Weekend recap — ten true or false

I am home! Again! Jiggedy jig, or something. (Clearly I am thrilled to be back.)

You know, they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I say that absence makes for a pretty fantastic weekend here and there, but the rest of the time it still just pretty much sucks. My version isn’t as pithy, but it’s more true.

Many exciting, harrowing, and thrilling things happened this weekend. I thought it would be fun to share some of the highlights and maybe make up a thing or two, in the process, to encourage reader participation. Your job is to read on and determine which of these things actually happened, and which are fabrications. They (although perhaps not the same THEY as the idiots who think absence is dandy) say that truth is stranger than fiction, and I agree.

Ready? Read through the list and see if you can figure out which items are true and which are false.

1) Deflowered. I went to Sonic for the first time ever and got a cherry limeade that simultaneously made my tastebuds sing and sent my brain into overdrive with the gazillion calories of pure sugar. It was the most wondrous beverage I’ve ever had. I think it’s a very good thing that there aren’t any Sonics up here.

2) Bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do? While eating lunch on the UGA campus on Saturday, Otto and I enjoyed the varied and interesting sights of a college town on game day: People from all walks of life clad in red and black, latecomers to the game desperately seeking parking, girls with pompoms… and a couple being busted for indecent exposure.

3) Triple dog dare. On Friday night, Otto dared me to marry him. Right then. Like, “I’ll look up a justice of the peace in the phone book RIGHT NOW.” (So. Romantic.) I declined.

4) Dude, what did that chicken ever do to YOU? Sunday was spent preparing for, throwing, and cleaning up after a big barbecue (which was a blast). One of Otto’s friends came over early to set up his grill and cook a couple of chickens… which he did by shoving beer cans up their nether regions, placing them on rack stands, and finally stuffing onions into their neck cavities before placing them on the grill. Where they stared at me, a desperate plea for help readily apparent on their onions (which was where their heads should’ve been).

5) It doesn’t mean the president isn’t a warmongering ass, though. Twice while in the atrium of the Atlanta airport today, a group of servicemen (being shipped out, by all appearances) came through and received STANDING OVATIONS from the other passengers. Which actually made me teary. And I have a small, shrivelled stone of a heart.

6) I think she’s just avoiding me. I was supposed to see Joshilyn on this trip, but she is working too hard and was sick and stressed and miserable, so we did not manage to coordinate it. But! She assures me that if I still like her and she’s still alive when she’s done killing herself with this new book, I may get to see her then.

7) A taste of the country life. I took a ride in an old rusty pick-up truck that took three tries to get started, periodically squealed, and had a bed full of rain water. We filled it with pine straw and prayed the truck would start again for the return trip.

8) I would, but I just peed myself. Someone I met at the barbecue and with whom I had exchanged about a dozen words offered to let me drive his car. This car. I really, really, REALLY wanted to. But I declined.

9) Deep breaths. So, you might recall that on my last trip to Georgia, I met my first palmetto bug in the bathroom early one morning. I’m pleased to report that the bathrooms were all clear, this time. But one dive-bombed me in the kitchen while I was washing dishes one night. (In the case of the palmetto bug, absence definitely DOES make the heart grow fonder. When they are absent, my heart is a lot happier.)

10) He knows me well. Otto was kind enough to grab my purse and suitcase as we were getting ready to head to the airport today. I discovered that he’d filled a ziploc bag with assorted M&Ms and Hershey’s miniatures and stuffed it in my purse. Now THAT is romantic.

That’s all the news that’s fit to print, and some that’s not. Get guessing.


  1. Susan

    I absolutely cannot believe that you’ve NEVER had a cherry limeade. That MUST be a fiction. At least I hope it is.

  2. Patricia

    I’m thinking #3 is false. I think Otto didn’t dare you, he asked in a romantic sort of way and you TOTALLY said yes and will be setting a date soon! Of course the current debate is who is moving where? (That and what dress I’ll be wearing to the wedding — along with how cheap I get shoes (good shoes) because if I can’t stand up and toast you with “Mir & Otto, on this most blessed day of your joyful union, I just had to share with you that I paid $12 for these Cole-Haans and my dress was like $15 on clearance. So thank you for having an event that I could wear these nice clothes.”
    Oh, that and you drove the car!

  3. Cele

    hmmmm, I’ve not clue which were false. But could your please get a picture of a palmetto bug, because my Oregon ass has no clue what they look like. Should I be happy about that?

    Hey, I’ve never had a cherry limeade either. :(

  4. Karen Rani

    Beer can chicken!! Woot! (Daren makes that all the time)

    Otto like totally asked you and you said yes.

    You simply must elaborate on that one.

    Otto: don’t forget – you breaka her heart, I breaka you face.

    Love Karen

  5. Bob

    If I had to roll the dice, I would say numbers 6 and 9 are false. 6, because I can’t believe that you two got w/in 100 miles of each other and couldn’t find an hour to meet. 9, because if you had been dive-bombed by a flying roach I would have heard you up here in KC. Oh, and maybe 8, because I saw pictures of you in some jazzy sportscar at blogher.

    BTW – Sonic rocks.

  6. Heather Cook

    There is far too much declining going on here!

