Total holiday implosion in 3. . . 2. . .

By Mir
December 24, 2008

I feel crappy.

Of course, this is a total change from the way I normally feel, which is… ummm… mostly crappy. And whenever I travel I usually manage to come down with something, because it’s a special talent of mine and also because my immune system is apparently a delicate flower. Also, there is a special circle of hell reserved for the experience of being sick away from home.

But the reality is that I’m probably not even sick. (I hope. I hope I hope IhopeIhope.) I’m just being a hypochondriac. A hypochondriac with an upset stomach. Possibly because my poor brother-in-law started puking up his toenails yesterday.

I mean, it’s MORE likely that my stomach is a little off because we’re eating differently—first two days of “road food” and now, lots of meals out and such—right? I could not possibly have whatever he has, right?

Right. Because if I DO have whatever he has, I’m going to have to kill him right before I kill myself. And I generally consider it poor form to slay your host, even if he does give you the plague. I mean, I’m sure Emily Post has a better solution to such a problem, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what it might be. Murder/suicide seems logical, but somewhat uncouth.

Meanwhile, the kids called from their dad’s house last night and Chickadee reported that she had a fever. I haven’t talked to them yet today, but so far Christmas is not looking so good.

Poor Otto doesn’t know what to do with himself—he never gets sick, and isn’t even terribly familiar with the timebomb that is a houseful of people with one germ-bearer in the midst. My nephews are running around and it’s unclear if we should be on spew alert. He doesn’t know if I’m actually sick or not (which is fine, as I’m not entirely sure, either) or at some point soon we’re going to have to decide if the kids should stay put with their dad or come here for Christmas eve and morning, as planned.

Next year when we do this, I’m bringing Haz-Mat suits for the entire family. It seems like the only reasonable solution.


  1. Mom to Six

    Lots of laundry and purell and lysol. It’s how I keep everyone else from getting the flu when one kid has it. Hugs Mir….and Merry Christmas.

  2. Barbara

    That’s the Christmas spirit, Mir!

    And along the lines of Mom to Six, change your pillow cases daily. Get a new toothbrush. Quit kissing. purell is so obnoxious on the face. You’re welcome!

  3. Megan

    Murder-suicide is totally couth. Just make sure you do it with the correct fork.

  4. Jean

    Oh, Mir, so sorry. That bug has been wending it’s way around the northeast since fall. Hope you don’t get really sick. Most tales I’ve heard say it’s short-lived.

    Best wishes for a Merry Christmas, in spite of it all!

  5. Sheila

    Deck the halls with bleach and Lysol…

    I sure hope your Christmas is uneventful (and by uneventful I mean non-barfing, of course).

  6. Holly

    Gah! I’m sorry, how crummy. If it makes you feel any better I ALWAYS think I’m coming down with any kind of stomach problem when my kids get it. I never actually do, though. Chin up, you probably aren’t really sick(I hope I hope I hope!) Sending all my positive no-puking vibes!

  7. RuthWells

    Purell in every stocking?

    I’m sorry — being sick ’round the holiday sucks.

  8. Burgh Baby

    It ain’t a good holiday if there ain’t puke and snot involved.

    Hope y’all have a very merry Christmas!

  9. Sharon

    Fresh air helps – open a window and go for a walk. Wishing you and your family good health and a Merry Christmas.

  10. Lylah

    Should I ply you with more soup? It might help…

  11. Half Assed Kitchen

    I so hope you don’t get the vomit for Christmas! Maybe everything will turn out just fine. Maybe your brother in law ate something rank.

  12. Kath

    Merry Blechmas … I hope you all survive!

  13. crockpot lady

    oh ick.
    Merry Christmas, Mir!

  14. Jamie AZ

    A few years ago we had a Stomach Flu Christmas with all 10 people in the house in various stages of getting it, throwing it up, laying around trying to get rid of it and then fine. Not fun over a 3-4 day period. Luckily the kids were too young to notice that we did “Christmas” morning on 12/26.

    I wish you a fantastic Christmas, filled with more fun and good cheer than vomit.

  15. Scottsdale Girl

    If it is the flu that went around here (Thank you FLU SHOT I did not get it) it lasts only about 24 hours. But you do NOT see it coming…so I doubt you have it. :)

    Merry Christmas!

  16. jennielynn

    Yuck! We’re wrestling with a little bug here, but there is no puking. The spew is more of a southernly variety. Hope you are all feeling better soon!

  17. JennyM

    Oh, man — I hope you are ok! I’m bitter because I managed to contract The Crud about a week ago and can’t shake it, but so far (please please) no spew factor. I blame this on the Global Warming We’re All Going to Die Weather we’ve been having. Deep Freeze! Balmy Tropical Evening! Snow! Shorts Weather! Ice! Just kidding!

    One of the most disillusioning things about adulthood is the realization that you don’t really get to stay home and read books on sick days. No, the world continues to go on and has the gall to require your active participation.

    Have a very Merry Christmas and here’s to swift recovery for all!

