Things you cannot put on a moving truck: Detergents, aerosols, propane, live animals.
Things I can stuff into Otto’s car, should I so desire: Detergents and aerosols.
Things I would like to take to Georgia with me, because I PAID MONEY FOR THAT, DAMMIT, which are rather large to take in the car given everything else we have: The propane tank on my grill.
Solution: The propane tank has got to be nearly empty… let’s just leave the grill running until it’s empty, and then the movers will be willing to put it on the truck!
Hey, guess what! I think I must’ve had the propane tank filled at some point and forgot about it, because the grill has been running for… *checking watch* nine hours. Huh.
We love Otto, because Otto hasn’t EVEN ONCE turned to me and asked how I could think that a nearly-full propane tank was almost empty.
We also love Otto, because here are the things he’s done today:
1) Walked the kids to the bus stop and took pictures not only of them, but key landmarks along our walk so that the kids will have them to refer to after we move.
2) Broken down a garage worth of boxes from places like Amazon and Zappos and I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM, I CAN STOP ANY TIME I WANT TO.
3) Filled up his brother’s big-ass truck with all that cardboard, plus a bunch of other crap.
4) Came over and hugged and kissed me when I was standing in the middle of my garage going WE’LL NEVER GET IT ALL DONE! I’M FREAKING OUT!
5) Drove to the dump, unloaded the big-ass truck.
6) Came back and sorted through the entire contents of my shed, which included all the containers I used during the Basement Flood of ’06 and never washed, which now smell like things died in them because in several cases, THINGS DIED IN THEM.
7) Described a dead animal discovered on a previous mission to said containers in such a way that the phrase “the skin slid right off the bones” was involved, and then didn’t mock me when I gagged.
8) Helped me mop up the lake created by defrosting the deep freezer, because I have owned that stupid thing for about 8 years and I still have no idea how one defrosts it without drowning.
9) Loaded the dishwasher, which is a total novelty for me because DUDE, no one has loaded my dishwasher in years. I am getting all hot and bothered just telling you about it, in fact.
10) Declared the Chi-Chi’s Lemon Drop concoction (which Chris and I bought a couple of weekends ago) to taste like the Battleship Massachusetts. Alas, I was not drunk and therefore didn’t think to ask him what the hell he was doing TASTING a battleship, but my interested blinking led him to attempt to explain something about unrecirculated air and I said okay, that’s nice honey.
11) Also, when I went to shake up the Lemon Drop container and it turned out that the top had cracked, so when I shook, I ended up spraying it all over the kitchen table. The first thing he did was get me some paper towels, and the second thing he did was suggest that I blog about it. (Because that’s entertainment, right there, making your kitchen table smell like a crowded hotel bar, by accident.)
12) Aaaaaand I managed to rip the screen door off the track today and all he said was “Okay, I can fix that.”
I am totally going to keep him.
(Everything that’s not packed yet, though, I may have to throw away. I’m really just kind of OVER packing, at this point.)
(But! We just dropped the price on the house to about a buck fifty, so I should probably get my crap out of here before someone swoops in to buy it at this extremely bargain price of This Market Sucks And We Are Screwed And No Longer Care.)
The movers are coming in the morning to do their portion of the packing, which is all the breakable stuff I don’t want to, ummm, break. That will be the end of cooking here, which is too bad because I think the grill will probably still be going and I thought it might be nice to toss some bacon on there for brunch. Oh well.
I’ll probably just rip the screen door off the track again and give the kids pop-tarts, instead.