I drop the cookie in the milk (I’m clumsy), and it IS good… I have to say. But I’m way too impatient with a cookie in my hand to wait for it to become fully milk-logged.

    So I’m voting for Team Otto, even though I love you all.

  8. Melanie

    EWWW! While I can’t imagine a scenario in which a cookie TASTES bad, for me it is all about visuals and texture. Chickadee has already described the visual, and I’m about to lose my breakfast just thinking about the texture!

    On the other hand, I literally burn my cookies to make the extra crispy and umm, I guess burned flavored! So to each his or her own… Variety is the spice of life!

  9. Otto

    I suspect that anyone who votes no to this has never tried it.

    A Chips-A-Hoy will work (original, not those namby-pamby soft ones), but for the truly angelic experience I recommend a Pepperidge Farm Nantucket. Let it sit for at least five minutes. As you finish sipping the now-sweetened milk you’ll start to feel the first blush of saturated lushness that is about to slide to your lips.

    Ecstasy is now yours.

    Next she’ll be mocking me for frozen Pop-Tarts … but this treat has been immortalized in a Ron Howard movie, so taking on those is like being a terrorist …

    -otto

  10. Dustin

    I see Otto has tried stacking the vote, no way would five people really vote for that option. :)

  11. Jess

    This is what I used to do, and am considering doing again very soon. Take a Chips Ahoy (and ONLY Chips Ahoy), and dunk it in the milk, holding it until it ALMOST disintegrates. Then, eat it quickly, trying not to drop almost-disintegrated cookie all over you. If the cookie’s not falling apart, you’re not doing it right. ;)

  12. bethany

    I voted yes on behalf of my children. Two of them always eat their cookies totally disintegrated in their milk, even using a spoon some of the time.

  13. Amy

    I’m with Otto. I love having the cookie get all mushy from the milk. Particularity if it’s an Oreo cookie. I can’t eat an Oreo cookie dry anymore (probably because of oreo milkshakes and blizzards, but alas). Squishy cookies are so much better than dry cookies that get stuck on the roof of your mouth!!

  14. Susan

    Frozen pop tarts? Never heard of ’em but THEY sound delish. Milk soaked cookies, only done by accident and hate ’em. Ugg. Too slimy. Cookies need some sort of texture. Puke was an apt description.

  15. Kathy from NJ

    Take a cup of hot chocolate, break your cookie into spoon sized pieces (a soup spoon is good), place a piece of cookie on the spoon and gently place the spoon into the hot chocolate filling the spoon. When all of the hot choc (on the spoon) has been absorbed by the cookie, put the spoon in your mouth. Repeat.

  16. sassymonkey

    Ick, ick, ick. Bleck.

    (Sorry Otto.)

  17. Randi

    Frozen pop tarts I can see. Cookies that are so sodden that they’ve half disintegrated into milk? That’s like eating ice cream that’s already melted. WHY?!

  18. elizabeth

    I have to go with Otto on this one. Although, the mechanics of getting the cookie out of the glass is something I have never mastered. (envision sodden cookie landing on a face, pretty) There is a long standing tradition in my family of what my youngest has renamed Cookie Mush. Oreos in a bowl with milk poured over, just enough to be soaked up by the cookies, smushed and eaten with a spoon. Pure heaven in a bowl and no face planting cookies. I’ve never done it with any other flavor cookie, but the Chips Ahoy sounds like it has potential.

  19. Angela

    Yeah that is like drinking/eating vomit! Yuck!!! Props to Chickadee for recognizing this…I mean tweenness could have gotten the best of her and she could have chose to be obstinate and insist it was wonderful and even eat it herself to show mom it was wonderful…but the truth won and she saw this for what it was…backwash!

  20. Zuska

    I just totally love this: “See how the cookie has taken on the curve of the side of the glass?” He said it reverently, as if Jesus’ face in a grilled cheese sandwich is interesting, but THIS right here was actually HOLY.

