What a long strange trip. . . you know

By Mir
April 7, 2009
Category Friends | Woohoo!

I honestly don’t remember how or when it started, but I know that it was not too long after I began blogging, so about five years ago.

Somehow, Kira and I found each other. We read each other’s blogs, we emailed, and—eventually—started chatting via Instant Messenger. Every night.

There I was on the East coast, and Kira in Colorado. By the time she would get her boys into bed, I’d be thinking about going to sleep, myself. But she’d appear online and I’d vow to just chat with her for a few minutes, and three hours later—stomach sore from laughing or crying or (often) both—I would tell her I had to get to sleep.

I’d been divorced a year, and had two small children. She’d been on her own with her three boys for longer—a veteran, you might say. There were days when she was pretty much the only thing standing between me and a nervous breakdown.

I went back into my archives to look for the first time I’d mentioned her, here. Funnily enough, the first instance is from June of 2004, back when I used to do something I called Friday Facts and Fiction. She’d brought this up:

Kira asks: Do I think I’ll date/marry again?

What are you talking about? I’m already married. To Brad Pitt. Bitch. (Fiction!!)

Well that’s the proverbial $64,000 question, isn’t it? I’m a very social person. Despite what you might find me saying on my down days, I figure it’s pretty much impossible that I will never date again. Never is a long time. So yeah, I’ll date. Get married again? Hmmmm. I dunno. I would like to, but I don’t know that it’s in the cards for me. I’m still a little too raw from the last couple of years’ events to consider a risk of that magnitude, again. (Truth.)

It was funny that she’d brought that up for a public post, because sometimes it felt like that was all we ever talked about. Not remarrying, per se, but wondering/prophesying about what the future held for us and our children.

I would say that no one would want to take on a single mom to two high-needs kids who spent so much time at the unemployment office. She would counter that no one would want a homeschooling mother of three who’d moved back in with her parents. And then we’d talk for hours about how we would find our happiness without mates, because we were good enough and smart enough and after all, there were cookies to be baked and eaten. Or something.

Three years ago, Kira got married again, and despite my protective and paranoid need to ferret out anything that might render her new beloved unworthy of her, I have to admit that Clay is as close to superhero as one hopes to see in this mortal coil.

I wasn’t able to be there when they wed, but when we talked, beforehand, Kira said, “Can you believe that this is even happening?” I told her that I always knew this day would come.

And then when I got married two years ago, Kira couldn’t be here; but we talked beforehand, and I said, “Can you believe that this is even happening??” And she told me that she’d always known that it would.

We no longer spend hours on Instant Messenger every night, because I’m guessing our husbands might find that odd. And it hasn’t been ALL flowers and sunshine—she is still one of the first people I turn to when I’m having a hard time, and she’s come to me, too, when there are bumps in the road—but our lives are infinitely better now than we’d ever imagined they could be, back then, back when we spent our nights talking about dreams that were lost and hopes we didn’t dare to have.

And yesterday, my very very dear friend did what I knew she someday would, all those years ago, back when we couldn’t see the future for ourselves but always held onto the glimmer of it for each other:

Welcome to the world, Sophia Ann. You’re a very lucky little girl—your mama is one of the most amazing people I know. (Your dad and brothers and sister are pretty cool, too.) I’m going to come sniff your delicious baby head just as soon as I can, but until then, I know you’re in excellent hands.

There is something about walking through the darkness with someone and then watching her light shine so brightly you can’t ever imagine anything could have ever dimmed it. I am a better, brighter person for having Kira in my life. And I couldn’t be more excited about Sophia than if she were my own. (Okay, let’s be honest—I’m more excited, this way. I still get to sleep all night, so… yeah.)

I know birth is one of those “everyday miracles.” But you’ll have to excuse me if I hold this one just a little more dear.


  1. Katie

    I love new baby smell! Yea!!

  2. Megan

    A beautiful tribute to friendship – and to the fact that things somehow, no matter how unlikely, sometimes just happen exactly as they should.

  3. Katie in MA

    Welcome to the world, Sophia Ann! Sweet baby girl, look at what sweet guardian angels you have watching over you! With such proud, beautiful, strong, and hilarious women looking over you, we all know you will one day conquer the world.

    Simply beautiful!

  4. The Other Leanne

    *clears throat, wipes nose*
    That is a beautiful tribute, Mir, to friendship and to life. So glad you were each there to remind the other that it can, and will, get better. This is the proof.
    Congratulations and blessings to all.

  5. Flea

    Ask if her tows smell like corn chips. I know puppy paws smell like corn chips …

    Congratulations, Kira! Sophia Ann is beautiful!

  6. Tracy

    I love the name Sophia. What a pretty, perfect baby with a pretty, perfect name. Congrats!

  7. dad

    My best wishes to Kira, Sophia, et al and my thanks to you for writing a “love Thursday” post on Tuesday.

    Or were you just a little confused by the sweet memory of baby head smell?

