We’ll always have Pyrex

By Mir
February 4, 2008

I refuse to believe that my days of trash-talking the Giants and making fun of my father for being a Giants fan are to blame for the Patriots having screwed up royally last night. Hey, I’m not the one who let all those guys hit Tom Brady. Though I’d sort of like to hit Tom Brady, myself, now.

Preferably in the knees. With Bill Belichick. But whatever.

We have various “posters” (the kids spent half the afternoon making them) cheering on the Patriots all over the house, still, and the children—who went to bed at halftime—ate their breakfast in glum silence. “But they were WINNING when we went to BED!” they protested, as if perhaps the Patriots’ loss was a cruel joke I was playing on them. I put brownies in their lunch to ease the sting.

And no, we’re not Rabid Football People or anything, but given our recent move we rather considered ourselves ambassadors of Patriots Cheer. We were prepared to show the south all that New England has to offer!

Apparently all New England has to offer is… ummm… oh! We have good food!

We had a party here, you know, so that we could celebrate the Patriots’ perfect season…? WHATEVER. We drowned our sorrows in a medley of excellent foods, and there may have been some beer involved, so the night wasn’t a TOTAL loss.

Otto makes this smoked buffalo chicken tenders… THING… that has no proper name. We just call it Chicken Crack. (As in, you will be unable to tear yourself away from the dish.) So he made a big mess of Chicken Crack, and I tried out this recipe I stole from Karen to whip up a crockpot full of chili, and OH. MY. LORD. I shall never go back to my old chili recipe. It was AMAZING. And then, of course, we had to have some Bean Crack, as well, and I made that with veggie crumbles instead of meat (because we had vegetarians coming, lovely people who will never know the ecstasy that is Chicken Crack). And then, of course, we had various chips and cut veggies and stuff.

Our guests provided a whole ‘nother layer of munchy goodness, including (but not limited to) homemade hummus that would make the Baby Jesus weep with joy, chocolate chocolate-chip brownies, buttermilk pie, and more alcohol.

The various children ran around upstairs and came down long enough to eat chips and pretend to eat something more substantial until whichever mother was present would agree to let them have dessert, and then they ran back upstairs again.

At one point I went up to check on them, and Chickadee was leading two other little girls in a nice, quiet game with the dollhouse… and Monkey and rest of the boys had all squeezed into a foot-wide section of space between the couch and the wall. There were four of them crammed into a space approximately Monkey’s size. Apparently you do not have to be a clown or in a fraternity to feel the urge to stuff a bunch of friends into a tiny space, just MALE. They were all giggling madly, which I thought was pretty impressive, given that they couldn’t actually breathe.

There were no injuries, which was nice, because it meant that we adults were free to continue eating and yelling at the television.

Half our guests left at halftime, and the remainder trickled out thereafter, and so by the time the game ended, only one guest was left. After he went, Otto and I spent about fifteen minutes cleaning up, during which time my father marveled at how well we worked together and how quickly we were able to put everything to rights. It was a proud, proud moment for me, because of all the major life accomplishments of which I am proud—college, grad school, getting published for the first time, giving birth to two extremely large-headed children—it’s a tender time in a girl’s life when her daddy fully appreciates just how adept she is at putting leftovers in the refrigerator. Despite my disappointment over the Patriots’ loss, I’ll always have these warm memories of my dad’s admiration of how I loaded the dishwasher to cheer me up.


  1. Jessica @ A Bushel and a Peck

    Gah. Last night sucked…I never imagined I would be so despondent over one football game. But 18-1 just doesn’t have the same ring to it. I am eating leftover key lime cheesecake for breakfast to drown my sorrows.

  2. All Adither

    Dishwasher loading skills are nothing to sneeze at. Neither are ‘working well with your husband’ skills.

  3. chris

    Loading the dishwasher is am important skill. One my children can not seem to do right. I fully hope one day I can marvel at their ability to clean up properly. Otherwise I will die feeling unfulfilled. You think I’m joking?

  4. Amy-Go

    Soooooo…the Superbowl was last night?

