At about 11 this morning, my phone rang. Conveniently, I had just fallen asleep again, so I was super-excited to be woken up as you might imagine.
Me: What’s the matter? Are you okay?
Her: I’m fine. Well, I got something in my eye, and my contact fell out.
Me: It FELL OUT? Okay…?
Her: Yeah. So. Um. I’m wearing one contact.
Me: Take it out and wear your glasses, instead.
Her: Oh. Um. I don’t have my glasses.
Me: You don’t?
Me: So you need to put your contact back in.
Me: And let me guess. You don’t have your glasses, and I bet you don’t have any saline, either?
Me: So you are calling me… to have me bring you some saline?
Me: Because you neglected to put some in your bag OR bring your glasses?
Me: Did you ask the nurse if she has some?
Her: I don’t think she wears contacts.
Me: CHICKADEE. Maybe she has some in her supplies.
Her: I don’t think so.
Me: Did you ASK?
Her: I don’t think she does.
Me: DID YOU ASK?
Her: No, I asked if I could use the phone to call you.
Me: Okay. Here is what you are going to do. You are going to hang up and go to the nurse and see if she has some saline. If she does, great, put your lens back in. If she doesn’t, call me back and I will get out of bed and get dressed and come down there ALL SICK AND GERMY with your saline and a very grumpy lecture. Okay?
Me: And I want you to call me back either way so I know what’s going on, okay?
Her: Okay. Bye!
Me: Love you!
I hung up the phone and fell back asleep. For over two hours. When I woke up a little while ago and realized she’d never called back, I was a little perturbed, but figured she’d gotten the saline and all was well.
Then the phone rang again, just now.
Me: Chickadee! You didn’t call back before! Did you get some saline?
Her: Yeah, the nurse had some eyewash stuff, she said it would work. It was fine.
Me: So you put your lens back in?
Me: Oh good, I’m glad that worked out.
Me: Wait. Why are you calling NOW?
Her: Because I forgot to call you back before.
Me: Ooooo… kay?
Me: Love you!
It would be wrong to staple a travel-size container of saline to her when she gets home today, right? Just checking.