“Ri-ice, and shi-ine, and give God your gluten, gluten. . . “

Oddly enough, listening to me sing that this morning did not make Monkey any more amenable to the delicious gluten-free organic brown rice and twigs cereal I set before him.

Which makes NO sense at all, because that is TOTALLY a catchy tune and should send people everywhere running for the organic grain-like food substitutes. Mmmmmm, wood pulp! It’s what’s for breakfast!

Yesterday I went to the health food store and spent some quality time with a lovely young vegan who did a very nice job of squelching her urge to visibly recoil when I listed pop-tarts and Froot Loops amongst Monkey’s favorite—but now forbidden— foods. I wish I could say I did the same when I picked up a box of cereal that cost $7.50. It was made with only the highest-quality grains and gold dust.

I walked out of there with a single bag of groceries. Which cost $36.

Monkey rejected this morning’s offering (well, he allowed me to force three spoonsful down his gullet, but complained the entire time) while Chickadee and I finished our bowls. Of course, she and I happen to know that anything tastes good with enough brown sugar and cream. Monkey still needs to be assimilated. And taught to appreciate my fine musical stylings.


  1. Jenn

    $7.50? I think I just died a little. I really, really hope that this works. But! Maybe you can be the one who develops gluten-free toaster pastries! Think of the fame and fortune!

  2. Velma

    What’s that thing Mary Poppins always sings? “5 spoooooon-fuls of brown sugar makes the medicine go doooooooooown?”

  3. stayathomemotherdom

    Who would have thought you could sing those words to that song?

    Damm them for not making gluten free poptarts!

  4. Sara

    You had me at the title of this post. I sing this song loudly to my children in the mornings (okay, not the rice and gluten version)much to their chagrin. It made me laugh and snort diet coke and darn if those little carbonated bubbles don’t mess with your sinuses!
    Next time you shop at the health food store, be sure to bring armed guards and an armored truck. That’s some dough(gluten-free, I’m sure) to pay!

  5. Her Bad Mother

    Even shredded cardboard – which is a mite tastier than some of those twig-based cereals – tastes good with brown sugar and cream. Mmm. Brown sugar and cream.

  6. Mary P

    Ha! I loved that song as a kid, and now, here it is, stuck in my head once more. “Get those children out of the muddy, muddy…” I’m not so sure I love it as much as I did when I was seven, but it sure is a catchy little ditty. :-)

  7. Genevieve

    My friend whose daughter has celiac recommends the Envirokidz “Panda” peanut butter cereal they have at Whole Foods. She says it’s really tasty.

    There’s a recipe for gluten-free toaster pastries: http://www.missroben.com/id1152.html

    Don’t know if it’s any good, but could be worth a try . . .

  8. Anita

    I have celiac disease (back when I was a kid my mom sent rice cakes with PB&J in my lunches, ugh) and also recommend the Envirokidz cereal and bars.

    Here in Madison, WI there is a bakery called Silly Yak (http://www.sillyyakbakery.com/index3.html) that specializes in gluten-free products and, happily, they ship their products. I HIGHLY recommend their pizza crusts. Amy’s makes a gluten-free frozen pizza and they are available in most grocery stores. Amy’s frozen mac & cheese is also a nice indulgence. The boxed Amy’s mac & cheese is godawful.

    I find that corn tortillas are an adequate bread substitute in a lot of situations and they’re cheap. Gluten-free bread tends to be too crumbly for sandwiches. Lettuce is a good substitute for a hamburger bun.

    Tinkyada rice pasta is, by far, the best. My oldest daughter prefers it to regular pasta and she doesn’t have CD.

    Overall I buy very few GF products and keep it simple. When I find myself wishing I could have a Pop Tart I go look at the nutrition label (200 calories, 35 carbs) and console myself that way. ;)

  9. Cele

    You always face the world with a song. Thank you for the inspiration. good luck on the non-gluten life existance.

  10. carson

    Oddly enough, I’m considering gluten-free for my DD (I’ve commented about her, she seems to capture All! At! Once! the most challenging aspects of Chickadee & Monkey. Of course, she’s not as important to you as Chickadee and Monkey are to me, considering that I’m your Number One Fan, in a very NON Annie Wilkes sort of way.) I’ve thanked the genetic lottery many times that we didn’t have allergies, not nutty, not dairy, not wheaty. And now I’m going to choose it on the hope?


    I hope this works. For both of us. (And now I must rinse.)

  11. carson

    Oh, forgot to say that in our house, everything tastes better with garlic. But not usually for breakfast, so I think you’re right about the brown sugar & cream.

