We are family

The university is in the process of doing an eligibility audit for their benefits, which means that Otto and I have had to prove (again) that we’re married, and yesterday we received some paperwork demanding that we prove the children are actually eligible dependents on Otto’s health insurance. (This is all part of the university’s new plan to start paying its employees in wampum and Double Bubble, by the way.)

We were talking about it at dinner, and Chickadee asked why it matters. Otto told her that without this paperwork, she can’t have health insurance.

“Fine by me,” she said.

“Great, I’ll just go ahead and drop you, then,” said Otto. “Saves us about a hundred bucks a month, anyway. No more health insurance for you!”

Chickadee glared at him, then pointed her fork and intoned, “Just remember, if we’re ever stranded on an island, we’re eating you first.” (Yes, we did that book review a year and a half ago. No, it never stops being funny for the kids to remind Otto that they plan to eat him if the going gets rough.)

All motion and noise at the table stopped, as Monkey and I watched Otto and Chickadee each trying to stare the other down. Finally Otto went back to eating.

“I don’t think cannibalism is going to be your healthiest choice, particularly if you’re WITHOUT INSURANCE,” he said, all smug.

“Yeah, well, you won’t have insurance IF I EAT YOU,” she shot back, before everyone dissolved into giggles.

Feel the love, people. FEEL THE LOVE.


  1. Jamie

    Guess Chickie will abandon the vegetarianism, too funny!

  2. Holly

    She makes an excellent point.

  3. Leandra

    Better tell her to get a job so she can afford all those visits to the specialist. :)

    We got that paperwork too, and while I applaud the University’s bid to save money, making me dig up my (long lost) marriage license is going just a leetle too far. I have no idea where that sucker is and now I’m probably going to have to pay for a copy.

  4. Karen P

    Our health insurance did an audit also. I had to provide a copy of our marriage license and copy of our driver licenses to show we lived at the same address. Luckily I found the marriage license. The last time I looked for it (to show we were married when my husband applied for his pension) I couldn’t find it. I had to order a new one.I thought it would be with the wedding picture album when it was in the wedding book.

    Who knew after 36 years I would have to prove I was married to my husband for insurance?

    Don’t get me started about my husband’s birth certificate since his mother didn’t register his birth with the state for some reason and we had to come up with several documents to get one. He is son #3 out of 6 so don’t know how that happened. Then we had to do it again since the state moved stuff to a new computer system and lost the updated information.

  5. dad

    The prospect of having to make a dinner choice of either Otto or falafel should prove to be food for thought in the years ahead.

  6. M

    Jamie beat me to the vegetarian comment!

  7. Tracy

    How funny is that! I’m with Dad on this. Just food for thought! And yes, I’m feeling the love (but it’s not Thursday)!

  8. Jomama

    I have no idea where our marriage certificate is…(frantic digging through boxes in garage ensues)

  9. Karate Mom

    Can I please, please, PLEASE come and have dinner at your house? I adore silliness!

  10. Mary

    I totally agree with Karate Mom!
    In years to come this meal (no pun intended) will be relieved many times and you will laugh a different kind of laughter but you will so enjoy it again and again.
    What a beautiful family, Mir.

  11. Megan

    Ah the endless joy of higher academia. Go on, ASK me about how fun it’s going to be to get ’em to pay for tuition the way they say they will! On the plus side, at least you still get wampum. We get a nice email that says, ‘dear valued university employee. Due to unforeseen (except by everyone for the last three years) financial difficulties we will be substituting your retirement for this lovely digital certificate of appreciation. If you would like to receive this certificate, please drop by the bursar’s office to arrange for payment…”

    I might exaggerate.

    But not much.

    Provosts are VERY lucky they look so unappetizing…

  12. Mare Martell

    Ya know Mir, you should hold a fan luncheon. We can all sit at a large round table and be served Otto on a large platter with an apple in his mouth. Add in a side of Chickpea Chickadee and some Monkey Brains and the menu is done. For dessert we can have licorice.

    Wait…I wrote that out loud, didn’t I?

  13. Cele

    I may have to use Chickie’s line on Ducky sometime.

  14. Crissy

    And it’s not even Thursday yet!!!

  15. Crissy

    Oh wait, yes it is. It’s all a blur.

  16. Katie in MA

    You guys have the best dinner conversations. Can I be part of the fam, at least during dinner?

  17. Melody

    I miss you when you don’t write a new post every day. You’re blog goes great with my first cup of coffee in the morning :-) It’s like a shot of caffeine and in infusion of a smile, chuckle or giggle.

  18. mom, again

    Luckily, since we had to go through all sorts of proof of birth, marriage, divorce, new marriage, etc. etc. etc. to bring my husband through a decade of immigration status changes (from student with no connection to anyone in the U.S., to a spouse visa, to a green card to naturalization) as well as mine for the short time we lived in the UK, I can tell you exactly where all the relevent papers are. As well as 427 copies because of how many times we had to send in multiple copies, so we made even more, just in case. And also, the number of times we had to send in the originals, and so made copies just in case they lost them. Now I’m actually terrified to go through that locked, fireproof box and throw out copies for fear of tossing out the original of something as well by mistake.

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