New girl seeks right crowd

By Mir
November 15, 2007
Category Friends

The thing that has been hardest for me about moving is making new friends. And part of me feels ridiculous, saying that, because I don’t really have trouble getting along with people. (You, in the back—shut it.) I’m not particularly shy. I’ll talk to anyone, and despite frequently ramping the dork factor all the way up to 11, FOR THE MOST PART I’m able to enter a social situation and interact in a socially acceptable manner with others.

The problem comes in establishing friendships which go beyond “Hey, how ya doing?” or “I think my kid just kicked your kid in the nuts. I’m really sorry.” (Yes, I’ve actually had to say that already. I considered letting the ground swallow me up, instead, but THE GROUND WASN’T COOPERATING.) These things take time, which I know, but—and I don’t know if you’ve noticed this or not, because I’m so good at hiding it—I am not a patient person. And I’ve been here for six months already and I really, really miss having MY GIRLS.

My fellow estrogen-types will understand the concept of GIRLS, I think. GIRLS are the ones you can call up and share good news with or cry all over. They’re the ones you can go to and say, “OH MY GOD MY HUSBAND IS DRIVING ME BATSHIT” and they’ll understand you’re just venting and everything is fine. (Not that I ever need to do that. Nope. Love you, honey!) My GIRLS demand I go shopping with them to help them pick out just the right outfit, and they’ve been known to forcibly pry me from my desk to go out for coffee when I’m working too hard. In short, my GIRLS get me.

I’ve made a couple of friends here who are fellow bloggers and whom I like very much, but for the first time in my life I think I’ve managed to befriend a couple of people who are busier than I am. (I almost typed “bustier,” which would’ve been so wrong, because nearly all my friends are bustier than I am!) We get together now and then, but schedules are hard to coordinate. And while they know the blog-me, we are in different life phases (Leandra’s kids are quite a bit younger than mine, Tammy is busy growing her first one) so the day-to-day stuff related to kids and school is not something we have in common.

The women I’ve met through the kids’ school are ones with whom I have much of the “life phase” stuff in common—for example, everyone I met through Monkey’s soccer team has a son the same age as mine—but I don’t feel like many (any?) of them have anything in common with me career-wise. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but the truth is that I tend to be somewhat vague when questioned because the only thing I can imagine that is more awkward and painful than trying to get a group of females to LIKE ME, PLEASE PLEASE JUST LIKE ME at this age is trying to get the same group to like me when they barely know me but have access to this blog. So.

“Oh, where do you work?” they asked, when I first arrived on the scene.

“I work from home,” I replied, a little wary. “I’m a freelancer.”

“What do you do?” they’d press.

I’d take a deep breath. “I’m a writer,” I’d admit. And then… the inevitable. What do you write, have I ever read you, etc. Right about the point where I admit I’m primarily a corporate blogger, their eyes would glaze over.

Fortunately, those tense moments were often interrupted by someone taking a soccer ball to the face. Thank goodness for poor aim and youthful enthusiasm!

Last week when I was having the server crisis, I showed up at a soccer practice probably looking exactly how I felt, which was like someone who hadn’t slept in several days and was ready to rip a strip off of the next person who looked at me sideways. Someone asked me what was wrong, and in my state of exhaustion and despondence, I TOLD HER.

I think it went something like this: “Wah wah wah catastrophic server failure wah wah wah all my sites gone wah wah wah my business, my work, AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIEEEEEEE!”

Perhaps it was my flailing arms to accompany this diatribe—I’m sure I’ll never know for sure—but this attracted the attention not only of the women sitting around, but many of the husbands who were in attendance as well. And so it happened that suddenly everyone was very interested to know what web sites it is that I run that I was so distraught over losing.

“Well, I, uh, run a shopping blog. A bargain thing.” And they asked for the address, so I gave it to them. “It’s called Want Not.” People nodded, asked questions. I think I saw someone writing it down. Okay, fine. By the time we had the next soccer game, my sites were back up, and a few folks told me they’d checked out Want Not. One woman even told me she was sending it out to friends and family, and I tried to act casual instead of INSANELY FLATTERED which is how I felt.

But the thing is, now that they have that address, it’s only a matter of time before they all find this site. So I’m feeling the press to HURRY UP AND MAKE THEM LIKE ME before they stumble across my little haven of dorkdom, here.

