Lately, by the time I get to Friday, I’m lucky if I can still speak in complete sentences. I pack the kids off to school and return home to curl up with my laptop, and after a while I discover that I’ve been sipping my tea and staring at my wall for upwards of half an hour, and AMAZINGLY ENOUGH, my work is not doing itself. Go figure.
But after a week of school and work and activities and doctors’ appointments and paying bills and grocery shopping and whatever else it is that I end up doing between the hours of 6:00 am and midnight every damn day, by Friday I am just tapped out.
This is also usually the day that I pat myself on the back for having remembered to the do the laundry BEFORE the weekend. After I get done congratulating myself on my foresight, I then commence smacking myself in the face because it’s not the putting the laundry into the machine that takes time, but the putting away. And guess where all of that laundry is RIGHT NOW? If you guessed “half in the dryer and half in a basket next to the dryer” you win a fabulous prize. Well, no, you don’t. Wanna come over and help me pair socks, though?
So anyway, sorry, but you do not get a cohesive story today.
We’ve finally met Monkey’s soccer coach (he was absent from the first soccer game on account of his fraternity was having a tailgate… welcome to a football town). He is a fine young specimen of, um, soccer coaching. I’m actually old enough to be his mother, right? So on the heels of my FIRST reaction I then felt old and dirty for noticing how cute he is. And that was just wrong because I AM old but I’m very clean.
So Chickadee came home with a progress report this week, but Monkey never did. I finally asked him to ask his teacher about it, and he reported back that “she’s working on them.” You know, I never realized how much I liked silly little things like uniformity. At their old school, a class letter went home every month. At the new school, they proudly informed us that class letters go home every WEEK. Except that a class letter went home the FIRST week and NO ONE has received one since then. And then I have one kid with a progress report and one kid without one, because they’re… optional? Designated for… whatever date works for you? I have no idea.
This is on top of the whole “sure, we’ll test your kids for the gifted program and let you know” thing, which apparently consists of Monkey spending half his day in testing and Chickadee being promoted to gifted math WITHOUT being tested, and no results or even progress updates ever coming home. Their dad keeps asking me if they got into the program, and I am being 100% truthful when I tell him, “… MAYBE?”
My Discover bill has arrived. My Discover bill with my new computer on it. I haven’t opened it yet. I am afraid to, even though I know exactly what it says. It’s just that I like to put off the weeping for as long as possible.
And speaking of money, Evil Bank is STILL sending me account statements, and when I don’t hate the world with a full throttle of vehemence for a moment or two I like to call them up and tell them to STOP IT ALREADY. Every time I call, they assure me that this was my final statement and my accounts really are closed. I have THREE final statements on each account, now. I’m so lucky.
Otto has left me. Just for the weekend, but still. Sheesh. I am trying to psych myself up for a weekend “just like the old days!” with the kids, but I do rather enjoy having that guy around, you know?
So this morning at breakfast Monkey bursts out with, “Oh nooooo! Otto is going to miss pancakes with us tomorrow!” I agreed that he would likely be very sad about that, indeed.
Then Chickadee insisted that we not have pancakes without him because it wouldn’t be right. Monkey immediately agreed, and I made it unanimous because, hey, Otto is the pancake maker and Saturday is my morning to sit back and eat bon-bons.
And then I put cookies in the kids’ lunches, because these kids, they are pretty awesome.
And now for a random plug: Win fabulous prizes! Maybe! If you’re not already shopping with me over on Want Not, maybe you’d like to pop over today for a chance to win a kajeet phone or some Oh Mama! nutrition bars.
See, when I have nothing to say over there, I just give stuff away. Woo!
I’ve discovered a corollary to Murphy’s Law, and I’m going to call it the Law of Reverse Retail Availability. Yesterday I went to a kids’ consignment store looking for a raincoat for Monkey and some new pants for Chickadee. I left with a raincoat for Chickadee and pants for Monkey, because that’s what I found. Whoops.
I think it’s time for me to go stare into space for another half an hour….