So far

By Mir
July 23, 2009

Well, I’ve been in Chicago for less than a day, and so far I have:
* Walked around in circles at the airport, and been mocked by the shuttle drivers.
* Attempted to step over a velvet rope and instead snagged it with my foot and caused the support poles to fall over with a spectacular clang.
* Tripped on some stairs at the restaurant we went to last night (and when I then said, “I am SO CLUMSY!” to Chris, she responded, “Yeah, I’m really hungry, too,” so thank goodness for dinner companions with apparent hearing and vision problems).
* Spilled water all over the hotel desk while attempting to make myself some coffee, because lord knows I am not awake enough to make coffee until I’ve HAD SOME DAMN COFFEE.

I’m so sorry, Chicago. Chances are I’m going to step on your toe, later. I swear it’s an accident.


  1. Frank

    I’m thinking that Chicago will survive… unless you brought your Milking cow and choose to store her in a barn with really dry straw and stuff…. and oh yeah, that cow is afraid of the dark so you need to leave a lit kerosene lantern nearby…. (urban legends die slowly).
    If you look at it that way… I think you will be fine. :)

  2. highlyirritable

    See no evil, hear no evil. All you need now is a mute blogger to complete the trio.

  3. Tracy

    You are just too funny. I know EXACTLY what you mean by not able to make coffee until you’ve had some. I am the same way. Good luck Chicago! Happy Love-Thursday!

  4. Aimee

    Lol — you are a funny lady. And so clumsy! I mean pretty!

    I’m a klutz too. That whole velvet rope thing sounds exactly like something I would do.

  5. Jennifer

    That’s why you have to slam a Diet Coke before you try to make coffee. Except at the hotel, it’s probably like $10 a can….smug shuttle drivers. I hate the airport at St. Louis – I always end up driving to the wrong gate, the wrong parking, going around/past where I want to be due to wrong lane, construction, scared I’m going to get nailed by the shuttle driver, bad signage (my usual excuse) – so I use that as my excuse when after the 5th pass and I’ve “figured out” where I’m going to make the illegal u-turn and by then I’m ramped up enough that if I get pulled over I’ll either get a medal for surviving and no ticket or thrown in airport jail for being “on something”! Have fun in Chicago!

    Try to go to the “Tower formerly known as the Sears Tower” and stand on that glass ledge – I want to know what it’s really like!

  6. Jennifer

    I completely understand. I trip down stairs. I trip UP stairs. I trip on my own two feet at LEAST once a week. :)

  7. pam

    Here’s to the rest of the weekend being klutz free. I’m sending you good juju…

  8. Scottsdale Girl

    Stay away from stairs if at all possible. Gawd I hate me some stairs.

    Have FUN!

  9. Kelly

    You sound so much like me… I think we have to be related. Try to have an injury free rest of your trip!

  10. Mary

    Enjoy the Blogfest and try to enjoy our city-so much to see. How about Millennium Park?

  11. Jean

    When you tripped over the velvet rope? No one noticed the poles falling down because they were all admiring your gorgeous shoes!!

  12. Jamie AZ

    Spectacular Clang – maybe that can be your new “superhero” call?! Enjoy Chicago!

  13. parodie

    Hey, I did that with a velvet rope too, once (a few weeks ago). It’s nice to know other people do it too… :)

  14. Sue @ My Party of 6

    I was totally going to email you and tell you that you MUST get a flatiron after seeing the picture of you with straight hair. But, nevermind. They can be dangerous. :-)

    I don’t think Chicago will mind if you step on its toes if you have cute shoes on.

  15. Katie in MA

    There’s the Mir we all know and love! :) You’ll soon have Chicago wrapped around your pinky. Promise.

  16. Little Bird

    I can attest that as of 7pm the city is still standing. I think it’ll take more than few days to cause mayhem! Besides, I LIVE here, and as clutzy as I am the city survives! And speaking of shoes, Lori’s Shoes on Armitage is a must. Great shoes, fantastic prices. Hope you have fun while you’re here!