To that end, there was some discussion amongst the soccer moms about having an accomplished knitter in our midst teach everyone how to knit. I don’t know how to knit. I don’t want to know how to knit. If I had time to knit, I would spend it doing the fifty-gazillion other things I’m not getting done, or maybe just reading a good book, but NOT KNITTING. I have occasionally considered stabbing myself or others with a knitting needle, but that’s as far as it’s gone.

So naturally, I offered to host this meeting. “Come do it at my house! I’ll have snacks!” Hey, I am excellent at snacks. And I like these women, and DAMMIT, I NEED GIRLS. And I was honest—someone said, “Do you want to learn to knit?” and I said “Hell no. I want to drink wine and eat snacks and watch YOU knit.” And they seemed okay with that.

All of which means that tonight, some women are coming over to my house to knit. It is my sincere hope that I get all of my work done early today so that I have time to do things like clean up the living room and shower. And construct an elaborate device that can be invisibly wedged into my mouth to prevent the (further) insertion of my foot.

It’s all part of my nefarious plan. After they’ve sat around knitting together, the fact that I share my innermost thoughts with the entire internet won’t seem weird at all. Right? RIGHT?

I’m thinking I’d better go bake something with a lot of chocolate in it, just to hedge my bets.


  1. MomCat

    Maybe you will have some interesting yarns to spin…


    When you invent that device, my husband can help you get a patent. I will be first in line to buy it.

  2. StephLove

    Good luck at your soiree. I’d definitely go with the chocolate.

  3. tori

    Well, I would knit in front of you any time. Or whatever. I would totally be one of your “girls” and I think anyone in their right mind would be happy to also. Good luck! I wish I could come!

  4. Melisa

    Are you kidding? They’ll like you even more after reading WCS. Just try really hard not to stab anyone with the knitting needles tonight and you’ll be fine.

  5. Jean

    I would think that reading your blog here would only make them like you MORE. What’s not to like about clever writing and comedy and honest realism???

    I am one of those who appreciate the foibles others share with me…makes us all feel better about being human. I’m sure there are women there who feel the same. You will find them and they will be delighted when they find you.

  6. birchsprite

    Anything with chocolate in it would win me over!

  7. Flea

    Oh what fun for you! I know exactly what you mean about the GIRLS. I moved nearly a year ago, halfway across the country, and it takes FOREVER. Only in the last month have I begun to feel a change with the women I meet. On the plus side, I still email my best friend halfway across the country and cry on her shoulder/celebrate/bitch’n’moan, etc. It just takes forever to find the right chemistry. Our kids go to school every day and make friends. Husbands go to work and make … what do they make? Business acquaintances? And we work from home (grad school for me) and make ourselves insane.

    Have fun tonight. Have plenty of wine on hand. No one will remember if you insert foot in mouth – only that they had a great time. :)

  8. Jacqueline

    This was a good idea, Knitters are Good People, and generally friendly (why yes, I am rather obsessed with this knitting thing, could you tell?). Plus, I’m sure that once the cool ones read here, they’ll be wondering how they can get YOU to LIKE them (yes, despite reading right here that you are already set to like them – cool people can be a little self-deprecating (possibly I am projecting again?)). Anyways, good luck with the not knitting, as my sister says, “You knitting people are pushy,” (after two years she’s finally given in and is learning on Saturday).

  9. jp


    You’ll be an excellent Hostess for a Knitting Guild, Circle……..whatever. I just made a delicious Pumpkin Gooey Butter cake recipe, thats really easy to make and everyone raved about, let me know if you’d like it!

    As far as ‘Girls Who Get Yyou”…………I can totally relate. Sometimes you just need to feel ‘connected’.Or you need friends to tell you to get over it or to have a drink w/ or whatever…………. Don’t dispair, maybe after tonight you’ll pick up some closer friends? Could happen, you manage to make friends pretty quickly thru your Blog!

    Good luck

  10. Megan

    Can’t knit. Would maybe like to because there was a yarn shop where I used to live that was like a fuzzy, textury candy shop. Well, honestly I still didn’t really want to – I wanted to roll around in all the yummy soft yarn. BUT point is I know knitters and why do they knit? Because it keeps the hands busy but leaves the mouth totally, totally free! It’s all about the talking, and with talking everyone knows wine is a very, very good idea.

