Later we’re gonna egg some Tonkas

By Mir
September 17, 2008

The good news is that last night’s soiree was a fun, fun time and the food was AMAZING. No, I’m not being braggy—I didn’t cook. I didn’t do anything, actually. This event was a work thing and so it was completely planned out by People Who Are Not Me and also possibly magical wood elves who sprinkled fairy dust everywhere, because I can guarantee you that if I had been the one planning it, we would’ve had a bottle of wine and a bowl of pretzels and someone would’ve been in tears at the end. Probably me. But no, because this was a Fancy To Do, a catering team swooped in and set up an entire kitchen IN MY GARAGE and promptly cooked up enough food for an army of people who are hoping to die with clogged arteries and smiles on their faces.

The bad news is that I am so ill I’m just a whiny, blubbery mess. You know how sometimes you can’t be sick? Like, say, when you’re throwing a big party at your house? And so you take a bunch of cold medicine and put on your happy face and actually have a great time, but then everyone leaves and you fall all to pieces and can’t sleep because you feel so miserable?

Yeah. So, there’s that. I’ll try to keep the whining to a minimum. In fact, I may just go back to bed in a minute here.

Anyway, as I said, there was an insane amount of delicious food, and a lot of people here, and my children (hey, correct me if you were here last night and disagree) were stunning. I mean, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve ever said to them “And I expect you to be on your BEST BEHAVIOR,” and they agreed and then went completely out of their minds, anyway, I would have a whole lotta nickels. But last night they were polite and cheerful and generally made me very proud. Either they’re really growing up or the taser behavior modification is having an impact.

Chickadee got to help one of the folks in charge with a raffle; she got to be Vanna and pull names, which I think she enjoyed. And as Monkey clearly thought he’d died and gone to Cheese Heaven when he beheld the many varieties of cheese cubes, he was dubbed the Official Tester. (Which is nicer, I guess, than saying, “Hey, Mir, your kid’s eating all the cheese.”)

At one point I looked around and realized I hadn’t seen Monkey in a while, and just as I was realizing that, he came trotting in from the garage with a giant bowl that contained a single over-easy quail egg. (The quail eggs were toppers for another dish.) “Hi, Mom!” he called, all casual, as he sat down at my feet. “I just made this quail egg, and now I’m going to eat it.”

“Wait. What? You MADE that quail egg??” He nodded, though most of his attention was on carefully slicing the egg in two with the side of his fork. He plopped a forkful in his mouth, and as I’ve never seen my son eat a quail egg (or even an over-easy chicken egg) before, I said, “Is it good?” He said that it was delicious, and ate the rest.

It turned out that he’d wandered out to the garage to watch the caterers cook, and he was completely enamored of the tiny little quail eggs, so during a lull the head chef had let him crack one and fry it up for himself. This was, to Monkey, just about the most exciting thing that could’ve possibly happened.

When it was all over and the caterers were packing up, I asked if they were taking the leftovers or leaving them. They said they’d leave me everything that would keep (so nice!) and by the time they’d whisked away all of the dirty dishes and everything, my fridge was packed to the gills.

This morning while I was getting the kids their breakfast and slurping Airborne, Chickadee asked what food was left over. I told her that I wasn’t sure, because it was all in white boxes, but that we could investigate later on. And then while rearranging a bit to get to the lunch meat so that I could make sandwiches to pack for lunch, I discovered that in addition to eleventy white boxes of delicious gourmet foods, the caterers also left us a dozen quail eggs.

I don’t really know what to do with them (or how long they’ll keep), but I guess I could just ask Monkey to fry ’em up for me.


  1. Crisanne

    Wow, what a nice treat when you are not feeling well-a fridge full of dinner options that you don’t have to cook!

    And please do go take that nap…those kids will be home before you know it needing snacks and homework help and you’ll need your energy.

  2. bob

    left-over quail eggs = ceasar salads for everyone!

    or beef tartar?

    yummy yummy?

  3. Jill W.

    You know what would probably make you feel better? Pathwords. ; )

  4. Jill W.

    Oh, and glad the party went well.

  5. Em

    I’m glad to hear it was a success. And just think, all of those people at that party can only assume that your children are always as perfect and angelic as they were last night (and that they are that way because of good parenting of course). Gotta love a perfectly timed angelic spell.

    I hope you feel better today. Eat chocolate. It kills cold germs. If you don’t feel better immediately, eat more.

  6. ImpostorMom

    The party was lovely and you are correct, your children were delightful. I came home absolutely stuffed from all the wonderful food. I intended to “taste” most everything and then just ended up eating it all. Thanks for the invite!

  7. Megan

    Loverly! Although it’s a shame that the universe had to balance extremely successful event, good food and beautifully behaved children with enormous amounts of snot and coldish misery for you. Darn old universe.

  8. Melissa

    Girlfriend. I had no idea you had the crud. You were a model and even fabulous hostess and your house looked amazing and the food is what I want catered at every event I ever have from now on ever ever ever. Hope you feel better xoxoxo M

  9. Liz

    When you are feeling better write two letters to the catering company. One praising the job they did, the food, the clean up etc. The second one thanking them for the wonderful way they interacted with your son. That way they can use the letters as reccommendations for different events they might bid for.

  10. Randi

    I’ve never had quail eggs, but good for Money for trying them?! And how cool that the caterers left you the food! Sweet! Too bad you feel to sick to enjoy it! Hope you feel better soon!!!