    I stop short of letting an Oreo (actually, I prefer Newman-Os to Oreos), sink all the way to the bottom, and then ease it back up the side of the cup’o’milk, but I DO fully and completely let the cookie soak up a boatload of milk before removing it from the cup with a spoon. Pure bliss. So, I guess that puts me in Otto’s camp.

    Frozen pop tarts? Not interested in them, frozen or otherwise.

  21. Rasselas

    Actually, I used to eat something like this for breakfast instead of cereal. With this type of ..biscuit, I suppose.

    http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petit_beurre

    I’d crumble them into a bowl of milk and let it disintegrate JUST a little, so there are still some crunchy bits. Then yum yum yum. I suppose it brought back memories of baby food or something. I’d do this with bread even more often.

    But I’m kind of weird, so I’m not sure this counts as a point for poor Otto. :)

  22. elz

    Not Fair! I thought this was going to be a yummy post about delicious cookies and halfway through I started tasting bile in my mouth and nearly vomited by the end. Tell Otto that is NOT normal. The fact that you knew that he eats cookies that way and actually stay with him after is what you bring to the marriage. I don’t think any other woman would stomach that. I mean it quite literaly. Dis-gus-ting!

  23. Lauren

    I agree that the full dunk is great(!), but only with dry, crunchy cookies like Chips Ahoy or maybe an Oreo. I haven’t done this since I was a kid (15-20 years ago), but mostly because I don’t buy those kinds of cookies anymore. I also didn’t let it soak for so long, in fact optimum soaking occured somewhere before the stage you mentioned. I liked to be able to scoop it out semi-whole, not drink it like cereal.

    I associate this so closely with Chips Ahoy that there must have been some commercial that promoted this.

    I may need to go buy milk and cookies today to relive this bit of my childhood.

  24. Valerie

    ALL WRONG Otto!! Get a bowl, put ALL cookies in, pour milk in until cookies are covered, let sit for a little while, when cookies are totally milk saturated, get spoon and eat…PURE PERFECTION!!!!

  25. Janine

    As I was reading I was thinking the only way I can imagine this to be good is with a Chips Ahoy, it has happened to me by accident and it is good. I will give Otto the vote on this one, but I will have to try it with the peppridge farm. I try to stay away from cookies these days but I think I could relax in order to try this out.

  26. Frank

    My problem with the above scenario has nothing to do with taste.. and everything to do with consistency. I am a well known cookie and milk fanatic; but if the cookie gets to the point of disintegration, it is well past its prime enjoyment time.
    Of note, however, is how this differs greatly when applied to a WARM dunking liquid. Flavor of said liquid (mostly coffee or tea) is enhanced and intensified that much more when infused with cookie goodness.
    Not sure exactly where that leaves me with the above vote. Strictly speaking, I guess I would have to vote against the mighty Orange this time….

  27. EmJay

    In my world, dropping the cookie and being unable to get it until he milk is gone is considered a milk and cookie failure. One must dip and soak just enough to soften he cookie but not so much that it falls apart. This is wisdom that must be past to our children. Apparently, Otto’s parents did not love him enough. :)

  28. Nelson's Mama

    Cookies and Milk should be consumed separately – if you ask me!

    My 13-year old daughter would have something different to say, she loves to take the mini-Oreos and eat them like cereal, totally soggy, mushy and gross. Help me…

  29. Katie in CA

    umm, gross. But thanks for making me NOT want a cookie now. I hate milk and the thought of desecrating a cookie like that makes me shudder.

  30. Sheila

    Let it be known that I voted “disgusting,” but I am not above letting all my cereal becoming totally milk-logged and spooning up the soggy goodness. So I am somewhat aligning myself with Otto on this one.

  31. Megan

    No. nonononononono. Texture is SO important and sludgy/sqwudgy is just ALL WRONG.

    Of course, when I did have cookies-and-milk I definitely was a bite of cookie, sip of milk person (and go FAST or the cookie might get soggy – anything less than crisp is just evil, evil evil). Also, I ate cold cereal as bite of dry cereal, sip of milk – same reason.