    And chocolate. Dark preferably, and extremely rich….

  11. jp


    You’ll be an excellent Hostess for a Knitting Guild,Club, Circle……..whatever. I just made a delicious Pumpkin Gooey Butter cake recipe, thats really easy to make and everyone raved about, let me know if you’d like it!

    As far as ‘Girls Who Get You”…………I can totally relate. Sometimes you just need to feel ‘connected’.Or you need friends to tell you to get over it or to have a drink w/ or whatever…………. Don’t dispair, maybe after tonight you’ll pick up some closer friends? Could happen, you manage to make friends pretty quickly thru your Blog!

    Good luck

  12. Leandra

    BTW, definitely NOT bustier. It’s all in the bra, my friend. ;)

    And I’m with Jean. I think if they read your blog it would only make them like you MORE. I had only been reading for a very little while when I find out you were moving here and went all geek girl and was like “oh my god, she and I have so much in common wouldn’t it be great to meet her!” (Yes, I have run-on sentences in my head).

    So, drink some wine, watch some people knit and maybe one of these ladies will be your girl. Well, that sounds weirder than I meant it to, but you know what I mean. And I would totally be your girl, (cause you’re a nice person and see: we have so much in common above) but my kids have launched a conspiracy to never let me have a moment’s free time!

  13. Crisanne

    Yes chocolate sounds like a good plan.

    As far as the GIRLS bit, I totally understand. I sometimes wonder if it will ever happen here in VA. We’ve been here a year and a half and I’m still trying to get past the “My kid does that too!” phase. We’ve got two and a half more years here…I may lose my sanity if I don’t find friends sometime while we’re here.

  14. Ladybug Crossing

    Oh, silly Mir… They do like you! I’m sure of it. You just need to find the “right” friends. Don’t go with the first one… she might turn out to be a NUT!!! Trust me! I know this from first hand experience…

    Sit, watch, see who eats and drinks what, and then decide whom to befriend.

  15. Amy-Go

    Now THAT’S what I’m talking about!

  16. Sara

    Okay, I don’t want to learn to knit either, but the idea of drinking wine, eating snacks, gabbing, and watching others knit is appealing to me. In fact, it makes me want to call MY girls for a much-needed-long-time-coming night out. Should the fact that I have to go to my 3rd grader’s music performance tonight get in my way? Yeah, I guess the teachers might frown upon me bringing my girls AND wine to the concert. (Stupid social mores….)
    Anyway, while I am listening to “Songs and Games from Around the World”, I will lift a silent prayer that the evening is a success and that you can mark this night as the night you found YOUR GIRLS.

  17. All Adither

    Have you ever head of Italian Cream Cake? Make that and they’ll be yours forever.

  18. Marsha

    LMAO!!! I have been in my new town for 15 years and it took me 10 years to find a “best friend”. I don’t play well with others though, so that is probably the reason! good luck on your “not knitting” party!

  19. Dawn

    It’ll be OK, and I think you’re definitely on the right track. Finding your girls is HARD, but you’ll get there.

  20. hollygee

    That sounds like such fun! and I saw a notice for a Stitch & Bitch on our little post office bulletin board. I need it for exactly the same reasons as you.

  21. Jessica @ A Bushel and a Peck

    I really understand your need for GIRLS. I have been living in a new “home” for almost 2 years and I have friends, but not the kind you can call at 2 AM if something happened. Well, I have one of those, but I imported her from a previous home. SO. Yes, GIRLS are key to happiness. I hope you find some tonight.

  22. Lilymane

    Mir –
    You are a genius! Having a group of potential GIRLS over to knit is a fabulous idea b/c knitting takes the pressure off of the socializing. Women talk much more easily and openly when they aren’t just sitting and staring at each other. Maybe it has to do with the colors and texture of yarn or the fact that they’re creating something right then and there – but discussions around a knitting circle are great (even if you aren’t knitting.) You will have fun and they will love you. In fact, I bet your next post is about how you now have too many new friends and don’t have enough time to keep up with everyone! Peace.

  23. tammy

    Wow! My bazooms are being discussed on the internets! I feel like Lindsay Lohan! Only without, you know, the coke habit.