  11. Katie in MA

    It sounds like you did a *really* excellent job picking our your shower curtain! When you said you didn’t even have to cook, I just *knew* that you had found one that would do the cooking for you. (Hey, if anyone could, it would be you.)

  12. Melissa

    Oh and if I’d known they left leftovers in your fridge I would have definitely spent the night! :-)

  13. Rachel

    Ha, ha! “or the taser behavior modification is having an impact”. Love your blog!! Take that nap & feel better soon! I too am just getting over 10 days of yuck, so I understand your need for a nap. You do look very pretty today though!

  14. Tammy

    I agree with Katie, the shower curtain did the trick. Congrats!

  15. Maki

    Good to hear you’re feeling better! Quail eggs, eh? I eat it sometimes when I’m back in Japan or Hawaii. I really don’t see it around here in Florida though! Very funny posting – thank you again:D

  16. Aimee

    That’s really sweet that they left the quail eggs. I bet they left them for Monkey, so go ahead, let him cook them up.

  17. Karen

    I was there and can confirm that Mir had a smile plastered on her face, that her children were angels, and that the food was amazing. I saw no evidence of tasers.

    Oh, by the way, Otto was very well behaved, too.

  18. Sheila

    I know what’s for dinner: Scrambled Eggs Super! Special deluxe a la Monkey T. Hooper!

    And P.S.: despite feeling cruddy, I think you’re living the life of Riley, my friend.

  19. The Other Leanne

    Hmph. My invitation musta got lost in the mail. :)
    Rest and feel better, everyone knows quail eggs on toast are the cure for the common crud.

  20. zeghsy

    wow. maybe you have a budding chef on your hands. if so, my monkey will be over to test the food. :)

  21. Andrea

    Mmm…delicious food that you didn’t have to prepare. Isn’t that the best kind??
    You are still so witty even when you are sick! :)
    Get well, Mir!!

  22. Tatiana

    It’s really cool that the caterers took a few minutes to show Monkey how to do something so adult and interesting :] I don’t think I’ve ever had a quail egg myself…

  23. tammy

    Yeah, the food was okay, but OH MY GOD! YOUR SHOWER CURTAIN!!!!

    It totally made the party. Totally. Angels sang in the bathroom.

    (I kid. Seriously, tho… we had a lovely time, thank you so much for inviting us! That was a lot of fun!)

  24. The Other Lori

    So glad the new shower curtain sealed the deal on the party. Imagine how awful it would have been with that old shower curtain! The horror!

    Feel better soon. Parties are hard enough without adding illness to the mix. Ugh.

  25. Jessica (from It's my life...)

    Mmmmm quail’s eggs… My dad used to fry them up sunny side up with a dash of paprika. So so good.
    Hope all that yummy left over stuff helps you feel tons better!

  26. Denise Harris

    So after discovering Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda three weeks ago, I made it my quest to read it from start to finish. Today, my journey is complete. I am now up to date on all of the goings on in Mir’s life. (okay, that sounds creepy and a bit obsessive. Ew. Sorry.)
    ANYWAY, this has been an awesome read. I really enjoy your writing and look forward to checking in with you each day.
    Thanks for every last bit of it,


  27. Barbara

    Wow – the word that went through my mind, too – same as the first word of the first comment. Great story, Mir. Illness does not affect your abilities here.

  28. Astrogirl

    Mmmm, quail eggs. There was (is? I think they’re still there) a restaurant by the name of Rodizio’s out in Denver that was a Brazilian (I think) bbq joint (well, not in the sense of southern bbq, but more just a meat-a-palooza; they had like 50 kinds of meat brought around by servers, and you could just taste whatever you wanted. Oh, tasty murder indeed) that had quail eggs in the salad bar (it was a fancy salad bar). They were mighty good.

    Maybe this is Monkey’s new calling? He sounded quite psyched about the cooking – maybe a kids’ cooking class at the local library or college is just the thing?

    Anyway, glad to hear about the party success, and the leftovers. Sorry to hear about the crud. Lots of tea – that’s my recommendation. And rest.

  29. Leandra

    Ditto all of the above who were in attendance — excellent kids, excellent food, good times!

    It truly was a lot of fun and you were an excellent hostess who did a great job of hiding the fact that she felt like crap! Hope you feel better soon! Get some rest!

    Must be something in the air, though, ’cause I’m home today with a 3 year old with croup.

  30. LiteralDan

    I have to wonder how different quail eggs taste from other eggs.

    When you repeated back “you made that egg?” I figured you were objecting to his phrasing. He could make a lot of money popping out quail eggs at carnivals across the state. And at restaurants, apparently.

  31. Nancy

    Taser modification…snort.

  32. All Adither

    For some reason I have no problem with the idea of chicken eggs (probably because I’ve been eating them from birth.) But quail eggs? Isn’t that tantamount to eating pigeon eggs? Or crow eggs?

    Perhaps not.

  33. Brigitte

    I’ve had duck eggs. Tried ’em in baking too, but they’re too big and made the cookies kinda puffy and cake-like. Eggs is eggs! (well, except for those exotic asian varieties you may see on Andrew Zimmern or somesuch)

    I also love the taser behavior modification, some days I think the teachers at my daughter’s preschool could use that on some of the kids. ;-)

  34. ATLCheap

    I can handle eating chicken eggs, but the idea of eating quail eggs makes my stomach turn. At least Monkey’s getting his protein & taking an interest in cooking.

  35. jennielynn

    What nice caterers! I love when professionals are kind to children and make them feel special.

  36. Daisy

    Monkey got to cook his own quail egg? And now he might get to make more? That’s awesome.

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