Maybe you could wake me on Friday

By Mir
March 12, 2007

Today was one of those days where I spent the entire day really just wanting to sit down in the middle of the room and weep for a few hours. No particular reason. Well, a hundred particular reasons, but none any different than any other day. Today just happened to be the day that I’d had enough, and yet, ODDLY ENOUGH, the world did not halt so that I could have a break, a snack, and a tantrum. Go figure.

My fabulous shoes that I bought for a song to go with my wedding dress arrived today, and they are even more gorgeous in person than the online picture revealed. I unwrapped them and thought how lovely to have one thing go right today! Then I tried to put them on my feet and that was the end of that.

Hey, SO WHAT if I found the very most perfect shoes for an unbelievable price but they don’t fit? Something else will come along! No big deal!

[Except that I was already cranky. Oh well.]

And I had to have that conversation with the realtor, the one that goes like this: “I know we said we’d aim for the 15th, but I’m not ready for you to come take pictures yet because I’m not done with everything that needs doing, so if you can just give me through the weekend so that I can have a few more nervous breakdowns, first, that’d be swell. Thanks.” I also had to admit that I didn’t tape the walls when I painted the ceilings (why didn’t I tape the walls?), and I managed to slop paint on the only walls for which I don’t have touch-up paint. Because I’m gifted that way. My realtor sounded a little bit like he was trying not to cry. But I’m sure that was my imagination.

The children returned from school and Chickadee dropped her coat, boots, and backpack and then made a beeline for my lap.

“How was school?”

“Fine.” Really? It was fine? Why was she now curled up in a ball in my lap?

“You okay, honey?”

“My head hurts.”

Monkey joined us and began gently patting her on the back, all the while speaking at elevated volume (by accident): “POOR CHICKIE! YOUR HEAD IS HURTING? I WILL HELP!”

She turned and buried her face in my clavicle, muttering, “Monkey, shhhhh, my head can’t listen right now.”

Oh, dear. Now, the thing about Chickadee is that she is my dying swan. Never put it past her to manufacture a spectacular drama precipitated by a splinter or a runny nose. But this was different. She felt cool (no fever) but she just looked terrible. All pale and limp.

Nothing caps off a crappy day like a mystery illness in your kid! (Don’t be jealous just because my life is so great, now.)

A bit of probing revealed nothing other than a severe headache. And this was where I started hoping that she was coming down with something, because migraines run in my family. We all know Chickadee hasn’t had the easiest row to hoe in her little life, but having her first migraine before she turns 9 still seems a bit much.

I sent her upstairs to lie down, and she went without argument. A few minutes later I followed with tylenol and an ice pack, and got her all dosed up and arranged with the pack under her neck and a cloth over her eyes. I told her I’d be back in a few minutes and went back downstairs.

Monkey was happily playing Webkinz, but looked up to ask how Chickadee was feeling. I told him she was resting a bit, and he nodded and went back to his game. I went back to some of my own work, and after ten minutes went back upstairs.

Chickadee was sound asleep. At 3:30 in the afternoon. If I had to venture a guess of when the last time that happened was, I’d be poking back to 2002. She woke up after about an hour and a half, but was no better.

So, it would appear that she’s dying. (Which is sad, because I was just starting to really like her again.)

I’m not sure what tomorrow will bring. She might wake up all better, or she might be sick. I might get over my current pity-party, or I might spend the day randomly throwing away clutter while breathing into a paper bag. Who knows! That’s what makes life SO MUCH FUN, the whole not knowing exactly how crappy things are going to be, in advance. Hooray!

Update: Not a migraine! Fevers and sickness all around this morning. I guess I should be pleased.


  1. Mamacita

    Both of my kids began their migraine journey well before they started kindergarten, and possibly sooner, possibly before they had the verbal skills to really describe what was happening. I hope, with your daughter, it’s just a bug she picked up that will fly away soon.

  2. Karianna

    Um, can’t you just cut a few toes off to get the shoes to fit?

    Hope Chickadee improves rapidly: it is no fun to have migraines, or to have someone in the family who does. I hope it is something else in her case.

    My husband has the crazy visual effects that make him think he is having a stroke before he pukes and remembers it is a migraine. Watching him wobble like a weeble is no fun.

  3. Cele

    My brother started his migraines around age 7. I didn’t realize mine were even migraines until around age now. I hope Chickie feels better and mommy too.

  4. Zee

    I was just (recently) diagnosed with migraines myself (at age 31) but I’ve had them for years. I’ve found that if I catch them early with a couple of Maximum Strength Excedrin (do they even sell “regular strength” pills anymore?) usually it’ll head it off at the pass. If not, it’s an evening in bed after taking migraine-killer meds that dull the pain but makes me nauseated. Trade off, I guess. I’m thankful I don’t get them so bad I barf or require hospitalization.

    Fingers crossed that Chickie doesn’t have actual migraines but instead some mystery illness that leaves quickly with no discernable after-effect and she’s back to her lovely self quickly!

