I miss you. Although I try to soldier on without you, with each passing day I feel your absence ever more keenly. There is a hole in my life I am left trying to fill. Try though I might to find your equal, the reality is that you are unique and irreplaceable.
Please come back before I cook again.
It’s true that if I fed Monkey nothing but cheese he’d probably forget all about you in short order. But, silly me, I keep trying this “balanced diet” thing. And I don’t know if I can do it without you.
This afternoon I whipped up chocolate chip cookies without you, and to my surprise they passed muster not only with my children, but with two additional children who’d come to play. The incident buoyed me, and I confess; I got cocky. “Ha!” I’d thought, “I don’t need you anymore! I can make it on my own!”
And that’s when it all went horribly awry.
The next thing I knew, I was boiling Quinoa pasta for dinner. First of all, did you know that it’s pronounced “keen-wa” rather than “quinn-oh-ah?” How pretentious. That should’ve been my first clue that it was an imposter of the highest order.
And the sauce. Lord, the sauce. Could I stick to just tomato? No, I was heady with success and and, apparently, delusional. I added broccoli, and then I threw the entire thing into the blender. Now, you and I both know that broccoli with pasta can be awesome. But pureed? For people over the age of 1? What was I thinking?
So then I had horrible imitation pasta topped with lumpy, grainy, questionably- flavored sauce.
Without you to save the day, I did the only thing I could. I topped it all off with liberal handfuls of cheese.
All four children ate it all up. I heaved a sigh of relief. I also didn’t eat any, because I thought it tasted horrible.
Do you see? DO YOU? I am nothing without you, and I can’t keep up this charade much longer. Please come back into our lives. And bring linguine.
P.S. If you must continue to stay away, I shall try to respect that. But I’m putting the blender back into the cabinet for my own protection.
P.P.S. Happy Love Thursday.