  12. Jessie

    Definately the Peanut Butter Panda Puffs. Also the Envirokids Cocoa cereal. I don’t remember the exact name but it is just like Cocoa Puffs. It even turns your milk to chocolate milk!

  13. pavegurl

    “Children of the Lord!”

    … .damn you, Mir. I don’t care how pretty you are, I don’t want this song in my head all day!

  14. MMM

    $7.50 a box? What’s it called? Crack Rock Crunchies?

  15. Trivial Mom

    Fruity/Cocoa Pebbles are GF, if Monkey will eat those . . . personally I think their gross, but some kids (and my husband) love them.

  16. MMM

    Trivial Mom! Seriously they are? I didn’t know that. Fruity Pebbles are the equivelant of smashed up Pop-tarts! (wink)

  17. Trivial Mom

    Seriously. My dad (who has Celiac’s) was at my house trying to find something to eat, and he read every box in my cupboard to no avail. He picked up the fruity pebbles to make fun of the sugar content (which actually isn’t too bad either, my dad is a diabetic too), read the ingredients, and then ended up having a couple bowls for dinner.

  18. hollygee

    Make sure that the Pebbles don’t have malt as a flavoring – that’s barley and is gluten. I’ve just begun getting Very Expensive gf rolled oats from Canada and I love them. I haven’t had oatmeal for almost 10 years and I treasure each morning’s bowl. And I haven’t even made oatmeal cookies yet!

  19. MMM

    Trivial Mom–that is too funny! Good for him, though, finding a sweet treat that he can enjoy! I LOVE Fruity Pebbles!

  20. Elizabeth

    You know that blog title is pure genius, right? And now I’ve got “you’ve got to RISE and SHINE and (*Clap*) give God your glory glory” stuck in my head, thankyouverymuch.

    I was at the supermarket today, and right next to the Bisquick was boxes of gluten free baking mix. I didn’t check the prices, but it has to be cheaper than the health food store.

  21. Tracey

    If you find that you don’t have to go down the GF road specifically, you might find that avoiding the over-processed cereals might help the .. ah.. constipation issues. My youngest always had constipation problems (though she never managed to block a toilet, thank heavens…) I finally cut out stuff like rice bubbles, nutrigrain, and I stick to wholegrain cereals. (Probably not worth mentioning brands as they’ll be different here to what you have.) But it made an almost instantaneous difference. And all it takes is a weekend visit somewhere and a couple of breakfasts of rice bubbles, and she has the problem again. (She is terrible at drinking enough water every day, and I think this also makes her prone to it.)

    Not that I know a thing, of course, but I am also wondering if trying to suddenly go GF is too big a step all at once. I know a couple of mums here who got big changes in their kids’ behaviour and health from just eliminating a few preservatives (think it might have been 282 – um.. here’s a link http://www.fedupwithfoodadditives.info/factsheets/Fact282.htm
    and, this one… http://www.newconnexion.net/article/03-03/propionate.html ) This woman I was talking to couldn’t believe the change.

    Anyway, just some thoughts… I can’t imagine how hard it would be trying to get my kids to suddenly switch to GF – or myself for that matter.

  22. tori

    I’m sure you have already, but you should look at the celiac website (I think http://www.celiac.com) for their awesome recipes. I started looking the other day in case my son’s biopsies show he has it, and some of them look really yummy. I like to cook, but am not looking forward to HAVING to cook in order for my son to be healthy!

    Your food looked so good! I love being silly with my kids food and they seem to love it too…except when I made my 8 year old heart shaped sandwiches for her lunch box. Apparently that is “way too babyish for school”. Now I know, heart shaped sandwiches? Only at home.

  23. rachel

    totally missed the going gluten free post somehow. that’s my little pet topic. email me for way more information than you’d ever need on eating gf while still being tasty.

    my kids love the Envirokids cereals, and my husband (only one who eats gluten) agrees that they’re good. The new Dora Stars normal-people cereal is gf too.

    We eat gluten-free but with lots of sugar. :) no pop-tarts substitute yet, but we go through an unholy butt ton of Glutino pretzels and lemon wafer cookies. Never mind the meringues and the Mary Janes.

  24. Muirnait

    I guess plain ol’ Rice Krispies have gluten? Good luck with all this!

  25. Gillian

    You have to sing this song. (you can rent a drum set)

    Mir: Resistors are futile.
    Monkey: Somebody set up us the bomb.
    Mir: All your base are belong to us!

  26. daring one

    I seriously used to lose it when my mom sang to wake us up in the morning. I can not wait until I actually get to wake my kids up and sing to them while they cry and put their pillows over their ears.

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