Useful for life, useless for blogging

So guess what I did this morning! Go on, GUESS!

I put on a sweater. Because I was COLD. Which is sort of newsworthy in and of itself, I suppose (it’s official: my blood has thinned), but that’s not what I wanted to tell you.

No, actually what I was referring to was the fact that today we had the long-awaited 504 meeting to “get things straightened out.”

I drove over to the school this morning with trepidation, bracing myself (and here I reveal my overwhelming geekiness, fair warning) with the rather soothing thought that even if the meeting didn’t go well, it would surely yield so much blog-worthy goodness that it would prove useful, either way. This steadied my nerves and I headed in ready to do battle.

The good news is that the meeting went really well.

The bad news is that the meeting went really well.

Look; given a choice, I would MUCH RATHER have events pertinent to my children’s well-being turn out flawlessly and be left with nothing interesting to write about than deal with the content-rich but extremely stressful alternative. I am NOT complaining. Good meeting = good.

But, uh, I was sort of counting on hilarity to ensue so that I’d have something interesting to say this morning.

And the teacher only called Monkey by the wrong name once, so I don’t even have THAT. Damn school! Damn teacher making an effort to call him the right name! Damn administrators apologizing for the problems thus far and agreeing we need to fix things! DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL!


Anyhoo, only time will tell if everything is truly revamped in a way that will prevent problems, but I’m hopeful.

In the meantime, I’m lining up our ducks in a row (I just love that mental image, as if giving in to my OCD tendencies and getting a big box of rubber ducks lined up JUST SO could solve all of my problems, somehow) to get Monkey’s anxiety issues better handled, here. And sometimes, you know, I think it’s working. We’re trying a new med and I gave it to him yesterday afternoon and he was just CALM and SWEET AS PIE for hours on end.

Then, of course, I left the kids with a sitter last night, joking about how all she had to do to earn her money was watch television, as I left the house only 15 minutes before bedtime. Well, apparently during those 15 minutes, Chickadee thought it would be funny to “tap” the book that Monkey was reading so that it “just lightly bonked” him, and of course her “tap” apparently ended up smashing the book into his nose (he even has a paper cut across the bridge, this morning), at which point Mr. Serene turned back into The Hulk.

It was a very brave 12-year-old I returned home to, who hung her head and recounted Monkey chasing Chickadee all over the house and finally brutally clubbing her with a pillow while screaming that he was going to hit her a million times. She TRIED to stop him, she told me, but he was REALLY ANGRY and also VERY FAST. I reassured her that she did everything right and that this is just something that happens with him, sometimes. (Particularly after being baited by his sister, I did not add.)

And yes, the medication we’re using would’ve worn off by then, but I also know that if you were to hand Monkey a rabbit turd and tell him that this is a magical pill that will enable him to fly, you will find him poised on the deck railing in an hour, declaring that he’s QUITE SURE he can feel his wing buds sprouting. So whether or not the meds work, and whether or not there’s a rebound effect we need to be watching out for, too, remains to be seen. But he had his medication after breakfast today and his teacher reported that he was having a “particularly good morning,” so even IF we’re looking at a placebo effect, here, I say I’LL TAKE IT.

All things considered, when I compare and contrast a meeting that goes well with an evening that, well, DOESN’T, I find myself grateful for those less bloggable moments. Especially when it comes to the kids.


  1. Leandra

    If lining up rubber ducks would solve all my problems, I’d go buy myself a big old box full right this very moment! Do you think the more ducks you lined up, the more problems solved? Does it work that way?

  2. All Adither

    The bloggability factor. Always something to consider.

    I’m glad your meeting went well.

  3. RuthWells

    Here’s to fewer bloggable moments, then! Glad things are looking up.

  4. liz

    Don’t let Chickadee read this. One day she just might give Monkey a rabbit turd. Now that? _That_ would be blog-worthy.

  5. Megan

    Phew. Good news on all fronts (well, minus the bonked nose/pillow mayhem bit, but hey, that’s how you know you’re still in Kansas, Dorothy!). If the meds stop working why not give Monkey Very Special and Effective jellybeans? Cheap placebo AND a small sugar rush. Gotta be good.

  6. amy

    If it is the medication that I am thinking it might be, it really does work. It is not a placebo at all. I call it the miracle drug. It also does have a rebound, and if you can survive the rebound, I have to say it is a fantastic chemical. Good luck with everything!

  7. LuAnn

    Glad to hear the school meeting went well.

  8. Rachel May

    How is it that you, pretty Mir, can consider yourself as having nothing to say, but make me laugh out loud while reading your nothing? I’m sure it’s pure, unadaulterated talent, combined with years of training and self-sacrifice.

  9. Brigitte

    Oh, don’t worry (or WORRY! VERY MUCH!), I’m sure there will be something blogworthy soon!

    By the way, a belated “I’m with you” on the insurance/MRI hassle. Heck, I just had to finish wrassling our company for 3 months to get them to pay a simple, basic, 100% covered (supposedly) pap smear. I still have sparks flying out of my ears, grrr.

