Problem solver

By Mir
August 25, 2009

At about 11 this morning, my phone rang. Conveniently, I had just fallen asleep again, so I was super-excited to be woken up as you might imagine.

Me: Hello?
Chickadee: Hiya.
Me: What’s the matter? Are you okay?
Her: I’m fine. Well, I got something in my eye, and my contact fell out.
Me: It FELL OUT? Okay…?
Her: Yeah. So. Um. I’m wearing one contact.
Me: Take it out and wear your glasses, instead.
Her: Oh. Um. I don’t have my glasses.
Me: You don’t?
Her: Nope.
Me: So you need to put your contact back in.
Her: Right.
Me: And let me guess. You don’t have your glasses, and I bet you don’t have any saline, either?
Her: Nope.
Me: So you are calling me… to have me bring you some saline?
Her: Yes.
Me: Because you neglected to put some in your bag OR bring your glasses?
Her: Yes.
Me: Did you ask the nurse if she has some?
Her: I don’t think she wears contacts.
Me: CHICKADEE. Maybe she has some in her supplies.
Her: I don’t think so.
Me: Did you ASK?
Her: I don’t think she does.
Her: No, I asked if I could use the phone to call you.
Me: Okay. Here is what you are going to do. You are going to hang up and go to the nurse and see if she has some saline. If she does, great, put your lens back in. If she doesn’t, call me back and I will get out of bed and get dressed and come down there ALL SICK AND GERMY with your saline and a very grumpy lecture. Okay?
Her: Okay.
Me: And I want you to call me back either way so I know what’s going on, okay?
Her: Okay. Bye!
Me: Love you!

I hung up the phone and fell back asleep. For over two hours. When I woke up a little while ago and realized she’d never called back, I was a little perturbed, but figured she’d gotten the saline and all was well.

Then the phone rang again, just now.

Me: Hello?
Her: Hiya.
Me: Chickadee! You didn’t call back before! Did you get some saline?
Her: Yeah, the nurse had some eyewash stuff, she said it would work. It was fine.
Me: So you put your lens back in?
Her: Yup.
Me: Oh good, I’m glad that worked out.
Her: Yeah.
Me: Wait. Why are you calling NOW?
Her: Because I forgot to call you back before.
Me: Ooooo… kay?
Her: Bye!
Me: Love you!

It would be wrong to staple a travel-size container of saline to her when she gets home today, right? Just checking.


  1. RooBearMom

    Of course it would be wrong! Stapling the bottle would make it leak! Try duct tape!

  2. Pepper

    Super glue it to her that way it wont fall off!

  3. Amy

    Not to be gross, but tell her to just pop her contact on her tongue, swish it around a little, then pop it back in her eye (might want to also impress upon her the need to not swallow it). After about 15 years of contact lens wearing, you learn to improvise.

  4. Dawn

    Yeah, I’d go with the Superglue. Although the stapling would be more satisfying. :)

  5. Beth

    Not to be argumentative and no personal offense to Amy above…but I think that trick might not be a good idea with soft lenses.

  6. MomCat

    Blink makes boxes of tiny, individual ‘servings’ of saline. They fit nicely in a lunchbox or schoolbag.

  7. Frank

    put a nice black eyepatch in her supplies for her… the NEXT time she has an issue and has forgot her stuff, make her wear it and force her to act like a pirate the rest of the day. AARRGGGHHHH!
    Let it happen only once and she will never forget again… LOL

  8. Megan

    Ah the dilemma – do you insist she take her glasses to school and thus have something to wear should this sort of thing happen BUT run the very real risk of said glasses being smashed or lost? Brings back those heady days when I lost two pairs of glasses and a retainer in one semester. Yup.

  9. Katie in MA

    Perhaps the stapling would be frowned upon. Bringing an economy-sized bottle of saline to the nurse the next time you’re near the school might not be a bad idea, however.

  10. Mrs Marcos

    1. Frank’s response made me laugh out loud. His recommendation gets my vote if we’re going to vote!

    2. Yes, the spit trick would technically work but it burns and stings like @#$)%&@#…it might traumatize her into contact compliance, so might be worth a shot!

  11. Brandi

    I wear contacts 50% of the time. What I do is after I put my contacts in I refill them with saline solution and put it in my purse. I also put glasses in a hard case in my purse, too

  12. Kate

    If stapling seems too harsh, maybe you could tape some string on a bottle of saline and have her wear it around her neck the rest of the day. Kind of a mix between kids who have to wear their house keys around their neck so they don’t lose them, and those old-fashioned mountain rescue dogs.

  13. Grizzly Kitteh

    I vote for Frank’s idea :D It will also come in handy on International Talk Like A Pirate Day (Sept. 19).

  14. Otto

    For the record, I think Mir and I would prefer that the word “Super” not be used in any way, shape or form for the foreseeable future. So if you know where to find Averageglue, please share …


  15. Scottsdale Girl

    Averageglue is called ELMER’s.

  16. Aimee

    Frank! You are my hero today (sorry, just an Average Hero, since the other kind has been banned per Otto) for making me laugh on a truly crapulous day.

  17. David

    Too funny that she called you back to tell you that she’d forgotten to call you back. This is adolescent logic at its finest: Better late than never, or perhaps more correctly, better than getting home from school having not done so.

    Otto, you crack me up. Hang in there, guy.

  18. Sarah K

    The swish in the mouth trick is a very.bad.idea. Google infections caused by that. If nothign else is available, tap water is your best bet.

  19. Half Assed Kitchen

    You’re a good and patient woman, Mir.

  20. Rachel

    Otto & Scottsdale Girl cracked me up!! Maybe Chickie will remember saline on her own now that she (oh the horrors!) had to ask the nurse for help.

  21. WindyLou

    My eyeballs have never fallen out or developed any kind of nasty infection. I can’t even count how many times I have had to put my contact in my mouth to get it wet enough to re-insert. It’s not going to kill you when nothing else is available.

  22. mama speak

    ACTUALLY, you can google to get a recipe to make saline w/salt & water. Not that I’ve ever had a reason to need to do that.

    I like the eye patch idea as well.

    But making her lug around a container or salt & distilled water for a day might also impress upon her to remember. (And now I am giggling at the visual of her explaining to her friends why she has a gallon jug of distilled water w/her.)

    That all being said…if this is the first time this has happened, I’m pretty impressed. I’m 40, and know better and almost never carry my back up saline, case or glasses w/me. Now I will be cursed tomorrow. You’ll recognize me as the lady in line at Starbucks w/the eyepatch. Arrr!

  23. steff

    At least she uses saline – my 12yo son told me after school my contact fell out and i just popped it back in. He is just now starting to wear them full time.

  24. andi

    My friend is blind without her contacts and while attempting to re-wet her eyes she grabbed superglue and proceeded to put it in her eye. So forget the staples and the superglue. Stick with the eyepatch!

  25. Flea

    It would be wrong to staple saline to her, yes. Not wrong to staple her eyeglass case, though.

  26. Deva

    Sarah K – tap water is just as bad as saliva for contacts.

    I love that she called because she forgot to call! :-) I’m glad she got it worked out with the nurse!

  27. Nicki

    I’m the wrong parent to ask about stapling saline to a child. I threatened to tranq Rachel one night in the car. (Just another stumbling block in my quest for Mother of The Year.)

    Feel better. You may want to consider going some place quieter with less traffic to recuperate…like Grand Central Station.

  28. Amy-Go

    Why did you let Jack teach her about contacts? I think I’ve had this same conversation with him…

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