Wait, it’s not Sunday?

By Mir
May 28, 2007

I have spent the entire day convinced that it’s Sunday. Nevermind that I went to church YESTERDAY (which should’ve been my first clue), but the whole Monday-holiday thing, it confuses me. I cannot be expected to follow along.

I was supposed to spent today sorting and pitching the ever-growing contents of some of my closets, but that’s hard to do with a helper who likes to chew on things. With the dog here, it became clear that cleaning was not meant to be. (Oh! Twist my arm! Keep me from being productive! Okay!)

Just so that I wouldn’t feel like a total slug, I decided to take the dog for a nice long walk.

I’d actually tried to walk her yesterday, and we didn’t stay out for very long. She was utterly uncontrollable on the leash, and it was pretty hot and miserable out. But today I had renewed resolve. I put the leash on her and off we went.

Today was slightly cooler, and there was a nice breeze. I thought that would help, you know, because it was more comfortable. In reality, a good strong breeze is apparently the ultimate puppy overload, because instead of there just being things to sniff on the ground, there are smells EVERYWHERE! She had to sniff low and high and everywhere inbetween. Every time the wind gusted, she stopped and put her nose in the air and I swear I could hear her little brain spinning in overdrive while she tried to place each and every scent.

I quickly discovered that the dog has only two modes on the leash. GOTTA GO GOTTA SNIFF GOTTA RUN, and HOWZABOUT WE STOP HERE AND HAVE A NAP. So the first lap around the neighborhood, I was constantly trying to reel her in. The second lap, I was fairly dragging her along, as she sank into every shady patch of grass and looked up at me with pleading eyes and her big pink tongue hanging out of her panting mouth. Being the big meanie that I am, I dragged her along for a while longer before returning home.

After a few slurps from the water bowl, she fell into a deep sleep next to my desk. Such hard work requires recuperation, you know.

My friend’s husband came to pick up the dog around dinnertime, and you have never seen an animal so excited. Her people were back! They hadn’t abandoned her! She could go home and poop in her very own yard! It was a touching reunion, truly.

In return for dog-sitting, I had a special favor to ask. On Friday I’d taken out my mower for the first time this season and couldn’t get it started. I was hoping that a mechanically-inclined man might be able to fix or at least diagnose it for me. He looked skeptical but offered to have a look.

“I must’ve pulled the cord 50 times,” I told him as I wheeled it out of the garage. “Of course, now you’ll probably just give it a yank and it’ll start right up! That’d be funny.”

He gave it a yank and it started right up. Freaking show-off, he is.

I believe the official diagnosis, then, is Weak and Puny Operator. Hmph. (Hey, it’s often really hard to do the first start of the season. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)

So I got rid of the dog and mowed the lawn. And remained convinced it was Sunday right up until my ex brought the children back and pointed out that it’s Monday.

Then I realized I’m moving in 4 weeks and I hadn’t packed a damn thing all weekend. Technically I guess I can’t blame that on being confused about what day it was, but I am inches from panic, anyway. Um, anyone want to buy some air conditioners? Or an extra water heater…?


  1. Zee

    Won’t you need air conditioners in Georgia? Isn’t it hot there?? (Or do they have central air installed the way New Englanders have central heating? :) )

  2. Patricia

    ACs? As in pural? As in how blooming expensive would it be to ship them to my un AC’d house in the Nor Cal? And if it isn’t blooming expensive, how wide are these ACs, because I may be interested….
    just saying.

  3. Cele

    Mir you will be happy to know that just happened to Ducky. He thought he’d be nice and mow sister number’s 1 lawn for her. He and Sister one couldn’t get it started. But sister number two’s hubby is mechincally inclined. Yep, he came over, yanked on the cord ONCE and it started right up.

  4. Brigitte

    Isn’t that true of about ANY item that we complain isn’t working? Those electronics and machines are out to make us look bad.

