You would think that—after nine and three-quarters year with the child—I would know certain things right off the bat, even those that require a bit of interpretation.
Like, say, that, “I may need a little help here” = “I just spilled an entire gallon of milk.”
Or that, “I had kind of a bad day today” = “Did the principal call yet?”
Or, in the case of this morning, that “My head hurts” = “I have a fever that puts my head at roughly the same temperature as the surface of the sun.”
Sorry it took me an hour to get you that Advil, kid. I really did think you were just thirsty when you said it the first time….