At least there was time for Chinese food

By Mir
February 10, 2007

So in the excitement of finding out my son might not just be a gigantic pain in the butt after all, and all of your lovely comments (thank you so much, you lovely pretty people who are pulling for my kid), I didn’t even think to mention that Otto was here.

Was. Past tense. Because he was here for about a day and then he left. I think it was something I said.

It wasn’t anything I said, really. He was just passing through on his way to an adjacent state and managed to stop here long enough for me to give him a haircut and feed him some fried rice. Because he has priorities.

Having him here so briefly is bittersweet, of course, because on the one hand I’m very grateful to see him at all, but on the other just one day seems like a cruel tease. The sting of this fleeting visit is tempered somewhat by the fact that in just a couple of weeks, the kids and I are headed down to Georgia for our official scouting trip.

[Digression: OHMYGOD what if the kids hate it and what if we can’t find any houses we like to look at and what if the schools are yucky or what if the schools are great but the kids forget to use “sir” and “ma’am” and we’re tagged as those bratty Yankees? Or what if there’s one of those freak ice storms and we end up stuck in D.C. or something or, worse, circling the airport for a million hours or what if it snows HERE and I can’t GET to the airport in the first place? What if one of the kids gets sick or what if they are eaten by palmetto bugs or fall into the shark tank at the aquarium? There are SO MANY DISASTERS I can imagine about this trip and really so little time left to fully obsess over them properly!]

Where was I? Oh. Right. So we had about a day, and that was fine. We got up and had breakfast with the kids on Friday morning and walked them to the bus stop and then came back home and took a nap, because it’s important to find a partner who shares your interests and hobbies, and my hobby is sleeping. Later we got up and did a bit of work and ate lunch and puttered around and then the kids came home and we played with them for a while.

Otto also insisted on getting out his camera and torturing me with it, and if you didn’t believe me all of the times before when I said I was not very bright, believe it now, because there is nothing in the world I hate more than having my picture taken and I’m marrying a photographer. I will leave it to your imaginations to puzzle out how the scales tip heavily enough in his favor that I’m willing to overlook this one minor detail.

Shortly before I managed to distract him with a WILLING subject (“Chickadee! Otto would like to take your picture! Go over there!”), I did remind him that turnabout is fair play.

Then Monkey threatened to run away for some reason (it obviously made a real impression on me, because mostly all I remember about it was trying not to laugh), and after we convinced him to stay we all played Tribond Junior for a while before the kids headed over to their dad’s for the weekend.

After they left we picked up dinner and a movie and did our impression of an utterly boring couple and it was lovely.

This morning we slept in a bit and then Otto had to get up and drive on to his destination. I waited almost an hour after he left before I called him, too, which I think showed remarkable restraint on my part.

Before he left I made sad puppy eyes and said, “I wish you didn’t have to leave,” and Otto said he wished he didn’t have to, either, but that it was okay, because we’d see each other again in just a few weeks. Then we briefly discussed the next few visits, pointing out to each other—as we so often do—that we really should figure out when we’re going to get married. And we both nodded and agreed and said Yes, we should really figure that out soon.

And then Otto headed off for his weekend plans and I puttered around the house and ate leftover Chinese food and wondered if finding a dress to be married in is going to be more or less difficult than finding jeans that fit.


  1. LadyBug Crossing

    A short visit is better than no visit… kinda…

    Hey – if you get stuck in DC, call me. I’ll come and get you.

    I’d think that it would be easier to find a dress to get married in than a comfy pair of jeans.

  2. Marvo

    I say you get married in jeans!!! Or even better!?! Denim wedding dress!!!

  3. Lucinda

    Dress will be much easier because you only wear it for a few hours. The tolerable level of discomfort is way higher. Glad he was able to visit if only for a short time.

  4. steph

    let me get this straight….otto was there for about 24 hours and you “took a nap???” yeahhhhh…riiiigghhhht

  5. Em

    Napping is a euphemism for sex….right????