    My mother used to try to convince me that bread-and-milk was the most marvelous, soothing, WONDERFUL thing in the world. She made it for me once – whole wheat bread (v. dense. Homemade – with home-ground flour. My mother didn’t take no halfway measure, nosir), toasted, buttered, then floated in warm milk. Until it got totally sludgy and soft and NASTY and turned the entire bowl into a hellish, brownish, swamp of DOOM.

    That was when I realized my mother was trying to kill me.

    Sorry Otto – you’re a wonderful person and very patient and I sympathize deeply with Otto Week, but, as far as cookies and milk go? You are so very, very wrong.

  32. Lisa

    Hmmm, I’ve always thought of Otto as fairly… normal….. until now ;-)

  33. Susanne

    I just had to vote for “disgusting”. The other thing that I find disgusting, though, is drinking milk. I might have a nice cup of hot chocolate in wintertime once in a while but really – milk?

    I love cookies, though.

  34. Lisa

    I cannot vote as I find it somewhat disgusting; HOWEVER, my older son has been doing that since he was 11 or 12. He sinks a bunch of cookies in his glass of milk, then eats it with a spoon until it’s near the bottom and then he just drinks it. He’s the only one I’ve ever known to do that. Until now.

  35. The Other Leanne

    mmmm…cookies in milk…haven’t thought of that in a long time, but that’s exactly what I used to do with Oreos. I’m with Otto on this one.

  36. Lauren

    Okay, a quick Google search found this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHINuYTtQXg

    Judging from other links, it is definitely not just an Otto thing. :)

    [Ed. note: I never should’ve let Otto watch this video. He’s claiming it as a “moral victory,” the weirdo.]

    [Otto note: That is totally AWESOME!!]

  37. Crissy

    Otto’s comment above (and the vivid descriptors he used) read like milk-n-cookie porn!!! Oh my goodness.

  38. Karen

    Cookies and Milk together are yummy! But dropping your cookie into your milk and letting it disintegrate is just disgusting. The cookie to milk ratio is all wrong. I could see doing it if you made it more like cereal, but just one cookie in a glass is yucky.

    Some people in the south eat cous-cous, which is cornbread crumbled in milk, sometimes sweetwned with sugar. It is actually good, but only when the ratio of cornbread to milk makes it kind of like oatmeal so you can eat it with a spoon. Crumbling just enough cornbread so you can still drink it is just like your cookie scenario and it gives me the heebie jeebies.

  39. Ingrid

    Bleh. This one just comes a little too close to the puke-in-the-car-seat incident I deal with this morning. A definite “disgusting” from me!

  40. Aly

    We have a split decision in our house. I vote disgusting – my husband is firmly in Otto’s camp and thinks if there were some sort of religion that had this in its rites he would join in a heartbeat. I guess we will have to wait for our tween girl to return from the Grands and break the tie.

  41. Chris

    I’m with Otto. TEAM OTTO!

  42. Melissa

    I had to press my tongue to the roof of my mouth to keep from gagging at the thought. And, yes, Otto, I’ve tried it your way. A cookie dropped in my milk glass and I thought, “How bad can it be?” Turns out, very, very bad.

  43. Leandra

    Just the thought of it sliding, slug-like, down the side of the glass is enough to make me gag.

  44. dad

    Mir,

    Much as I love you and adore the kids, I have to go with Otto here. I suggest you try it his way but blindfolded so the visual cues are blurred.

    Although I am not familiar with Pepperidge Farm “Nantucket” cookies, the possibility of limericks too bazarre for even your blog run rampant through my addled brain. As a child I recall vividly attempting to totally dissolve Oreo’s in milk to mask the taste of the milk. I also fondly remember late night snacks with my Mother: Me with my Oreo Smoothie, her with milk and mashed Uneeda Biscuits. I always assumed she was delivering some sort of guilt trip by consumption.

    We all need thick skin.

  45. el-e-e

    This is going to be an excellent week.

  46. Trafty

    I usually fish the milk-cookie out with a spoon, but Otto’s way works too.

  47. Sara

    However, those mini oreos tossed into a bowl of milk and eaten with a spoon is sublime!

  48. dad

    PS: Your grandmother’s drink was known as “guggle-muggle.”