  17. Damsel

    Gawd, but you crack me up… and totally in an I-only-laugh-because-I-can-identify kinda way.

  18. Melissa D

    Next time I’m coming with you to save you from yourself. But I refuse to share hotel rooms, because what is the point of getting away from your kids if you cannot sleep alone?

  19. Nicki

    Wish I were there! Maybe next year. And rest assured, you’re not the only who can’t see to stop getting in her own way and making a spectacle of herself. I haven’t been able to bring myself to go back to Hampton Beach, NH after I lost my bathing suit going down a water slide there. So, as long as you avoid public nudity, you’ll be fine!

  20. MomCat

    Remember, Harry Potter: The Exhibition is still at the Museum of Science and Industry! No trip to Chicago would be complete without it, if you’re a total Sci Fi/Fantasy nerd like me.

  21. Lindy

    I went to Chicago as a kid once. My dad worked for the Lukemia Society and they sent him up there for about 4 days, and he decided to drag the rest of the family along, because, you know, most everything is being paid for by the company! And it’s traveling and culturing! And all that crap!

    We stayed in the Hilton, which given we are hillbillies and usually stay in Howard Johnsons with cigarette burns in the comforters, broken furniture and TV remotes that can only change the channels down and volume up, we thought it was pretty fancy schmancy. It even had two bathrooms! In one room!

    We hadn’t been there more than a few hours when my little brother announced he was going to take a dump and nobody come in. We said, “Bud, we’re the only people here, and it’s OUR room, and are fully aware you are doing your business in there. It’s not like someone is just going to march right in…”

    And right then the door flies open with some businessman and all his bags.

    So me being all of 12 or so and very protective of my little brother stands up on the bed and shouts something like “DON’T GO IN THERE MY BROTHER IS PINCHING A HUGE LOAF AND NEEDS HIS PRIVACY!”

    My brother screamed and was mortified and Mystery Businessman slammed the door without a word and mom thought it was all hilarious. We thought he was gone, but just a minute later, he opened it back up, saying this was his room and why hadn’t we left yet.

    So he and mom argued about whose fancy schmancy room it was, which was an experience for us, as my mother god bless her soul is a wonderful woman but a total pushover who hates confrontation.

    Seems they double booked the room. We got to keep it. We kept getting all his bar bills though, and luggage from the bellhop who seemed to think we should tip him even though it wasn’t our luggage. We finally got it straightened out.

    So pretty much that is the only thing I remember about Chicago whatsoever. That and it was the first time I ever flew in a plane, and I was terrified and somehow managed to get my arm stuck between the seats behind me and I had to ride like that for an hour and a half before dad finally got it out. They probably still have pictures.

  22. Sheila

    It least it wasn’t YOU that fell over with a spectacular clang. All’s well that end’s well.

  23. Leandra

    I say blame it on the contacts. I drop stuff on my shirt every time I eat and I when I was pregnant I used to blame it on the fact of my large belly.

    I have one word of advice about Chicago. DO NOT go into the Asian grocery stores in Chinatown if you are feeling the slightest bit queasy. Okay, that was more than one word, sorry about that.

  24. Daisy

    Chicago – as long as you keep your goat out of Wrigley Field, you’ll be okay.

  25. Little Bird

    I can back up Leandra’s advice about the grocery stores in Chinatown. And I’d like to amend it to all of Chinatown. It’s cool, but it smells. Then entire area. Really it does. Also, no goats at Wrigley Field. Seriously. The fans will be… angry.

  26. LiteralDan

    It’s okay, we don’t mind. We’re glad to have you here! I haven’t seen you around yet, so obviously I need to look harder.

    I plan to head back downtown some time tomorrow afternoon, but I think I have the flu or something and I may not live that long. What a weekend for it!

  27. Half Assed Kitchen

    The trick is to have the coffee ready to go before bed, so all you have to do is hit a button. Of course, if you hit it hard enough, that could cause the entire unit to crash to the floor.

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