Little of this, little of that

Hmmmm… I think I wasn’t clear about Otto’s brothers in my last post. But thanks to all of your suggestions, I think we have our monikers worked out. The brother who DID SO PRACTICALLY BEG FOR A NICKNAME regardless of whatever damage control he’s trying to do now is definitely going to be Nearly Nickless from now on. He is not, however, the brother who came through with the GPS. That brother shall henceforth be known as Wild Thing.

Assuming that Nearly Nickless continues speaking to me after I publish this, if he wants to top Wild Thing’s wedding gift, I suppose he could get us a pony. Or maybe a Prius! To put the GPS in!

[Hey, I can’t help it that I want to get my hands on that GPS so that I can love it and hug it and squeeze it and call it George. It’s not that I wasn’t really looking forward to calling Otto every time I went out so that I could cry “I have no idea where I am!”, but I just suspect I will learn to cope with the disappointment while I drive around my new town to the dulcet tones of turn-by-turn directions that do not come from a husband who’s in the middle of teaching a class.]

* * * * *

Due to the fact that I was very busy running around screaming “LICE! LIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!” last week, I totally forgot to mention that the very day the kids were branded with the Scarlet L, Monkey had his music concert at school. So we didn’t just have to de-louse, we had to de-louse in a hurry so that we could get to the school that night for his big musical debut.

The program was about the moon, based upon some book whose title I didn’t catch, but basically we had about 40 first-graders all dressed up according to the different month’s moons. So, I don’t know, one of the summer months is a Corn Moon, so there were kids dressed like corn. And one of the months involved a couple of kids dressed like flowers being circled by a kid dressed like a rabbit.

Do these things ever make sense? No, they do not. But it doesn’t matter, because the kids are cute and watching them all squirm around on stage is entertainment enough.

Monkey was… ummm… moon grass? He stuck his head through a posterboard festooned with grass, and pranced his way around the stage when it was his turn to get up. He danced, he twirled, he grinned from ear to ear. All of this just about an hour after having his head slathered with toxins and being combed out for an hour with a teeny tiny comb.

I am pretty darn fond of that kid, is what I’m saying.

* * * * *

While discussing summer plans with Otto:

Me: So we’ve been invited for the 4th, if you want to go.
Otto: Cool, sounds fun.
Me: Good, because if you didn’t want to go I was just going to take the kids and go without you.
Otto: Wait… you were just going to DITCH ME?
Me: … just for the DAY….
Otto: Oh, great. I see how it is. Less than two months into our marriage, we’ll be, and you’re just going to take off.
Me: Well, yeah, but JUST FOR THE DAY.
Otto: No, no, don’t try to make it better.
Otto: Just good to know where your priorities are.
Otto: I rank below your friends, that’s fine.
Me: Okay, well it WAS going to just be for the day….

I feel that our cohesion as a couple who drives one another insane is coming along quite nicely.

* * * * *

Hey, did I mention that I have been crazy-swamped with work lately? Maybe I didn’t, because I was too busy working. Ha! I slay me! Anyway, most of the time there’s not much to tell, here, because it’s, um, work. And often sort of boring.

But! Today! I get to tell you that all of my deepest, darkest—okay, not darkest, maybe weirdest—dreams for meta-fulfillment have come true. If you’ve been reading me for a long time you may remember those early days back when I hung out my shingle (amidst much trepidation and with a bottle of Ativan clutched in my hand). Back then I had no idea if I could really make it as a freelance writer. And today, I’m not only doing it, I’m doing it, in part, by writing about being a freelance writer. Come on over and visit, and be sure to check out the entire (fabulous) site. You may notice I’m in excellent company over there.

And heaven knows I needed another place to blog.


  1. Procrastamom

    We had a GPS unit in our rental car on our recent trip to Florida and “Henrietta” (what we named her) was invaluable! We’d still be driving around in search of a Target store if not for her bossy ways. “In .3 miles exit right. EXIT RIGHT! GO RIGHT!!!” She was British too, so we were kind of scared that she’d throw blood pudding at us if we didn’t follow the directions to the letter.

    And lice is not nice. Rhymes the girl whose family is currently having their proverbial asses kicked by the pestulence. Okay, only two of us…but guess which adult got it? Also, don’t guess the Dad whose head is shaved bald.

  2. C~

    Better to have likable in-laws than the other kind…

    Lice, ick…but way to go, Monkey!

