… tag me twice, and I start feeling guilty and actually succumb.
Of course, I’m incredibly late to the party. But now that you know six weird or interesting or bizarre or furry (okay; maybe not furry, but I was running out of adjectives) things about every other blogger out there, it’s time for me to step up. Wacky Mommy tagged me and then Holly tagged me and now I just wish I was more interesting.
*shuffling feet, clearing throat*
Okay. Presenting, six things you didn’t know about me and probably didn’t need or want to know but I am now telling you so act interested or at least just smile and nod!
1) As a young child–probably younger than my kids are now–I had an unidentified mass of… ummm… growths on top of one of my feet. My parents took me to a series of doctors’ appointments and I’m not sure that it was ever even diagnosed as anything other than “lumpy foot.” It didn’t hurt, it wasn’t discolored; it was just raised and ridged and weird. Eventually some doctor gave us special tape to put on it every night. I remember thinking it was an awful lot of hoopla over nothing. So my foot was lumpy! Big deal! (My foot is no longer lumpy. I don’t remember when it resolved, but my shoes are all quite grateful.)
2) I pull clothes off the hangers in my closet in such a way that the hangers are left on the rod, but completely askew. The bottom of the hanger is then an excellent hypotenuse for a triangle formed by the floor and the wall. I never noticed this or was bothered by it until I got married and my husband discovered that it never failed to crack me up when he would go into HIS closet and say, “Oh, I want it to look more like YOUR closet in here!” and start tilting all of the empty hangers up into the air.
3) I love popsicles but even the THOUGHT of my teeth closing down on a wooden popsicle stick makes my skin crawl with dread and my gag reflex go on alert. It’s worse than nails on a chalkboard. My teeth on a popsicle stick… UGH… I have to go lie down, now that I talked about that.
4) Here’s one that only my mom knows: When I wanted to start shaving my legs, at about age 11, my mom was afraid I would cut myself with a razor and okayed Nair, instead. Fine. I closed myself in the bathroom, read the instructions, and went about applying it to my legs. I think I must’ve started with my thighs and worked down to my calves, resulting in some leaning over during application. When it was time to rinse, I noticed that I’d gotten some on my panties. Oh well! I’ll just take them off… and half of my pubic hair with them. At first I was horrified. Then I couldn’t stop laughing. My first freaky pube-do! At 11! Do you think it was an omen?
5) I skipped so many days of gym my freshman year of high school, I FAILED. And had to take double blocks of gym as a sophomore. In my defense, they wanted us to swim in the green and murky pool (first problem) with only about 5 minutes to shower and dress afterwards (second problem). So, I claimed to have my period as many days as I thought I could reasonably appear credible and skipped most of the others. Whoops.
6) I derive an inordinate amount of glee from fresh linens. I am never happier than when I have just put fresh sheets on all the beds and given everyone fresh towels. For this reason–despite the number of television undercover investigation news shows featuring black lights that reveal semen-marinated bedspreads–I love staying in hotels. The sheets and towels are always newly laundered and I didn’t have to do any laundry! It’s a little slice of heaven on earth! Plus, I always pull the bedspread down all the way and let it fall onto the floor. Just in case.
There you have it. I feel so much closer to you all, now. In fact, I offer you a bonus tidit:
7) I got some good news today. I celebrated by buying shoes (on clearance). (Then I celebrated buying the shoes by buying a cheese grater to use on my feet, which didn’t feel all that celebratory, although it has a purple handle, which–I assume–is to distract me from the fact that I am USING A CHEESE GRATER ON MY FEET.)