  24. Lori

    Wine, chocolate & knitting & you won’t be able to get them out of your house. And if you send me your address, I’d fly down to crash your party…ok, that was a little stalkerish. Strike that. Just know I’m jealous & think you’ve found the opening you’re looking for. The best part – if you decide that these ladies aren’t good candidates for GIRL!-type friendships, you have an out – you don’t have to go to their next “knitting” thing.

    Have fun tonight.

  25. Denise

    I think this was a good suggestion. I do not knit either but I attend the weekly stitch n bitch and am the biggest fan of the women who just opened their own yarn shop.

    Really excellent to be a knitting supporter – they’ll love you for it and it’s sort of fascinating to watch a group of women knit and listen to them talk while they knit. Seriously.

    Have fun with it, I definitely do.

  26. Lucinda

    I agree that them reading your blog can only help. But I think it would be scary knowing the people around you have read you. It’s much different when it’s people like me who will never actually meet you (opposite coasts and all).

    But in this case, reading your blog can bridge the gap to understand why you blog. I don’t think I would get it either if someone told me about it. But reading it, I am able to see the journey you have made and have that “ah ha” moment. Good luck with knitting. I’m with you. I’d rather drink.

  27. Aimee

    I know what you mean — it’s hard to meet new GIRLS in a new city. Chocolate helps, though. Knitting, I’m not so sure about. ;)

  28. Jenni

    I know what you mean. You think it is hard to explain the concept of being a corporate blogger, try telling people your a software designer. Yeah, that wins them over…at least until they can run away and hide. And it’s weird with the “Moms” anyways because I’m a step-mom.

  29. Contrary

    I am also sadly without girls.

    I would host the 35th annual crack dealers convention in my home if only some other girls would come play with me.

  30. elizabeth

    I think the non-knitting party is a great idea!
    my “in” to a good group was kinda freaky ’cause after almost 20 yrs here in GA I found a girl I knew in high school (outside Syracuse NY) only a few miles away. we play bunko, mostly talking and drinking with some rolling dice.
    so, hey, if knitting parties don’t work out you can totally join this group of bunko broads.

  31. el-e-e

    Scarves for everyone on your Christmas list sounds like a bargain. Set your new friends to WORK. ;)

    hee hee. Or, you know, just be yourself and they’ll love you. Whatever you think.

  32. saucygrrl

    I can so relate to the GIRLS thing. Painfully so. If it weren’t for the fact that you, A.) don’t know who I am or B.) that you live many states away I would totally want to hook up and talk Web 2.0 over coffee with you. Maybe even coffee with a little *ahem* Kaluha. And then we would laugh big hearty laughs about people who don’t know what blogging is. And then we would sigh and then maybe talk about shoes. And then maybe about how even though we have best husbands in the universe they drive us up the damn wall when they XYZ, and even though we’ll never leave them because they’re so close to perfect, but XYZ makes us want to shoot MFing laserbeams at them with our eyes. Alas.

    Hmmm, would the above be considered fan fiction? And does that make it totally wierd?

  33. Karen

    This may sound like an odd suggestion, but you are clearly the type of person who understands the technology of the internet…How about checking out something like or another social networking site. They have local groups for things like working moms (and maybe even mom’s of children with sensory issue). Might be worth a shot. You don’t have anything to lose. Good luck with the knitters.

  34. heels

    I’ve never had friends like that. I’m so jealous.

  35. Paula

    So here’s my take on the situation: you are smarter than the average bear. More sensitive and creative (albeit not with respect to needlework). And a whole lot cooler than most. Because of this, it’s going to be harder work for you to find people to connect with.

    Sigh. Like Spiderman, you are both blessed and cursed.

    If anything, don’t be embarrassed about locals reading your blog! I think your blog is a litmus test — if someone gets it, they’ll get you.

  36. Lady M

    >>Hell no. I want to drink wine and eat snacks and watch YOU knit.

    Excellent thinking. There are plenty of activities that I’m happy to host and watch but don’t want to do. LAN parties (all night video games, back in the pre-baby days) for my husband were one of those.

  37. Kelly

    Good luck with the non-knitting :) Make a hot fudge sundae cake- always a good hit and dang it makes me hungry just thinking about it :) Alas I’ve been without GIRLS for a long long time.. I still chat with my best friend from high school but she’s at a different life stage than me as well so our things in common just aren’t quite there. Add the fact that I’m a SAHM not really active in any groups, I dont have alot of opportunities to make friends except at baseball/softball games and HELLO they’ve all been a ‘click’ for years now so I’m still an outsider.. Ok I’d like to submit the previous sentence for run-on sentence of the year :)
    Good luck!

