Maybe I should’ve taken a nap

By Mir
January 8, 2007

Given that I had Chickadee home from school today (Day Three of Mystery Fever: Just like the other two days!), it was actually pretty productive around here. Work was completed. Dishes were washed. Exercise was… exercised.

Yes. I exercised. Day One of the New Regime.

The New Regime is brought to you by the letter S (for sloth) and the number 5 (how many pounds I gained over the holidays) and also the last few times I was sick and how a nagging little voice in the back of my mind may have suggested that I wouldn’t get sick so often if I was in better overall health.

I made sure Chickadee was all situated on the couch with something appropriate on television and enough juice, and I did my morning email reading and catching up on work, and then I announced that I was going upstairs to exercise for half an hour.

“You’re going upstairs to what?” she asked. Oh dear.

“To EXERCISE!” I declared. “On my elliptical trainer! Because I want to be healthy and I don’t get recess like you do to run around.”

“Your tilliptical…?” I sighed. Heavily. How had I gotten to this point?

“The big black thing with pedals.” She blinked at me. I sighed again. “And clothes hanging on it.” Recognition dawned on her face. The shame, it burned within me. I cannot think of another area in parenting where I fall so short on the whole role model thing. (Unless you are looking for a role model who sits at a desk for about twelve hours a day, in which case, I am totally your woman.)

Off I went to savor daytime television and boring, repetitive elliptical movement. Chickadee did not experience any sort of crisis while I was thusly engaged, and neither did I discover that I am really missing out by not watching television during the day. So that was all good.

After I rode half an hour to nowhere, I stretched for a bit, took a shower, and then returned downstairs to check on my daughter and… sit at my desk. I couldn’t help feeling that it may have been all for naught. But the idea is to actually get back into doing this every single day. I hear there are good and sound reasons to do so.

Like, that maybe my ass will shrink.

The whole thing was very inspiring. And this afternoon, Chickadee’s fever finally broke, which was CLEARLY a sign from the heavens that I am on the path to health and wellness, here. So after I took the kids down to their dad’s for dinner, I went grocery shopping and bought bags and bags of fruits and veggies.

I was feeling pretty healthy, indeed. Of course, when I got home and started putting things away, I realized that I needed to clean some things out of my fridge, first. Doing so uncovered some primordial ooze in the bottom of my crisper drawers. Now, on the one hand, that’s useful because nothing curbs your urge to eat than the sight of goo of unknown original near your food. (You’re welcome.) On the other hand, it’s hard to feel healthy and virtuous while scrubbing your really disgusting fridge.

Also, if you’re the person who keeps coming into my house and spilling something in the back of the refrigerator so that substances are pooling UNDERNEATH the crisper drawers, somehow, even though I’ve never actually seen a spill on any of the shelves, please stop it. It’s not only gross, it’s freaking me out. (Phantom spills! It’s the revenge of the chocolate, pissed that I have given it up for snow peas!)

The health, it is addling my thought processes. I may need to return to the couch with a bowl of ice cream just to clear my head.


  1. Muirnait

    I did the elliptical at the gym for the first time today – when you’re not used to it it’s a rather disconcerting movement. Congrats on your decision, and best of luck with a healthier lifestyle!

  2. Cele

    I can see my elliptical today, because I ironed yesterday. Does that mean I have to use it now?

  3. carrien

    REmember the days when you sat and pined and thought to yourself, “If only I had an elliptical trainer I would be able to loose all of this weight and look like Angelina Jolie only way shorter.” Now you have one, and now you are faced with the realization that the problem isn’t lack of excercise equipment…OH wait, I’m talking about me. I just gave myself another brilliant excuse though, who has time to excercise with a newborn?

  4. Kendra

    Way to go, Mir!
    I’m on day 3 of treadmill duty…I figure with 2 kids, full time job and grad school (albeit 1 class a semester), why not toss in a half hour on the treadmill in between hitting the grocery store and making dinner? HOnestly, it’s the only way I’ll get it done–by heaping more responsibility on my bread plate!
    I figure a smaller behind is always a good thing, it’s a stress reliever (meaning if I binge on cookie dough later, I won’t stress as much about it), and the kids look at it as a reason to “exercise” too. Seeing my 2 and 4 year old in downward dog is funny…

  5. Sara

    I too have been a citizen of THE REGIME for lo these many days (okay, seven. Seven days. But still–a week!!). I have found that hitting the sidewalk for 30 minutes with my ipod on is not only reducing my waistline and busting some stress, it’s the only time I get to listen to what I want to because my children have totally taken over the sound system in the van. Someday, I vow to take the radio and cd player back, but I’m biding my time. I’m waiting until they are teenagers with their friends in the car, at which time I will play whatever music I wish (preferably classical or really bad 80’s music), roll down the windows, crank the volume and sing very loudly.
    Good work with the exercising, Mir. Keep it up.