    Sorry about the shoes…could you maybe take them to a shoe repair guy and have them stretched a bit?

  5. Heather

    I hope Chickadee feels better soon! And I’m very sorry that your shoes don’t find – but I know you! You are a super shopper! So you will find more shoes! (Could my comments be any more inane? Or enthusiastic!?)

  6. Sara

    Migraines suck. I love my migraine meds and value them like gold (actually, I think ounce for ounce, they are more expensive than gold.) and I, too, hope that this is simply a quickie mystery illness and not the onset of the suckiness that is being a migraine sufferer.
    Your pretty, pretty shoes don’t fit?! Crapola! I will pray that the gods of the internet shine down upon you and cause an even prettier, cheaper pair that actually fits to magically appear upon your monitor.

  7. LadyBug Crossing

    Hope your Chickadee feels better this morning…

    Bummer about the shoes…

  8. MomCat

    My daughter and I both started having migraines at a young age. There are different triggers. Stress, allergies and hormones are the main three. For my daughter, ice, ibuprofen and a Coke help the most. The caffeine constricts the swollen blood vessels in the dura — the membrane surrounding the brain — that cause the constricted, throbbing pain. However, this only works if you are not a regular consumer of caffeine, and save it for medicinal purposes. I let her put the ice on the part of her head that hurts the most, and switch out the ice packs (usually bags of frozen peas that are kept for that very purpose) every half hour.

    It’s good that you are taking her seriously. The level of pain can be unbelievable. There are several times a migraine made me think, “Just shoot me now!”

    Another thing to remember – after a bad migraine, the sufferer can experience what my doctor calls an “echo” migraine. The brain is actually bruised from the pressure and is sore for a day or two. It causes a great dread that the pain of the migraine will return and can cause touchiness about noise, light, etc. She may tell you she still has a headache, but her activities seem almost normal. She probably isn’t playing for attention – it still hurts, just not as much.

    You are giving her understanding, and that is the most important thing. You’re a great mom, Mir!!

  9. David

    I don’t know why I didn’t see it before — YOU need a fairy godmother. With wand. I’ll see if I can find one for you on eBay. Till then, prayerful thoughts.

  10. tori

    Hooray for the fever…well, because it wasn’t a migraine…you know what I mean. We have had fevers here too, but mainly they are fine during the day and around 4 they get fevers and fall asleep. Hopefully it will be back to school for everyone in my house today! Hope you are all better soon too!

    As for Webkinz, my kids have them too. If your son ever wants to play battleship or other games with one of my kids, send me his user name so they can invite each other.

  11. Judy

    I’m glad Chickie turned out just to be sick and not migrainish. They are absolutely no fun. I hate that about the shoes… I hate buying things online for that reason. Sigh. Good luck with the rest of the house stuff. Bob and I keep talking about “one day” finishing fixing this house up and selling. The more I read about getting houses ready to sell… the more I’m not sure I want to do that!

  12. Jen

    So glad Chickie didn’t have a migraine! One of my 7 year olds has them and we’re currently trying to figure out if the situation warrants prophylaxis meds. No fun, indeed.

    Must also check out this Webkinz you speak of … especially if it entertains little Monkey boys. I may seriously need that!

  13. karen t

    Hope your little chick feels better soon.

  14. Woman with Kids

    Yay for fevers and sickness!

    So sorry about the shoes… but on the bright side, when you’re ready to look at that, it means the opportunity to shop for more shoes…

  15. Brown Eyed Girl

    Considering what you said about the family history…I’ll take fever and sickness.

    Hope she feels better soon.

  16. Monica

    Please, for the commenters, if your kids are suffering more than one migraine a week, investigate prophylaxis meds. It took me 5 years of migraines 2-3 times a week before my doctor even suggested it, and another 6 months of trying different drugs before finding one that worked for me(there are about a dozen options, each one seems to work for 60% of patients. The trick is finding one you are in the right 60% of)

    They won’t do it unless your migraines are regular, otherwise they have to keep you on these drugs longer to determine if it’s working.

    The regime I’m on now is supposed to be 6 months on, up to a year off. Restarting everytime the aura’s return. In reality what we’ve been seeing is 6 months on, almost 3 years off.

    Considering I used to take $40 pills up to 4 or 5 a week, and the preventative drugs are $.12/day it’s a huge financial benefit too.

    As for Chickie, so glad she doesn’t have them. Fever is definitely a welcome sign this time.

  17. Chewie

    All of my kids’ had the bad headache with this year’s flu…no throwing up, but slight upper respiratory issues and MAJOR head aches for every one of them.

    The fever came about 12-24 hours into it and remained for a week!

    Sorry your kids are sick.

  18. Aimee

    Well, I’m glad Chickie didn’t have a migraine, but sorry about the fevers. Hope everyone feels better soon!

  19. Velma

    Hooray for a fever! Boo for on-line shoe purchases that don’t fit – I’ve got a pair to mail back today.

  20. Shalee

    I was 11 when I had my first migraine. Fortunately, it was discovered that mine were directly related to lack of sleep and eating crappily over a period of time. Easy fix for the most part.