  6. Janis

    Oh yeah, the dress will be much easier! Skirts are so forgiving and can possibly even be billowy. Even if you opt for something merely flow-y or even form-fitting, the dress will be easier. I’m betting you’ll even find one on sale. (I did – and then I sold it on consignment after the big event.) This is such an exciting time for you – so many big events looming!

  7. Valbee

    Mir, if my sister’s four girls, who let’s just say weren’t brought up with a whole lot of manners before they moved to SC, could master the whole “sir” and “ma’am” thing, I’m confident that Chickadee and Monkey will do just fine. :)

  8. Melanie

    Napping is an awesome hobby. I love napping. And wedding dress shopping isn’t too bad – I got mine at Jessica McClintock for like $200 and I only tried only half a dozen before I found The One. Jeans, though. Jeans are another story. You almost never find The One in jeans. Speaking of which, did you get those other ones hemmed?

  9. MMM

    “There are SO MANY DISASTERS I can imagine about this trip and really so little time left to fully obsess over them properly!”
    1. I feel like that every day!
    2. We had Chinese food today, too. YUMMM!
    3. Sleeping is my hobby, too!

  10. David

    A dress? Doesn’t that come as a package deal with the new house? *ducking*

  11. Julie

    Umh, Mir, palmetto bugs don’t eat little children. They eat crumbs, clothing, bookbindings, soap, dust, other bugs, cat food, laundry detergent, cardboard and pretty much anything else, but not little children. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that, hun.

  12. Crisanne

    Nap…so that’s what they’re calling it these days… :)

  13. Meghann

    You forgot hurricanes. That season starts up in just a few months. :D

    p.s.-palmetto bugs aren’t too bad, except for when you wake up and see one on the ceiling over your bed. . .and then it falls.

  14. Carson

    Dress will be easier, because you can buy whatever dress you want. Price is not really an issue, because, hello? It’s a wedding dress! So you get to go try on some expensive dresses. My sister chose a dark purple for her *first* wedding, because she was 41 & wouldn’t wear ivory. So she made me wear it–and I’m not too many years younger, and I have a wattel. (Isn’t that what the neck fat is called?)

    Anyway, there are lots of beautiful dresses out there, so I know you will find one.

    And I didn’t comment on the Monkey post, but I know you must feel like boulders have been lifted from your soul. Good on you.

  15. Mom2One

    I agree, I think finding a dress will be easier. And if it’s going to be a simple wedding, finding a date for the wedding might not be so bad either.

    I wish you all the best with both.

  16. Lady M

    Just remember to pack some of those military surplus survival tablets (you can live for 15 days eating just those and water!) that I wrote about last month. Even if you get stranded somewhere, you won’t need to eat one of the children for sustenance. Totally kidding!

  17. Sara

    Ha! Otto is absolutely *nothing* like I was picturing him in my head. The Otto in my head has different hair, doesn’t wear glasses and oh yeah, doesn’t have a camera for a face!
    But now! Now I will be able to have an appropriate picture in my head when you speak of him.
    Also: EEEK! Palmetto bugs!

  18. Laura

    EVERYTHING is easier than shopping for jeans.

  19. Terri

    If it makes you feel any better, there are plenty of Southern kids down here who don’t say “sir” or “ma’am.” Your kids will be just great.

  20. slackermommy

    I’m trying to catch up with what’s going on with your son. I feel for you. It is so hard to see our kids go through things that we don’t understand or can explain. My eight year old was diagnosed with Tourette’s last summer and has some mild OCD, anxiety, and LMNOP. Just kidding about the last one. She has questionable ADHD. Getting a definitive diagnosis is not easy. I read here about caffeine. I’d never heard of that. I have never let her have caffeine because I’m afraid it will worsen her tics but I’m curious to how it would affect her. Her attention deficit and impulsivity has increased over the last couple months so I’m taking her to her neurologist this week. It may be time to put her on medication. Enough about me, I just want you to know that I think you’re doing a great job and all the support you are getting will really help you on this journey with your son.