  7. Carol

    Hmmm…I think all of them are true except maybe #7, 8 & 10. Of course, all of them are absolutely plausible so it was hard to choose any that might be fictional!

  8. Dawn

    None are false…..ALL true!!!

  9. dad

    Welcome home.
    Sounds like a great weekend.
    I’m your father. I can’t handle details. Just call me with the facts.

  10. DebR

    I think they’re all true!

  11. And Baby Makes Four

    Ditto what Patricia said – and if not, Otto, come on and propose right next time…pretty, pretty please?? The second Mir posts it, there will be a simultaneous squee of joy heard all over the world from ladies hunched over their computers…

  12. Krisco

    I think 7 and 9 are false. Because – old trucks in GA? Diving palmetto bugs? Cliche. You just had to fill out your list. Naked pompom girls, standing ovations in airports, spur of the moment proposals – so not cliche as to be likely.

  13. Heather

    I really want the deets on the proposal bit!

  14. Gillian

    I am stuck on ‘pine straw’. Pine needles I know, though if you mess with them you get to be friends with pine sap and are never completely whole again. Perhaps you meant Pine Sol and you were attempting to clean the pick up bed with a big, ol, country mop. Nope. Totally stuck.

    I can believe it about Joshilyn because she is in the throes of novel and was SO WRONGLY ARRESTED that it is unimaginable and had a book signing and we all know you just wanted to be alone with Otto putting beer cans in chickens nether regions in order to repave his driveway anyway.

    I thank you for the disclaimer about our egregious president, the cockles of my heart are cozy.

    I feel doubtful about UGA’s sporting event being marred with nekkid folks. It is game night — tasteless hats encouraged but no nekkid stuff.

  15. David

    I’m gonna say #3 is false because you SO did not decline. But other than that, it’s all true. Hey, if I guessed right do I get a Swiffer prize pack or something? *ducking*

  16. susie

    I WENT to the University of Georgia, so I happen to know that #2 is probably 100% true.

  17. chris

    I am going to guess that you really did see Joshilyn.

  18. Ben

    I was absolutely thrilled to see you start your list with Cherry Limeade (PLEASE tell me you bought the “route 44” and did NOT share it with anyone, that’s how to do it right), but then I see that you had beer butt chicken!

    That is awesome!!!! If you get enough of the little guys on the grill, it looks like a choir. The trick, of course, is to consume a LOT of beer before, during, and after.

    (see, I totally don’t believe the JP thing, cuz Otto is the kinda guy that would have to go and ask your dad first, and your dad seems WAY too calm for that to have happened)

  19. Liz

    I think #6 is false because I _think_ you had mentioned before that you’d be in Athens and wouldn’t be able to see her. Also, I wanted to go hear her at the Decatur Book Festival on Saturday afternoon, but I was taking my 2-year-old to a birthday party. (I went to the festival that morning, but didn’t see Joshilyn.)

  20. tori

    I am so hoping number 10 is true! A guy like that is a keeper for sure!

  21. Amy-Go

    True – 1,3,4,5,6,9,10.
    False – 2,7,8.
    I dunno. Just ’cause. ;)

  22. Aimee

    I’ll say that 6 and 8 are false (not that you really saw Joshilyn, but I don’t think you were supposed to) and all the rest are true.

  23. Sophie

    Palmetto bugs in Georgia? I’ve lived in GA all of my life, except for two years in FLA. Now, that’s where the nasty palmetto bugs are! So, unless Otto lives below the gnat line or on the coast, the palmetto bug one must be false. Or, you misidentified a very large cockroach — because they can grow very large in GA. The palmetto bugs are the ones that can twist their ugly little heads to track you as you circle them, looking for a way to squash their ugly selves. THEN, they fly at you in a direct attack. YUCK.

    Also, #3 doesn’t sound like something Otto would do, in the way you have described him in this blog. He sounds too practical for that. But the UGA item positioned next to “triple DOG dare” is a great pun! OK, so what really happened?

  24. shannon

    i agree with deb…all are true. :) glad you had a fantastic time.

  25. udge

    8 is false, you did drive the car – and loved it. All the rest are true.

  26. udge

    Actually, no, 3 is also false. Neither cool enough nor planned-in-advance enough for Otto. So 3 and 8 then!

  27. joaaanna

    I couldn’t get past that you had never had a Sonic cherry limeade…. That’s just unbelievable.

  28. Susan

    I’m guessing #1 is false.

    And as far as #10, if you don’t marry him, you’re nuts. Anyone who does things like that is a true keeper. (I know; I’m married to one of those candy-surprising types myself.)

  29. Christina

    Ummm, let’s say that # 1 and #3 are false, rest are true. Just a guess, but sonics are everywhere these days!

  30. rachel

    I’m betting #1 is true – there are no sonics north of PA, which pisses me off mightily – cherry limeades are the nectar of the gods. But then, if I were showing you a good time, I’d have brought you to a Sonic the first visit.

    I’m guessing # 3 and 8 are false. just ‘cos.

  31. MMM

    You’re so gonna post on the true and false, right?!?!?! Inquiring minds HAVE TO KNOW!!! :)

  32. MzAriez

    I’m still eeeewwwwwwing over the bug.

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