Mammogram antidote

By Mir
April 7, 2008

Why yes, it HAS been six months since my last mammogram ALREADY. Thank you so much for remembering. You know how I do so love spending the entire morning having my boobs squashed between plexiglass in the name of health. No, I’ve never had breast cancer. Nor do I plan to. But until my breasts stop being lumpy I seem to have drawn the scan/poke/prod card when it comes to mammary health.

You’re welcome. (Me so sexy!)

Anyway, now that we’re all picturing my LUMPY BOOBS (sorry, Dad) (sorry, Otto), I have to go run over to the hospital to have them smashed. FABULOUS.

Since I’m short on time, I thought I would point out something fun you could do this week if you had some extra time and the inclination or whatever.

Hint: It involves books! And one of my favorite people!

Some of you may know that I have this friend who sometimes writes some books? And it turns out that when she writes those books, her publishing house often sends her out into the world to entertain those of us who like to go get our books signed. It is great fun, even if sometimes Joshilyn gets confused and signs my arm instead of my book.

Anyhoo, this coming Thursday night, Joshilyn Jackson is gonna be in my ‘hood. That means that if you’re a fan of hers, you should come on over to Borders to hear her talk and get your book signed. I will be there with a dozen of my closest friends, too, making faces at Joss while she speaks, because I am a toddler.

(If you think I’m kidding, you’ve clearly not attended one of her signings with me.) (Come to think of it, Joss is extremely lucky to have me as a friend, no?)

We’ll be basking in Joshilyn’s glow and talking about her new book, The Girl Who Stopped Swimming, and NOT discussing my boobs at all. It’s going to be VERY MUCH FUN and you should come if you live anywhere ’round here. It’s free and entertaining and will make you feel all cultured and stuff.

Joshilyn will be the one up front being fabulous, and I will be the one wearing cute shoes and making faces at her. And really, what else would you rather be doing than hanging out with us at 7:30 on a Thursday night? Having a mammogram?


  1. Leandra

    Well, dang it. I can’t come. You’ll just have to make faces without me.

  2. tori

    I so wish I lived close enough to make it make sense for me to go with you. It is just too far for a sane person to make the trip I think, and while I am not claiming to be completely sane, I do think I need to skip it. I love her books, and really want to read this one too.

  3. Megan

    Totally believe that you are capable of Representing all of us who can’t be there with truly inspired face making. You do, after all, have two under-10 children and nothing, nothing in the world can prepare you so thoroughly.

  4. Flea

    I’ll be making faces long distance. :( ;P

  5. All Adither

    Hmm. Wonder if she’s coming to Seattle. Author readings are one of my favorite ways to entertain myself. That and looking at my boobs through clear slabs of plastic.

  6. Sue

    Too far for me to make it. :-( But I may send a local representative! Whenever I have a mammogram, I treat myself to expensive shoes afterward. (Mammo place just happens to be right next to DSW.) So I forget about the boob squishing thing and make it all about the shoes. But keep those girls healthy! And your feet happy.

  7. Sophie/Stacey

    Rats, that’s a little too far for me, too. Sounds like fun, though.

  8. Aimee

    Humph. I’d love to come. But I do think 3,000 miles is probably a bit extravagant for a book reading, even if it is the fabulous Joshilyn and her book that made me WEEP and REND MY GARMENTS because of its beauty.

  9. ImpostorMom

    I saw the poster promoting this event at that very bookstore this weekend. And wouldn’t you know it I thought of you. Wish I could come but the husband works nights which leaves me home with the toddler. So very sad.

  10. Cele

    I was totally bummed because I couldn’t go to Portland to see her last month. It was mid week and ahhh bummer days.

    So please make a face for me. To all who have not gotten their copy or even borrowed a copy to read,”The Girl Who Stopped Swimming” is Joshlyn Jackson at her best. Delightful, devour it all up in one read book.

  11. jennielynn

    Joshilyn really needs to get herself out to Northern California. I would LOVE to make faces at her during a reading.

  12. Katie in MA

    Ha ha ha ha, Oh, Mir, you are so FUNNY! Because I’ve been reading your blog for an entire year (annnnnd, I read the entire archive) and we all know that you will not be able to NOT talk about your boobs for an entire evening! Inconceivable! (And yes, that word means exactly what I think it means.)

    Hunh. You know what? Now that I’m thinking about it, maybe you should run with that. Instead of making funny faces at Joss, just periodly yell out the word, “BOOB!”

    And then you can blame it all on having just spent the weekend in NYC. :)

  13. Melissa

    I went to see Joshilyn read in Decatur last week — my big night out! with mascara! and not wearing yoga pants! — and it was SO worth it.

  14. Joshilyn

    O ZOMGAH — BUTBUTBUT! I was in Seattle. And in Northern California. Just last month on tour…just not Colorado, but a lot of places MUCH closer than Colorado than your map indicates. SO sorr, but that was MARCH>>> The tour is over now and I am close to home. Hope to see you fellow Georgians there.

  15. Flea

    ‘K, so splain the title of this post to me again?

  16. Jennifer

    damn,damn,damn… it’s spring break and i’m out of town or else i totally would’ve been there since i’m just up the road… had never even heard of joshilyn until you mentioned her in your blog a month or so ago and i’ve since read the first two books and become a huge fan… thanks for that!

  17. TC

    I would have TOTALLY flown from Los Angeles to Georgia for the reading, but now that I know we’re NOT going to talk about your boobs…well, what’s the point?

    Come to LA, Joshilyn!

  18. Shelly

    I am seriously thinking about driving an hour & a half to Athens on a Thursday night to attend this. Her books are great. And I’d get to see (stalk) Mir. LOL hhhhmmmm…Maybe I will.

  19. Andrea

    OMG…I devoured that book over our spring break trip at the end of March. So GOOD!!!! :) And since I did just take a big trip and since I’m far from you Mir, I will have to miss out. Joshilyn is such a gifted author. I ADORE the magic she weaves with her characters.

  20. kris

    Of course. The week something exciting happens in my hometown, I’m out of town! :(

  21. Daisy

    If she braves the frigid North to come to my neck of the Northwoods, I’ll go!

  22. sophie

    I loved her first book, now I have to go see how far behind I am!

    My aunt had her first mammogram (I think), and the tech was one of her daughter’s friends from high school….one of the boy type friends. Every time I want to feel sorry that I have to go to the boob masher, I remember it could be worse.

  23. Brigitte

    Doofus that I am, it’s just as well I don’t live close. I’d go, then just lurk in some out-of-the-way corner feeling terrified and sneaking glances at you and Josh, and never summoning up the courage to introduce myself and say how much I enjoy your blogs, then I’d mentally berate myself about it for ages to come. :-)

    I hope you don’t have to get the round-boobs-in-a-square-hole scan again.

  24. LiteralDan

    Glad I don’t have to get a mammogram
    And wish I could stop by to make faces too– sounds a lot more fun than sitting around here making faces at the wall

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