  18. Deborah P

    My sister just told me that her youngest grandchild gave her a Christmas gift early – diarrhea and congestion! Good thing he’s so cute. Hopefully, your brother-in-law ate something that didn’t agree with him, as HAK suggested and Chickadee’s fever goes away very very quickly. If not, Merry Christmas, anyway.

  19. kd@abitsquirrelly

    At least you won’t gain weight over Christmas. Right? Feel better and Merry Christmas!

  20. Lisa- Domestic Accident

    Just finished with the stomach bug here. It had a 5 day incubation period, so I think it’s too soon for you to get sick- unless you picked up something else earlier. I mean, I’m sure all your potty stops were totally sanitary. Bathrooms on the road usually are.

    Besides, nothing says love, passionate love, like murder/suicide!

  21. SoMo

    I say everyone gets leach baths, tonight. Merry Puke Free Christmas.

  22. Mike Golch

    Mir,Merry Christmas to you and your family.

  23. Just Beaux

    Hazmat Suits really are the only way to go.
    Hope you have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!

  24. Chuck

    Nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

    (Bonus geek points if you know the movie that’s from without looking.)

    Seriously, hope you and the kids are not ill and that everyone feels better soon.

  25. Marti

    Hope you feel better soon. Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!

  26. jp

    If it’s any consolation, Mothers RARELY get sick enough………..

    Grandkids had the “Choke and Puke”, quickly followed by colds and congestion. We are anxiously waiting to see who gets it next!

    Probably Gump will get it, oh, about Jan 1st when we head down to FlA.

    What fun!!!

    Enjoy your Holidays, one way or another!


  27. Laura

    Oh, I feel for you. I caught the vomiting crud last New Year’s…. also visiting relatives far from home.

    If you have a norovirus, I highly recomment getting yourself to the nearest sympathetic doctor (or walk-in clinic) and begging for Zofran. It may give you a headache, but it will stop the vomiting.

    Of course, you may not actually get sick! I’ll keep my fingers that you have, in fact, merely eaten too much rich food.

  28. Aimee

    Gah! I hope you feel better. I hope the stomach thing is just residual nausea from tasting that circus peanut. (Really, Otto?) I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas with no spewing.

  29. Stephanie

    I’m really sorry you’re feeling bad, Mir. Hope Chickadee’s fever was just from being overtired or something very short=lived. No one should have to travel 18 hours through a snowstorm to the arctic and then be sick! Feel better!

  30. Just Beaux

    Well, actually if you are in said Hazmat Suit while getting sick then it isn’t the best way to go. Because that would just get messy. Now I want to know who said, “Nuke it from orbit.”

  31. Asianmommy

    So sorry that everyone is getting sick. It’s the season, right? We’re sick, too.

  32. Paula

    Oh my, over here the viruses also found their victims,next door two half-dead men snoring (husband and son), snuffing and moaning. BUT THEY WON’T GET ME!! Because who is going to do the care? I put vitamin C powder and zinc into my apple juice, open the window to let cold air in and keep up.

    I wish you a quick recovery!


  33. Kirsty

    If it’s any consolation (which, if you guys are indeed barfing, it probably won’t be), my younger daughter, who’s 4 and a half, started getting chicken pox spots on Christmas Eve morning and is now, on Christmas Eve day, sitting in her pyjamas covered in spots, with a high temperature, trying very hard not to scratch and feeling like the Christmas she’s been looking forward to for WEEKS has been stolen from her. She was even too tired and miserable last night to get Santa’s snack tray ready…
    Ill at Christmas really sucks!
    Hope you’re feeling better and that the holidays are fun all the same!

  34. Crisanne

    Hope you are feeling well this morning, Mir! We had “the bug” not long ago and it was a swift one. I do, however, always get a bit of sympathy illness whenever someone begins barfing up their toenails.

    A very Merry Christmas to you and yours!!

  35. mama speak

    Hope that you didn’t get the puking crud for X-mas. I’m pretty sure you were a good girl this year.

    We’ve been passing the Fifth Disease around our house for the last couple weeks. Let me tell you Big Fun! Ended up canceling X-mas eve and hanging at home. Other than the fact that we missed some amazing food (we did get the invite for leftover on the 26th, which is really better anyway,) it was actually pretty nice.

    Have a glass of wine, I hear it cures everything!

  36. Lorraine

    OK, I just commented on your last post, but I’d love to share more. We’ve had 4 cousins from Montana staying with us, and while everyone else celebrated Christmas Eve at Grandma’s, my husband and I stayed home with poor, puking 10 year old (and, truth be told, it was actually rather lovely between trips to the bathroom). Little sister got it Friday night, I got it Saturday morning, cousin #1 on Sunday… Maybe it’s done now. Or it will hit the others on their road trip back to MT. Anyhow, Happy New Years from Minnesota! And talk about STUPID driving – you should see the snow here!

  37. Katie in MA

    Oh, I hope I hope I hope your next entry is about what I think it’s going to be about…

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