  38. Jenny

    I’m sorry — someone said, “Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cake.”

    I don’t think I’ve ever had GIRLS. I admitted this to someone, once, who basically inferred that I must be a cold, heartless bitch who can’t “let people in” and then proceeded to tell me that. I prefer to think of it as, HELLO, I’M SHY, and thank you but telling me I must be a cold, heartless bitch is not the way to GET in, as it were.

  39. Sheila

    Just watch the flailing arms around the knitters and you’ll be fine. All of us virtual friends will jealously await word on your new actual friends. Good luck!

  40. ImpostorMom

    Good luck hosting the knitting party. I could totally see myself doing something like that. My mom knits but I also have no desire to learn. Seems like it would be way more fun to observe and drink rather than actually knit. I’m with everyone else on reading this blog making you more likable. Who wouldn’t like witty, funny writing?

  41. Heather

    You’re a fabulous and engaging writer, so I really don’t think you have anything to worry about if/when they find this site. Now, good luck with tonight, I am sure you’ll be just fine! chocolate is a good starting point, if nothing else ;)

  42. Kendra

    Can I come? I’ll even bring extra wine, no knitting, just a foot-sized mouth!

  43. Not The Mama

    I can so totally relate to this. I’ve been in Atlanta for 11 months now, and I’ve met some really nice people and made a couple of “friends”, but I still don’t have any REAL friends. Any “Girls”, as you say. The waiting and being patient, it sucks. I’m trying to make a more concerted effort to talk to people, even if I feel like a giant dork. Good for you for volunteering to host the knitting group. Even though you don’t want to knit, it will be a great chance for you to get to know some people better. And it’s actually nice for the knitting teacher to have someone NOT knitting to worry about hostess things. A few acquaintances recently asked me to teaching a crafting/knitting class, which seems like a great way for me to get to know them better, and I know I’d love to have someone else host and worry about food and drinks and such.

  44. a different kate

    I think that elaborate device you’re looking for to keep your foot out of your mouth is one or two (or the bottle) glasses of wine. Good luck and I hope you find some keepers in the newly minted knitting (and drinking) group that comes over!

  45. jess

    I really get what you’re saying here. I moved here a little over a year ago and, while people can be nice and seem friendly, it never goes beyond acquaintance. I’ve NEVER had this much trouble making friends when moving, so I don’t know if it’s in relation to being newly married (it’s harder to find time for both people or they want single friends?) or if it’s the culture in this area (pretty reticent, in general). It’s so weird to me, since I usually make friends easily and am pretty darned outgoing. Hmmmm…

  46. jp

    Pumkin Gooey Butter Cake
    Thx to Paul Deen

    ABSOLUTELY Delicious!!!

    1 (18 1/4-ounce) package yellow cake mix
    1 egg
    8 tablespoons butter, melted
    1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
    1 (15-ounce) can pumpkin
    3 eggs
    1 teaspoon vanilla
    8 tablespoons butter, melted
    1 (16-ounce) box powdered sugar
    1 teaspoon cinnamon
    1 teaspoon nutmeg

    Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
    Combine the cake mix, egg, and butter and mix well with an electric mixer. Pat the mixture into the bottom of a lightly greased 13 by 9-inch baking pan.

    To make the filling: In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese and pumpkin until smooth. Add the eggs, vanilla, and butter, and beat together. Next, add the powdered sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and mix well. Spread pumpkin mixture over cake batter and bake for 40 to 50 minutes. Make sure not to overbake as the center should be a little gooey.

    Serve with fresh whipped cream.

    Variations: For a Pineapple Gooey Cake: Instead of the pumpkin, add a drained 20-ounce can of crushed pineapple to the cream cheese filling. Proceed as directed above.

    For a Banana Gooey Cake: Prepare cream cheese filling as directed, beating in 2 ripe bananas instead of the pumpkin. Proceed as directed above.

    For a Peanut Butter Gooey Cake: Use a chocolate cake mix. Add 1 cup creamy peanut butter to the cream cheese filling instead of the pumpkin. Proceed as directed above.