    Otto cracks me. You did good, Mir.

    And I never doubted your writing success for a second. It’s just that…well…I do miss those unemployment office posts. THAT was some masterful writing…I’m just sayin’. ;)

  3. Nicole

    Very, very cool – congrats. I’m gonna sign right up.

  4. Cele

    I’d thought about getting a gps for my ducky who drives me insane (regardless of who is driving) is it this corner? I know what hell his parents when through now. But the British accent would get the gps thrown out the window. Ho hum.

  5. Kendra

    we call our GPS “voice” Lola…we like Lola. L-O-L-A, lola. La la la la Lolaaaaaaah :)

  6. Stew

    Nice one on the new gig!

  7. cce

    Congrats on stepping in to a family that seems to accept you. That’s a huge gift, making your life SO much easier. My in-laws are divorced and half the equation is lovely and accepting and incredibly generous and the other half is difficult and dysfunctional and darkly sinister. One guess which half I like better.

  8. meritt

    I must be one of the only bloggers who does not want a book deal! LOL. Everyone is always concerned about their writing and I have to stop, look around with my mouth hanging open and say, ‘Uh, I just sit and write whatever I am thinking about while I sip my coffee! I don’t even use Word to write it ‘first’ and 90% of the time don’t even use spellcheck!’

  9. Bob

    oh god. I feel for Otto. I can see the tone for the marriage has totally been set.

    poor guy doesn’t get to be the newlywed husband, doing everything together, each decision made after long conversations about “what do you want to do, darling? whatever makes you happy, darling. really, I don’t want to go if you don’t. what do you want to do?…..”

    y’all have moved straight to year 20 of the marriage. “I’m going over to whosits. coming?”

    I’m with ya’, Otto.

  10. Genevieve

    Mir, my husband loves our GPS because my panicked phone calls to him shouting “I turned off at the wrong place and I’ve never seen this part of town before and I’m TOTALLY lost!” decreased by 98%.

  11. Stephanie

    Congratulations! I can’t get that website here at work, but I will be sure to go home and check it out. Mir, I can hardly keep up with all the places you blog. And you have to keep up with them and come up with something to write for them all? Great work, though!

  12. Sheila

    I think Monkey’s show costume would have been complete had you placed one of those “pesticide application- keep off for 48 hours” signs on the moon grass. Think he would have minded? Great photo opportunity, there. Good times.

    Now I’m off to check out your newest venture.

  13. Heidi

    Well, let’s HOPE your new GPS unit didn’t come equipped with blood pudding. Ewwww. Might want to check that out before you install it in your new Prius.

  14. Karen

    Congratulations! Fingers in many pies, eh? I think that’s the way to do it, though I admire your powers of focus and discipline, keeping it all straight.

  15. Amy-Go

    I feel so special!! *does happy dance around kitchen* Sorry, Otto!

  16. mcewen

    GPS does away with Mapquest and the latter has a higher error count with accompanying additional grey hairs.
    What you spend on GPS you save on hair dye.

  17. Randi

    Congrats on the new job! I feel you – only a few weeks ago I, too, jumped off of the “freelance” cliff – so far the parachute has held…so far…

  18. Been to Atlanta & left

    You will absolutely LOVE the GPS when you get to Atlanta. I was there for 2 months & was able to work as a courier with my GPS.

  19. Jen

    I do loves me some Meta! Love your column there, too.

  20. chris

    Love your new column.

    Help, I’m cornered!

  21. Jane

    I guess I’m the only one who really liked and related to the Bugs Bunny reference! My G sometimes runs around saying “rabbit – duck-rabbit-duck-SHOOT” And George is a good name for a pet, whatever type it may be! And congrats on the new gig, it’s nice to know dreams can come true.

  22. Brigitte

    I love the quote from the new blog, “snobby know-it-all with a low tolerance for authority” – hey, that’s ME when I’m looking for a job! Or maybe I’m just lazy . .

  23. Dorothy

    Sweet! New gig! Very exciting! And love the photo – how handy!

  24. Jamie Lee

    Kudos on Monkey’s performance. Love that – the show must go on!
    But I’m mostly excited about your new blog on freelance writing. Just added you to my bloglines whatchamacallit (can you tell I’m still fairly new to the whole blogosphere thing?). Looking SO forward to reading more.

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