  49. meghann

    Man, I would have had to leave to room to keep from vomiting. I can’t even stand soggy cereal, but a whole cookie?!?!?!?

    *is having to think happy thoughts about something else to keep from getting nauseated*

  50. annie mouse

    I’m with Otto on this one.

    Only I have cookie cereal.
    Especially with the peanut butter/ oatmeal Girl Scout cookies (I know them as Do-Si-Dos, but evidently, other people call them something else). Or those wee baby doughnuts.

  51. Hollie

    I am sure it tastes wonderful, but I’d be unable to get over the texture of sodden diaper leavings to properly enjoy it.

  52. Karate Mom

    I may have to stop by the store and get some Chips Ahoy today, just so I can try this trick.

  53. StephLove

    I feel paralyzed and unable to vote because I see Otto’s point about not voting against it until you try it and yet, I do not wish to try it. Plus, I have no cookies.

  54. Billie

    I had to vote for the Otto camp due to the fact that I like to hold my cookie in the milk until it is super soggy. Favorite is the Chips Ahoy.

    What I don’t get is that he likes one cookie in the bottom of the glass and eats the rest as is. I don’t get the crunchy vs soggy thing. It should be one or the other…lol.

  55. s

    wow, that must be one WIDE glass of milk to fit a whole nantucket in it! My husband dunks his cookies and then lets the crumbs settle and drinks them up and I find it absolutely annoying to see the empty glass with crumbs left in it (how ’bout rinsing that glass out?) but since he puts up with about 10 thousand more aggravating habits of mine, I just rinse it out myself without looking.

  56. Heather

    I like to get my cookies pretty soaked, but not so soaked they disintegrate. Like, dip, hold, then eat, before it all falls apart ;)

  57. Tracy

    I’m with Heather on this but I voted for Otto. ONLY because I never thought of just leaving it in the glass. I’m gonna try it now.

  58. Amy

    I voted delicious only because my husband does the same exact thing. Personally I think it’s gross!

  59. Patricia

    I either hate slimy cookies or grainy milk. But, Otto, I have tried it and still can say — EWWW, Ick. I do like to take a tea biscuit and dip it in tea, but only to moist, not to falling apart stages.

    Mir, yes, that guy of yours is weird — totally, completely weird. I do not think I’d be able to watch him eat cookies and milk and the mental image has me squeaking out.

  60. Damsel

    I’m a long-time dipper, not only in the sense that I’ve been doign it my whole life, but also in the sense that I leave the cookie in the milk for quite awhile… I have to hurry to get the cookie to my mouth before it breaks and plops back in the glass and splashes milk all over the place. I’ve never tried the soaking thing like Otto, but I’m voting for him because I think I might really, really like it!

    Thanks so much for writing this today – it’s laugh-out-loud funny and I REALLY needed it!!!

    I think I’m going to strive to be a “paragon of reasonableness”.

  61. Tammy

    Well, you’ve finally revealed the mystery Mir. I mean, why else would Otto be with you other than to hide this HIDEOUS character defect that he calls ‘delicious’??? Kidding. Cookies are meant to be DIPPED in milk, not disintegrated.

    And, the idea that anything OTHER than an Oreo is dipped in milk is beyond me. I mean, what kind of world are we living in when people dip chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies in milk???

    Pretty soon they’ll be making cookie straws that you can drink through.

    Wait a second…

  62. Mare Martell

    I believe that you are causing an International incident by putting this vote on your blog. I’ve seen and read the replies to nearly every post since I started reading WCS, but this…

    Otto, you are a brave man to put your delight under such scrutiny. Dunk until you’re happy, man. Do what you believe is best for you. Even if it’s not all that great. (Yes, I tried.)

    YAY! A week with Otto! This should be interesting. He’s very punny.

  63. Amelia

    I was JUST about to mention the cookie straws, but it looks like Tammy beat me to it. My grandma taught me to dip graham crackers in milk juuuust until they were about to fall off the part I was holding, though. It was like a game: you wanted them soggy but not drifting to the bottom. So. I’ve never tried it Otto’s way. But I have to admit that a soggy graham cracker is pretty fabulous.

