Happy halfiversary! I’m sorry I spent most of it on the couch and/or unconscious. I guess the stress of the last week finally triumphed, and the germs just had to have their way with me this weekend. It seems like YOU having your way with me might’ve been a more fitting way to celebrate this milestone, but the germs will go away and you won’t, so there’s that.
(I have already sent your brothers running for the bleach, to cleanse their eyeballs. Sorry, guys.)
This weekend was momentous for two reasons: First, it marked six months since we got married (AND! it goes without SAYING that we STILL LIKE EACH OTHER!), and second, we are just one week from the end of The Year of Living Changerously (if, indeed, we keep it to just a year, which I might not, because I am a rebel that way).
Yesterday I managed to miss my exit on the highway WHILE I was using the GPS—which is sadly, not at all out of character—and still, you love me. Screw the Christmas miracle of the baby Jesus; THIS RIGHT HERE is proof that God works in mysterious ways.
I’m still trying to figure out what you got out of this deal. Me, everything in my life is infinitely improved. I hardly ever have to do the dishes or the make the bed anymore. If I look pitiful enough you’ll help with whatever task I’m currently screwing up. I finally have someone in the house who likes my cooking, and who can make dinnertime not just a place for inappropriate potty humor and whining. My feet are never cold at night, and you hardly even complain anymore when I chase you over to the edge of the bed with my icy toes. Sometimes you tell the kids to stop hassling me and they look at you all, “Dude, does not compute!” and you point out how obnoxious they’re being and it seems like they might actually be recognizing that there’s some truth to what you say. (It doesn’t change their behavior, much, but it’s a start.)
Here’s what you got out of this: You’re in a bigger house, but you have four times as many people in it. Half of those inhabitants may or may not be feral, and they are definitely loud and unpredictable. The alarm goes off a lot earlier than it used to, and sometimes someone flings open the bedroom door and hops into bed to announce I’M AWAKE NOW even before the alarm goes. You are tasked with being a chauffeur, referee, short-order cook, and Fixer Of All Things Broken. In the meantime, some days you are the hero and some days you are the villain, depending on various warring factors completely outside of your control.
And through it all, you are the proverbial rock. You are steady. You’re cheerful, even. The kids light up when you get home and you return their delight with your own. You ask me “can I get you anything?” several times an evening, and no matter how much I bust on you for sounding like a waiter you don’t stop doing it, because if I want a glass of water or a cup of tea you would happily go get it for me no matter how grumpy or stressed out or annoying I’ve been.
You take every bit of what we three dish out and you are thankful. This probably means you need intensive therapy, but it’s working in my favor so let’s overlook that. Hey, look over there! Something shiny!
My favorite time of the day is right after you turn off your lamp. You work on getting your pillow at just the right angle while I fling myself as close to you as possible in the interest of continuing your snuggle-aversion desensitization therapy. We talk about our days, and sometimes we end up having Very Deep Discussions but usually we just end up falling asleep after some brief chatting about nothing or just cracking up over some inanity from the day.
“So, whaddaya think of the last six months?” I asked you in the dark on Sunday, somewhat fearing your response.
“Don’t take this the wrong way…” you started out, and I bit my lip, “but I really expected the entire first year to just be a wash. I mean, I’m a big picture guy. And we knew this was gonna be hard. So my expectations were… low. So you know, it’s been great! Much better than I expected.”
It was hard to know how to react to that, because on the one hand (not taking it the wrong way, no no, but really, I have to take it SOME way) you expected to be miserable all year? That’s not good. But on the other hand, you’re happy. Despite the crap. Thank goodness for low expectations! It’s about time that a bit of pessimism worked in my favor!
And because I love you so much, I kissed you and told you how grateful I am to have you in my life, and then I put my icy cold feet on your calves and you let me.
This true love stuff is pretty awesome. Can I get you anything? Because I totally would. Just name it. I’ll even go put on a pair of socks first.