  6. tori

    Exercise is great, but don’t forget that ice cream has calcium in it…a much needed nutrient.

  7. JayMonster

    We banned (almost) all junk food from the house for the month of January. This is our second year doing so. It is amazing how little some things are actually missed after the month is over.

    Some things disappeared last January never to return, and I willing to wager that a few more may drop from the list as well.

    Snacks such as Ice Cream have been replaced with Fresh Strawberries with Low Fat Cool Whip (not fat free which has a ton of sugar), or Fresh Cut peach Pieces marinated in Red Wine (OK, that one is only for me).

    I haven’t ventured back towards the home exercise yet, but at least even now after just 10 days of being (mostly) junk free, I feel like I COULD do it… without major harm.

  8. Susan

    I cleaned the fridge last week. I found dust under our crispers.

    How in the hell is there DUST in my REFRIGERATOR? HOW???

  9. chris

    I am on Day Nine of Operation Treadmill.

    And I hate it a little less everyday, which I guess is good.

  10. shannon

    I am on the mission to not only get my booty back on the mountain, but my husband’s and our dog’s as well. Two years ago he (the husband) suggested we have the biggest loser competition in our house. It was great, we both lost about 30+ lbs. This holiday season I put 8 back on…EIGHT! I’ve, thus far, gotten two off, but really need to get hiking again. It’s the only exercise I love because when we go, Josie (the dog) blisses out and for me, there is nothing lovlier than seeing that huge smile on my diggity dogs face! It helps me forget I’m actually exercising!

  11. Liise

    *grumbling about size 4 asses and size 12 asses*

  12. jennie

    re: Kendra’s comment about her kids in downward dog. My 2 and 4 year old also do yoga with me in the morning. My 2 year old mostly just rolls around on the ground… but my 4 year old is hillarious! He continually makes up his own yoga positions, such as: the rocketship, the dinosaur, and the transformer poses. But by far the funniest was after learning downward dog and upward dog… he created his own wonky twisted pushup type movement which he named the “upper-downer dog”. After seeing my son do this “pose” for a few moment it was clear just how badly that dog must have needed rehab…lol.

  13. Heidi

    Peaches marinated in red wine? Oooohhhhh…

    The elliptical can be lots more fun when you listen to music with a hot beat. Or if you can watch something you’ve recorded that you really want to want to watch, instead of daytime schlock.

  14. David

    So, um, you need a place to dispose of those, maybe? *eyes imagined bag of chocolate kisses in the fridge door* :-)

  15. Amy

    I just purchased an elliptical, and hopefully it will arrive soon, for I am ready for the exercise. I’ve been running three times this month, so far, and am due to start yoga-ing very soon, as well. The healthy eating is not going as well – but I haven’t yet been inspired to clean the fridge, so maybe that would help. My biggest achievement in 2007 so far? I have flossed every day for the past three days. I should get a medal or something.

    good for everyone who is regiming!

  16. Kestralyn

    I’m doing the combination Divorce and Weight Watchers cabinet/fridge cleaning these days. There’s nothing quite so satisfying as grabbing something high-calorie that I don’t like and saying, “This doesn’t need to be here anymore!” and chucking it in the garbage ;-)

    I’m not doing a massive all at once… I figure I’ll spread it out and get that little frission more than once ;-)

  17. Kym

    Good for you…

  18. Brigitte

    Ewww, I also get phantom spills unter the crisper drawers . . . maybe a fridge-scientist can explain it for us.

  19. Carrie

    My son got sent home from school two days in a row (yesterday and Monday) with some low grade fever that comes and goes without explanation at differen ttimes of the day and that doesnt affect his ability to function at all. He’s getting over a sinus infection so he’s already on antibiotics. It’s not like I could do much else with him at home *sigh* I bought a stepper thing for the living room behind the couch – so that I can walk and watch tv instead of sitting on the couch and watching tv. Ingenious, no? The bets are already flying about how long that will last.

  20. Jenifer

    When i moved out of my last apartment there was a “phantom spill” under the crisper…. Green Kool-Aid…. I had to scrape it’s sticky grossness off with a putty knife then drown thge residue in boiling water to get it clean!!

  21. dorothy

    Just getting caught up. I love the elliptical thing, even if it makes my legs feel kind of like jello when I get off.

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