  47. Angela

    Ok the thought of you “hosting” a knitting guild or circle does make me laugh…the host hates knitting! But I completely understand having it at your place because then you’re contributing even though you’re not participating. I’d do that if I didn’t want to learn. But I’d probably not have had the balls to outright say I hated whatever it was if I knew I could tolerate it if it meant friends.

  48. Kate C.

    I doubt you have written much of anything about anyone you couldn’t handle them reading- about them, their town, or yourself. If you *have* written deliberately mean things that are just mean, you have bigger friend making problems than this blog can ever pose. But you are pretty! And nice! So what are you worried about?

    Which means, really, you’re not the first person in the world who writes about their life and everyone knows about it, many know about it BEFORE they actually know the writer.

    Every home and family type newspaer columnist, whatserface who wrote the actual real Sex and the City columns, any memoir author, all of them.

    I have never met Calvin Trillin, but have read many things he has written about his life and family. He is supremely geeky, and I would like, nay LOVE to have him as my neighbor BECAUSE he is such a marvelous and wonderful geek.

    The big difference between you and your Other Media Life Diarists, as far as I can tell, is that they are Conventionally Famous (or not famous, I suppose). And you are kind of Alternativley Famous.

    Normal people are by and large tremendous geeks, in their own way (someone you know is a medieval or civil war reenactor… can you out-dork that? And some of those dads spent their youths and probably some of their adulthoods in basements rolling dice and moving painted miniatures around playing D&D. Can you out-dork THAT? Thought not.).

  49. ChristieNY

    Have fun sweetie! I agree, if they “get” the blog, they’ll get you – you’re awesome.

    I can’t wait to hear how it goes! :)

  50. LuAnn

    Thanks for making me laugh, Mir. The closest things I have to GIRLS around here sucker punched me (figuratively speaking) last night and I so needed this smile!

  51. Jessica

    I’ve actually gotten to the point where I’m almost relieved whe I find out someone reads my blog. There’s so much less explaining to do! I can get right to the whining without having to give any background story.

    And honestly? If someone reads your blog and doesn’t instantly love you then they really don’t deserve to become your friend!

  52. Patti

    Chocolate? I would even knit for chocolate! or try to, just have lots of band-aids on hand (not good with sharp pointy things).

    I’m just getting my GIRLS thing going, FINALLY, after living here … nearly 7 long years. Oh, it takes awhile, but once you’re in, you’re in for life. I still got my posse back where I grew up, but it’s not the same as having friends that actually drop in, without calling first, and you’re thrilled to see them and who cares if you’re in the middle of cooking dinner, set another plate.

    At least the ones who don’t mind if you don’t knit, they’ve got to be cool.

  53. Burgh Baby's Mom

    You really need to keep a little something in mind during times like this. First of all, if someone reads your blog and doesn’t like you because of it, they aren’t Girls Who Gets You worthy. Secondly, if you insert your foot in your mouth and someone doesn’t like you because of it, they are not Girl Who Gets You material. Thirdly, if you act like a giant dork and someone doesn’t like you because of it, they are not worthy of the Girls Who Get You title.

    Do you see where I’m going with this?

    For the love of Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cake, just be yourself and the rest will follow. We all like you, why wouldn’t everybody else?

  54. Traci

    I am so feeling your pain right now. I moved almost five months ago to the semi-south (what is Texas considered really?). It’s a land full of things that are new and amazing to me everyday. Making it all the more difficult is the lack of “Girls.” I still talk to my Girls in California and they keep promising that I will find Girls here. They also say I’m not nearly as nerdy as I think I am. Maybe I should find some people who want to knit and make snacks for them too…I enjoy wine and snacks and feeding people, but knitting not so much. If you feed them, they will come???

  55. Jen

    I love wine, AND can knit. I’d like to be your friend! Can I come?!?!

  56. Tracey

    At least you are a successful blogger/writer. The fact that I spend time reading blogs (and writing a really bad one) is something that none of the other GIRLS I know round here understand. And, hell, I’d go to a knitting thing – the only thing I get invited to are those ‘party plan’ gigs where you feel obliged to buy jewellery or lingerie or smelly stuff – none of which I want to feel obliged to buy.

