Why yes, it HAS been six months since my last mammogram ALREADY. Thank you so much for remembering. You know how I do so love spending the entire morning having my boobs squashed between plexiglass in the name of health. No, I’ve never had breast cancer. Nor do I plan to. But until my breasts stop being lumpy I seem to have drawn the scan/poke/prod card when it comes to mammary health.
You’re welcome. (Me so sexy!)
Anyway, now that we’re all picturing my LUMPY BOOBS (sorry, Dad) (sorry, Otto), I have to go run over to the hospital to have them smashed. FABULOUS.
Since I’m short on time, I thought I would point out something fun you could do this week if you had some extra time and the inclination or whatever.
Hint: It involves books! And one of my favorite people!
Some of you may know that I have this friend who sometimes writes some books? And it turns out that when she writes those books, her publishing house often sends her out into the world to entertain those of us who like to go get our books signed. It is great fun, even if sometimes Joshilyn gets confused and signs my arm instead of my book.
Anyhoo, this coming Thursday night, Joshilyn Jackson is gonna be in my ‘hood. That means that if you’re a fan of hers, you should come on over to Borders to hear her talk and get your book signed. I will be there with a dozen of my closest friends, too, making faces at Joss while she speaks, because I am a toddler.
(If you think I’m kidding, you’ve clearly not attended one of her signings with me.) (Come to think of it, Joss is extremely lucky to have me as a friend, no?)
We’ll be basking in Joshilyn’s glow and talking about her new book, The Girl Who Stopped Swimming, and NOT discussing my boobs at all. It’s going to be VERY MUCH FUN and you should come if you live anywhere ’round here. It’s free and entertaining and will make you feel all cultured and stuff.
Joshilyn will be the one up front being fabulous, and I will be the one wearing cute shoes and making faces at her. And really, what else would you rather be doing than hanging out with us at 7:30 on a Thursday night? Having a mammogram?