  10. lotus07

    Kudos for putting on the sweater…..that is what you are supposed to do when it gets cold.

  11. elena

    I’m so jealous. my last teacher/parent meeting involved both A.) his math teacher offering me an Ativan in a (VAIN) attempt to get me to calm down, B.) me biting my finger hard enough to make it easy for even the most inexperienced and clumsy CSI to get a dental impression (in a vain attempt to stop myself from sobbing as biting the insides of my cheeks wasn’t working), AND C.) me dry-heaving into the trash can in the meeting room because I was sobbing so hard.
    actually I think the worst part was a couple days later when my son asked me why I was crying so hard when I came out of the counselor’s office…and I had no idea what the hell to tell him. Life! Now with extra bacon! And chocolate! In fact, all bacon is now chocolate flavored for your additional enjoyment.

  12. Heather

    I like the ducks image, and I’m very glad the 504 meeting went well!

  13. ChristieNY

    Heh, rabbit turd placebo effect visual = totally blog-worthy!

    I thought of you this morning as I shuffled down the clearance aisle of tarjay and picked up the only item marked full price. We do share great taste, don’t we? ;)

    Glad to hear the meeting went well, I’ll take light blogging to the heavy stuff any day – woohoo!

  14. kidzmama

    Mir, your life is always bloggable.

    So glad the meeting went better than anticipated. And without any snacks? How can that be?

  15. Vane

    So glad your meeting went well, I really do hope things work out for the better for both you and your Monkey.

    I just got back from a luncheon with moms from my daughter’s class, where I proposed to have a meeting with one of the teachers, a very nice but very inexperienced teacher who is loosing control of the kids (which resulted in my kid telling me she wants to change rooms because she can’t take this environment any longer). I hope our meeting goes as well as yours.

  16. arduous

    I’m so glad the meeting went well. I hope school ends up going better for Monkey from now on.

  17. alala

    I like the ducks-in-a-row image too, except I always imagine myself trying to line up real ducks, and they keep wandering off, waddling hopefully after my crumb-dropping offspring, or being scared by the cat, or tripped over by my husband, who walks around so deep in thought that he doesn’t notice his surroundings, and I can never get all the ducks lined up at the same time. It’s really an excellent metaphor for my life.

  18. Daisy

    Glad to hear the meeting went well! Here’s hoping the meds are right, too. If you have to club those ducks to get them to line up, do it.

  19. hollygee

    Re: the ducks. One rainy Seattle morning, I waited at the stop light while a number of preschool teachers herded their charges — who where each tied on to a long rope — across the street. I instantly thought of duck pull toys.

  20. Veronica

    I like the visual of ‘just tapped it, so it lightly bonked him’ Sounds like my brother and I as children.

  21. Aimee

    Honestly, I don’t think my blood pressure could handle another story about Mrs. Wrongname and the Candycorn. I’m *veryvery* (it is TOO a word) happy that things went well, and I hope that this is merely a harbinger of things to come and not just the school dreading The Wrath of Mighty Mir.

  22. Karen


    I am so glad the meeting went well. As you’ve probably figured out…I am a SP ED Administrator…and I want the school to do the right thing–and I believe that most of the staff try. Of course, there are exceptions to everything. In the end–everyone should be on the same page when it comes to helping Monkey be successful. I hope and pray that things continue to improve.

  23. Belinda

    I never understood the advantage of your ducks being “in a row,” but I’m so glad you’re getting things straightened out to your satisfaction!

  24. TC

    You’re lucky. My similar-type meeting this week TOTALLY SUCKED. But you’re right, also. I got two whole blog entries out of it, plus more to come.

    Also, what anxiety med for kids wears off that quickly? Enquiring pharmaceutical-geek minds want to know. Not that it’s any of my business. Except that, as part of my own school meeting this week the suggestion was made that I medicate my own child for anxiety–a suggestion I would have taken more seriously if the suggester (I know that’s not a word; I’m just a linguistic rebel) had ever MET MY CHILD. And I realized I don’t even know what kinds of meds they GIVE kids for anxiety. Hence the inappropriate question, in your comments of all places. Sorry ’bout that.

  25. jen

    Do…do we have the same son?

  26. Cele

    Brave 12 year old. Very nice to hear the school is getting their poop into a perverbial group.

  27. Ilona

    I think the ducks you line up are decoys, not bath-time rubber duckies, and you do that for the purposes of luring down flesh-and-blood ducks so you can shoot ’em. (And then take them home and eat them, which is really the point. I was once a country girl. I have nothing against hunting — for dinner.)

    Blasting something to smithereens probably has a certain therapeutic value. There has to be a viable alternative to the gun and the real-live dead ducks…

    How be you line the rubber duckies up and then beat them with a rolling pin? And laugh maniacally when they bounced around the room? And scare the living bejeebers out of your kids — who would then respond with shock and awe and be on totally best behaviour for at least 40 minutes, less Maniacal Mommy come after THEM with the rolling pin.

    Hey. It’s got potential…

  28. Ilona

    “LEST Maniacal Mommy”

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