  5. LadyBug Crossing

    That lawnmower needs a good swift kick… How dare it make you look like a puny weakling…

    We don’t have a push mower any more… we have a tractor… Mr. LOVES his tractor!! You turn the key and it starts. :-)

  6. Sara

    Love the description of the dog on its walk. I believe I have taken a walk like that before, only instead of GOTTA NAP it was GOTTA SQUAT AND PEE EVERY FIFTEEN FEET. Thus the doggy was given the nickname Pierre because after that much squatting she couldn’t possibly have had anything left to pee BUT air!

  7. meritt

    10 moves in my marriage history and my advice would be – don’t pack until 2 weeks out. That’s the best packing. Before that? You’ll be unpacking everything again because you suddenly have this overwhelming need for that 1 thing that you thought for sure you could live without for a month and already packed! LOL.

  8. Bob

    you know, you could’ve asked earlier. I bought an air conditioner yesterday.

    how does someone have a spare, working water heater?

    I hope you have REALLY GOOD FRIENDS who are willing to come over and help pack you out the weekend you’re moving.

    a case of beer usually helps.

  9. Katie

    Ugh, I hate the lawn mower cord pulley thingie, I can never do it either. Still sending good house selling vibes your way.

  10. MomCat

    Mir, I sympathize with you on the mower issue. Once, when my hub was out of town for a couple weeks in the summer, I tried to mow our lawn. I couldn’t push the mower up a slope. It was so heavy.
    When I told him about it later, he expressed surprise and said, “But, this mower is great, being self-propelled…don’t tell me you didn’t…?”
    And then he proceeded to show me how you squeeze a little lever towards the handle, and the mower just breezes along!
    Starting it was easy, though. It has a key.

  11. jenn2

    Craig’s List.

  12. Jamie Lee

    Although dog walks (and I take many) can be a pain in the arse sometimes, I definitely keep that “chore” on my To Do list and not on hubby’s. Sometimes, it’s just the excuse I need to get out of the house for a minute.

  13. Woman with Kids


  14. mo

    My mower was also difficult to start. I spent about 30 minutes wiggling things, adding oil and pulling and priming. My lawn was about to swallow small children and the neighbours were getting testy (doesn’t help that I live next to the guy who cuts sections with scissors!). So I called brother-in-law (hubs was outta town) and asked if he’d bring his mower over. He came by, looked at my mower and pulled and damn if it didn’t start. ARGH!

  15. marsha

    You know what? It’s Tuesday and I am also in the holiday mode….all of Sat, Sun, Mon and Tues….beat that!

  16. ChristieNY

    When I was little I used to struggle with things like opening pickle jars and such, I’d turn and turn and turn and finally, defeated, hand it to my Dad to open.

    Of course it would open right up and he’d kindly say, “Thanks, you loosened it for me, you’re a great helper!”

    I think you just loosened that pull-cord on the mower for the friend to start up. You really should be getting all the credit ya know! :)

  17. Melanie Marie

    My car LOVES to play that game! It won’t start and I will do everything I know how to do and then some guy will come along and it will start right up for him.

  18. Randi

    Hey – I’m only up here in VT – I could use a couple of extra air conditioners – especially if one of them is portable LOL.

    I agree, don’t stress about packing until at least two weeks out. Another tip? Let the kids, especially Monkey, have a few boxes of their own to pack. Let them label them any way they want (stickers, markers, whatever) so that they can easily tell which ones are for their room. It gives them a sense of helping AND a sense of orientation.

    ME? Mow the lawn? That’s exactly why I got married, so I wouldn’t have to anymore – isn’t that why you married Otto?? LOL

  19. Kristen

    Can I recommend just throwing everything out? I mean, you should probably keep the kids clumps of hair from the first haircut and all that crap, but the rest should go. This coming from a woman who had 2 pods worth of crap in storage for a year. And just got it back. I’m amazed at what I can live without.

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