As I choke on my tea and chuckle ruefully

By Mir
April 4, 2006

(And, apparently, rhyme.)

To the person who came here searching for this information:

1) Sorry. I suspect you were disappointed in what you found.
2) I’m not sure I remember how.
3) Even if I do, I’m not giving lessons.


  1. chris

    I would think it would be like riding a bicycle.

  2. Kris

    Well, you were married once. Once you get married, you never have to give another blowjob ever. It’s like a get out of jail free card. EVERYONE knows that. (Even if you don’t stay married, it’s still applicable. I’ve used it through two already. LOL!)

  3. Contrary

    Oh, it is just WAY too early in the morning for this kind of thing. Though, you have to feel bad for someone who has to search for the info, assuming they’re looking for tips after a bad review. Poor thing.

  4. ben

    Hey, somebody was looking at my blog for the exact same thing!

    Also, this.

  5. bella

    Oh my gawd! Well, that was a first!

  6. Cele

    I’m not sure how to reply to this one. I’m laughing because it is about the last thing I expected. I’m laughing because of the replies – especially Ben’s. And I am thinking be honest Cele. Okay, I feel sorry for who ever was searching for the information because….

    1) blowing a job interview is apparently easy and intentional. Ask the idiots who walk into my office – 1) reeking of cigarette smoke, 2) thinks being a dj is easy and requires no experience 3) has demands 4) and a work history that reads more like a who’s who of people that have to hire and fired on a monthly basis.

    2) after giving a blow job, what intelligent person expects anything in return?

    3)If you’re going to give one you should love it, and turn it into an art form

    4) Oh, mi gosh, I really hope number four is referring to a car, because that would bring shallow male vanity to an all time low. Although it would slide better.

  7. Bella

    Wow, that is just plain sad that someone actually had to look that up!

  8. ben

    I’ve been walking around all morning singing “and ‘sucker’ was her name-O!”


  9. InterstellarLass

    Oh my Oh Dear. No lessons? Really? Bummer…

  10. rudolf

    I’m sure if you wanted to brush up on your skills, you would, uh, be able to find willing test subjects.

    Re: Cele’s #2, it’s a sad reflection on men (and I’m a guy saying this…). It’s only gentlemanly to return the favor.

    But it’s all too common, so, ladies, make it contingent on them taking care of you first :-)

  11. Niihaus

    Imagine my disappointment when I got here.

  12. Y

    Awww…Someone wants to learn how to play the skinflute.

  13. surcie

    Oh Lordy, that’s funny.

  14. Heather Cook

    Oh my goodness, I just choked on my lunch… maybe the person searching for that topic was having the same problem.

  15. Brian

    In the past, you’ve expressed concern that ckickadee and monkey will need therapy because of some of the things you write about them. I have a feeling that if either one of them reads this someday, numbers 2 and 3 will make them need therapy more than anything you’ve written about them.

  16. wheelomatic

    Dang, logged in at work and the link was BLOCKED.

    Bet I can guess what it was about tho’.

    Maybe it was Secondary!

  17. ann adams

    You must be doing something I’m not. All I ever get is people looking for recipes.

    Darn – your life is so much more exciting than mine.

    Ann (aka granny)

  18. Cher

    LOL. Well, I’m sure sorry to hear they were looking here for that information. But.. can you imagine the poor person on the receiving end of that blow job? Getting it from someone who NEEDS INSTRUCTIONS? Eek! I’m thinkin.. chainmail condoms… just a thought..

  19. Diane

    Well then! I’m still glad I came.


  20. ben

    That’s odd… I haven’t seen a post from your Dad today.


  21. Ms Sisyphus

    I’m surprised the poor ignorant soul ended up here. I’d have thought Snowball’s place woulda been the more intuitive choice.

  22. bob

    or maybe your past is coming back to haunt you? the secret apprenticeship with Xaviara Hollander is coming to light.

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