Wow, I knew I was weird, but I had no idea that yesterday’s post would be so confusing to so many people. Sorry about that. I just tossed it up there as a little random thing (it was on my mind because we’d just done vocab quizzing before the kids left for school) and came back later to a nearly-unanimous chorus of “Huh??”s. Whoops!
[The point of The Puppy Test is that if the target word in your sentence can easily be replaced by any number of other—unrelated—words, that means it’s not a good sentence to show that you know what it means. We like puppies, so we use that as our test word, often, but all it means is that you should construct your sentence in such a way that ONLY the target word or one of its synonyms will make sense. That’s all. Sorry to have geeked out on y’all.]
Anyhoo, I’m off to eat pancakes and go to soccer and do whatever it is we’re gonna do today after THAT, but first! A story:
Yesterday Otto and I met for a late lunch, which was lovely because our “going out to breakfast once a week” routine came to an end shortly after this, in a related-but-not kind of way, because poor Otto has spent SO MUCH TIME trying to get his car fixed (we’re up to his car having been in the shop for a total of 18 days AND COUNTING, all for a DENT, which is a whole ‘nother story I’ll leave to Otto because it’s so cute when that little vein above his eye starts to pulse) that we just haven’t had time during the week to squander on a little date.
After lunch I had to make a quick run to the grocery store, because I am finding that my reluctance to buy any real food at Kroger when faced with swarms of fruit flies in produce or grey-looking meat in the chilled cases means that instead of shopping for a week, I grumble and purchase just enough food to get us through a couple of days and then hope that a return trip will yield better choices. (This is a stupid strategy, because the selection is rarely improved, but at least I’m going to the store three times as often!)
I zipped through the store as quickly as I could, and checked my watch as I was leaving. I should juuuuuust make it home before the bus. Perhaps the kids would beat me home if the bus came a little early, but hopefully I’d get there first.
(We have a protocol in place for the kids if they ever get home to an empty house. Not that they’ve ever had to use it, but theoretically they know what to do if it happens.)
Back home, there was no sign of the kids. Phew! I brought the groceries in and unpacked them. I whipped up a marinade for a piece of fish I’d bought, and put away some laundry. And then I checked the time again.
Huh. The kids should’ve been home by now.
At this point, I started peering out the windows, looking for the bus. I also craned my neck to check the neighbors’ houses, because it suddenly occurred to me that there was a SLIGHT possibility that they’d beaten me home and gone to a neighbor’s. That’s not part of our protocol, but kids will be kids, so who knows.
I saw no sign of my children, or the bus.
By the time they were 25 minutes late, I IMed Otto to tell him I was getting nervous. He suggested I call the school.
I called the school and they gave me the number for the bus garage. I went back to my computer and told Otto that I’d give it another 10 minutes, and then I was going to call.
10 minutes passed. I called the bus garage. I got bounced around through automated menus and put into someone’s voice mail. I hung up. I called again, tried a different combination of numbers, got put into someone else’s voice mail.
I stewed for another 10 minutes.
I called again, and this time hit 0 until I got a human.
“Well, ma’am, you see, the driver, she’s new. And um, she’s doing a double route today. But see, the thing is, her radio isn’t transmitting, so we’ve been trying to reach her and we haven’t gotten a response.”
There was a very. long. pause.
“I see,” I said, feeling very far away from the phone. “So what you are telling me is that my children have now been on the bus for—” I checked my watch “—close to an hour, with a new bus driver, and you are UNABLE TO LOCATE THEM??”
The conversation went downhill from there.
They showed up about 10 minutes later. Monkey was hysterical. Chickadee was just more world-weary than usual.
My tax dollars at work, people. I’m really starting to understand the whole homeschooling thing.