Oh, right, life goes on

By Mir
July 11, 2006

I am one to sit around and PONDER, because I am fond of the pondering. And the talking. I would be happy to talk while I ponder, or perhaps talk after I’ve pondered, or even talk BEFORE I ponder (just to warm up!), but if I could sign up for just pondering and talking? I’d so be there.

So on the one hand, today was awesome, both because of my natural propensity for the pondering and the fact that my phone rang off the hook all day long with people who knew I’d had a ponderous weekend and wanted to know what I’d concluded. This resulted in talking, which led to more pondering!

On the other hand, there were things to be done and children to be dealt with and a marked lack of sleep. Damn life getting in the way.

Have you ever wondered how much your kids would like to get up at 6:15 to come home and what a fabulous day they might have after a rude early-morning awakening? Wonder no more. They will be at turns snarly and frenetic, finally collapsing in front of the television and insisting—even as their eyes are crossing—that they are most certainly NOT TIRED.

As a bonus, the girl child may cry about every little thing, and the boy child may decide it is the height of hilarity to call you by your first name. This results in interactions such as:

Chickadee: But I don’t WANT THIS FOR LUNCH…
Me: You like that, silly.
Chickadee: No I DON’T…. [sobs piteously]
Monkey: MIIIIIIIIIIIR, may I have some milk, please?
Me: Excuse me?
Monkey: I said, MIIIIIR! MAY I! HAVE SOME! MILK! [laughs maniacally]
Chickadee: [cries louder]
Me: Okay, seriously? You are both grounded forever.

In sorting through my mail, this morning, I discovered that it’s already coming up on six months since boobpusapalooza, which means it’s time for a follow-up. My surgeon’s office was kind enough to go ahead and schedule both a mammogram and a consultation for me. Wasn’t that nice? They just set it all up and sent me the paperwork.

So, um, I’m supposed to have the mammogram on my birthday next month.

“Happy 35th birthday! To celebrate, let’s put your boobs into a vice!”

Awesome. I can hardly wait. In fact, for Christmas this year I’m thinking about hiring someone to shove bamboo under my fingernails.

And there was other stuff, I don’t know. I fit most of it in inbetween the talking and the pondering.

For those of you demanding more details about my weekend: Go to hell. HAHAHA! Just kidding. Let’s see. Pertinent facts:

  • I did NOT kill that palmetto bug. I squealed for rescue, which came in the form of a bottle of 409 and a braver hand than mine to scoop the stunned creature into the toilet. (Directly thereafter, I said something about never eating turnips again, and later I said math was hard. Not sure why.)
  • Who? Remember this? (We won’t continue calling him Person, I think. We’ll call him… Otto. Maybe someday I’ll tell you why.)
  • What? Well… a lot of talking, and then a weekend. With a lot more talking.
  • Why? I spent a lot of time (with the pondering, and the talking, again) puzzling over this, myself. In the end, Joshilyn was much more succinct than I’ve ever managed to be: “Because boys smell good.” Also because Otto smells particularly good, and he seems to have gotten a lot smarter in the last few years (oh am I going to get into trouble for saying that), and, um, he doesn’t seem to get tired of listening to me talk. And really, how many men like that do you suppose exist in this world? Precious few.
  • Where? Those of you who guessed Athens, GA win a gold star.
  • How? Well, there was this airplane…. (Look, you don’t have to be a genius to figure out that I’m here and he’s there and it’s not exactly a short walk between. Still working on figuring out the How.)

Hopefully that clears up any questions. Or, um, something. Hey, look over there! Something SHINY!

I really need to get to sleep. So that I can get up and think some more tomorrow.


  1. Patricia

    Yippie — a boy is *SO* much better than my guess. Not that Joshilyn won’t be super-duper cool to hang with for a weekend — I’m just saying, if boys smell better and all.

    Enjoy the pondering — and perhaps I should suggest NOT overthinking? Who am I kidding — nevermind — think it to death.