    But I’m glad to hear that it’s only a sickness that will pass.

    And bummer about the shoes. If at first you don’t succeed, buy, buy again. And in all sincerity, I think the world should stop when I have my ever-so-need breakdown. It’s not to much to ask in my opinion.

  21. Mom2One

    Wow. You’re so enthusiastic when you’re life is going down the crapper. I ought to take lessons from you, but somehow, that would interfere with my style of what looks like staring into space but is really watching molecules in the air moving around.

    (honestly, so sorry it’s fevers and sickness all around. You could cheer about it if you felt up to it but you probably don’t.)

  22. hollygee

    I’ve had two migraines. Watermelon is the trigger so I have avoided it [never liked it anyway] and the M’s ever since. I know how lucky I am since, in the midst of the M, I understood why one would kill themselves to rid them of pain.

    Thank god that it is not that for Chickie.

    Barefoot wedding?

  23. jenn2

    Bah! What a crappy day. I wish I was closer and could bring paint, shoes, snacks, wine, and help. Here are good thoughts for tomorrow…er, today.

  24. MomCat

    Prophylaxis meds are a great concept, but one must beware the side effects. The first drug that I tried (Neurontin) worked well – but I gained 20 pounds in eight weeks. The doctor told me after the weight gain that it stimulates the appetite centers in your brain as well. (Then I hit him! No…but I wanted to.) I took Topamax next, which can actually cause weight loss (“Yay!” I was thinking), however, it caused blurry vision and crippling fatigue. I just have to avoid foods that are triggers, use alternative treatments, like ice, and have migraine interference drugs on hand at all times.

    I’m very glad for Chickadee that it wasn’t a migraine, but sad that the “Mir” family is sick. Prayers for wellness sent your way!!

  25. Melanie Marie

    Wow. You’re having loads of fun. I’m glad that it wasn’t a migraine! I hope things get a little easier for you (or a lot). I have every confidence that you will be able to find better shoes for even cheaper (being the Queen of all things shoe related)! And those ones might actually fit!

  26. TSM-truth, sincerity, madness

    On the plus side, at least she waited until you were back from your trip!

    Until I read the bottom of your post I was SO crying with you. Our 15 yr old has had migraines since he was 12, and lately he’s getting them weekly (or more!). It’s a nightmare. He refuses to take the beta blockers and stays home too much, leaving his grades to suffer.

    OH…yeah, this is YOUR blog…

    I’m SO sorry about the shoes. What do they look like? Were they too small? Too big? Maybe somewhere in blog land someone has something to offer…probably not me, but I would if I did!

  27. Heidi

    You just tell your realtor that if he doesn’t stop sounding like he’s going to cry, you’ll let your children breathe on him. THAT’LL give him something to cry about.

  28. liz

    Oh, poor you. Poor Chickadee. * pat pat pat * I hope that all is well in her brain now. (leaving you w i d e open for any remark you want to make about your child. I, of course, think she’s beautiful and perfect.) On the sunny side, Monkey was wonderful, wasn’t he? Patient and empathetic and totally well-behaved. Not at all like the pimp he resembled in his potential wedding outfit.

    I promise you’ll find new shoes. If not, just wear white leather Keds, like I wore with my wedding dress. We’ll be married six years in May, and I still wear them at least once a week. They’re a little worn, but I can loan them to you if you like. Something borrowed? :)

  29. Liise

    oooh Mir. I am sending you a big cyber hug and glad to see that Chickadee didn’t have a migraine. Everything. Will. Be. ALRIGHT! mmm kay? You hear me? yes? Good.

    What size shoe do you wear? Or is that personal? i have like 5 brand new pairs of lovely shoes. I can’t hardly walk in them because, well I am uncoordinated. You probably aren’t. So if I have your size and something you like I’d much rather ship to you than drop off at Goodwill. I wear size 9. (You probably don’t)

  30. Susan

    Oh no! The SHOOOOOES! So sad.

    My new fab shoes didn’t fit, either. Sigh.

  31. MMM

    I’m so glad it wasn’t a migraine!!! Sorry she’s sick, but we have headache problems in our family, and I know how devastating they can be. Hugs to the girl. And also you. Sucky, pretty, shoes not fitting. I may have licked the screen when I first saw them.

  32. Sophie

    Well, I’m glad it wasn’t a migraine. Really. I started getting them when I was 9; it was the hormones kicking in, I think. Now that I’m 46 and the hormones are kicking out, the migraines are back. I know, I know, like you didn’t have anything better to do than read about my whiney migraines. Hope you all are feeling better soon.

  33. Laura

    I have been lurking for awhile now, but there was a comment that reminded me of a Seinfeld stand-up bit where he said that in terms of medicine: Strength is out, no one carries just plain ‘strength’ anymore. It’s all EXTRA strength and MAXIMUM strength. Basically you want to find the maximum dose that will kill you, and then back it off just a little bit.

    Anyways, hope the family feels better soon!

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