  21. Heidi

    A really good visualization technique is to NOT focus your attention on scary scenarios!

  22. Cele

    I am in the “finding a wedding dress is easier” crowd. And if you have problems, I still have three.

    One from the seventies, very…er…ever short…oh and blue.

    One from the eighties, tea lenght…oh and blue.

    One from the nineties, black floral, off the shoulder, tea lenght, and absolutely gorgeous.

    But if you want white, sweetheart wear white.

  23. MomCat

    Mir, dear…get your thyroid checked. I’m a world-class worrier and you came up with more potentials than I would have. They say it has something to do with your thyroid sometimes.

    On the subject of looking good in a dress, one thing works great – Spanx Higher Power panties. Tons o’ spandex.

  24. jenn2


    I am freaking out!

  25. hillz

    ah, you travel like i do. Im always coming up with the things that can go wrong, if i take a trip to somewhere else within NZ im always convinced that either my bags, or me, will end up in canada or new york.

    and then i plan what im going to do if i end up in canada, it usually involves staying there for a while.

    im sure you, monkey and chickadee will be fine, you seem ready for any eventuality

  26. jenn2

    Okay, I am done freaking out about bugs and ceilings, I think.

    I actually had my dress made for my second wedding. It was less expensive than an actual dress and it fit like a dream.
    True, it was a hot pink halter dress, but that’s slightly less outrageous than the red sequined mini dress I wanted.

  27. Christina

    I guess that’s better then no visit at all, but oh so brief:(

  28. Kestralyn

    “Napping” huh? Hi Dad!!! ;-)

    Speaking of shopping — if you’re shopping for a nice dress that you’re just going to happen to get married in, it’ll be WAAAAAAAAAY easier than buying jeans. If, however, you make it into a “wedding dress” trip, it’ll be comparable to the jeans ;-)

    And I’m with Cele — got a gorgeous (this one is ivory) dress, worn once, that’s available. If I don’t have the silk shantung made into a hot suit first!

  29. Megan

    Jeans are way, way harder. My dress was easy- but I did not have anything super fancy and dresses are a lot easier to alter than jeans. At least in Arkansas.

    So. Dress. Way easier. Jeans shopping is one of the worst tortures of hell, I’m pretty sure. At least for those of us who have a butt that sticks out.

  30. DebR

    Maybe you could designate some of the obsessing about your trip to friends and blog readers.

    I’m already obsessing a little about a possible ice storm that might be coming our way in a couple of days, so if you want me to worry a little extra on your behalf about an ice storm ruining your trip, it’s not like it’s much extra bother. And I bet you could find other volunteers to worry about Northern manners vs. Southern manners, palmetto bugs, and so on. Just a thought. :-)

  31. Brigitte

    I’m the kooky anti-wedding girl, I would have been happy running to a J.P. at the town hall, but hubby wanted the church wedding! So I found a dress at Salvation Army and had it altered, spent less than $150. Of course, you may be a tad pickier than me about the dress!

  32. Amy-Go

    Breathe. Deeply. Please.

  33. Steff

    I heard JCrew has great affordable wedding attire!

  34. Aimee

    Generally the parts of the body you have to fit a dress too are somewhat less complicated than the parts you have to fit jeans to. Oh, and who doesn’t love “napping”?

  35. Sophie

    Your digression cracked me up. Yes, I too love to torture myself by worrying about such things. And don’t forget that the sky could fall down at any moment. Give me a ring when you come to GA. ;-D

  36. ishouldbeworking

    “Napping” is a great way to de-stress when you’re obsessed with things like houses, schools, ice storms and other assorted emergencies. ;)

  37. InterstellarLass

    I predict finding a dress will be easier than finding jeans.

    I love napping. My kids complain. I tell them ‘one day you’re going to want to take a nap and you can’t because you’re too old, so get it in now’. Napping is a beautiful thing.

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