Love’s reminders

By Mir
December 10, 2009
Category Friends | Growing

‘Tis the season to be swept away on a wave of annoyances. I’m prone to agonizing over minutiae, anyway, and I don’t think anyone could or does fault me for the things that often aggravate me these days—the kids’ health, various family matters, work, school… you name it, there’s stress attached. And whether it’s a “good” reason to get upset or not, the fact remains that I fret. Endlessly.

I want to take care of everyone. That’s what I do. I want to soothe the savage hormone beast, make school a happy place again, and hear Otto talk about work without a multitude of heavy sighs. I want my parents to smile and my friends to relax. Is it really so much to ask that I be omniscient and omnipotent and that I be able to fix everything for everyone??

(Uh, don’t answer that.)

What I’m always struggling to remember is this: Fixing is good, but love is enough. Even as I fret and flail because IF I CANNOT FIX IT WE’RE ALL DOOMED, I am forgetting that my inadequate-feeling love is exactly what I can and should offer without apology.

I know this because the love offered to me has rarely “fixed” whatever issues I wrestled, but it’s been more than enough to keep me going. Sometimes just knowing I was loved has been everything.

While I try to remember this all year ’round, the holiday season conveniently offers plenty of reminders wedged inbetween the scheduling issues and rock-bottom sales. (Heh.) For example: Although I wax nostalgic every year when we decorate the tree with ornaments from years past, and each one holds a memory, there’s one special piece that only I am allowed to hang, and it always goes right up top just underneath the topper.


There was a time when I had trouble feeling the love surrounding me. There was a time when I worried I had nothing left to offer, and that maybe I wasn’t worthy of the life I barely dared to hope for. While I am grateful for each and every person who helped to hold me up until I could stand on my own again, it was during this time that one very special woman—while fighting her own battles—opened her heart to me. The heart ornament came from her later, after both our lives had improved and we both were feeling abundantly blessed. But that heart has been the focal point of our Christmas tree ever since.

I think of her when I look at it, of course. She is still one of my dearest friends, and the closest I’ll ever have to a sister. But that’s not why I need it right in front. It’s a reminder to me that the greatest of these is love, indeed.

So I will continue to love without regret or fear, as best I can. And that—as the saying goes—is the reason for the season.

Happy Love Thursday, everyone. Let’s all help each other remember, okay?


  1. Randi

    it’s a beautiful ornament. I’m so glad that you have it to lift you up on the days when you need a little lifting.

  2. Heather

    Beautiful <3

  3. Aimee

    I love that ornament — it’s so beautiful, as is the reminder. It’s one that I think we all need.

  4. Scottsdale Girl

    Love the ornament! I went through all mine the other day…even though i can’t have a tree (grumble animals grumble dammit) it was lovely to reminisce on Christmases past with my mom and have a good cry.

    Happy Love Thursday Mir!

  5. MomCat

    I always need a tissue box for your Love Thursdays. Thank you for the sweet reminder!

  6. Tracy

    There is always someone worse off than you and there are always blessings that go uncounted. I’m so glad that you have a reminder of this. Happy Love Thursday.

  7. Jamie

    A terrific reminder to all!

  8. bob

    true friends are a precious commodity, and to be treasured always. Happy love thursday.

  9. Anna

    Lovely, Mir.

  10. Crista

    Thank you. I’m a fixer, too, and sometimes need reminders like this.

  11. Nicki

    Thank you for the gentle reminder. Love is enough.

  12. Ginger

    Faith, Hope, Love. I have also been struggling with wanting to fix everything and everyone around me. Thank you for reminding me what it really is all about.

  13. Sheila

    I love this.

  14. Katie in MA

    So, *so* beautiful!

  15. Wilma Ham

    That simple, being love in action is worth a lot more than trying to fix everybody else’s problems.
    Should we have this love ornament implanted or something to remind us daily?
    Thursdays and Christmas are good, but enough? Hmm.

  16. kath

    I think we all feel it this time of year. My post today is about letting others “fix” me. I didn’t really need fixing but it was a bad week and everyone gave me just the right amount of support.

    We must all remember to stop and breathe and look around us this time of year. Because all we have that really matters is the love we share with and receive from our family and friends.

  17. Kira

    Love you. But I’m still going to kick your butt over at FFP.
    whoops. Did I say that last part in the outside-the-head-voice?

  18. J from Ireland

    Thats just what I needed to hear right now, Love is enough. Thank you.

  19. Cele

    What a beautiful tribute to life, love, and special friends. Thank you for sharing, it moved me to weepies.

  20. mamaspeak

    Well then, I guess it’s good you’re a mom. Could you imagine what you’d be like if you didn’t have kids? Most likely you’d be that crazy cat lady, so you could fret over your cats, like you do your kids. Fret’n it’s one of the number 1 job skills required of being a mom. :-)

    As always, nice post. I check in every day for my daily dose of Mir. I’m never disappointed. I wish I could write half as well as you and could find the time to post half as much. Happy Love Thursday!

  21. mamaspeak

    oh, guess I should say, I’m rarely disappointed. If you don’t post I’m disappointed. But no pressure or anything. ;-) (It’s not like you should get to have LIFE or anything.)

  22. Shelley

    Thank you for the inspiration!

  23. cindy

    Happy Holidays Mir- I’m a couple days behind, so reading your recent 3 posts. OMG you slay me. I literally Whoop Whoop cheared at the end of your Dr little dick, because who hasn’t been dismissed, condescended. There just isn’t reason to ever treat someone that way. And then I moved on to your Love Thursday (girlfriend held you up and you honor that with ritual) post with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. One of those chokey lumps. YOU ARE AN INCREDIBLE ARTIST! not to mention, a beautiful wife and mama. A life of purpose. You took me from throwing punches to sobbing love in about 3 minutes.

  24. beyondthetunnel

    The utter honesty with which you write is the reason i keep coming back here. A reminder to myself to be just as honest when i do the same.

    I confess, i lurk here. Often. I don’t have kids, have never been married and live in a developing nation which sounded like enough reasons to not have anything to say. Increasingly i’m beginning to understand that very often those things matter very little(if at all)when you feel genuineness in somebody.

    Happy Love Thursday Mir, and thank you for reminding me that often “Fixing is good, but love is enough.”

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