  2. Vicky

    I knew it was a man!

    …but had a lot of trouble with the location part, as being up here in the Great White North we’re more likely to find a moose in our bathroom than a giant bug.

    Hope he smelled wonderfully good…the man, not the bug :)

  3. cactus jelly

    un-lurking to say – good for you, girl:)

    thinking things to death is my middle name…sucks the big one, so have at it but be gentle on yourself!

    …and wazup with the sassy kids lately? our almost five year old threw a monster tantrum today that made me bang my head against the outside of our house. and it hurt! hang tough…solidarity, dude!

  4. sumo

    So have you figured out what was in that bucket, or is that something you won’t really know until a few months have passed?

    I’m very glad you decided to open that door!

  5. Bob

    Yay! I was surprised to learn that the “fact-finding” was relationship mending – and so much the better. Considering the history you have with him maybe the distance can be viewed as a good thing. It’ll force you to take things slowly allowing the trust you once had a better opportunity to reestablish itself. Or, it’ll drive you crazy him not being within ready access. Take your pick. Considering your recent history with men I’ll wait on the congratulations and merely extend a tentative, muted, non-committal woot.

  6. lastewie

    YAY! On so many levels!

    Yay that things are moving to a place that you like, yay for mending fences, yay for boys smelling good, and yay for you!

    Lot’s o’ exclamation points, but that’s because of the coffee.

    Athens, GA is where I went two weekends ago to meet up with my first blog-facilitated friend. It is very, very cool.

    Happy for you…

  7. chris

    Hurray for you… and, um, Otto.

    But, BOO to palmetto bugs..shudder.

  8. Randi

    Otto…I keep thinking what could be shortened to Otto! Sounds like you had a good weekend and that’s good! It’s got to be difficult to be in a position like that, re-connecting with someone from a long time ago.

  9. ben


    Bwahahaha, I think I know why, a little bit, but all I could think of was the little guy from the Airplane movie…


    (now THAT is a mental image to start my morning)

    Congrats, Mir, truly. Palmetto bugs may rule the earth someday, but they don’t smell nearly as nice as boys, so y’all did the right thing with that one.

  10. Nothing But Bonfires

    I’m sorry, I keep picturing Otto in lederhosen and it’s getting in the way of the REAL mental image I want to paint of him. And also now I keep thinking that since he’s in lederhosen, mmmm, he must smell of LEATHER. Because leather smells good.

  11. Aimee

    That’s always the challenge, to strike a balance between all of the PONDERING and the actual DOING. I think it’s great that you took that leap, and I wish you every happiness. And “Otto” had better be good to you, or he’ll have all of us to answer to. ;)

  12. jonniker

    I pictured Otto as in Otto Titsling, which is almost as bad as lederhosen.

  13. Carolie

    I keep picturing Otto from The Simpsons. Sad commentary on where my brain is these days!

    Shame you aren’t the hero I thought you were with the bug, but congrats that you had someone else to be the hero!

    My sympathies on having to have a birthday boob squishing. Unless your boobs are particularly degenerate though, you’ll probably have them in a vise, not a vice.

    Hee hee hee!

  14. Shash

    I keep thinking of Otto from A Fish Called Wanda :)

    I loves me some Kevin Kline….that Pheobe is a lucky gal!

    Glad you had a good weekend!


  15. Amy-Go

    I am very very pleased for you. Enthusiastic, uninhibited, joy-filled WOOT!! from Kansas City.

    ANd the boob-squishing? Methinks I would reschedule. ;)

  16. ishouldbeworking

    Another WHOOT from the midwest, here! You opened the door, hopefully nothing falls on you but happiness.

  17. Susan

    My god you are YOUNG. Or maybe it’s just he haircut.

    And YAY for you! And ICK for the palmetto bug!

  18. Cele

    Oh wow, look at that smile 8)

    poor bug, it was just a bug.

    As for pay by the squish exrays, sorry girlfriend.

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