  64. Jackie Hall

    OK I did vote against you Otto but, I hope to make you feel a little better when I tell you my grandparents would eat their corn bread broken up in a glass of milk and I even think they put sugar in it. My husband likes to mix tuna, ketcup and salt. He also like pinto beans mixed with mayo or even mayo on crackers if we are having a cassarole. OK.. I’m grossing myself out so I have to stop.

    Good luck to both of you! haha

  65. Jess H

    Cookies should be crunchy!

  66. kat

    I voted on my iphone and accidentally voted delicious when trying to enlarge the screen. I meant to vote disgusting. So really 39 (as of now) people agree with Otto, not 40.

  67. Pamela L

    I am so with Otto on this. I love Oreos and Chips Ahoy totally dunked until mushy. I have always held the cookie in the class until it’s almost falling off and then quickly ate it.

    I’ll have to try dropping one in – the only problem is that’s just 1 cookie and I like all my cookies moist with milk.

    You should definitely try it – it’s delicious!!

  68. Jackie Hall

    Mir tell Otto that mocking is your love language! ;-) Sorry to post twice I just thought of this. haha

  69. vanessa

    Back when I used to like milk, I LOVED putting my Oreos in it and letting them just go to crumbs. YUMMY.

  70. Erin

    Cookies: good. Milk: good. I do NOT dip my cookies in my milk. EVER.

    And, Mir, I feel your pain on the wheat-less-ness. *sigh* Gluten-free cookies just aren’t the same.

  71. Madge

    I’m with Otto. Used to do it with peanut m&ms too, but I haven’t done that one in a while. Added bonus with that one: they turn the milk a fun color! Chips Ahoy are good, but the absolute best are the rainbow chips deluxe. Or the peanut butter cup ones from Keebler (I forget what they’re called exactly, but YUMMMMM).

  72. Sagey

    Now my son loves milk and he loves oreos. He has taken to dipping the oreos in milk but then refuses to drink the milk afterward because it had cookie crumbs in it…

  73. My Kids Mom

    My kids do this. My only rule is that they can’t put their hands in the glass if it doesn’t slide out on it’s own. At that point they need a spoon.

  74. ttulizzy

    My hubs does this too! Except he digs the cookie out with a spoon and eats it…actually he eats several cookies that way then turns up the milk to drink.

    I tried it, and it is actually quite good! Looks disgusting though.

  75. Anne

    *sigh* I miss cookies…. Sometimes being on a gluten-free diet sucks…..

  76. Stacy

    I shouldn’t say anything, because my mom likes to soak a piece of bread in a bowl of milk and spoon sugar over it and then eat it. They were poor growing up and that was their dessert. But it is gross!

  77. Little Bird

    Sorry Otto, I have serious issues with food textures, and that one just might do me in.
    But I have been known to eat (with a spoon) Cheerios covered with melted butter. Yeah, I know, I’m weird.

  78. MomCat

    Otto sounds just like my guy, who will defend his habits with arguments, charts and graphs if necessary. The one that I do understand is pretzels and hot fudge on vanilla ice cream. At the end of the dessert, however, the bowl looks rather like how I imagine Otto’s cookie looked.

  79. Leanne

    The closest I will EVER come to dipping a biscuit is a Tam Tam Slammer. A tim tam in Oz is a rectangular chocolate biscuit. Two biscuits sandwiched with chocolate cream and the whole thing is dipped in chocolate.

    To master the slammer, you nibble two opposite corners of the biscuit so that the actual biscuit is exposed. Dip one corner into a mug of hot coffee and suck the other corner like you are drinking milk through a straw. Just till you feel the coffee come into your mouth. Eat the biscuit as quickly as you can.

    You have to be quick!

    Otto, sorry, your cookie and milk just doesn’t cut it. :)

  80. alicia

    Ok, Otto, I have accidentally dropped a cookie in a glass of milk (so I have tried it!) and had to try to fish it out before it got soggy. I didn’t win and the cookie was disintegrated and DISGUSTING. I like to barely dunk or bite and sip.