  5. ImpostorMom

    That chili does look interesting, I may have to try that the next time I make chili for us. We used to have super bowl parties before Boog and I longed to make my two staple dips for just the two of us last night but I didn’t. I just couldn’t bring myself to have Buffalo Chicken Dip and Pizza Dip for dinner when there wasn’t a whole mess of people around. That Buffalo Chicken Dip could qualify as chicken crack as well.

  6. Sara

    I’m so sorry for your loss (as a Colts fan, typing that with a straight face and something resembling sincerity has taken much strength) but you know, your dad was probably just trying to keep the gloat in and that’s the best he could come up with. So, you’ve got mad kleen-up skillz. It’s not the Lombardi trophy, but it ain’t nothin’.
    We were at a party with addicting things as well: Crack Artichoke Dip, Crack Homemade Potato Skins and Crack Raspberry Cream Cheese Angel Food Cake among other things. All-in-all, not a bad way to spend a Sunday evening.

  7. Megan

    So… no Chicken Crack recipe? Where’s the love??

  8. Janssen

    With the chicken crack recipe, I’m requesting the weeping hummus recipe.

  9. prophet

    I’m with Megan and Janssen – nicely requesting chicken crack recipe. . . . [nicely for now, anyway. and did I mention that it’s my birthday? No. . . . I am not making that up. So – pretty please?]

    Sorry you were sad about the Patriots. . . . But we were all kind of thrilled to see the underdog win. And besides, if Payton couldn’t win, I was kind of glad to see his kid brother do it.

    does that totally disqualify me from getting the [nicely] requested recipe? Even if it IS my birthday?

  10. The Mom Bomb

    You guys are WAY impressive with the food — no matter what the occasion. We had chips, dip and beer. I like to tell people that I’m a “food minimalist.”

    Living in NJ, of course we HAD to root for the Giants. I say it’s bad karma coming to bite Tom Brady in the butt after dumping Bridget Moynihan while she was pregnant and then flaunting the skanky model Gisele.

  11. jennielynn

    I actually read InStyle and Time whilst the hubs watched the game. Since I didn’t root against the Pats, may I pleeeese have the Chicken Crack recipe? I’ll be you best friend. Give you my cupcake at lunch? I’ll give you the meatball crack recipe. C’mon Mrs. Otto…

  12. The Other Leanne

    Wow, I wish I’d been at your house! And I wish I had the Chicken Crack recipe. And I wish the phrase of the day were “…from which the Giants just weren’t able to recover.”
    Alas, the time clock she is a cruel (w)itch.

  13. Bob

    no wonder you liked the chili – it has bacon in it.

  14. Esther

    You have to admit though — that pass from Manning to Tyree was unbelievable. And I’m a Cowboys fan, not a Giants fan!

  15. Ann

    Must have Chicken Crack! Please post the recipe! Sounds like it would be a winner in my household!

  16. Zuska

    Ditto Esther’s comment on Manning’s pass. And even though I’m a Giant fan, can you please post the hummus recipe? Please?

  17. Burgh Baby's Mom

    SPLAT! goes Tom Brady. (Sorry, I bleed black and gold and did find a little bit of joy in the happenings. But I do geniunely understand your pain. All too well, in fact.)

    I agree with all the peeps up there that said Hummus recipe, please. Pretty, please? If I aplogize for the SPLAT! thing?

  18. mama speak

    I did the appropriate thing and went shoe shopping (albeit for my kids) during the superbowl. More of a hockey fan myself; GO SHARKS.

    PS–when are you starting a reciepe blog so you can post all the crack receipes you know of? I would like a subscription please.

    And I’m on pain pill so I do not take responsiblity for the spelling and grammer in this post.

  19. elizabeth

    yeah, I read a book and only watched commercials. my fav – the e-trade baby and the “under estimated creepiness” of the clown. and when did Tom Petty get so old? geesh.
    pretty please post the chicken crack recipe. I can’t wait to make the bean dip and chili. they sound awesome.

  20. arduous

    That chilli looks AMAZING. I definitely want to try it, but I have an embarassing cooking novice question. If I don’t own a dutch oven can I just make it in a big pot?

  21. mike golch

    As far as the giants winning I’m glad they did,just because they fought from as a wild card team to going to the superbowl.As for Eli Manning I’m glad that he got the ring now he is no longer in his brother payton’s shadow.

