The following all-points bulletin has been issued for the New England states:
Earlier today a beloved mother of seven disappeared from her home after a series of instant messaging exchanges. Police have been able to recover only small pieces of this communication, and can’t make heads nor tails of the messages within or determine with whom the vanished woman was speaking. The only clues they’ve extracted include these snippets:
enough family time
Concerned citizens should be on the lookout for a petite woman in a minivan who appears somewhat robotic. She is believed to be headed north and is easily lured by the promise of margaritas.
Her family is praying for her safe return.