  81. Sarah K

    That totally gagged me out. UGH

  82. the celt (jessica)

    Um…ew…

    I can’t even eat the dregs of the cookie in the bottom of the glass. If I dip my cookies, I never finish the glass of milk. Just too…soggy. Ugh.

    Cookie dregs… *shudders*

    jessica

  83. the viking

    the celt does not know of what she speaks! Cookies and milk together, however taken, are divine! I support Otto! Men must stick together! The women are trying to ruin our cookie experience!

    neal (the husband of the celt)

  84. Sandra Leigh

    I voted “disgusting.” Then I sent your link to my daughter, who also voted “disgusting.” Then I read the comments and remembered that my own mother used to crumble graham crackers in a bowl and cover them with milk, which we would eat like cereal. I seem to remember liking that when I was a kid, but I don’t think I could handle it now. Oh, and my daughter’s father used to dunk chocolate chip cookies in beer & ginger snaps in scotch, but I don’t think he let the cookies disintegrate, because in the case of the scotch, at least, that would be sacrilege.

  85. Monique

    Team Otto all the way!!! I like to eat a cookie each way, thou. One with no milk, one or two dipped, and one completely soggy and disintegrated. You get the complete texture and flavor experience. Yum!

    But I HATE soggy cereal.

    And Tammy (# 17) I LOVE melty ice cream!!

    I’m a weirdo, I know. (Ypu don’t even want to get me started on OJ and graham crackers. Despite what my hubby thinks; they’re good!!!)

  86. beth

    Otto is a man of rare taste.

    In our family, it is cheating to drop the cookie in, but if some “accidentally” falls in so you can drink its soggy goodness at the end, then you win.

  87. Dawn

    Oh, disgusting, for sure. I almost couldn’t read it, because: EW.

  88. styleygeek

    You’re not going to believe this, but there is actually a Danish traditional dish that is basically what Otto is doing. It’s called koldskÃ¥l och kammerjunkere. There’s an image here, although the koldskÃ¥l looks very thick in that photo. Usually the cookies would sink. KoldskÃ¥l is (cold) milk or buttermilk with a raw egg yolk, a little sugar and some lemon or vanilla in it. The kammerjunkere are little cookies. You soak them in the koldskÃ¥l and eat them basically the way you describe Otto doing. Maybe he is a Dane at heart.

  89. Alison C

    I voted for disgusting – but really only because I am lactose intolerant so like you Mir I’m slightly bitter and jealous!

  90. Janet

    You know how we tell our kids that they can’t have cookies and milk for supper? Well my husband LOVES cookies and milk and says that growing up his mom wouldn’t let him eat them for supper so now that he is an adult, every now and then, he has cookies and milk for supper…and yes, he does let our kids have them for supper too!
    So rant done, he is even more gross the Otto. He pours a sleeve of cookies in a giant cup and fills it up with milk then eats them with a spoon and drinks the leftover milk, like cereal. Oh so disgusting…

  91. Sheppitsgal

    Tell Chickadee –

    1. bite the cookie
    2. suck milk through a straw

    Problem solved
    x

  92. Michelle

    You even gave Otto the advantage in the poll – statistically speaking – by putting his choice first. Remind him of this if he tried to dispute the results.

  93. Brigitte

    Heh, I can gag myself just by remembering some old magazine article describing trying to get ready for work. They put the cereal and milk in a glass so they could “drink/chew” their breakfast, bleeagh! I so despise the soggy that I eat my cereal backwards: I pour a bowl of milk and only sprinkle on a few bites of cereal, eat them while they’re still crunchy, then add more cereal.

    Ugh, more flashbacks, now to my sister putting her pizza crusts in her soda until soggy, then eating them AND drinking the soda. MMmm, everyone loves pizza and cola – BARF!

  94. heidi

    This reminds me of what my husband and kids do…
    It involves a bowl, milk and graham crackers. Oh, and a spoon. Mush graham crackers in the milk and eat. DISGUSTING. Bowl of mush. UGH!