  22. Chuck

    Sorry your team didn’t win, but I am not capable of ever rooting for a team that Randy Moss plays for. Well, my Packers got beat by the Giants also…at least now I can take consolation in the fact that the team they lost to went all the way.

  23. Beachgal

    I also bleed black and gold, and was rooting for the Giants for no real reason. In the grand scheme of things, it matters not tho. Chicken crack recipe would be great!!!!

  24. angie

    The Giants had to win, because of all the arrogant posturing of the Patriot fans. Weren’t the Giants supposed to lose to the cowboys and the Packers? Of course it followed that they had to beat the Patriots too. But if I was Tom Brady, I’d be pushing to get rid of those linebackers that allowed so many hits on him!

  25. Shalee

    Oh, I think it’s poetic justice that Brady was still beat by Manning. I’d have preferred it to be Peyton, but Eli Manning works just as well.

    But at least the eating was good at your house…

  26. balconygal

    Must have chicken crack recipe, please. We have crack dishes in this house too and one more -for my two large headed children whom I birthed and large headed hubby who eats a lot- would be fantastic. I’d like to say I was shocked at the outcome of the game and I probably should say that, being from Massachusetts, but it left me numb. Perhaps chicken crack would take away that numb feeling…

  27. Wendy

    Just to add to your misery, it was a Southern boy that kicked butt. We watched, meaning I have no idea what I was looking at, the last few minutes of the game, because we were enjoying New Orleans’ favorite past time, a parade. However, the cheers could be heard a mile away when Eli Manning did what is in his blood to do.

  28. Libby

    Me want Chicken Crack recipe. Please.

    The end.

  29. Jenny

    I can has Chicken Crack?

    I still marvel at how quickly Wilbur and I can put things to rights after a party. Of course, our lovely friends usually try to stay and help no matter how vociferously we insist that NO, they are the GUESTS, and that is a great help. But it’s still kind of weird. I guess we’re all grown up and stuff.

  30. elise sein

    I rooted for Tom Brady in his first superbowl win because the Pats were the underdogs. He’s also from San Mateo County, CA. I’m a 49’er fan.
    Last night I predicted Brady wouldn’t win because it’s not a good to dump a pregnant woman who is the mother of his child and then showcase a supermodel as his girlfriend plus offer to marry her . Brady will feel the pain of rejection.
    The Universe gives a payback so he’s not Mr. Perfect after all.

  31. D

    Um, can everyone remember that Briget and Brady broke up before she knew she was pregnant? She announced, he agreed to support the kid. She didn’t want marriage – what’s he to do? That being said, any sports person who gives money BACK to the GM and says “here’s money to hire good people for this team” is a winner in my book. I’m a Giants fan from way back [growing up in Jersey you gotta be, right?] and I was hoping NY would win, but not expecting it. I’m still surprised – pleased, but surprised. Now the Giants will be a trivia question – what team kept the Pats from a perfect season?

  32. Erin

    Second and third-ing everyone else’s request for the chicken crack recipe. Pretty please?

  33. mamalang

    I’m sorry for your loss. Wow that was hard…I’m with Sara in the Colt’s love. And if it couldn’t be My Manning, at least it was a Manning.

    ummy food…I just got done with Dinner and I’m still drooling.

  34. Karen

    My pleasure, friend! Glad it worked out for y’all. (Do y’all say y’all in Atlanta?)

  35. The Over-Thinker

    Chicken Crack and Dishwasher-Loading Compliments will trump the Super Bowl every time.

  36. the elder

    being Aussie, I just don’t understand the joy of watching heavily-padded buffoons running at each other whilst playing piggy in the middle. try watching guys with no padding crash-tackling each other at full tilt. now that’s sport!!

    mind you, just cause i’m aussie, doesn’t mean i like cricket.

    and i don’t have a dishwasher… so hnyerr!!

    now i must wander off to feed my pet kangaroo.

  37. Lady M

    So sorry about your Patriots’ loss. Our household is for the Chargers, so we didn’t much care about the results of the game. I would have brought you chocolate dipped orange slices as a consolation though.

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