This whole “getting fit” and “losing weight” thing is completely screwing me up. For example: In the past, when something was unpleasant, I would avoid it. I like to think I lead a pretty Darwinian life. Exercise was unpleasant and made me sweaty and sore, so I opted to park my ass on the couch and eat cookies, instead. Eating less food made me less full, so I ate more. Eating fat-laden food made me happy, SO I DID.
Sigh. Let’s have a moment of silence for the good ol’ days, shall we?
Now I’m all CONSCIENTIOUS and HEALTHFUL and I have CONCRETE PROOF that it’s bad for me.
Listen, before I started exercising every day, I knew that PAIN = BAD. Now I voluntarily put myself into pain for 30 – 60 minutes per day and it has completely screwed up my self-preservation tendencies. Which seems like it could be a problem, no? Actually, it’s already a problem.
Check it out: I made 15-bean soup yesterday for dinner. Very healthy! And low-cal! (I made cheese biscuits for the rest of my family, of course, but that’s another story. I can’t eat them so whatever.) While dishing out soup for my husband, I somehow managed to hold the bowl with my index finger just over the rim… in such a way that as I ladled, the tip of said finger was IN the soup. Now, if I was working in a restaurant we could discuss how having any part of me in the soup was an issue unto itself, but I don’t think my husband is worried about eating food I’ve touched. THAT is not the issue.
No, the issue is that I was ladling STEAMING HOT SOUP into a bowl, a bowl in which MY FINGERTIP WAS NOW SUBMERSED, and rather than immediately drop the bowl into the crock pot or fling the ladle so that I could use my other hand to reposition the bowl or ANYTHING LOGICAL, my brain went “Ow, this sucks, I should probably ladle faster.”
So I scooped up the final ladleful of soup and THEN put the bowl down.
At which point I had a second-degree burn on the tip of my index finger.
And it’s all because exercising and depriving myself chocolate have completely snuffed out my hedonistic survival instincts. Now I have a painful blister on the tip of my index finger, which is really no problem at all on account of it’s not like I need to sit at my computer and TYPE all day…
… oh. Wait.
I’m having leftover soup for lunch in a little bit. I will of course be wearing oven mitts, which may make managing the spoon a little tricky. Keep an eye out for my fun-filled companion post about spilling hot soup all down my face and chest and heading for the carpet spray before tending to my burns, won’t you?