  57. The Other Jamie

    I LOVE the idea of eating and drinking while everyone else knits! :) We relocated to Arizona from Texas almost 8 months ago and we’re about to move into our new house on December 7. I can’t wait because then I’ll be on the hunt for local “GIRLS” to be friends with, too! Moving is tough. I didn’t want to make a lot of friends where we live now because we’re moving 35 minutes away and I have enough long distance friends (plus, it’s Arizona, where you have no front lawn, so NO ONE is ever out in front of their houses to meet them!). I come from a great cul-de-sac in the Dallas area; this neighborhood isn’t quite as friendly.

    Have fun tonight, Mir!

  58. Heidi

    Heh, Tammy said bazooms! And funnily enough, mine are called The Girls, too,

  59. Veronica

    I love that you are going to watch them knit and not actually knit!

    I think chocolate is a good plan, who can go wrong with chocolate and alcohol?

  60. kidzmama

    I’m trying to picture Otto’s face when these potential knitting friends come over.

    I’ve been here for almost six years and can’t find the right friends either. I’m sure it’s me being way too picky.

    Good luck with that “darn” crowd!

  61. Kristen

    Mir, I love that you feel like you needed to clean the shower for your guests. Now I know that when you come to my house, you’ll be checking out the cleanliness of my shower.

    You didn’t get all stinking drunk and end up playing beer pong tonight, did you?

  62. Flea

    Wait wait wait. You all sat around the new dining room table, didn’t you? See, there were ulterior motives after all. :) And what the heck is beer pong? Is that something I should google?

  63. Another Dawn

    Well, it doesn’t seem weird to us…

    And what Burgh Baby’s Mom said.

  64. loulou

    You’re a funny girl! Knitting has practically ruined my life, or at least stolen my closet space (see my closetful of mom-made sweaters that my kids never wore and have lon since outgrown, but which can’t be dumped at Goodwill because of the Guilt Factor) — but still I’d come to your soiree in a freakin heartbeat, just to soak up the humor and get drunk with you.

  65. Katie

    If you are dropping web site addresses, try this one with the knitters: Just saying!

    Also? I suck at making friends. It doesn’t help that we live in a high move in/move out area so as soon as I latch on to someone with potential, they move. Good luck!

  66. Almost American

    Hah – so many of us who still have issues making friends! I used to think it was a gawky teenager thing and that I’d grow up, become more self-confident, and grow out of it. I joined a ‘new mommies’ group after Dear Daughter was born, and hated it. It felt as though I was a teenager again, trying to figure out who would like me, which group I would fit in with . . . I kept going though. Don’t know why as it was pretty painful, but I did at least make one good long-term friend so I guess it was worth it.

    So how did the party go?

  67. Sports Mum

    I came up with a novel solution to not finding “the girls” after living here for three years! I found “the boys” instead! I have a bunch of male friends (we’re all happilly married) that talk politics, community, wine! The best part…no knitting!

  68. Kristen

    I’ve been a terrible neighbor and I too have met a couple of lovely bloggers. I use their work schedule (they work full time, I pretend to work part time…) as my excuse as well as the fact that I thought I was moving then didn’t bla bla.

    It is hard — and I think with littler ones, your kids’ ages have a lot to do with it. Which kinda sucks.

  69. Izzy

    Oh Mir, I feel your pain. I’m in a similar situation except? I’ve lived here for 20 years. All my girls have up and moved away, married possessive jerks who don’t let them have lives or found Jesus and one, sadly, was on Discovery Health a couple years ago on a show about rehab and drug addiction and she wasn’t a doctor, if you know what I mean. So, I continue to try and find a few like-minded women in an ocean of not-like-minded women. Wish me luck & send me pointers! I hope your knitting party is a raving success and you make lots of awesome new girlfriends :)

  70. carson

    You live just close enough to make me want to drive over and ask you if you want to come out to play, and just far enough away for it to cross the line from “friendly” to “creepy.” (Maybe it’s quite a bit farther than the line.) I completely understand.

  71. Beth B.

    Great to find other moms with shared hobbies. With all this online networking stuff, there is nothing to take the place of live friendships. But I do have to say, that when I do meet my blogger friends live – they are my most favorite-eccentric people. In California – you need to be a fast walker to socialize because everyone always says to me – instead of coffee, lets go for a power walk… And if you are a slow walker – the friendship is a bust. Crazy place I live, I think I need to try knitting:-)

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