  8. Heidi

    Kira wrote on her wedding day, “Then I whispered, “This is my secret,” and tears stung my eyes because it was so true. “My secret is that I’m not marrying him for any of the sensible reasons. I’m marrying him because I love him. Because I feel like I’ve come home, and I just want to be with him.”

    Ow, ow–now MY eyes are stinging! That is so beautifully written. Now I hope she doesn’t mind that she has a new fan, and forgive me if I become stalkery and read her archives. Best wishes to all.

  9. Ann from Minnesota

    I must think the same way that your dad does – I was waiting for Happy Love Thursday at the bottom of the post. Congrats to all!

  10. Kelly

    Awww I have tears.

  11. Dawn


    You two ladies do give one reason to hope.

  12. Beachgal

    awesomeness…someday I will find friendship like that. Welcome to the world, Sophia.

  13. Leila

    Yippee…a girl! How exiting for Kira and her entire family. We’re looking forward to welcoming a new addition to our family in June, when Heather and Andy have their second child.

  14. Debbi

    Wow…you really are a beautiful wonderful friend! Kira is super lucky to have you in her life too!! :-)

  15. Burgh Baby

    It’s really hard for people who don’t do it to understand the connections you can make blogging, but thanks for pointing out just how valuable those connections can be.

    Congratulations to Kira!

  16. O.G.

    More people should read this blog. You have an amazing way with words.

  17. elizabeth

    ah, that new baby smell. and the ability to hand them back when they start to fuss. perfect combo. =)

  18. Andrea

    What beautiful words to honor such a great friend. You are both lucky to have found each other when you needed each other the most. Congratulations to Kira and Happy Birthday to Sophia.

  19. Lynette

    Now that is true friendship…

  20. MomCat

    Love Thursday came early this week! Blessings to the new mother and baby. *sniff*

  21. Amy-Go

    You really should include a kleenex warning with this post…*weep*

  22. Patricia

    Only your dad would have a wisecrack after that sweet post. This is why, when you aren’t looking, I’m totally stealing him — I will so ply him with Chinese food and coffee to do it too.

    I’m overjoyed for Kira — and for you. Really, there are enough happily ever afters and you and Kira are bright spots.

    And try to tell me that girl isn’t the most beautiful…just try.

  23. Neil

    Nice post not only about a new baby, but about friendship.

  24. Barbara

    You could have held this post for Thursday’s love.

    Very sweet.

    I love this blogging-gig. Haven’t been doing it as long as you, but time only increases my investment in the blogs I read regularly and the few bloggers I communicate with off-blog.

    Thanks, Mir.

  25. Jan in Norman, OK

    Just yesterday I was thinking about how you, Kira, and Joshilyn — three women I’m not likely ever to meet — have become so dear to me.

  26. Michelle

    Awww, how exciting!!!

  27. keyomi

    beautiful post.a friend in need is a friend indeed :)

  28. Grannycilla

    now I am SOBBING! What a precious baby and family, and having good friends to share it with, well that is the best! You will have to kiss her baby head for all of us.

  29. Kendra

    That smell is called fresh out of the womb and I do believe it should be bottled. Who doens’t love a new baby especially when it’s somebody elses. My sister in law just had her second and I think it’s awesome!!

  30. annette

    I love happy endings (or is it beginnings?) And babies. And friends. And reading your blog. And chocolate(not that that has anything to do with this, but I do!).

  31. becky

    Oh, Mir. That was absolutely lovely. I am just a teeny bit jealous that you have such a great friendship, but so happy for you that you do. Er, um, anyway. Like I said, that was lovely.

  32. Lady M

    Congratulations to Kira, and to you for recognizing true friendship!

    Cute, cute baby. Who will love the contents of garden someday, certainly.

  33. Kira

    Thank you, friend of mine. You’re such a gift to me.
    Love you.

  34. Cele

    Wow, what an amazing tribute to friendship. I remember watching a lot of it right here. Now I’m going to go cry myself to sleep with happy tears, because that was so darn beautiful.

  35. Mary

    Hi Mir! I found your blog as a link from Daisy’s and have been lurking in the background but had to comment on this one! Isn’t it amazing how we are able to become “friends” with folks we don’t even know thanks to this wonderful world we call the internet??? I just the other day posted about a “friend” of mine.

  36. Erika

    I am sitting at my desk with tears in my eyes. That is such a lovely post. I have been reading for a while and I remember your posts about you and your friend Kira. I am so glad for the both of you. Also, I have said this before but I must say it again, I just love your Dad! I always scroll down to see if he commented. His comments are as wonderful as your posts. Lucky you!

  37. Aimee


    That was beautiful.

    I do have to mention one other thing, though. Flea! Cat toes smell like corn chips too. What a strange phenomenon.

  38. mama speak

    my ovaries hurt now.
    i love new born baby smell.
    no more in my house.

    but i’m happy for all of you!

Things I Might Once Have Said


Quick Retail Therapy

Pin It on Pinterest