  95. Mary

    Go Otto! My dad taught me this when I was little. It’s the only way to go, especially with Oreo.
    I am afraid that experience has taught me you will lose this round. Sorry! Keep on dunking.

    Mary

  96. Brenda

    I learned this trick from friends a few years ago. Sadly, it only works for Double Stuffed Oreos. Take a fork and stick it in the cream center, then dunk it in the milk. It allows you to soak for a little bit longer and keeps your fingers from getting all cookied up.

    While I like somewhat soggy cookies, there will be no drowning of cookies in my future. Even with Otto’s masterful and seductive description.

  97. Momma Chaos

    According to the poll when I voted, 63people actually voted in favor of Otto.. Clearly they are being paid off because no one can expect us to believe that ANYONE [other than Otto, obviously] would eat cookie vomit. I’m sorry but that is just gross… I dunk my oreo cookies but once I’m done dunking and eating them, I toss the milk out because #1. I dont drink milk and #2. even if I did, I would not drink milk with cookie crumbs in it. ewww.

  98. Aimee

    Okay, I know this is unlikely at best. But do you think it’s possible that Otto and my husband are actually BROTHERS or something??? Because my husband does the same thing with cookies and muffins and other baked goods, only usually in his coffee. And it’s gross. And he proclaims to LURVE it and doesn’t understand why I don’t understand, and then gets mad when I point at him and laugh.

  99. Karen

    Oh! I’m late to the game!

    I don’t just drop it in there and let it sink, but I do hold the cookie in the milk until the cookie is about to drop off of its dry counterpart. Delish! But if it stays in the milk for too long then the cookie loses its flavour. And I do believe the cookies are the focus, and not the milk. Therefore, I will have to slightly lower your percentage to 16.99%

  100. Andrea

    At first I voted with you for the whole “ick” factor of drinking chunky milk and then realized I have, on occasion, had a mug of milk, a girl scout thin mint in hand when I ate several small bites off the sides of the cookie (thus breaking the chocoate shell) and dropping it in milk until the inside of the cookie dissolves a more than a little bit…remove from milk. Not exactly the same thing but equally strange so I can not say that had I thought about it, I might have voted with Otto.

  101. jenni

    Pretty gross……but my dad used to do the same thing. He even did it with donuts….in coffee.

  102. Debra

    Yuck!
    But…
    My mom and I used to crush vanilla wafers, or saltines crackers depending on what we had in the cupbard, in a cup and pour on the milk and eat them like cereal But they had to be eaten before they got squishy and gross.

  103. Ruth

    I remember my grandfather and uncles crumbling fresh-baked cornbread into buttermilk and then adding chopped onions to the mix and then eating it with spoons. Based on this memory, Otto’s cookie in regular milk seems quite mellow.

    (It’s kind of like unfrozen cookies and cream ice cream, eh?)

  104. silly me

    ok, so I tried it. Otto wins.

  105. shan

    I was going to comment anyway, but I knew I *definitely* had to when #59 up there (my sister) commented. She claims she thinks it’s disgusting and yet she’s the same girl who used to hold Oreos under the tap until they were soggy with water before eating them – I think it was so that she didn’t have to pour milk into a glass (and then wash it. . .oh, the horror!) :-)

    Anyway, I voted yes on milk-laden cookies, even if Otto’s specific process of doing it is new to me.

  106. Jane

    “It really looks like you’re drinking a glass of vomit,” Chickadee said. Truly a LOL! I would have to agree with that statement. And I have dairy allergies, so I haven’t had milk or cookies (Or Cheese!!) in a really long time. I miss cheese.

  107. Joless

    I could never grasp the cookies and milk thing, but I’m British so maybe that has something to do with it. I think we have cereal over here which is essentially small cookies that you eat with milk so I guess someone likes it.

    I love to eat ginger biscuits dunked in lemon squash ’til slightly soggy, and then you suck the liquid from the biscuit…Yum! To translate from English, that’s biscuit as in cookie rather than scone, and squash as in…hmm, cordial? rather than the vegetable. Really good though!

  108. Otto

    I just watched my beautiful wife vote for herself, again … I may demand a recount!

    -otto

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